/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.14308823]

> be me
> be 18
> graduate highschool
> dad says "you're on your own son"
> graduate college in 2009 (with debt and few job options)
> "you're on your own son"
> slave and suffer for many years, bad jobs and renting cheap rooms
> get into trades as a plumber
> start a plumbing and handyman business 5 years ago
> I start to do well and finally join the middle class
> 3 years ago I get married. Want to buy house with wife but the finance part is tricky because I'm self employed. Ask my father if he will cosign on the mortgage so my wife and i can purchase our first home.
> "you're on your own son"
> wife and I have a baby together soon after marriage. We ask my father for some help watching him
> "you're on your own son"

Fast forward to now. Wife and i have a 10 month old baby. 100k in the bank and are on our way to financial success. Nothing but work and sacrifice got us here. Now my father, who maybe I should add lives in a 2 million dollar home, asks like twice a month if my family wants to come visit and have dinner with him and his new wife. Come stay the weekend, etc.

I always say no. "You're on your own dad".

Am I in the wrong here?

[Anonymous No.14308839]

He sounds like a sociopath

[Anonymous No.14308860]

>>14308839

This is just what my brother told me.

[Anonymous No.14308867]

>>14308823

Your dad is a fucking prick

[Anonymous No.14308870]

/biz/ - Relationship Advice

[Anonymous No.14308874]

>>14308823
>this happened

twist is he really said this when yelling at his father to fetch hot pockets

[Anonymous No.14308894]

>>14308823
I dunno, hard to say there. If he's doing it to try and get money out of you, that's one thing. If it's just a family get together, I'd say consider it at least. If he's a totally unlikable prick, give it a skip, but if he was just not the type to financially support you because he's a turbo-jew but otherwise decent guy, what's there to lose?

Again, unless he's going to ask you for money/financial assistance. Never lend money to family, ever, not without a contract. I'm paying for that right now.

[Anonymous No.14308906]

>>14308867

BUT saying that, a part of being an alpha and a man is coming to terms with people's faults. Maybe he acted like that because he was treated the same way by your grandfather? They are from different generations and a lot of the time cannot comprehend how absolutely fucked life is for a millennial compared to how they had it.

[Anonymous No.14308957]

>>14308874

It's real bro.

I've shared this story with a few people and they find it shocking.

I hardly speak with my father. I just don't know what my final actions should be. Some tell me just to be positive and nice, others say to end the relationship entirely.

I started my business with my pickup truck and $2k in the bank. That was every dollar that I had.

[Anonymous No.14308974]

>>14308894

He has a ton of money. I think he just wants to see his grandkid.

[Anonymous No.14308983]

>>14308906

I think he was raised in a similar way but I don't know.

[Anonymous No.14309011]

>>14308823
>Graduate HS, you're on your own
This is true
>Graduate college, you're on your own
This is very true
>Want a house, but can't get a mortgage, you're on your own
Absolutely true

So your bitter because your father stopped providing once you become an adult? Holy fucking american entitlement

[Anonymous No.14309110]

no youre goid. it amazing that people like this think the situation wont be reversed on them yet here they are. id cut him out entirely if he doesnt have anything to offer at this point

[Anonymous No.14309141]

I appreciate your post.
You are already financially successful - most are broke. Mostly buy choice but still 90 days from homeless.
Had your father been generous would you of arrived to the $100k mark? Would the drive to accumulate have been there or would you have bought a new $60k truck and corresponding toys like every other dumb dumb if you got the consignment.
Best you can do is raise your children with the greatness your father did on you but without the faults.
But I would urge you to be careful not to create a faggot NEET son that plays video games and is content with low aspirations because monthly payments are being met.

[Anonymous No.14309144]

>>14309011

Part of me agrees with you, except the mortgage part.

The loan process is extremely stringent because of the 08 collapse. And the 08 collapse was due to the extreme mismanagement by boomers. Many people under 30 ask their parents to cosign so they can get their first home. I don't think it's asking too much.

[Anonymous No.14309145]

>>14308983
>i was raised by a prick, i guess that means my future is sealed and i have no free will
i hate this excuse more than any other. this is the kind of thing niggers do ffs.

[Anonymous No.14309147]

>>14309011
Name a first world country like this beside America, if you have kids that doesn't stop when they become legally an adult. If you had a normal childhood I imagine that you had dinners where the patriarch of your family (grandpa) was revered with a kind of respectful glow. The reason he was like that wasn't because he was old or even because he was rich, it was because he (or you grandma if she was based) helped out younger family members to create a strong family, for you, your parents, aunts, uncles, etc. He literally never took a day off until he was unable to do so, making sure his offspring could at least enjoy life. This is what bothers me so much about the boomers, they bought into this meme that 18 is some magic pill that turns you into a wise old man. That and the weird belief that you need to be miserable for no reason or you're going to be a loser. It's not true young people need guidance that can only come a well balance and stoic adult ready to shoulder the burden of their offspring and then some.

[Anonymous No.14309152]

Yes

[Anonymous No.14309154]

He was probably trying to help you become self sufficient and let you learn to take Care of yourself, had he babied you maybe you wouldn’t have been successful or at least that’s how he felt.

[Anonymous No.14309165]

Is it fair to deny your children their grandpa?
He won’t be around forever.

[Anonymous No.14309169]

Did he kick you out of the house at 18? That's unforgivable, but everything else isn't unreasonable

[Anonymous No.14309189]

>>14309011
t. r selected species

>>14309144
You are 100% correct, especially in hcol areas

[Anonymous No.14309194]

>>14308823
>based tough-love dad pushes you toward making it
>now is proud of you and wants to bond with you

yea you suck OP. He is only in the wrong if he plans to not reward you by leaving his fortune to you.

He probably should have cosigned the mortgage though

[Anonymous No.14309205]

>>14309165
Yes it is, especially if their grandpa is a faggot boomer like OPs

[Anonymous No.14309238]

>>14308823
why do you still answer his calls?

[Anonymous No.14309240]

>>14309165

He won't watch the child. Ever. Not once. Just wants us to visit and do the work.

[Anonymous No.14309249]

>>14308823
Is he Jewish?

[Anonymous No.14309252]

>>14309238

I asked myself this today.

Idk. It's hard to let go of a parent.

[Anonymous No.14309257]

>>14308823
Hell no. Fuck him.

[Anonymous No.14309280]

The replies on this thread restored my faith in humanity.

Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind sir!

[Anonymous No.14309282]

>>14309240
He's a huge fag. Elders helped take care of grandchildren all through history.

[Anonymous No.14309286]

>>14309011
what a jew

[Anonymous No.14309317]

>>14308823

No point in burning bridges. Might as well spend the weekend in his swanky house. Maybe when he dies you'll inherit some of his millions.

[Anonymous No.14309318]

>>14308823
>You're on the your own
Hé wanted to teach you what he learned the hard way.

I don't see any issues here, typical dad/son bullshit.

[Anonymous No.14309336]

>>14309318
this. OPs dad sounds based
tough love n sheit

[Anonymous No.14309341]

>>14309318
He did it at the expense of sacrificing a relationship with his son. Is it really worth it?

[Anonymous No.14309363]

>>14308823
Yeah you're in the wrong. You're supposed to learn to provide for yourself and for the last bits, your dad is not supposed to be expected to cosign your goddamn mortgage. Thats a gamble if you dont have the means to fully secure it on your own, and is as retarded as asking your dad to put his name on margin account paperwork for you so you can trade with money you dont have.

[Anonymous No.14309385]

>>14309317
inb4 reverse mortgage or new wife gets it all

[Anonymous No.14309392]

>>14309341
yes, if my son is able to make it on his own and succeed in this shitty world then i've succeeded as a father

[Anonymous No.14309423]

>>14309392
then release him in the wild with a butter knife, then youll be more successful

[Anonymous No.14309437]

>>14308957

....oh poor baby...actually had to work!!!! ....quick someone post on reddit so we can all upboat and hug you!!!!!

Your dad gave you a great experience. You now know everything your life is YOURS. Its a wonderful manly feeling. Being able to fuck your wife in the house that YOU bought....welcome to being a real man.

Perhaps you're just millenial trash who is afraid of the world?

[Anonymous No.14309450]

>>14308823
Sounds like your dad is a bit socially retarded, like most boomers are. But as far being a dad comes, he did a good job. You're succesfull because he raised you the way he did.

How about you sit down with him and have a real talk. I know it's hard to confront your own father but you owe to him and yourself. Just cutting him off without a word is running away.

[Anonymous No.14309458]

you're on your own anon

[Anonymous No.14309477]

>>14309450
All this right but if dad don’t give a fuck about grandkids, tell him to have nice life.

[Anonymous No.14309478]

>>14308823
"you're on your own, faggot!"

[Anonymous No.14309500]

Sounds like your dad is finally ready to have a relationship with a son who finally doesn't need a bailout

[Anonymous No.14309501]

>>14308823

>Give your son a chance to make it on his own and learn important lessons along the way

I can kinda see the wisdom in that...

> wife and I have a baby together soon after marriage. We ask my father for some help watching him
> "you're on your own son"

Okay never mind he's just a selfish piece of shit. I'm imagining he wasn't inviting you over until after you started doing well financially.

[Anonymous No.14309521]

>>14308823
He def spunds like a prick...but no u shouldnt write him off totally..
Just go there for a dinner for a few hours, rent a hotel if hes far away
Just see him in small doses
When he checks out youll regret being estranged for stupid shit
If you really think about it, he helped you become successful, maybe not the best way lol but he still your old man op, hes just a fucking boomer. Im sure u made him proud.
I have family that was helped out every chamce they needed it and theyll need to be helped for the rest of their life, theyll never leave the state on their own, not to shittalk my senpai but its just the truth. Ive had it hard too man, been working straight sonce i was 18, that was over 15 yrs ago. With pretty much zero vacations.

[Anonymous No.14309532]

>>14308823
You and your dad both sound based desu. he did a great job with you. You are a great guy.

[Anonymous No.14309624]

>>14308823
Tell your dad to fuck off and cut all ties, he sounds like your average boomer jew who only gives a fuck about himself.

[Anonymous No.14309683]

>>14308823
Listen your dad may be a prick but absolutely do not write him out of your life. One day he will be dead, and you’ll realize you sacrificed all the time in the world you had left with the only dad you’ll ever have to make some stupid point.