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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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13933234 No.13933234 [Reply] [Original]

>tfw inflating a balloon without bursting it now determines whether you will get an entry level graduate job or not

every employer now does this shit in the UK.

should i consider seppaku at this point /biz/? I can't seem to get in anywhere desu

>> No.13933246
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13933246

>>13933234

this is a trick question, r-right /biz/?

>> No.13933270

>>13933246
surprise. Why they use a black guy though?

>> No.13933309

>>13933246
Neutral. Although I think it's a trick question to see if the wh*tes are racist and select anger

>> No.13933310

never applying for a job again

>> No.13933316

>>13933234
inflating balloons to greatest extent possible appears the perfect metaphorical qualification for whoring in current absolute state Bong 'economy'

>> No.13933319
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13933319

>>13933270
>>13933309

>> No.13933345

>>13933234

There is no way any functionally useful data could be gathered from this considering there is no way to infer the point at which a given balloon will pop.

I suspect this is because corporations are now aware of government experiments suggesting some people possess an ability to make predictions about the future and with automation on the horizon the only people who will get jobs will be those with genuine psychic powers.

>tfw even being a psychic demigod will only be enough to secure an average wage in a decade

KEK

>> No.13933363
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13933363

>>13933319
Disgust.

>> No.13933364

>>13933345
I'll try post some webms of these tests. I got several hours of it

>> No.13933369

>>13933345
the purpose is to measure your risk aversion, which is silly because there is no risk involved

>> No.13933429
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13933429

>>13933246

>> No.13933440

>>13933369

>measure your risk aversion by giving you a game where there is no way to calculate risk since every balloon might pop the second you press inflate thus giving you a score of 0

>> No.13933451
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13933451

>>13933319
Are these oblivion characters lol

>> No.13933502
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13933502

>>13933345

>> No.13933521

>>13933429
My sides got absolutely justed

>> No.13933563

>>13933440
it's stupid but a mate did this test and they determined that he was a risk seeker
the recruitment industry needs to be holocausted

>> No.13933606
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13933606

>>13933234
>>13933246
>>13933270
>>13933309
>>13933310
>>13933316
>>13933319
>>13933345
>>13933363
>>13933364
>>13933369
>>13933429
>>13933440
>>13933451
>>13933502
>>13933521
>>13933563

fuck fuck fuck FUUUUUUCK

>> No.13933653

>>13933606
Man you suck lol

>> No.13933701
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13933701

wtf am I looking at?

>> No.13933730

>>13933701
Wageslaves toil. Shekelberg has him jumping through hoops just to get a job to work to death and die a slave. You have to compete with other slaves to become a slave now.

>> No.13933745

keep in mind lads that everything that can be measured will be automated
if this is the type of test your job requires you're just a temporary replacement for a machine

>> No.13933909

>>13933701
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2c0xlPQ8YXg

>> No.13934017
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13934017

>>13933701

the actual test requires you to maximise profit without bursting the balloon. the higher your score, the better your chance of getting to the next stage, which is talking into a webcam with an AI interviewer from Hirevue for 2 hours.

>> No.13934056

>>13934017
>which is talking into a webcam with an AI interviewer from Hirevue for 2 hours
what a time to be alive. almost

>> No.13934067

>>13934017
Wagecucks absolutely done here. Have some fucking dignity and become a NEET. Next time I see some wagie pussy who spends all day groveling to Mr. Shekelbot for the OPPORTUNITY to work for pennies I’m going to smack that faggot

>> No.13934085

this thread is so fucked up. where are you guys applying, Home Depot or some dumb shit?
good jobs don't ask for this kind of bullshit just so you know. hang in there, but for fucks sake work your way up and out. don't get stuck in this kind of shitty position for life.

>> No.13934124

>>13934085
Looks like PWC from the balloon. After all their bonehead moves it's probably best they test you NEETs.

>> No.13934138
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13934138

>>13934017
Haha what the fuck. What is this test called? Can I see a video of it? For what type of job is this test taken? Are the pictures with faces/emotions real? I can't stop fucking laughing holy shit

>> No.13934148

>>13934085
>this thread is so fucked up. where are you guys applying, Home Depot or some dumb shit?

Pricewaterhouse Coopers judging from the logo on the balloon?

>> No.13934177
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13934177

>>13933246
Looks like black butthead

>> No.13934189

>>13934085
>good jobs

Unless you want to work as a """recruitment consultant""" or some scammy MLM firm, there are no good jobs outside of graduate recruiters in the UK, who all do similar kinds of game based assessments or psychometric screening.

>>13934138
There are no pictures/videos because the company who runs this keeps DMCA'ing and removes them. The cucks at thestudentroom also delete any mention of these tests.

>>13934148
Yeah its PWC. I applied for one of their graduate schemes. Didn't get through the AI hirevue interview unfortunately.

>> No.13934192

>>13933606
geriatric boomer can't even into vidya

>> No.13934207

>>13934148
tbf, 'PWC = Home Depot or some dumb shit' - an entirely legit comparison

>> No.13934236
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13934236

>>13934189
Fuck, suspected as much. But the part with the faces just can't be fucking real. Are they afraid of recruiting autismos or what? As a software developer I kept getting disguised IQ tests all the time but never seen anything like that. I don't think I would be able to keep a straight face

>> No.13934277

>>13934138
I had to do this shit too before getting a job this year (fresh grad). It's spreading very quickly, multiple platforms. One I had to do was called pymetrics.

You play assorted ADHD games and these evaluate your personality / decision making skills and fit for a job, supposedly.

There's no real reason to believe that they're any better than conventional techniques, but they fit the modern trend of degrading all seriousness and heftiness into fun, cuteness and smiles as we Japanify ourselves into a purely meaningless quantitative and transitive world of the Antichrist

>> No.13934303

>>13934236
The faces part is real, and it makes economical sense to load these closed-source applicant screeners with racism and sexism detectors, so you can guarantee they're in there too.

>> No.13934327

>>13934017
>hirevue
holy shit just kill me now. my current job only required 2 phone interviews and 0 tests (i just linked my portfolio and sent some applets i'd made for other interviews)

>> No.13934335

>>13934017
Toilberg has gone too far this time
He needs to be stopped

>> No.13934520
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13934520

>>13934236
>>13934303

Here is a short webm of the faces test.

The full test is 90 minutes long and there are several different games, including this one.

There were several memory tests and reaction tests on how quickly you can press a button - all for a literal fucking desk job

Honestly, there is no reliable way to prepare for them other than being naturally gifted. If you play a lot of vidya, you might find these easy.

>> No.13934561

>>13934520
That black dude was HAPPY man fuck you racist piece of shit

>> No.13934606

>>13934520
Weeding out the autists hahahaha

>> No.13934651

>>13934606
That is literally what they're doing

>> No.13934710

>>13934651
They’re breaking the law if they are. Autism is protected under the Disability Act in the UK.

>> No.13934728

>>13934710
you should definitely threaten legal action, you can probably get like 10k out of it

>> No.13934756

>>13933440
That's what makes it risky.

>> No.13934797

>>13934710
>>13934728
Might be worth a shot. There's a lot of studies on facial emotion recognition for people with autism but I didn't find many conclusive results. Maybe that's why they can get away with it.

>> No.13934800

>>13934606
I could semi-understand for a sales / hosting, reception or PR job (where you need a LOT of emotional intelligence, as it's a direct skill for the job), however why the shit is this necessary for a desk job?

>> No.13934822

>>13934800
Because they are a services company that service clients they have to meet.

>> No.13934849

>>13934800
>>13934822

Even engineering companies do this. It doesn’t matter if you apply for sales or back office tech positions. Everyone has to do the same test.

>> No.13934914

>>13934849
Is this just a bong thing, I've never had to do something this fucking weird.

>> No.13934933

>>13933730
lol this, so true. waging is a fucking circus.

>> No.13934985

>>13934277
had to nearly puke on your last section, its true af sadly. about extre time for some new holocaust and gassings.

>> No.13934991

>>13934914
Yeah might be a bong thing. You don’t hear much about it because most universitity graduates are foreigners and they normally collude with each other to get these jobs

>> No.13934994

Holy fuck this is some next level black mirror shit. Wait until it syncs with the chip in your head and one bad wagie test follows you around for life.

What the fucking fuck.

>> No.13935023

I think they're fucking following me
I haven't taken this test in about 8 months nor mentioned it anywhere
The moment I attempt to find the name and post about it here they send me an e-mail reminding me to give feedback
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>> No.13935028

>>13933429
kek

>> No.13935083
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13935083

Imagine being cucked enough to go through hours of this sheckelbergery in the hopes of being a wage slave

>> No.13935152

>>13934994
The cyberpunk dystopia is upon us gentleman
Me? Thanks for asking, I’ll be a shadowrunner, fighting the megacorps front my hideout in the slums

>> No.13935199
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13935199

This is ridiculous. How can people stand subjecting themselves to trivial nonsense like this. You don't need these retarded tests just to be a desk jockey wage slave. We honestly need some kind of massive conflict that will thin the herd and wake people up. Right now it's just a slow culling into oblivion.

>> No.13935221

>>13934606
This but actually. It's discrimination not to mention completely irrelevant to 99% of back office work.

>>13935152
Based

>> No.13935270

just fucking get a part time at mcdonalds and start leeching off welfare like shitskins, its what im doing

>> No.13935277

>>13934017
The people who made this or demanded for it to be made need to be dragged out of their homes and shot. Not in minecraft. IRL.

>> No.13935298

This only happens to people without skills who need to apply to low level jobs that any monkey can fill, personally I work in IT and the job market is so tight I get job offer spam all the time, the last job I got all it took was for me to accept an offer from a recruiter who I knew from my previous job and a five minute interview which was basically just some small talk with my new manager about college football.

Pro tip, never stay in one job for more than 3-4 years, they never give as large of raises than if you were to go to a new job, my last job jump increased my pay by close to 50%.

>> No.13935794
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13935794

Bumping for wage cucks to see that this is your future, forever.

>> No.13936011

>>13933429
If only you knew how bad things really are

>> No.13936030

>>13935298
Was thinking about IT as a 20something nerd too pussy to do blue collar work.

What credentials did you get before securing work? Certification?

>> No.13936065

>>13933234
Tf is this

>> No.13936355

>>13934017
BTC simulator

>> No.13936633

>>13934189
there are definitely jobs that pay well and don't look over your shoulder while you pee. this kind of testing at a job is a huge red flag imo. never would I put up with it.

>> No.13936677

>>13933502
So basically they want to see how good of a slave you're going to be.

Time to put all my hopes and dreams into LINK.

>> No.13936689

>>13936677
>link
sir...

>> No.13936817

>>13936633
>there are definitely jobs that pay well

Not at the entry level. There are firms which lock you up as a 2 year indentured consultant so you can get "experience". Most people I know just get jobs through pure nepotism because there literally is no other way.

>> No.13936892

>>13935152
>Shadowrunner
>Fighting megacorps
You don't play much shadowrun, do you?

>> No.13937203

>>13933246
This question directly discriminates against people with autism. I have worked at 2 big 4. I have a nightmare very occasionally that i am back in one of them and have to go to day 1 induction

>> No.13937257

>>13933246
he's pissed that you didn't give him extra discount

>> No.13937560

>>13936689
I got in while it was really cheap, it's basically just a lottery ticket that I won't know if I won or not until 2 years from now.

>> No.13937978

>>13934520
Did they actually use the oblivion engine for these faces?

>> No.13938033

>>13936817
so at what point did I say anything about say anything about entry level jobs? quite the opposite actually.
>hang in there, but for fucks sake work your way up and out. don't get stuck in this kind of shitty position for life.
feels good being a boomer whose already made it.