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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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13459273 No.13459273 [Reply] [Original]

> he doesn't have a Japanese toilet at home to clean his anus
> he thinks he will make it

>> No.13459279

>>13459273
That shit is whack. Real niggas don’t want this cuz we like our girls brappers stinky. That is literally ass backwards you low-t beta faggot.

>> No.13459282

I actually do. It's good, but not thst special. Gets the guests excited though.

>> No.13459283

>>13459273
How clean can they make my asshole? Also, are they capable of handling based american shits? None of that japanese onions shit, but a good solid american Lincoln log.

>> No.13459286

Pfft, I have instathots on full time duty to clean my anus after shits.

>> No.13459287

>he thinks automation is the key to making it
You should be supplying a job to a professional anus cleaner.

>> No.13459289

>he doesn't have nano machines that remove the need to poop
The lower class truly is filth

>> No.13459381

>>13459273
>Spraying liquid into your asshole
>Not totally gay

>> No.13459419

>>13459381
utterly based

>> No.13459423

Toto>

>> No.13459484

I just spray my ass out in the shower.

>> No.13459506

>>13459273
So after hitting a two week high on my crypto portfolio I decide to reward myself to the golden arches. I forget to specify that my order is to go, so they hand me a tray with the sandwich on it. I do not want it served to me like this but I do not take the tray back and ask for a bag because taking the tray back and asking for bags is not what winners do. I floor it out of the parking lot leaving the tray on the asphalt I drive home to my house and decide to save my sandwich for later because I have a stomachache from the ordeal mentioned previously. I open the refrigerator and try to figure out how I'm going to do this. I unplug the microwave and put it on the floor to prop the refrigerator door open until I can conduct research and form a plan. I open up Bing and immediately an archived post comes up from a guy using the username "ThreeForFree" who says he ate a McDonald's hamburger from the fridge once and caught a cholera and had to get his leg cut off. I get upset and decide to throw the sandwich away, but it occurs to me that the guy might have just been dumb about keeping the germs off of it. So I unwrapped the burger and put it on a plate. I take two pieces of paper out of the printer, placing one on top of the hamburger and the other one below the plate And loosely wrap the paper around the hamburger and pull out a huge line of scotch tape. I wrap the big piece of tape around the burger and the two pieces of paper in the plate and repeat the process with another piece of tape I keep wrapping tape around it until no part of the printer paper wrapper isn't covered with tape making it 100% scientifically sterile. I place the entire plate with the burger and paper and all wrapped around it inside of a plastic Safeway bag for good measure and close that off with a bag clip. I put it in the fridge, put the microwave back up onto the counter close the fridge and forget about the hamburger. A week later I had to throw it away.

>> No.13459518

>>13459273
I do have a japanese toilet it's called my girlfriend and her mouth

>> No.13459525

>>13459273
This was on /g/. Some people like good ol' wiping.

>> No.13459598

>>13459279
I'd give anything to smell a woman's ass.

>> No.13459845

>>13459484
based

>> No.13460330
File: 1.22 MB, 1200x1200, 1515641993145.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13460330

>>13459273
I don't really understand why americans think its so great to smear poop off their butt with thin "paper".

>> No.13460369
File: 153 KB, 250x250, 1535542233472.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13460369

>>13459273
Just put some water on tp.

>> No.13460413

>>13459279
I do this for my gf and her new bf

>> No.13460416
File: 1.99 MB, 1024x768, shittydogs.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13460416

>>13460330
oh no no no no anon
you use the toilet paper once to wipe excess shit then you switch to baby wipes to clean up and finally one last wipe with toilet paper to get rid of moisture.

>> No.13460419

>>13460416
WTF IS THAT

>> No.13460424
File: 45 KB, 634x650, c0c.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13460424

>>13459273
>imagine unironically getting cucked by a toilet
>he thought he made it

>> No.13460439

>>13460416
As evidenced by this picture it's not working. Americans are subhumans.

>> No.13460454

>>13460419

mud from flooding

>> No.13460464

>>13460416
so still you are using paper to smear it off. Bidet is a shower for your ass, the more expensive ones have a blow dryer to get rid of the moisture.

>> No.13460480
File: 74 KB, 678x960, 1556318551102.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13460480

>not shoving your fist inside your anus and pulling the shit out yourself
>Not apprasing your shit close up to make sure you're getting proper nutrients
Not going to make it

>> No.13460481

>tfw I got my gf to eat my ass for the first time last night

Feels good

>> No.13460485
File: 31 KB, 628x676, just right.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13460485

>>13459283
KEK

>> No.13460541

>>13459381
>using dry paper to clean shit from your body
>dry paper

This would literally be unnacceptable and gross anywhere on your body that isn't your anus. Truly plebeians disgust me.

>> No.13460557

>>13460416
Enjoy the sore anus from the chemicals in the wipes and the clogging of your toilet.

>> No.13460559

Wait so Americans walk around with shit smeared on their anus all day long? I thought the paper was to dry off after they used a sprayer.

>> No.13460574

I've spent one months mortgage on a Japanese toilet seat (plus bowl) can modulate seat heat, water heat and air heat.
it blows your ass dry afterwards and massages your asshole too. Self cleans the nozzle every use. Worth it

>> No.13460584

AMERICANS DRY WIPE THEIR BUTTHOLES AND THEN JUST WALK AWAY?

>> No.13460597

>>13460424
How is a clean anus cuckoldry? If you got shit on your arm would you just wipe it with a paper? NO, YOU FUCKING WASH IT WAS WATER LIKE A CIVILIZED HUMAN BEING. Fucking americans are actually retarded

>> No.13460605

i just wipe it with my ass deodorant stick to keep it fresh. one wipe is enough

>> No.13460938

ITT smearfags who can’t into dietary fibre

>>13459598
Would “anything” include getting a job?

>> No.13460992
File: 41 KB, 470x470, 1515996529123.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13460992

>>13460557
AHAHAAHAH anon are you actually so retarded to think anyone flushes wet wipes down the toilet ? seriously anon please dont be that autistic

>> No.13461026

Imagine being a Japanese coder who spends his time writing AI to detect where the ass hole is, having to get countless photos of ass holes sitting on loo's like this just to improve the AI.
>tfw 2chan has "Select all the Assholes captchas's"

Totally enjoy not being japanese.

>> No.13461082

How much

>> No.13461111

>>13460416

he cute

>> No.13461118

>>13460992

i flush them. deal with it wagies

>> No.13461146

>>13459273
>not shitting in a designated street

Never gonna be a superpower before 2030 my friend

>> No.13461156

>>13459484
I did this since i was a child.

Most people are just dirty for me.

>> No.13461211

>>13460559
>>13460584

Yes, it's disgusting.

Most europeans do this as well.

Fortunately, some patricians in these dirty places use a shower after defecating in order to clean themselves.

>> No.13461216
File: 11 KB, 345x345, 1556452549752.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13461216

>>13459273

No need good sir.

>> No.13461433

I actually do have a japanese toilet.
>heated seat
>ass spray - can change pressure and temperature of water
>eco options for flushing
>deodorizer
>auto flushing when i get off the seat

>> No.13461455

>>13461433
>ass spray - can change pressure and temperature of water
How deep can it spray into your hole on the strongest setting. How hot is max?

>> No.13461457
File: 53 KB, 582x449, 1518822652808.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13461457

imagine hosing down a shit colored elephant in a white porcelain room. I'd imagine it's going to be a disaster, especially looking at the OP pic. it's just going to create a wet mess that spreads around shit everywhere. I'll stick to good old fashioned American Standard please

>> No.13461478
File: 210 KB, 633x758, 1555825002090.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13461478

>>13459279
FPBP
this generation is full of sassy faggots who can't even imagine the smell

>> No.13461487

>He doesn't use a shower hose to celan his anus while on the toilet
>he must import fancy Japanese ceramic furniture to do it for him.

>> No.13461488

>he doesn’t have a squat toilet spray

Fucking amerifats never gunna make it

>> No.13461569

>>13461455
Deep enough to clean all the shit out of your ass. Max temp is like 75 degrees.

>> No.13461579

>>13459273
>he doesn't have a bidet

Fucking animals

>> No.13461592

>>13460541
Harsh truth.

>> No.13461614

>Not putting a hose up your ass after you shit to clean your colon, and not just the surface area
plebeians

>> No.13461966
File: 98 KB, 800x800, 1510536308502.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13461966

>>13459279
>be me, eating pussy for the first time in almost a year
>tfw no smell because we were just in the hot tub

>> No.13462141

>>13460938
Neets btfo

>> No.13462157

>>13459279

Fart fetishists need to get roped.

>> No.13462227

>>13460369
I do this, but I work from home so its easy for me to do so.