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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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13158267 No.13158267 [Reply] [Original]

What are some business ideas like bikini coffee shops that haven't hit mainstream yet?

>> No.13158274

>>13158267
getting a blowjob while drinking coffee

>> No.13158299

>>13158267
must be a spanish bitch. go to barcelona. a lot of beautiful women there. Also buy tron.

>> No.13158300

Bikini Vape espresso stands

>> No.13158307

I have a five word pitch, guaranteed to raise tens of millions in venture capital. I just need a female CEO with a deep voice to make the pitch.
Here it is: The internet, but for cupcakes.

>> No.13158332

>>13158274
fresh.. new... i like it

>> No.13158367

>>13158267
Theres a bbc special on why so many anime fans are autistic, and they have a "calm tuesdays" thing where the anime shop turns everything mild. They pay these slutty alt girls to be friendly with autists and NOT do the haruhi dance that they do every other day of the week. Basically do that plus a spencer's gifts that sells onaholes and hentai. I heard 27% of men have not had sex since turning 18? Virgin/sexual forgotten men is a booming business idea.

>> No.13158397

>>13158307
Call me when you get a frog eyed deep voiced bitch and I will invest 2 million for 1% of your business.

>> No.13158466

>>13158299
Fuck tron.

>>13158307
Dafuk?

>>13158367
You could be on to something here.

>> No.13158502

>>13158267
Imagine the smell. What do women's assholes smell like?

>> No.13158517

>>13158267
you again

>> No.13158528

>>13158502
Don't believe the incel fantasies. Women's assholes smell like shit.

>> No.13158540

Sex doll brothel, completely legal.

People come in, fuck the sex dolls, then you steralize them and repeat.

>> No.13158546
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13158546

>>13158307
delete this

>> No.13158568
File: 36 KB, 1280x720, maxresdefault.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
13158568

>>13158367
how do i long this without setting up my own shop? any anime coins i can buy and sell my bags to autists?

>> No.13158591

Spray tan booth

>> No.13158678

>>13158568
This. I want to profit off autists without having to deal with them.

>> No.13158811

>>13158307
Have an upvote and some gold stranger!

>> No.13158909

>>13158267
this pic right here proves she has perfect tits. i was worried before about pancake areolas but no longer

>> No.13158916

>>13158274
Hello
https://www.maxim.com/news/fellatio-cafe-geneva-2016-6

>> No.13158959

>>13158916
fucking based

>> No.13158965

>>13158267
an app that text your lawyer or random lawyers/bailbondsman when you get within the vicinity of a jail activated via location.

>> No.13158976

ready, set, go!

>> No.13159327

read replication for kubernetes clusters

>> No.13159593

>>13158267

coffee shop where the baristas are lactating tit cows that put their cream in your covfef

>> No.13159603

>>13158678
>>13158568
You need to make like 50k-ish on stocks or coins or whatever and put all of that up as collateral for a 200k loan from your bank. Then buy display space in your town's downtown. Walking distance is important cause weebs are going to be taking public transit or walking a pilgrimage to your store from moms house. Imports will take 2-3 months to get there from nihon by boat. Half the footage is going to be hangout space with no obligation to buy anything. Get events setup for autists on a schedule (socially isolated and very susceptible to organized social interactions like drawing, playing smash, etc). You need to hire girls that are fat enough to not make weebs afraid of them. Don't be afraid to go full NSFW prominently that's what they are all there for and you will sell more if you can normalize it, autists are too awkward to ever go to the back room. Your biggest competition is going to be amazon since NEETs by definition hate leaving the house and are probably savvy enough to buy anything you're selling online. Your greatest advantage is the girls and the sex holes since neets are alone and afraid of ordering lewd things on moms card/parents opening mail. You probably won't get much money selling things that can be pirated, so focus on niche things your audience doesn't already know about or physical merch.
>the british version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30nfka8J8Y0
>notice the signs on the chairs ENCOURAGING customers to sit there playing connect 4 like retards because weebs they are too nervous to take up space unless you explicitly tell them its ok
>you can probably pay your girls much lower than similar retailers because even in a white hot job market anime fans are crazy and will apply for the job no matter how bad it is
>if you can get to gender parity, you will surely profit because the girl weebs have much more money from their normie bfs/parents than the boys.

>> No.13159633

Dick Doughnuts

The dudes let you pick a doughnut off their hardons

Chocolate doughnuts for the black dudes
White dudes serve plain ones
ETC

Glazing costs extra ;)

>> No.13159640

Unironically electronic bidets. It makes no sense why the West hasnt adopted them yet. Once u use one u never want to go back to not having one.

>> No.13159658
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13159658

>>13159633
Fund it! Funniest shit i've read all day on this shit site.

>> No.13159692

>>13159633
more ideas

ok so like you know doughnut holes, but we just put em in the buttholes right?

something like doughbutt holes is what we call em

>> No.13159793

>>13158528
This. Sniffing ass is not as good as it sounds.

>> No.13159820

>>13159692
Your on a roll here lad. Just jam a bunch of dough up some dudes ass and let the customer reach in and wrench it out.

>> No.13159824
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13159824

What about peebottles?
Basically it's just empty bottles but we charge the price of a full bottle. And it's ecofriendly since we reuse old plastic 100% without even transforming it.
We could do a premium version delivered with a pack of urinal pastilles to drop onto the bottles.
I just think about it because i just used a 3 weeks old pee bottle and the smell is really awful.

>> No.13159857

>>13159820
thanks bro

we are also changing the name to Dickin' Doughnuts

>> No.13159971
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13159971

>>13159857
workin on the website now boys

>> No.13159976

>>13158267
Silly string dildos

>> No.13159990

Those nipples could pick up 5G millimetre waves on the London Underground.

>> No.13160099

>>13159971

LMFAO

>> No.13160428

>>13158299
>Also buy tron.
I'd like to put in a quick word here about Stellar

>> No.13160451

>>13159820
This could work if it was a churro in a pussy

>> No.13160480
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13160480

what about a bikini supermarket. like if Hooters was a grocery store.

>> No.13160519

>>13159824
I might buy if I needed to trash someone’s car by dumping gallons of piss in the sunroof

>> No.13160580

>>13160519
They already sell animal shit for pranks so it's not that far fetched

>> No.13160937

>>13158267
Brianna Marie Dale

>> No.13161051
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13161051

>>13159971
MEGA KEK

>> No.13161211

the movie Hostel, but only niggers.

so people pay to kill a nigger.

>> No.13161227

>>13158267
car washes with like LED lightshows/music so the niggas kids always make they cuck parents come back there

>> No.13161242

Not even joking, I've dealt with homosexual urges since I was a teenager but ever since quitting porn 5 days ago, they've almost completely vanished. I unironically want to suck on those nipples and impregnate her. Wtf, i thought homosexuality was nature and not nurture.

>> No.13161292

A weed smoke lounge staffed by college age girls in an establishment set up like a Korean karaoke spot with private booths with couches, on demand streaming services/all consoles this generation+last 2, in house kitchen serving locally sourced munchies with a communal area with a bunch of couches and bongs and live plants/chill music going. I'm gonna do this when I make it with crypto

>> No.13161301

>>13158916
The femanazis of America would never let this happen in U.S.

>> No.13161309
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13161309

>>13161242
You're still a faggot, anon

>> No.13161327

>>13161309
I know what you are but what am I

>> No.13161397

>>13158540
>then you steralize them
Hopefully you mean the customers

>> No.13161521

>>13161211
What if we merge your nigger hostel idea with my peebottle idea.
Basically ppl pay to throw old, awfully smelly peebottle at niggers. Then they have to pay an extra to kill the niggers themselves afterward with the weapon of their choice (by default it will be with a barbed mace), otherwise we, as owners, take the privilege of killing the nogs.

>> No.13161664

>>13161521
Everyone wants to kill niggers but I doubt that you can make this an activity that everyone can afford to do on a daily basis

>> No.13161698

>>13159971
Okay, now this is epic

>> No.13161783

>>13160480
doesn't work, supermarket is labor intensive and dirty

you cant do any job at a supermarket, not even bagging (and thus running carts) in heels in a bikini

>> No.13161796

>>13161664
it's more of a weekend excursion type of venue
bring a friend, bring a date, take a selfie with the piss-soaked nigger you killed with a mace

>> No.13161903

>>13158274
I literally did this in Thailand. Look up blowjob bars.

>> No.13161950

>>13161292
This has a ton of potential but you’re gonna going to have to work around insanely restrictive zoning laws and motherfuckers getting high and staying all damn day without buying anything.

>> No.13161995

>>13158307
fuckin' thank you.

>>13158502
they smell like nothing. flesh. get a fit clean wife. have standards for your health and your SO's health.

>>13159640
have bidet. how did japan get this from the US but the US can't get it back from japan? it's so nice.

>> No.13162216

>>13161292
Is there a cover fee for a place like this, or is it just based off sales?

>> No.13162331

>>13158267
Bikini coffee shops aren't a thing because it's mostly women attending coffee shops, and they hate hate hate seeing a sexy girl in little clothes, gives them feelings of inferiority

>> No.13162363

>>13158267

bikini weed dispensary

>> No.13162397

>>13161301
>The femanazis of America would never let this happen in U.S.

What if there were chairs that vibrated for the ladies? Like a massage chair but more targeted. It seems to me, women like their paid sex best when it has a thin layer of respectable non-sexual reason to exist. Like massage therapy or chiropractic.

>> No.13162439

>>13159603
Costs are too high. Are u a fuckin boomer? Physical retail is dying gramps

>> No.13162487

>>13161292

That’s called a house anon. A house with dudes that can actually pull chicks once in a while. You could live that everyday without a bunch of grubby sticky hands touching your shit.

>> No.13162505

reverse prostitution...

>> No.13162632

>>13162505
wtf is that?

>> No.13162646

>>13162632
its where fat, ugly losers pay women not to fuck them

it is actually an amazingly successful business so far, and over saturated

see: findom , instathots, private snapchat culture, thot-audit