/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.12979751]

What are the biggest lessons you have learned in the corporate world?

[Anonymous No.12979767]

>>12979751
If noone mentions the work you've done, you've done it good.

[Anonymous No.12979772]

thinking outside the box

[Anonymous No.12979790]

Acting like you're busy is just as good if not better than actually doing something useful

[Anonymous No.12980058]

Everyone is faking it. Everyone is pretending they do more work than they actually do. Success in this world is more about what you can make others believe rather than what's actually the case.

[Anonymous No.12980066]

>>12979751
Fake it til' you make it.

[Anonymous No.12980098]

Nobody really gives a fuck about you

[Anonymous No.12980196]

>>12979790
Actually doing sth useful from time to time helps pretending being super busy at other times.

[Anonymous No.12980210]

>>12979751

You will lose your soul & burn-outs are real.

[Anonymous No.12980214]

The only way you can befriend someone is to select someone either far below you or far above you.

[Anonymous No.12980217]

>>12980058
yep. Keeping an appearance is 50% of the work. You get payed money not only for the work you do but are expected to be trusted, show up on time and fit into your ((role)).

[Anonymous No.12980219]

Don't trust bald people

[Anonymous No.12980222]

>>12979751
>just be yourself

[Anonymous No.12980237]

>>12979751

Not to take stuff personally and be professional
Also follow processes and chain of command

[Anonymous No.12980266]

>>12979751
Don't ever trust your co-workers with anything other than work related stuff, everyone is out for themselves.

Don't gossip, but listen. All gossip comes at the expense of someone.

Don't ever lose your temper and be professional.

[Anonymous No.12980278]

>>12979751
Always poop on company time

[Anonymous No.12980282]

>>12979751
>Do as little as possible actual work
>Be as assertive as possible
>Always talk when there is a change
>Dont show weakness at work ever
>There is no friends in corporative, if someone is nice they want something from you or are below you in hierarcy
>Make sure you have males around and under you working and zero women

[Anonymous No.12980289]

People are irrational, unempathetic and scary.

[Anonymous No.12980401]

>>12980282
>Make sure you have males around and under you working and zero women
Why?

[Anonymous No.12980510]

>>12979751
> everyone is an ant and replaceable at every time
> people are fighting against their peers while licking their bosses ass holes
> team means a group of people works at the same time but not together
> being a wagie is dull and lame but being without regular income fucks you up
> a break in your job history (longer than half a year) makes it really hard to get hired again
> do what you like and don't be afraid to ask for task you like more

[Anonymous No.12980596]

>>12979751
Nobody knows what they are doing.

[Anonymous No.12980620]

its all bullshit and the owner will fuck you over so they can buy a fleet of solid gold yachts

[Anonymous No.12980677]

>>12979751
Doing the needful.

[Anonymous No.12980685]

> a break in your job history (longer than half a year) makes it really hard to get hired again
so much this
>made redundant
>already mid buying house and renovating it top to bottom
>spend months doing diy and getting place liveable
>finally finish after shitloads of trouble and hassle
>apply for jobs
>"pleae explain the cv gap"
>moved and rennovated house
>"... i see. we'll get back to you about your application. bye"

[Anonymous No.12980703]

meetings
meetings
SO MANY FUCKING MEETINGS
you're worth what you make it seem you're worth
you're either the boss or human garbage

[Anonymous No.12980722]

Most of the stuff you spend hours talking about and making wanky strategies in PowerPoint never actually happen. Unless you have a delivery focused role, it's just made up guff.

[Anonymous No.12980802]

If you can learn how to navigate corporate bureaucracy and backstabbing politics to get shit done, that skill will make you unstoppable in other jobs. It's stressful, though, so don't deal with it for too long.

[Anonymous No.12980870]

>>12980802
>join company
>10 years later only me and 1 person remain from when started
>every other position given boot or left sometimes multiple times
>promoted up 3 levels from pleb to manager
>made redundant to "offshore option to compete in modern business" or someother bullshit
>did house up fpr mamy many months
>gap in cv means trouble getting new job
im this close | - - | to just saying fuck it and getting a job in a warehouse to pay the bills but i bet i wont be able to get that either because i dont have enough experience putting crap on shelves

cunts

[Anonymous No.12980879]

Don't pitch the bitch.

[Anonymous No.12980891]

>>12980870
what job did you do?

[Anonymous No.12980895]

>>12979751

That the world isn't as meritocratic as we've been taught at a young age. That the lessons of, "Work Hard and you'll be rewarded" was only relevant in the post-war boom years.

We were led to believe that we live in a fair and equitable world and that evil is something foreign and to be fought against, instead evil became something that is lurking among us every waking moment and that we must work with it to survive rather than fight against it.

[Anonymous No.12980903]

>>12980891
worked for a large multinational media company

[Anonymous No.12980917]

>>12980903
>>12980903
what did you do there?

[Anonymous No.12980927]

>>12980685
>> a break in your job history (longer than half a year) makes it really hard to get hired again

Seriously? Why is this such an issue with employers?

[Anonymous No.12980948]

>>12979751
Professionals do not speak to you as themselves. They try to seem like they are themselves but are hiding any social contract, they might otherwise subscribe to, behind corporate culture and duty.

Never afford a corporate type the same discretion you might a full human being.

The sooner you abandon your sensibilities and social discomfort, the sooner things will start going right.

[Anonymous No.12980953]

>>12980927
getting a job is like banging roasties. if womynz don't see other womynz pining after you, they're not interested because something must be wrong with you. it's called social proof.

[Anonymous No.12980957]

>>12980917
pleb cash posting, invoice data entry to begin with
leading the team, amending procedures, reporting to vice presidents at the end

[Anonymous No.12980959]

>>12979751

> First impression is everything
> Don't work too hard, but don't do too little. Be in the middle
> You are always expendable. The moment it becomes not profitable for you to be there, you're fired.
> The right moves at the right times are everything. Float by then make your move when the perfect opportunity comes along.

[Anonymous No.12980967]

>>12980948
why does everyone buy into and play this sick game?

[Anonymous No.12980971]

>>12980401

They usually are
> slow
> lower quality work
> look for opportunities to socially manipulate things into their favor

[Anonymous No.12980975]

>>12980927
>>12980953

This. Dor the average retard it takes too much brain power to figure out things for themselves so they just copy other people's opinions and actions. Monkey see monkey do.

[Anonymous No.12980989]

>>12980957
thats fucked they booted you despite your 10 years of service. but apparently corporations are ruthless when it comes to cutting/outsourcing jobs to increase the bottom line. i havent entered the workforce yet but i think going in with the mindset that no matter how much of my life I give to the company, they wouldn't think twice about replacing me with AI or some guy oversees that'll work for 1/100th of what I get paid. hopefully this cuck mindset will make it sting less. what happened to the other guy?

[Anonymous No.12980990]

>>12980870
You will do well mate, '3 levels from plev to manager's made me laugh loads for some reason

[Anonymous No.12981004]

>>12980927
shows lack of effort on your part
what i know now is i should have stayed paying rent to someone else in property, left the house as a shithole and paid mortgage on and also hired professionals to renovate the place, bankrupting myself in the meantime because otherwise i have a gap in my cv and thats unacceptable when trying to get a job
live and learn i guess

yes, i am seething

[Anonymous No.12981025]

>>12980990
assistant pleb
pleb
senior pleb
pleb manager

[Anonymous No.12981041]

>>12980967
It's seared in during MBA networking and education. It's literally the leg up they have on everyone else and allows them to run a little cabal where the company's social and fiscal capital pools. It turns out that behaving this way exploits greater efficiencies in the remaining 90+% of the rest of the company.

If you don't buy in, you are not following "best practices" and so are never let into the club. It's about supporting narratives.

You buy into it for the same reason you buy into any fellowship. You don't change it because the people who see it before signing up have either been groomed or are sociopathic/psychopathic and extremely astute. The idealistic, astute types do academic research or something similarly intellectual and aesthetic.

[Anonymous No.12981062]

>>12980927
a recruiter told me they see gaps as a lack of effort on the employee's part. they want people that will devote themselves entirely to work. your ability to live without work makes them think you're not entirely at their mercy and can just jump ship whenever you feel like it. reducing the amount of time it takes to replace employees that were fired saves a shit ton of money too. so they focus on hiring people that have the least probability of leaving on short notice.

[Anonymous No.12981072]

People in upper management (think VP and C-level) are cut from a completely different cloth than everyone else. And not necessarily in a good way.

[Anonymous No.12981090]

>>12980967
Honestly, just learn their jargon, play the sick game back at them and insist that you are fucking them because if you didn't, the company would suffer without the utility you are bringing. They won't take it personally and may even let you in.

I got "let into" my company after a similar, soul killing path. I knew I was in after I started being part of the "where the bodies are buried" stuff. I started out in web, moved to data, and have done some grey to black things, but started outside of the "cabal".

[Anonymous No.12981100]

>>12981072
Care to explain further?

[Anonymous No.12981121]

>>12981090
fair enough. I've done it. it killed me inside. burnt out and quit. I can't keep doing it. but you do you anon. do what's best for you. you're going to make it. not sure I will though.

[Anonymous No.12981140]

>>12980971
and looking for a way to pin harassment on you

[Anonymous No.12981142]

>>12980967

Business and war follow the same rules. You can't show the other guy your hand or he will just take advantage of you.

"Dog eat dog" my friend.

[Anonymous No.12981179]

>>12981142
Doggy dog world.

[Anonymous No.12981188]

Being in IT, you are not ever appreciated, even when you save people's asses. And they just view you as a liability, pay wise

[Anonymous No.12981190]

>>12979751
>What are the biggest lessons you have learned in the corporate world?
HR is there to protect the company. They are not your friends.
The biggest assholes set the pace for everyone else. Expect the big company bullshit even if you aren't working at a place that can pay the big company paycheck.
Management will do everything in their power possible to dick around with employees. If you have enough seniority, you can read them riot act. They're still going to try it.
Getting a job offer for a real position is a bitch if you're in a crowded position. Watching /g/-tards cry about their useless CS degree is a cold comfort when I can't break free of my fukken position even with years of experience. Good ahead and tell me the job market for software devs is great :^)

[Anonymous No.12981197]

>>12981100
Cohort 1 is groomed for it by their parent's network. They will never understand the lives of the labour under them.

Cohort 2 is smart people who have some level of psychopathy or sociopathy. They figure out who's at the top and work their asses off to find the right contacts and do the right schooling. Normal people who are this driven and intelligent do academics. People who aren't smart and do this path fail into accounting or middle management.

Cohort 3 is startup people who make it, are smart enough to understand what they are looking at and take on a role that let's them compartmentalize who they actually are from what they must be. Not everyone can do this. Many sell their stake.

They are cut from different cloth.

[Anonymous No.12981221]

>>12981121
I've compartmentalized a lot. If I get to FIRE, I will be decompressing for years.

[Anonymous No.12981272]

>>12981197
Thanks, based anon.

>>12981221
How do you compartmentalize? I've pretty much identified that I'm at an impasse professionally and am deciding if I want to down the "soul killing" path.

[Anonymous No.12981295]

I suck dick for money

[Anonymous No.12981304]

>>12981295
good for you
its a growing industry
har har har

[Anonymous No.12981342]

People are always watching and judging. Anytime you call in sick or look at your phone is noted by your coworkers. Its easy to become "that lazy guy" if you call in more than your coworkers think you should. If you make a bad impression on your boss at any point you're probably never going to get out of the hole. Once they don't like you, everything you do is wrong even if its something completely out of your control. Have a coworker who pissed of the boss who has a bad knee. Now anytime the boss sees him limp past they make fun of him for it just out of earshot. There's no coming back from that.

[Anonymous No.12981343]

>>12979751
read rich dad, poor dad?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5FVFsG8NmI

[Anonymous No.12981401]

>>12981272
I've done a lot of cognitive behavioural therapy to learn to identify emotional stressors and begin a rhetorical argument with myself to condition myself away from the reacting. Over time, you can do a leap of faith and just run with your own dogma. I have one line of dogma for a character I play professionally. After enough time, I have conditioned myself to be myself in my private life and have made my character part of my job. The cognitive behavioural therapy has made the character less stressful to be.

The leap of faith is important though. The rhetorical process needs to be embraced as truth or your authenticity will eat you alive.

Past that, applying the same principles to condition yourself to not think about work until you enter the building or are in the presence of certain people.

[Anonymous No.12981403]

>>12981343
lmao
>listening to aspirational "business guru" charlatans
>I have the formula to be rich, just pay me inordinate amounts of money so I can teach you

[Anonymous No.12981407]

Lol this thread is just sad. Is American corporate culture really so cut throat?

My Australian experience has mostly been with groups of people who are focused on working well as a team. They genuinely have each other’s backs and really everyone just wants to make it to Friday to have a few drinks and enjoy a weekend.

I am good friends with most of my co-workers and we tend to talk openly about our personal lives (to the extent that it is not over sharing)

t. Pooping on company time

[Anonymous No.12981476]

1. In meetings, Look nice and talk smart
2. Chase the tangible value projects. If the thing you are working on does not bring money, nobody cares. If you see an opportunity to claim some value, do so. Other ppl might do something, but if you can claim their result as yours, do so. Dont forget to calculate how much money it brought
3. Dont do work which does not bring any clear value. E.g. one high level guy wrote an email to ceo ‘we have this unfinished task which could be asigned to anon ((long explanation))’, ceo replied ‘i agree’. Clearly he did not even read the explanation. I never did it, nobody asked never about it.
4. Write an email when its good, call when its bad or you are not sure. Dont let someone to have your email proving that you were wrong
5. Think about consequences of your actions, how will it impact other ppl, what others will do when you do smth. Dont bring bad news or conflicts to top
6. Always keep responsibility to others (I would recommend ... but its your decision as I did not have enough time to get familiar with subject), except when you see that you will be able to claim a nice tangible result to yourself
7. Doing work is important, but presenting what you did matters more. Think about it. Spend some time to prepare

[Anonymous No.12981497]

>>12981407
I'm in Canada. North American culture is like this. It has to do with valuing extroverted leadership. Culturally, we'd rather be in confident hands than capable ones.

[Anonymous No.12981512]

>>12981401
>need to become a literal schizophrenic to survive the corporate world
Sounds about right

[Anonymous No.12981540]

Only ask questions if absolutely necessary. Trying to get something clarified could unintentionally make one of your superiors look bad, and that is something that can make your work life hell.

[Anonymous No.12981544]

>>12981100
>>12981221

A general lack of empathy is usually what allows them to get to that level. This means that if you are genuinely a thoughtful or good person, you simply will not mesh well with these people on a fundamental level unless you are able to compartmentalize. If you cannot find a way, it is best to avoid the company and more importantly, the scrutiny of those people.

Thing is, the ones at the top of the organization are easy to identify as they have the titles. Need to watch out for the ones trying to get there.

[Anonymous No.12981613]

So the corporate world - and that's the bloody thing about the corporate world - that's the place where you need to take on the BIGGEST responsibility that you possibly can. Because life is suffering and only if you take it by the horns, you can find meaning. People think it's about money, ohoh, that's dangerous man, I tell ya. Maybe your boss makes money and spends it on frivolous women and cums down another undergrads throats each weekend - he seeks pleasure but actually he will find quite the opposite! Don't let'cha get you down if you feel like the underdog. Others may slack and put their feet up, but that's BAD idea man. Turn the other cheek, be an example and work work WORK to the brink of cracking. You clean the stage, you make the company dollars and you'll come out laughing. The evidence is clear on that.

[Anonymous No.12981628]

>>12981613
>meanwhile in opposite world

[Anonymous No.12981731]

>>12981544
I should also add that suppressed psycho personalities seem to manifest in odd behaviors and more importantly the physical body. These are the sorts of things I notice just off-hand

- Glassy eyes and white above and/or below the iris

- Strange, forced laughter

- Awkward physical (usually facial) tics in response to hearing something they don't like. Usually happens in meetings

- Irritable bowels

- Awkward full-tooth grins

[Anonymous No.12981748]

>>12981731

[Anonymous No.12981788]

>>12981731
If I had to guess, I'd say the weird optics make them come across as uncanny and maladapted - and not, like your points all list off, the other way around.
tl;dr don't be an ugly person at work (or anywhere else)

[Anonymous No.12981791]

>>12981613
clean your lobster or the chaos will take over bucko

[Anonymous No.12981807]

>>12981731
>Awkward physical (usually facial) tics in response to hearing something they don't like. Usually happens in meetings
how awkward? crinkling a nose is rude and awkward but it indicates disgust. anything weirder than that?
blinking eyes well that's easy and acceptable usually means incredulity / information to process

[Anonymous No.12981866]

>>12981731
Hmmm.

[Anonymous No.12981915]

>>12980927
It's degenerate behavior. At least make up some bullshit about how you went overseas and did missionary work or something.
Never tell them you just did nothing for a solid period of time.

[Anonymous No.12982043]

Socially fitting in is far more important than doing any actual work. If you’re a mid level manager this is critical, actually working hard makes you a threat to others.

[Anonymous No.12982560]

>>12981401

[Anonymous No.12982685]

The only way to move up in the hierarchy is by sucking Satan’s dick all day, everyday.
There are better ways to live.

[Anonymous No.12982700]

>>12982685
Suck dick for Satan, man
Peace out

[Anonymous No.12982720]

>>12979767
that sounds retarded. You have to brag about your work constantly in the corporate world. There are people who only steal others work and present it or brag about it and they get the credit for it.

[Anonymous No.12982766]

>>12981062
I think this is true. They may not be doing it consciously, or it may just be corporate policy. I don't understand the "work constantly until you retire mentality." The who point of innovation is to do less work. How about that 3 day work everyone was talking about in the 70s? Am I right hue hue.Fucking kill me, pic unrelated.

[Anonymous No.12982814]

>>12981497
wise words anon

[Anonymous No.12982817]

>>12980927
Shitty employers like to do dodgy shit like not give paid leave.
Or they're paranoid and think you're gonna fuck off to Burning Man without any notice.
Either way it stems from them not having a life or hobbies of their own.

[Anonymous No.12982897]

>>12979751
Fuck women, but not literally

[Anonymous No.12982953]

>>12981342
sounds like prison.

[2 scoops !!DU22SQMj6dQ No.12982963]

>>12979767
That's not true.
That means that you're not doing "high visibility" work.
It's not good if nobody knows what you've done.

>>12980237
Wtf does it mean to follow chain of command?
You mean, like, do what your fucking boss tells you to do? Yeah. That's pretty fucking important.

>>12980266
This is very true. Your co-workers are not your friends. You have to pretend to be their friends, but they are definitely not your friends.
>Don't ever lose your temper
That sounds like a very hard lesson learned

>>12980282
>Always talk when there is a change
Why?

>>12980879
>Don't pitch the bitch.
What does this mean?
Don't hype a chick up to your company?

>>12980895
This is true. Even big tech companies aren't as meritocratic as they appear.

>>12980953
This is actually very true, and I've never thought of it like that before.
>social proof
Noted.

>>12980959
Pretty fucking woke.
>The right moves at the right times are everything.
How do you know when the right time is?
And what kind of moves are we talking about here?

>>12979751
Technical skills just get you in the door. People skills / soft skills are how you stay, get good performance reviews, and get promoted.
>Nepotism (soft / people skill) will certainly get your foot in the door for an interview
>the interviewer also has to like you (soft / people skill)
>The interviewer does have to believe that you can do the job (technical skill)
>You do actually have to do your job (technical skill)
>But your manager and peers determine whether you're doing it well and whether you should be promoted (soft / people skill)

[Anonymous No.12983060]

>>12979751
be female
and
be ready to give sexual favors

[Anonymous No.12983417]

>>12980278
this

[Anonymous No.12983476]

>>12980948
>Professionals do not speak to you as themselves. They try to seem like they are themselves but are hiding any social contract, they might otherwise subscribe to, behind corporate culture and duty.

This.

I made this mistake when I started out as a naive 22 year old when the HR lady asked me if I liked working there and I said how my manager doesn't treat me fairly.

Then I got put on an employee improvement program and my manager apologizing for his shit treatment and telling me I can confide in him on how he could improve. He never gave proper instructions how to do things and made many mistakes that made our operations less productive.

He written me off whenever I made a mistake and told me in the nicest way possible that I didn't listen to his instructions properly and that I was careless.

Fuck this world.

[Anonymous No.12983625]

>>12980927
>/biz/ anons who are honest.
haven't had a steady job for 5 years. Resume says i've been at each of my previous firms for +1-3 years. They've never checked.

>>12981497
>Culturally, we'd rather be in confident hands than capable ones.
based.

Never complain to HR- If you have a problem figure it out with your manager. If you still can't figure it out then start looking for a new position/job.

If you start getting harassed in verbal or nonverbal way. Start documenting those instances to your manager. Get coworker who will stand by your work. In essence, build your case so you can fight a big nasty lawsuit.

never sleep around with co workers.

[Anonymous No.12983635]

>>12979751
allways put your name on the sandwitch

[Anonymous No.12983680]

>>12983476
HR is the vehicle through which satan enters this world

[Anonymous No.12983760]

>>12981342

Sad.

It's not about impressing your boss. It's about the people around your boss. When you successfully manipulate those around him, he's forced to change his opinion or he's an outcast.

That's why you make good with women, cause they manipulate, talk, and gossip on their own. They'll do the work for you. And when you get in good with the women who's the top bitch. Talk about comfy.

[Anonymous No.12983769]

>>12983760

t. Men are the real manipulators.

[Anonymous No.12984188]

>>12979751
Working as an external contractor is much worse than any fixed job on an internal position if you are not an expert in your field . You have to work 10 times harder than internal workers while being treated like actual dirt. You get paid a little more than normal which is absolutely not worth. Find a company that will support you long term.

[Anonymous No.12984206]

>>12983476
I always found it funny when middle managers would try to coax me into complaining about my job. I could see right through it, and how a more naive person would fall for it.
They've got it down to a science.

[Anonymous No.12984222]

>>12979767
This is retarded. It’s the other way around

t. 12 years in the corporate world

[Anonymous No.12984456]

>>12980685
SImply lie in your CV.

[Anonymous No.12984535]

>>12980895
Nice try zoomer.

[Anonymous No.12984539]

>>12984206
What is there to gain from getting you to complain about job?

[Anonymous No.12984548]

>>12984456
Absolutely. If employers are going to be merciless cunts about the fact you haven't waged slaved for every waking minute just lie on your CV. Fuck them.

[Anonymous No.12984558]

>>12984539
It means they view you as a trouble maker. they are trying to get you to dig your own grave to fire you

[Anonymous No.12984599]

>>12981497
Explains a lot about the succession of idiots you guys have had for political leaders

[Anonymous No.12984616]

Like 80-90 % of the wagies in India don't work at all/most of the time. They're all pretending

[Anonymous No.12984629]

>>12984616
this is the case anywhere in the world
"work" is glorified daycare for adults

[Anonymous No.12984651]

>>12984558
Oof thanks fren makes sense will stay sharp with that

[Anonymous No.12984673]

>>12984616
That explains the shit they produce

[Anonymous No.12984678]

>>12980282
>>Make sure you have males around and under you working and zero women
So much this. The feminists are always complaining about their conspiracy theory about the patriarchy. Well guess what, we're going to manifest it since you're going to pin it on us anyway.

[Anonymous No.12984826]

>>12984206
>>12984558

Had a survey on my satisfaction with my job and my bosses performance.

Didn't even read, 5/5 on everything. Your bosses bosses bosses boss needs those numbers to be high so they can give a favorable report to their boss/evaluators. Don't bitch about shit, just leave when you need to.

[Anonymous No.12984891]

>>12984678
That's the point of all this. Women want manly men who don't give a fuck.

[Anonymous No.12985051]

1. Never outshine your boss or whoever is in charge of you.

2. When the opportunity presents itself, get others to do work for you but take the credit yourself. I.E. Getting interns to help complete repetitive mundane tasks while you fucus on higher level work. Time is money. The faster you complete something the quicker you'll get a promotion.

[Anonymous No.12985492]

>>12984826

Are you an absolute cuck?

I quit my job a few weeks ago and have 2 months off. I came in mid-management level but soon realised the place was a fucking shitshow. After a year of unpaid overtime, having work dumped on me, no appreciation, I set out to sabotage the shit out of that company.

First I spread disorder amongst the lower ranks and got them all on my side. We were the ones who stayed late each night. One bro quit for a new job on short notice, that was the first warning shot. Then I started to undermine my immediate manager infront of his staff. Everyone hated him due to micromanagement and narcissim, but he couldn't fire me since my bro quit and there was too much work.

I managed to humiliate him infront of staff so much he left me alone and came down harder on them. He made two female team members cry. One golden girl started applying elsewhere and was so dumb she applied for her own damn job (advertisement for the guy who quit). This made him lose face infront of his bosses.

I then found a new job, handed in notice at peak busy period. Blasted them all over Glassdoor, got my bro who quit to blast them on Glassdoor. I go out for beers with some of the grunts still and I am convincing them to quit, two are looking elsewhere now.

I also have a lot of my old clients on LinkedIn and they ask why I left. I tell them that the company is a shitshow and they should take their business elsewhere. Bro who quit before me already poached some clients.

You need to fucking be ruthless against these cunts.

[Anonymous No.12985533]

>>12979751
. Bullshit

[Anonymous No.12985785]

>>12981731
I do those things sometimes if im not paying attention but i have asbergers. Its not because im psychotic.

[Anonymous No.12985795]

>>12985492

BASED AND REDPILLED

[Anonymous No.12985805]

>>12985051
wrong advice lol

i got my new role by being better than my former boss...

[Anonymous No.12985817]

Nothing you ever do will be enough

[Anonymous No.12985823]

>>12985533
>tfw lazy genius

[Anonymous No.12985840]

>>12979767
that only applies for certain things like IT, support etc.

[Anonymous No.12985842]

Reading this thread is making me want to kill myself.

[Anonymous No.12985885]

>>12979751
>bittrex launched bitsdaq a new exchange for asia to compete with binance
>they are giving away 20k BXBC tokes for free
>Its guaranteed to go to $1 at least
>he isn't signing up
>literally getting $20k usd for signing up with a throwaway email

don't be a retard, binance airdropped me 1000 bnb and i sold at $3, this is giving me the same vibe.

OLS0B0GC use this code to get 2000 extra tokens.

[Anonymous No.12985922]

>>12979751
learn Excel

[Anonymous No.12985926]

>>12985885
>report
>this post is offering free money
b a i (;

[Anonymous No.12985948]

Reading this thread is making me want to kill myself.

All of your superiors are fake sociopaths whose life revolves around doing their job robotically day in day out, being social butterflies to the competition they are trying to crush. The lower level employees are less advanced sociopaths compared to their superiors but they are all sociopaths in training, pretending to get along with others while stealing credit from their coworkers. Never do more or less than what is required of you unless doing more will be highly visible and get upper managrment to notice you. Being a likable guy is the most important thing besides doing what is required. Learn to get others blamed for your fuckups and make sure your fuck ups can never be traced back to you. The higher you go the more others will view you as a threat and try to take you down any chance they get.

And a million other survival of tge fittest tips.

[Anonymous No.12985990]

>>12985948
Reading this thread is making me feel comfy as fuck. Neet life for life

[Anonymous No.12985995]

>>12985948
this

[Anonymous No.12986130]

MY BIGGEST FUCKING PEEVE IS OFFICE JARGON

ITS LITERALLY A ZOOMER TAX IMPOSED BY BOOMERS

ITS SO FUCKING CRINGE EVERYTIME I HEAR 'hey lets touch base later and circle back on the helicopter issue here, lets not try and reinvent the wheel! we need to apply guerilla tactics here"

I DONT WANT TO FUCKING USE BUZZWORDS TO SOUND SMARTER

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[Anonymous No.12986328]

>>12986130
John. My office, NOW.

[Anonymous No.12986400]

>>12981731

>my normie gf at work in one post
lol this is true, it's usually because normies are uncomfortable and overthink everything. They get nervous and can't control their emotions when they hear something they disagree with.

- Awkward physical (usually facial) tics in response to hearing something they don't like. Usually happens in meetings

this is an expression of how they are in politics too. people cant save face anymore and even when confronted with their problem don't attempt to hide their emotional responses

[Anonymous No.12986427]

>>12981731
>tfw reading this glassy eyed while shitting

[Anonymous No.12986436]

reading this thread is funny. obviously not many successful people on /biz/, how shocking

[Anonymous No.12986625]

>>12985805
You're an anomaly.

[Anonymous No.12986642]

>>12986436
>successful
>wagie

pick one

[Anonymous No.12986775]

>>12981025

fucking rofl

[Anonymous No.12986783]

>>12981090

Do you work for one of the big 4?

[Anonymous No.12986786]

>>12980927
>half a year
try four years

[Anonymous No.12986809]

>>12981748

There's nothing more disgusting than a neo-liberal who's "for the people".... lmao

[Anonymous No.12986842]

>>12979767
It means you did work no one gives a shit about well enough that it didn't become a problem, as expected. You will gain 0 favor from this. You want work with high visibility, though it carries the risk of you sucking and people noticing that.

[Anonymous No.12986843]

>>12979751
>biggest lessons you have learned in the corporate world
was getting self employed
earning now twice the wage and being my own boss, only downside is I have to work more but would rather do it for myself than some disgusting incompetent "manager"

all those coporate managers are hot air talking knobheads with some useless memegment degrees- its always the engineers doing the big thinking and not some business School airhead

[Anonymous No.12986854]

>>12985492

You might have just gained short term satisfaction without considering the long term consequences of your actions. If you work in a small industry your name will get around whether you like it or not. You let your anger control you and made unsound tactical decisions. You've put a mark on yourself whether you realized it or not.

> The Art of War

[Anonymous No.12986858]

Succ dicc.
Don't do any thing you aren't asked for. In best it is unpaid work. At worst it will backfire.
Keep record of everything written.
Don't ask too many questions.
Hide power level at all cost.
Don't participate in chit chats.

[Anonymous No.12986879]

>>12986854

I've moved from a smaller firm to an even bigger firm with much higher revenue and stronger contacts.

Every client that I talk to now that asks what firm I came from, I will subtly shitalk them. They took a year of my life and made it hell so I will make theirs hell. Next step, putting in a complait to their regulatory authority for all the fudge shit they do that I have documentary evidence of.

[Anonymous No.12986901]

>>12980401
Because of this https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1168182/Catfights-handbags-tears-toilets-When-producer-launched-women-TV-company-thought-shed-kissed-goodbye-conflict-.html

[Anonymous No.12986968]

>>12981731
>reddit spacing
GTFO you corporate cocksucker. I'd bet $2 you're in HR you leach

[Anonymous No.12986982]

>>12979767
>gets laid off

[Anonymous No.12986987]

suck dick

[Anonymous No.12986991]

>>12979751
kneepads especially on carpet

[Anonymous No.12987001]

i don't want to do any of this anons. im sticking with small offices.

[Anonymous No.12987023]

Nobody is your friend, start digging everyone's grave behind their back

[Anonymous No.12987363]

>>12986982
>paid vacation
don't threaten me with a good time

[Anonymous No.12987396]

>>12980953
this. you should interview for jobs while your at one job. its easier to get another girlfriend when you already have a girlfriend. its like gold, many dont want it but everyone wants it because it has social proof

[Anonymous No.12987693]

Nobody gives a fuck about you and will try and take everything you own for nothing

[Anonymous No.12987861]

>>12986854
You sound like a beta male.

[Anonymous No.12988413]

>>12979751
The Peter principle (google it) is fucking real.

[Anonymous No.12988453]

>>12988413
>The "Peter Principle" is therefore expressed as: "In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence."[3] This leads to Peter's Corollary: "In time, every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its duties."[4] Hull calls the study of how hierarchies work "hierarchiology."

Boomer shit

[Anonymous No.12988482]

With Jews you lose

[Anonymous No.12988500]

>>12986809
Good thing she's not a neo-liberal

[Anonymous No.12988858]

>>12985492

I did about the same at my first company. Had one foot out the door and got canned/blacklisted. Was in chemistry so my first mistake was my major. My second mistake was specializing in a niche.

I'm in finance right now and truth be told, I have nothing to complain about at my firm. My boss is actually competent and can do my job better than me. So maybe I'm a bit skewed in opinion here but I'm going to play the game, and be allot more cautious.

[Anonymous No.12988871]

>>12979751
This thread makes me want to fucking kill myself. I hate the world we live in. I hate America. I hate Capitalism. I hate every one of you fucking obedient cowards who sit in your jobs and do a shitty job at it, waste time, waste money, keep jobs and power away from people who could actually do a better job, etc.

It's really too bad that no one has killed you fucking people. I really mean it, each of you deserves torture and death at the hands of everyone you've harmed.

[Anonymous No.12988922]

>>12988871
lol, we don't care, now kill yourself

[Anonymous No.12988932]

>>12988871
You must be an adult to post on this site. Go gather a few friends who think like you what you think it's right and I guarantee you'll work twice as hard to get 1/10 the quality of life of society

[Anonymous No.12988958]

>>12988871

Based on everything thing you said, you can't do any of our jobs which is why you don't have them. And yes, I do want fries with that.

[Anonymous No.12989022]

A new manager at my last job would intentionally aggravate people until they misbehaved and she could fire them.

My lesson i took from that is to not be the aggressor.

And if you're suffering from any family or health issues and aren't looking to advance, you have every right to lever those in your favour. But don't milk it. That only works if your manager likes you.

[Anonymous No.12989082]

If you live for your job, you’re going to forget to truly live. A job is a way of getting money. Nothing more. Find ways to invest your money so you won’t need your job after a few years. Crypto is your best shot right now.

[Anonymous No.12989098]

>>12989082
Yet unless you have enough money to retire you can never stop working simply because gaps in your resume aren't allowed.

[Anonymous No.12989415]

>>12989098

I find that the way to deal with the problem of having gaps in your resume is to try to have as an endgame a part time job or trying to scale down the number of hours you work in a week as much as possible. Let's call this a "partial retirement".

[Anonymous No.12989514]

>>12980214
Shit i feel you frogposter

[Anonymous No.12989550]

>>12979767
I think this post is supposed to mean that if you did good work, then everyone else will try to take the credit for it.

[Anonymous No.12989966]

>>12986786

For fucks sake MAKE UP A FAMILY BUSINESS YOU WORKED FOR.

Granny dearest sold pies I was the general manager I handled everything it was a 2 million dollar company - oh she kicked the bucket and took the pie recipes to the grave ha ha so I’m hired right

[Anonymous No.12990019]

>>12979751
You get away with the most bizarre shit because you are an corp.
I have delivered big products that are basically faulty in a non so special case and we needed only to replace about 10% of them

[Anonymous No.12990101]

>>12986328
>Starts grilling you in front of everyone
Based open office cubicles

[Anonymous No.12990186]

1. Many people are short-sighted, greedy fucks who have no vision and whose ambitions extend only to the short term.
2. Backstabbing is an omnipresent reality.
3. Ideas and information are the most valuable products, and countries with rampant IP theft may as well be Somalia in the next ten or twenty years because nobody reputable will do business there or with any entity connected to those places and international sanctions are pending.

[Anonymous No.12990585]

>>12981403
Well they are technically not wrong, it's just not you who's getting rich.

[Anonymous No.12990760]

>>12979751
Reading this thread makes me happy I don't live in the shithole corporate mad world called USA. Working in a small country and small firm in Europe is so much better.

[Anonymous No.12990912]

>>12980685
being this retarded

[Anonymous No.12990957]

>>12981025
kek

[Anonymous No.12990986]

>>12980219
Unironically this.

[Anonymous No.12990999]

>>12980219
>>12990986
Why?

[Anonymous No.12991015]

>>12990999
Just don't do it. Or do, and find out the hard way.

[Anonymous No.12991016]

>>12990999
Jews are bald

[Anonymous No.12991052]

>>12981342
>slacker detected
also kind of true

[Anonymous No.12991131]

>>12983635
underrated

[Anonymous No.12991324]

>>12979751
Never ever tell anyone at work your positive HIV status. Every time you go to work with a cold sore they think it's a lesion and some people start avoiding you in the kitchen and showering area. Keep control of all your physical medical records in the workplace and don't read doctors letters or test results at your desk or on your screen. Keep your lifestyle separate from work.

[Anonymous No.12991353]

>>12991324
I would normally say kys but if you're not trolling (and I really truly hope you're not) that'll take care of itself.

[Anonymous No.12992287]

>>12980219
>just recently shaved my head despite not balding

[Anonymous No.12992324]

>>12988453
it isn’t shit. people get promoted until they can be promoted no further— it is there they stay and calcify

[Anonymous No.12992361]

>>12992324
That assumes that competent people always get promoted, and it assumes incompetent can't make linear moves to somewhere where they're more competent or can bullshit better

[Anonymous No.12992626]

Been there done that, just follow those steps and you should be ok
However keep in mind that shit wears people down quickly as fuck unless you are happy with being bottom pleb, I have done that for almost 13 years and had to quit

Don't give single fucks about other people, be cold blooded af and show it to people up the chain but for people below try to be warm within reason
Don't stick your neck out for other ppl unless you have more to gain than to lose
Try to not make enemies, but don't go up ppl assholes either
If you have a great idea that will save your employer/customer a lot money, make sure you are going to get credit for that and bonus out of it
Always think about all fucking possibilities before making any move
Never fully trust anyone, and don't run your fucking mouth
Making employer more money>making more friends
NEVER FUCKING EVER TALK ABOUT HOW YOU FUCKED SOMEBODY OVER

[Anonymous No.12992685]

>>12980214
dam
tru tho

[Anonymous No.12992736]

Work at a smaller firm. It's worth the sacrifice in reputation to avoid some of the throat cutting. It will still exist, but the reduced prestige and pay will be worth it in the long run. Just my 2 cents

[Anonymous No.12992850]

>>12985948
Don’t worry fren.
This thread is filled with neets that never worked a day in their lives and doesn’t know shit about what they are talking about.
They keep trying to justify their parasitic lives by spouting bullshits about le evil corporate world in an atempt to feel better about their life choices.

>>12985990
Case in point

[Anonymous No.12993007]

>>12988871
Corporate employees are just milking the system. Pareto principle applies to corporations. 20% of people are producing 80% of the work, the other 80% of people are just sitting their idly, nodding their heads, acting like they are productive, and milking their work. Otherwise, they would have to actually work a real job that involves a private individual giving them money in exchange for a good or service. If they can hide in the umbrella of a "corporation" and its monopolizing and profit generating machine they can live the high life with minimal work involved. That's why corporations are filled with psychopaths and sociopaths. Self employed are the ultimate based and red pilled and are more honest, moral, and successful.

[Anonymous No.12993035]

>>12979751
Its not the smartest or hardest working people that goes the furthest.

[Anonymous No.12993069]

>>12980219
Fuck off dennis

[Anonymous No.12993698]

>>12980196
This motherfucker knows what's up

[Anonymous No.12993780]

I know you really shouldn't do this at a corporate gig but my first job out of college I found a bunch of people my age who like to go to music festivals/lsd/responsibly degenerate. It was an interesting time in life because I was looking for frens but I grew up a little and was lucky I got away with 90% of my retardation there. Had the balls to wear a #MAGA hat election day(fuck that ziocuck tho) and hint to liberals there that I was a nationalist. Now that I'm in a big shot pharma outfit, I know to hide my power level now. Besides, I have all my normie frens, /biz/frens, and LSD that I'll ever need.

[Anonymous No.12993825]

>>12984456
>>12984548
Careful. I had a position on my resume that was completely made up but semi legit cuz my mom's friends brother had a lab that I put down I worked for during a 7 month span where I was jobless. My previous two employers never raised suspicion but this recent one demanded w2's and phone numbers, luckily that 'fake' company actually shut down so I was able to refer them to everything else on my resume. I removed it after I got hired because I don't wanna deal with that shit

[Anonymous No.12994040]

>>12979751

avoid

[Anonymous No.12994159]

>>12979790
Only if no one checks on your work.

[Anonymous No.12994190]

People are capital in corporate. Your coworkers and bosses are not family, and do not ever treat them as anything other than resources for your own advancement/profit

>>12979767
absolutely incorrect, at least in IT

Visibility is most important if you want to get to the VP level

[Anonymous No.12994199]

>>12992626
>NEVER FUCKING EVER TALK ABOUT HOW YOU FUCKED SOMEBODY OVER

This goes under the umbrella of not exposing your negative qualities to other people.

[Anonymous No.12994213]

>>12988871
Lol, you never had a job.

[Anonymous No.12994223]

>>12981197
Trying to fit into Cohort 2, hope I don't fail and fall into middle management

[Anonymous No.12994676]

>>12986130
I also fucking hate this shit. My now exboss was a corporate stooge and I worked a low tier normie wageslave job. You could tell he wasn't a normal person from the way he uses this language. it always creeps me out.