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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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13471138 No.13471138 [Reply] [Original]

>36 years old
>no drivers license
>still a virgin and convicted sex fellon from earlier days of groping women in public
>can't get a job because of criminal record
>have less than $500 in the bank
>$20,000 in debt and currently running away from loan shark to pay gambling debts
>wake up every morning and contemplate suicide like pic related
>realize I don't have a car and would need to break into someone's garage to be able to start their car and run a garden hose inside
>would probably get caught and go back to prison again

Guys what the fuck do I do? Please give me advise

>> No.13471144

>>13471138
>virgin
>convicted sex fellon
kek

>> No.13471150

>>13471138
Exit bag

>> No.13471151

>>13471138
Buy SV and go into hiding. Work a shit job under an alias for a couple years until you've made it.

>> No.13471170
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13471170

>>13471138
>groping women in public

>> No.13471190

zawa... zawa zawa...

>> No.13471195

>>13471151
>Buy SV
This

>> No.13471197
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13471197

>>13471138
Get in prison or join an Amish community

>> No.13471233

>>13471197
>Amish community
Is it that easy?

>> No.13471243
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13471243

>>13471138
The most important thing is to get a honest job. Do whatever you must to achieve that.
Avoid drugs, alcohol and dress well and clean.

If you feel bad and want to feel good, start running or some other exercise routine. I run as fast as I can and scream for fun. :D

>> No.13471244

>>13471138
>hit the gym and become /fit/
>sign up for msf basic ridercourse, get donorcycle license
>buy cheap bike
>now you're the cool, fit, biker guy, and you've been to jail
>19 year old pussies get all cummy for you
>everyone wants to be your bro
>do odd jobs and donate plasma for cash
>etc etc
What's your fucking excuse, faggot?

>> No.13471246

>>13471138
who'd you grope, anon ?
or, are pajeet and got caught ?, in which case, proceed with Plan A

>> No.13471261

>>13471138
tall buildings or bridge is best

>> No.13471314

>>13471244
This.

Gym membership is going to cost you $30-40 a month, maybe $80 first month cause of fees.

You get access to weights and a shower, in case you are become homeless.

Spend some money on protein supps and try to eat healthy.

Take a month doing an ABABAB 5*5 cycle of Benches, Squats, Shoulder Presses, Rows, Deadlifts and Pull Ups, (3 each, take your pick and stick to it) work up to your max weight each time - Mile run to start and finish, try to add 5% weight each week, or more reps.

Read the /fit/ sticky for more detail.

You'll have enough energy and motivation to get your shit straight, and the increased test and confidence will allow you to find a job, even if it is one off the books for cash.

Look for small general contracting companies who pay under the table.

Good luck anon.

>> No.13471658

>>13471138
Sell drugs on the darkweb.

>> No.13471680

>>13471138
>$20,000 in debt
What a dumb loan shark! What did ya borrow the funds for? what is the APR?

>> No.13471742

>>13471138
>Groping women in public
Was it a fatty on the skytrain, anon?