/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.14323733]

>stand next to toilet door
>about to enter
>too late to spot the janitor cart is in front of the women toilets
>realize I can still abort and come back later
>women toilet door opens and janitor comes out
>NO
>she sees me holding the handle and asks if I can hold the door open please
>NO NO NO
>s-sure
>have to take a dump but now simply CANNOT because I know the janitor will be waiting for me and she WILL KNOW it was me who took a shit
>"heh I will come back later, don't wanna bother you"
>she says no sweetie it's okay just come in
>FUCK FUCK FUCK
>bowel system is prepared to take a shit no way I sit on a log of shit for another 15 minutes
>take a shit real fast, maximum pressure only wasted like 5 minutes of my wageslave time
>exit the toilet quickly as I hear "hope it doesn't smell too bad sweetheart teehee"


FUCK. THIS. Why is shitting at work always such an exercise

[Anonymous No.14323751]

>>14323733

I love this board

[Anonymous No.14323760]

>>14323733
Plot twist : here’s Opie

[Anonymous No.14323764]

>>14323733
was the janitor mexican ?

[Anonymous No.14323772]

>>14323733
lol

[Anonymous No.14323782]

>>14323733
>only wasted like 5 minutes of my wageslave time

[Anonymous No.14323825]

>not taking a piss and toughing it out another hour
>not memorizing the jannies schedule
Pathetic

[Anonymous No.14323838]

>>14323733

>work in a cubicle
>shit in a cubicle

Cubicle cucks are the worst kek.

I used to work in a nursing home, so all the bathrooms are basically disabled bathrooms in case a elderly person needs to use them, even the staff ones in staff areas. Whenever I had to take a shit, I go into the large, spacious private room about the size of a home bathroom, take off all my clothes and hang them on the handrails surrounding the room (would put them in corners at the back where no one probably touches there) and then take my shit at a leisurely pace. Then after I wiped, I would rip up paper towls and dab them in soap and water, and scrub my asshole with soapy wet towels and then damp watery ones. Once I was sure my asshole felt fresh and clean, I would get heaps of soap and smear it over my entire body, and then get more paper towels and soak them under the private bathroom tap and basically bath myself for about 15-20 minutes until I felt as if I had taken a pseudo shower, and all of this was on company time. I would also put water through my hair and pubes to freshen them up too. Then I would redress and exit to go back to my shift with no one the wiser.

[Anonymous No.14323932]

>>14323838
Thanks for the laughs man. Jesus Christ.

[Anonymous No.14323948]

>>14323838
>Cubicle
I wish I had one. I work in the open space and everybody can see I do shit but browsing 4chan all day long. Makes me feel unprofessional kek

[Anonymous No.14323949]

Junkies at my work use the disableds to pass weed. They think noone goes to thw disableds, but I do. And I regularly tax em wout em probably even noticing

[Anonymous No.14323966]

>>14323733
Kek

[Anonymous No.14323996]

>>14323838
>Cubicle cucks
Tell that to the linkies

[Anonymous No.14324133]

>>14323838
I envy you

[Anonymous No.14324194]

>>14323932
>>14323948
>>14324133

I used to spend a few minutes washing my penis in the sink too. Just letting the cold water run over it, and scrubbing my balls clean with soapy water. It was great because I didn't have to worry about people knocking because it was a multi level nursing home and every bathroom was required to be accessible for disabled/elderly. So I would travel down to the basement level and use the bathroom down there for some peace and quite during my shitting session.

I also made use of all the disabled equipment around the toilet like handrails, the custom seat shape etc and I would squat over the bowel with my feet on pads on the seat, so the shit would just flow right out with ease, and so I didn't have to let my ass touch the toilet. The toilet had a high power flusher too so I didn't even have to worry about leaving evidence via skid marks at the bottom of the bowel. Really, I've never had better work shits.

>>14323996

I am a Linkie kek.