[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / ic / jp / lit / sci / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports ] [ become a patron ] [ status ]

2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/biz/ - Business & Finance

File: 173 KB, 806x595, 30yearoldboomersrexecutive.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Anonymous Tue Jan 15 19:30:30 2019 No.12454471 [Reply] [Original]

Join conference call
>Hello who just joined?
>Hi, its Karl from Business Transformation & Implementation Strategy
>Hi Karl, you're on the line with Deb & Frank from Digital Implementations & Apps, Joe from Digital Transformation, Todd from Midwest Regional Operations, an-
>*beep boop*
>Hello who just joined?
>...
>Hello did someone just join?
>-ah! Sorry, I had my phone on mute. This is Steve from Implementation Analytics, Enterprise Intelligence & Data Science Infrastructure Solutions
>Hi Steve, you're on the line with Karl from Business Transformation & Implementation Strategy, Deb & Frank from Digital Implementations & Apps, Joe fr-
>*beep boop*
>Hello? Who just joined?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 15 19:31:32 2019 No.12454476 >>12454471 try and come up with something original next thread mate x

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 15 19:33:29 2019 No.12454496 >>12454471 Terribly inefficient. Your company sucks.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 15 19:41:41 2019 No.12454581 >>12454471 FUCK YOU FOR MAKING THIS THREAD AND HAVING ME RELIVE MY PAST FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU AHHHHHHHHHH

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 15 19:45:14 2019 No.12454618 I'm just here dropping off these pizzas buddy That'll be $49.95 plus tip

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 15 19:51:03 2019 No.12454668 File: 8 KB, 269x194, 2304239ui242.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12454618 >here you go son, keep the change >beep boop >Hello? did someone just join?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 15 19:52:28 2019 No.12454688 >>12454618 >>12454668 kek

Anonymous Tue Jan 15 20:11:10 2019 No.12454832

>I hear what you're saying Tim, let's take that offline - run the numbers and ping me and we'll get our heads together to identify key deliverables to ensure we meet our value add
>We need to do a deep dive into the low hanging fruit, our ducks are in a row but we just have to dot the i's and cross the t's to reach our North Star
>loving the team synergy lately guys, really feels like we are all singing from the same hymn sheet to hit those KPIs

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 15 20:16:07 2019 No.12454867 >>12454471 GAY and LAME

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 15 20:27:24 2019 No.12454947 >>12454832 TRIGGERED

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 15 20:30:54 2019 No.12454969 >>12454867 >dat ID Confirmed for Onions Goy

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 15 20:33:01 2019 No.12454980 >>12454969 wtf S.oy gets autocorrected to onions now?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 15 20:33:10 2019 No.12454982 >>12454832 the funny thing is that this kind of talking is actually useful and on point

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 15 20:40:54 2019 No.12455031 http://conferencecall.biz/

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 15 21:20:23 2019 No.12455295 >>12454982 how? it sounds like a faggotry circle jerk, when really no one is doing jack shit except sending likes on the thot's instagram who works in the same building for another department. NONE of this is productive.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 15 21:26:52 2019 No.12455340 >>12455031 Holy, this is great. Trying to look at how this was made as a hopeful self-taught developer

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 15 21:29:32 2019 No.12455354 >>12454832 >let’s circle back to that later >we know where we need to go, we just need to buckle down and climb that mountain >insert inane mixed metaphor here Boomers, amirite?

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 15 21:30:43 2019 No.12455360 >>12454980 testing... onions

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 15 21:31:46 2019 No.12455370 >>12455360 holy shit testing basedboy

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 15 21:34:44 2019 No.12455388 I unironically think conference calls are kinda comfy

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 15 21:38:37 2019 No.12455421 >>12455031 I know it's supposed to be, but this is both depressing and hilarious to listen to.

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 15 21:38:56 2019 No.12455426 >>12455388 This, but ironically

Anonymous Tue Jan 15 21:39:18 2019 No.12455428
File: 12 KB, 250x184, 1544052979345.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>*beep boop*
>Hi this is Markus Crisper, Innovation and Technology lead at Bad Dragon LLC
>I have some questions about your proposal to add IoT Cameras to the Bad Dragon line of products. I think this is a great idea. Do you think we can have a lineup of prototypes by COB Next Friday?

Anonymous Tue Jan 15 21:48:47 2019 No.12455509
File: 71 KB, 720x469, 1545294287186.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>Right, so if we can tighten up our margins-
>*beep boop*
>Hello? Who just joined
>"Hi, this is the ghost of Karl Marx. came to tell you that capitalism is bullshit"
>That's great, Karl. Now about those margins

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 15 21:51:08 2019 No.12455521 File: 68 KB, 800x450, 77d.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12454471 FUCKING STOP. I JUST GOT HOME FROM THIS! DELETE!

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 15 21:52:05 2019 No.12455527 File: 115 KB, 750x757, 1546309425972.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12455031

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 15 22:09:39 2019 No.12455662 >>12454668 LMAO

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 15 22:18:14 2019 No.12455721 >>12455031 This is a work of art

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 15 22:27:14 2019 No.12455794 File: 21 KB, 352x352, xhpk1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12455031 >http://conferencecall.biz/

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 15 23:23:52 2019 No.12456176 >>12454471 how can i get one of these jobs with a fancy title where they do nothing but sit in meetings all day? seriously

>>	Anonymous Tue Jan 15 23:26:17 2019 No.12456200 >>12456176 For real I’m trying to get to that point too.

Anonymous Tue Jan 15 23:28:47 2019 No.12456220
File: 156 KB, 1000x1308, d2ffpif-ec2b520f-0ae8-4375-abb1-2a9fdac9950c.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>12454471

Sadly. I was on these calls at my fortuene 500 company. I just had to quit before the laid off the entire department and found my own blockchain company.

Anonymous Tue Jan 15 23:33:08 2019 No.12456270

>>12454982
>the funny thing is that this kind of talking is actually useful and on point
Unironically agree. This is dopey jargon, sure, but it's actually kind of designed to soften the blow

>>12454832
>>I hear what you're saying Tim, let's take that offline
translation "Jesus, Tim, not this shit again. Every time we are trying to get the marketing brochure done you always bring up this same stupid shit and it annoys the fuck out of the other 8 people dealing with this. Let's fucking talk about this later."

- run the numbers and ping me and we'll get our heads together to identify key deliverables to ensure we meet our value add
Translation: "See the thing is, Tim, your idea is stupid and everyone else is convinced that it is going to be a big money loser and waste of time. Also, it sounds pretty vague. So the thing is, as I've now asked you 57 times, let's try to estimate what the costs will be and what the potential benefit is. So, why don't you go fucking do that analysis as I've asked you, again 57 times, and THEN come back and we can discuss it. Also, we need to "identify key deliverables" i.e. exactly what the fuck we are going to specifically do, not just your plan that consists of "I want to spend 100K working on something for the health care industry in China since I heard that is a growth area"

>>We need to do a deep dive into the low hanging fruit, our ducks are in a row but we just have to dot the i's and cross the t's to reach our North Star
Translation: "you fucking guys are always getting lost on stupid bullshit that you think sounds glamorous, like "come up with our internet of things/wireless/blockchain strategy" when how about you pull your heads out of your ass and just get some basic shit right like, can we get proposals and price quotes out the door in less than two weeks,

Anonymous Tue Jan 15 23:34:38 2019 No.12456280

>>12456270

>>loving the team synergy lately guys, really feels like we are all singing from the same hymn sheet to hit those KPIs

Translation: "I appreciate that you guys have, for the moment at least, stopped constantly fighting about utterly stupid shit, and you seem to actually be focused on getting more sales in Texas, since, if you'll recall, the whole company got told that our number one goal right now is to sell more product into Texas.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 16 00:02:37 2019 No.12456513 >>12454471 Helen, from HR

Anonymous Wed Jan 16 03:27:32 2019 No.12457705

>>12456280
Yeah a lot of this is either giving face or compression of other stuff. It can be a total waste of words--I have a coworker who both insists on relitigating everything from base principles EVERY TIME as well as using a bunch of bullshit jargon--but it isn't usually.

Yes, there are stupid phrases--but a lot of those stupid phrases didn't originate in business. The North Star, Polaris, was used as a metaphor for steadfastness in poetry long before it showed up in business.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 16 04:06:22 2019 No.12457897 >>12454832 This is just the american version of that bit from Oregairu season 2

Anonymous Wed Jan 16 04:52:28 2019 No.12458104
File: 47 KB, 470x595, 50a.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>12454471

>*krkkkkkk*
>"We're getting a lot of noise on the line can anyone who's not talking please press mute"
>*beep boop* has joined the conference
>*krrrkkkkkk*
>*beep boop* has left the conference

Who else here /devilish/ and purposely doesn't mute?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 16 04:55:07 2019 No.12458117 >>12454471 Jesus Christ these are my conference calls to a T

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 16 04:56:08 2019 No.12458122 >>12458104 I like to wait until a few people join after me then start crunching a paper bag near the mouthpiece

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 16 05:00:09 2019 No.12458147 >>12454980 it’s been like that for ages anon

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 16 05:08:47 2019 No.12458174 >>12454471 >tink tink tink >ahem! >yes? Who just joined?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 16 05:22:20 2019 No.12458223 File: 33 KB, 600x600, AF34F05E-C802-4830-B834-D2B769F1540A.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12458174 FUCK WAGIES

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 16 05:22:38 2019 No.12458225 >>12454969 >>12454980 >>12455360 >never heard of word filters söyboy newfags But actually though the mods are gay turbokikes and word filters are cancer desu senpai

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 16 05:26:28 2019 No.12458244 >>12454982 Really? Sounds like a bunch of do-nothing desk jockey paycheck collectors pretending to work to me.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 16 05:42:29 2019 No.12458314 >>12455031 KINO.

Anonymous Wed Jan 16 06:00:29 2019 No.12458403

im slav and those kikes are real

im sales representative for united airlines

when we have weekly sales conference call

its rly like that

they overthink, overkike, overfeel, overnpc, jackiechan roleplay workflow

>kikes are brainlet npcs srsly

when im on that call i just pasively nod to their mediocre pink castle fluffy cloud imagination and gtfo

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 16 07:09:46 2019 No.12458727 >>12456513 >beep boop >beep boop >beep boop >beep boop >beep boop >all other callers have disconnected

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 16 07:26:11 2019 No.12458825 >>12458174 >>12458223 Fucking kek

>>	Anonymous Wed Jan 16 07:53:57 2019 No.12458984 File: 788 KB, 750x1334, C8AAA47C-AE0D-4710-9178-779B6F585484.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12454471 Ok but no company is actually like this

Advanced search
Text to find
Subject [?]Search by post subject. Leave empty for any.
Username [?]Search for user name. Leave empty for any user name.
Tripcode [?]Search for tripcode. Leave empty for any.
Email [?]Search by email. Leave empty for any.
Filename [?]Search by image filename. Leave empty for any.
From Date [?]Enter what date to start searching from. Format is YYYY-MM-DD
To Date [?]Enter what date to start searching until. Format is YYYY-MM-DD
Image hash
Search in	All Posts OPs Only
Deleted posts	Show all posts Show only deleted posts Only show non-deleted posts
Internal posts	Show all posts Show only internal posts Show only archived posts
Order	New posts first Old posts first
Capcode	All Posts Only by Users Only by Mods Only by Admins Only by Developers
Results	Posts Threads
Action	[ Simple ]