/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.13835269]

I've just realised that my extreme malaise started in 2014 and I'm about to come up to the 5 year anniversary. Maybe it started earlier but I remember a different feeling at the start of 2014. So that's 5 solid years of wasting all my free time on the internet, feeling constantly sad at my ugly betaness (I was already r9kpilled before 2014 but seeing the lookspill / blackpill when Elliot Rodger became famous was a new level), procrastinating my "real life" of hard work, and huge numbers of binges on junk food or coffee.

In that time I've graduated university, had a good job, and my career will start soon with another good job, but I still have an empty life with my 20s (I'm now 28) consisting of no friends, no female attention ever, no holidays, and I've never been to a pub, club, or party. I'm a zero charisma and uptight person.

I read books. I exercise. But I simply cannot go from being a consumercuck to a producerbull. I listened to the radio today and heard about teenagers selling hacked Fortnite accounts for thousands a week. These kids have more life than me.

2016 *really* stands out as the nadir. I had so much free time and I did nothing. But having free time is simply the least worst state.

From 2014, my main hobby became established. It involves walking or driving around outside (and riding the underground train and visiting museums / parks when I was in London), browsing the internet on my phone, feeling sad about life, stopping for coffee or fast food binges, all while hoping that my 20s spontaneously stop feeling wasted. Of course I waste shitloads of money on food, and I could have had thousands more in the bank, though money is not currently a worry.

My existential ennui is deep but I see all philosophical axioms as arbitrary so no alleged system of thought can motivate me.

Life is flying by. I know how I want to spend my free time (learning maths / programming), I simply don't have the motivation to do anything.

[Anonymous No.13835316]

Maybe try shrooms?

[Anonymous No.13835342]

I remember you

[Anonymous No.13835390]

I had a similar feel but at least i partied a coupe times but i dont have a career nor a a job kek. Well at least i had a business (failed after almost 3 years) and got fit and had female attention but to much of autist to ever make moves.

[Anonymous No.13835413]

>>13835342
>This
Sup OP

I've seen your posts throughout the years and recognise your situation

I can't offer any help but I identify bro. Godspeed

[Anonymous No.13835434]

>>13835269
did you mistake this website for your personal blog or something?

[Anonymous No.13835457]

>>13835269
In exactly the same state op, and wealth makes no difference. It's a continual struggle find inspiration in life. Music and boxing are 2 things i can recommend

[Anonymous No.13835473]

>>13835413
don’t worry. me too. I met a girl on a train and talked to her for 3 hours. and was too pussy to get her contact info. Now i’m madly scrambling through the thousands of people with her name on facebook in a fruitless endeavor to find it. I was handed my soul mate on a silver platter and threw it away because I have no self esteem. I don’t know if she liked me back or was just humoring me. But in any case I literally cannot think of anything but her. Every single second of my thoughts are her smile and laugh. My entire life and sleep is disrupted because of this. I slept 3 hours past 3 nights because of her

I found a facebook messenger account that was her but the picture was from 9 years ago. sent a message into that abyss that will never be read. never been closer to ending it all

[Anonymous No.13835487]

>>13835269
You arn't missing anything from parties fren. But you are going to need friends before you get a hobby. Remember that the #1 cause of going back to your old habits is LONELINESS. Get frens by going to church or something, you don't have to believe but that is your only chance. I can't think of any place more welcoming... Alternatively you can move to a new place and reinvent yourself.
Godspeed fren.

[Anonymous No.13835499]

>>13835269
>elliot rodger
>r9k
Dude i'm 2/10 or 3/10 on a good day, and still fucked and i'm social. Stop reading/comparing yourself to some beta ass faggots , and actually realize that women are human , you won't get a princess if you are ugly, but you won't post here like a retard also. Shoot Q's

[Anonymous No.13835505]

>>13835473
don't be a creep if you see her again then you will have something to talk about but don't obsess over her. Move on.

[Anonymous No.13835519]

>>13835505
>don’t be a creep
it’s too late my life is doomed. my only salvation is to run away with her

[Anonymous No.13835532]

>>13835519
> my life is doomed
keep thinking that and your life is doomed. self-fulfilling prophecy.

[Anonymous No.13835550]

>>13835269
Youare unironically my favourite 4chan poster

You may not realize it but you ARE producer I and many other anons enjoy reading your posts, you should become an author and write michel houellebecq style copepills

[Anonymous No.13835598]

>>13835269
>From 2014, my main hobby became established. It involves walking or driving around outside (and riding the underground train and visiting museums / parks when I was in London), browsing the internet on my phone, feeling sad about life, stopping for coffee or fast food binges, all while hoping that my 20s spontaneously stop feeling wasted. Of course I waste shitloads of money on food, and I could have had thousands more in the bank, though money is not currently a worry.
that's basically my life for the past year and I don't see it becoming better. wtf is wrong with me

[Anonymous No.13835639]

>>13835269
based & bingepilled

[Anonymous No.13835686]

Id suggest therapy and possibly getting a pysch

You don't have to be dependent on them forever but it can help you get out of that rut