/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.13461890]

So imagine there's this beach side town, and every week there's an animal parade down the boardwalk. There's two groups of animal trainers, and they're rivals. One's from Spain and has a bunch of bulls and caballeros. The other's from Moscow and has bears and cossacks. Only one group can parade on a given week so they're always fighting it out for who gets to show off for all the townspeople. And the people fucking love it, they're putting bets on "Oh, the Cossacks will get it this time", "No, the Caballeros will, the Caballeros will". Cliques are formed of diehard fanatics for each group, who despise the other performance with a passion, raucously cheering and throwing street parties when their favorite trainers get the parade rpute, and breaking into angry ranting and melancholic weeping when they don't. Maybe the entire town's just that autistic, who knows.

[Anonymous No.13461901]

>>13461890
>One's from Spain and has a bunch of bulls and caballeros.

[Anonymous No.13461908]

>>13461901
>The other's from Moscow and has bears and cossacks.

[Anonymous No.13461916]

>>13461908
Then one day, it's parade time, and the town's out, watching and waiting. And they're standing along the side of the street, hoping to see a bull charging down the road or a hear a bear roaring in the distance, but there's nothing. Everybody's confused. "Where's the parade? There's always a parade..." And then one kid shouts "Look!" and points to the start of the route. And scuttling there, as happy as can be, is a

SINGLE
RUNTY
RETARDED LOOKING
CRAB

Just this tiny fucking crab, with a tiny fucking stupid looking face, scuttling sideways down the boardwalk. Except since it's so retarded, it can't even scuttle in a straight line, it oscillates up and down the path, occasionally stumbling on a knothole or falling down a set of steps. Just the single fucking crab.

And everybody is disappointed, because it sure as fuck ain't as exciting as a bear or bull, so they go home grumbling. "But hey," they think to themselves as they tuck themselves in that night, "at least it should just be this one time. What's the chances of it happening again?"

[Anonymous No.13461929]

>>13461916
And the next week, they're out on the boardwalk again, and looking for a bear or bull, except here comes the

FUCKING
WEEDY
UGLY
RETARDED
CRAB
AGAIN

and it does its stupid fucking shuffle down the boardwalk, and the townsfolk are angry. They throw trash at it and boo, "GO HOME CRAB" but the crab doesn't care because it's a crab and even if it wasn't it'd still be too stupid too understand. And this happens the next week, and the week after that, and the week after that.

The townsfolk are devestated by this. Watching this crab is boring as hell compared to the bears or bulls. Some try to make do; they bet on how many times the crab will trip, or if it'll meander too far to one side of the walk. But their hearts just aren't in it anymore.

Months go by. The town dejectedly shuffles to the parade route, expecting nothing but the crab again. Then, in the distance, they hear it.

The sound of hoofs.

A horde of bulls charges in, men dressed like gauchos on their backs cheering and whooping. The crowd is estatic. Even the bear supporters are enthused, because at least it's not that fucking crab again. Kids buy balloons, fireworks go off, ticker tape everywhere. The town goes to sleep that night and has pleasant dreams.

The next week, they go back to the boardwalk, and guess who comes down the street?

THE
FUCKING
RETARD
CRAB

And that's what being on /biz/ during this recent crypto market is like.

[Anonymous No.13461958]

>>13461890
How do I invest in the drugs you are on?

[Anonymous No.13461996]

Snippity Snabbity follow the eight fold Pathity

[Anonymous No.13462047]

Most epic thread of 2019

[Anonymous No.13462068]

Beautiful posts, OP.

[Anonymous No.13462112]

kek
this is my favorite

[Anonymous No.13462145]

I want to live in that town.

[Anonymous No.13462161]

[Anonymous No.13462164]

hi
it seems you forgot me

[Anonymous No.13462174]

Join the crab.

[Anonymous No.13462183]

>>13462164
Greeniggers kindly fuck off.

[Anonymous No.13462191]

>>13462183

[Anonymous No.13462193]

>>13462174
snib

[Anonymous No.13462197]

snab

[Anonymous No.13462203]

>>13461929
Beautiful. Poetic. 10/10.

[Anonymous No.13462205]

>>13462191
Stop right there. You're causing a disturbance.

[Anonymous No.13462225]

>>13462205
If bull is up and eat down what’s mouse? Crab sideways

[Anonymous No.13462228]

>>13462047
>>13462068
>>13462203
Shitty post because shitty op forgot about me

[Anonymous No.13462237]

>>13462193
>>13462197

beautiful images fren, just saved them.

[Anonymous No.13462238]

>>13462205
HE'S A GUD BOY HE DINDU NUFFIN FUK THA POLEECE

[Anonymous No.13462242]

>>13461890
Russia > Spain

[Anonymous No.13462250]

>>13462225
>eat
>down
Its bear you fucking dummy. Mouse represents innocence, complete ignorance of the market, as well as small investors. It represents those who are innocent or too meek and shy to make large investments. They're too scared to go all in. Unlike their counterpart, the big elephant. An elephant is not as big or as influential as a whale or a dolphin, but he always likes to go in big and invest with everything he's got and he's darn proud regardless of whether his investment succeeds or backfires.

[Anonymous No.13462255]

>>13462228
What does the mouse do?

[Anonymous No.13462256]

>>13462238
That's not a nig mouse you dumb dumb.

< This is a nig mouse

[Anonymous No.13462264]

>>13462255
Read >>13462250

Fucking dummies all around me.

[Anonymous No.13462266]

>>13462250
Ok thank you sir! Buy BSV sir! Do the needful sir!

[Anonymous No.13462278]

>>13462266
Remember to always stay well-informed on market zoology.

[Anonymous No.13462308]

>>13462256
muh pops a nig mouse mums a whytey pops got killed by RAYCISS pohleece FK U PIG u don no me

[Anonymous No.13462320]

>>13462278
*snib*

[Anonymous No.13462342]

>>13461890
now tell me how the clowns play into all this

[Anonymous No.13462344]

>>13462308
stfu you nigrat wannbe

[Anonymous No.13462368]

>>13462344
i have no more mices

[Anonymous No.13462545]

>>13462344
Based

[Anonymous No.13463354]

>>13462368
>i have no more mices
That's against the law!

[Anonymous No.13463367]

>>13462545

[Anonymous No.13463733]

>>13461890
Based and creativitypilled

[Anonymous No.13464254]

>>13461958

[Anonymous No.13464381]

>>13462250
>tfw used to be an elephant but turned into a mouse

[Anonymous No.13464431]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vND2x02DhnE

2 many mouse pepe friends to save itt
crab market forever

[Anonymous No.13464937]

god i hate this board so fucking much

[Anonymous No.13465148]

>>13464937

[Anonymous No.13465713]

can i come too?