Rank your top 5 LINK pastas (no new fags edition)

[Anonymous No.12299241]

1. Listen I genuinely care about Anons well being
2. Bunch of 4channers tried to force it as /ourcoin/
3. I'm actually more qualified to talk about this than most anons
4. Close your eyes, try to clear any thoughts you are having
5. Jason Parser? He's Rory's dad

[Anonymous No.12299252]

>>12299241
Damn, you know your shit

[Anonymous No.12299257]

>>12299252
I also enjoy the more rare ones
>have a node with 10k staked LINK
>LINK is at 1k
>Bond smartcontract worth 50MM will transfer ownership and needs to verify new address of receiving bank
>Issues job to 10 high rep nodes with enough LINK for collateral
>My node is chosen as 10k LINK is high enough to discourage sybil schnanigans
>Stake my 10MM worth of LINK on the answer
>Takes .3 seconds to complete job, takes 2 minutes total to verify results and exit the Chainlink contract
>Got paid .6 LINK
>Bank just paid $6k to do something that would have required multiple salaries and taken over a week to do and tied up liquidity.
>If my node is used like this 100% of the time, I make $157,680,000 a year
Not a bad rate of return

[Anonymous No.12299289]

>>12299257
wow that was me.

[Anonymous No.12299303]

I saw Sergey in an upscale steakhouse the other day. At first I couldn’t recognize him because of all the weight he’s put on recently even though I was sitting at the next table over. But I knew it was him after I overheard someone asking the waiter if they served Big Macs, which of course they didn’t, and as I turned around he began to throw a tantrum, tossing his menu onto the floor and pounding his fists on the table.

“Don’t you fucking know what my PSD2 compliant decentralized oracles are going to do for the smart contract economy you stupid wage slave!?” He shrieked, to the shock of the other restaurant patrons. It looked like him and Rory were having an important meeting with financial types before his hangry attitude kicked in, so Rory hastily dug into his leather man purse and pulled out a crumpled, grease-dotted McDonalds bag, gingerly handing it to Sergey under the table.

“Sergey sweetie, you promised you wouldn’t act this way, we’re going to have to go home after this with no second Big Mac if you don’t behave,” stammered Rory, attempting to calm the angry giant. Sergey snatched the bag and retaliated with an extremely loud fart before greedily unwrapping and chowing down on the Big Mac inside. I decided to leave shortly thereafter since I didn’t feel safe around Sergey’s unpredictable behavior, and the fart wafted onto my food anyhow.

[Anonymous No.12299310]

>>12299241
I only have 100k Link which is nowhere near enough to actually make it.

All these Linklets with 10k stacks singing about 1k eoy are starting to piss me off with their propaganda. It was a joke and they are actually believing it and causing FOMO in newfags preventing the dump. I need to make it to 300k before mainnet for fucks sake. Link is only going to $10 max. Right now I might make 1MM before tax on that, but tax will take a big chunk out of that then inflation will fucking ruin me over the next decade.

Even if I chuck the 1MM into a dividend stock that pays out well and I get 70k a year of it, it's not enough to beat inflation unless I basically live in poverty as a neet and keep my wagecuck job in the meantime so I don't have to sell any retirement Link. In 10 years that 70k a year will feel like 20k a year. You need a minimum of 2MM, but more likely 3MM to make it. The upper predictions for Link where about $60 but that was made during the bullrun of last year, and it assumed that the overall crypto market cap would still be expanding and BTC would go on to 1MM a Bitcoin and that we would be in a full blown crypto FOMO hype bubble when mainnet came out and we got our price singularity. All of that isn't going to happen anymore.

The singularity is cancelled. Now we will have a slow growth to $10. And the sad but ironic thing is most people on this board will hold from 20 cents, to $10 and then hold all the way back to sub $1 again because you all believe the 1k eoy memes, and just like the retards who held BTC and didn't sell at 19k, you will do the same with Link at $10. Looking at the current charts depresses the fuck out of me when I know I only have 100k Link, nowhere near enough to make it.

At best I will have 1-2 sweet years, and then return to wagecucking after that. But it will be worse because I will have tasted freedom and know what I am missing out on.

[Anonymous No.12299321]

>>12299310
this. How did something like chainlink even catch on in this shithole?? It should've been on /g or /sci but there's NONE in there and instead you have a group of literal zoomer brainlets who don't even know how economy works and have never ran a business constantly parroting about "muh 4th industrial revolution" and "muh decentralized oracles". It really drags down the credibility of chainlink when only biztards are interested in it but not actual nerds who get hard on pentesting cybersecurity systems and writing for loop codes on an invoice managing software

[Anonymous No.12299332]

Whats your favorite McDonald's™ item? For me, it's the McChicken®. The best fast food sandwich. I even ask for extra McChicken® sauce packets and the staff is so friendly and more than willing to oblige. One time I asked for McChicken® sauce packets and they gave me three. I said, "Wow, three for free!" and the nice friendly McDonald's™ worker laughed and said, "I'm going to call you 3-for-free!". Now the staff greets me with "hey it's 3-for-free!" and ALWAYS give me three packets. It's such a fun and cool atmosphere at my local McDonald's™ restaurant, I go there at least 3 times a week for lunch and a large iced coffee with milk instead of cream, 1-2 times for breakfast on the weekend, and maybe once for dinner when I'm in a rush but want a great meal that is affordable, fast, and can match my daily nutritional needs. I even dip my fries in McChicken® sauce, it's delicious! What a great restaurant.

[Anonymous No.12299337]

Fuck sergey. Fuck steve. Fuck thomas. Fuck ari juels. Fuck linkpool Fuck openlaw. Fuck aaron wright. Fuck wanchain. Fuck swift. Fuck gartner. Fuck IC3. Fuck town crier. Fuck World economic forum. Fuck zeppelin_os. Fuck accord project. Fuck market protocol. Fuck factom. Fuck Clintex. Fuck bravenewcoin. Fuck morpheus network. Fuck Fuck kaleido. Fuck hydrogen. Fuck kaiko. Fuck bZx. Fuck gamedex. Fuck Fuck web3. Fuck gavin wood. Fuck anyone who shilled chainlink. It's over.

[Anonymous No.12299361]

>>12299252
>>12299257
Yikes. Imagine not recognising "damn you really know your shit"

[Anonymous No.12299373]

>>12299361
Should I kys myself? I feel like I've failed my fellow marines

[Dumping rare pastas No.12299378]

Hundreds of mutating memes have been devoted to ChainLink, which most outsiders deem a fairly standard ERC20 token project (albeit one with an admittedly distinctive cubic icon). One of their more popular memes features an odd mash-up of a 19th Century morality cartoon, a multi-level marketing reward chart and one of those logarithmic scale maps of the universe. It would almost be poignant if it weren’t for its hideous leering trickster frogs and virulent anti-Semitism. On one side it’s a graph divided by hypothetical price levels ($0.10/LINK, $0.25/LINK…). At the bottom of the image is a staircase, where a couple begins their ascent, shaking off the ‘shackles of debt’, and climbing toward an ever-increasing series of rewards marked off on each (dinners out, luxury vacations, fast cars…) But as the price reaches absurd levels ($10/LINK, $100/LINK) the diagram continues into the atmosphere, past disembodied Trump heads who float past with grinning encouragement, by satellites and lunar expeditions, and still the price streaks higher, into interplanetary space, then interstellar space past galaxies and into heaven and beyond, and finally, when the price of LINK reaches $100,000 there’s a heavenly apotheosis watched over by the ChainLink’s charismatic leader Sergey Nazarov who holds aloft a glowing cube of Link.

[Dumping rare pastas No.12299387]

Each wall has a theme: "Shill Wall," "Fud wall," "Sergey" and "Other," although he has different names for them, like "Poo Poo Pajeet Street Number Poo" & "Pee Pee Pajeet Street Nember Pee," but he constantly changes his personal lexicon so frequently to, as he puts it: "match fluctuations in the memeosphere," that the names change hourly, with wall-names undergoing evolutionary recombinations, alterations, and even reassignment to other walls. Only his genius (or, perhaps, madness) could keep track.

He once referred to every wall as "Whoa, Jack," except for "*that* one wall in particular -- don't fucking lookatit! -- which should never be named; seriously: fuck that wall!" He then proceeded to literally fuck that wall for about an hour & a half, leaving several holes in the drywall, before going totally silent for the rest of the afternoon, until sunset, at which point he would not shut up.

He stares for hours at the memes, just spacing out and muttering to himself between bouts of hysterical laughter, hysterical apoplexy & abject catatonia.

Sometimes he'll shout something like "One Kay Ee Oh Why," then furiously cobble together a fresh meme in -- not Photoshop -- but the Linux application GIMP (which he somehow uses faster than the best Photoshopper Photoshops in Photoshop) on a custom Gentoo running Ratpoison before posting it anonymously on 4chan.

He spends hours & hours doing this, lurking & shitposting on 4chan. His employees report that he seldom leaves his office, and is believed to sometimes spend entire weeks in there, not even leaving to relieve himself.

[Dumping rare pastas No.12299394]

See, the thing is, if someone bought link then he [is already retarded of course, but that's not the point] quickly realizes that he fell for a meme and bought a literal shitcoin. So, what is his next step? He goes to /biz and starts to shill his shitlink, hoping that the price will go up again and he will get rif of the bags.
Of course that doesn't happen.
So, the linktard gets more and more frustrated and addicted to the link memes. Finally, the IQ of the linktard (already in critically low double digits, even before buying the memetoken) falls below the level of ambient air temperature, his consciousness switches off and the peripheral nervous system involuntarily connects to the hive mind of link shill collective on /biz.
Then, a linktard transforms into a new form, which is called linkshill.
The linkshill is completely lost to the humanity, he cannot be reasoned with and you cannot sway him with arguments. Linkshill's nervous system is fully controlled by the hive mind and his body can only react to certain external stimuli. You can see it for yourself, how it looks like, in this very thread - the absolute state of link shills, their ''arguments'' look like a weird mix of mumbling of a paranoid lunatic during a full moon and a Buddhist monk in a deep state of dissociation

>BELIEVE IN LINK ANON EOY $1000 DON'T LISTEN TO FUD EOY $2000 LINK MARINES ASSEMBLE EOY $5000 SERGEY IS OURGUY EOY $10000 WE ALL GOING TO MAKE IT EOY $20000 MAINNET SOON EOY $50000 FROM THERE TO ZE MOON EOY $100000 OOOOOMMMMMMM

it actually reminds me about the revelation of a former KGB agent, Yuri Bezmenov and how the Soviets were able to completely brainwash people to the point of complete denial, making people resistant to reason and any arguments.
I wouldn't be surprised if Mr. Sergey works for Russian secret services and all this LINK business is just psy warfare.

[Anonymous No.12299423]

Nobody knows the time of the price singularity.
But when it happens, everyone will know.
All across the world, voices will echo "..what's wrong? Is everything ok?"
A few vehicular accidents will occur seemingly for no reason.
Several pilots, delivery drivers, and one pajeet who forgot to close a submarine hatch will all last be seen yelling at their phones.
Binance will crash. Everyone scrambling to buy LINKs will see 404.
Etherdelta will become so overwhelmed with traffic it will slow to a halt. It will become unusable.
The only orders that will happen will be buy orders that have already been placed.
LINK will reach unimaginably high prices within minutes.
Every noLINKer's eyes will watch. The tiny LINK cube on coinmarketcap will be reflected in their eyes.
However, the ones who knew..the ones who had heard, but didn't listen...
their cubes will be distorted by tears.
As these tears fall onto rapidly moving fingers that are refreshing binance or etherdelta multiple times,
Haunting music rings in their ears infinitely.
The harrowing noise of the bells causes the noLINKer's soul to shiver..and scream.
Biz will be filled with LINK memes. All threads will be titled "You had your chance."
Monitors will be smashed. Laptops broken in half. Weddings, family reunions, graduation ceremonies, and other social events across the world will be plagued by the audible cries of noLINKers who knew the path but didn't take it.
Their hopelessness crushes them inside, but they keep having to wageslave, and forcing a smile on their face every day to avoid ever being asked "what's wrong?" again will eat away at their sanity.
This soon becomes a worldwide phenomenon, and noLINKer syndrome will be added to DSM-V and heavily studied.
Most normies will continue enjoying their playpens.
But the ones who knew..
they will become uncomfortably intimate with despair...
For they know they missed the opportunity of a lifetime, and another precious path to freedom has disappeared forever.

[Anonymous No.12299427]

I saw Sergey Nazarov at a grocery store in San Fran yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any centralized oracle feed infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

[Anonymous No.12299437]

At one point the Oraclize guy called Sergey a sandwich fucker. He even accused Sergey of eating the sandwiches after busting loads into them. There was an intense bit of silence while Sergey glared. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead immediately, and his face was flush. He forced a chuckle into the microphone. Then he walked off stage and just out of the room where there was a magazine rack. He was still in full view of everyone through a window. He starts taking these magazines, two and three at a time, and just tearing them to shreds. Sometimes he would pick one up, and try to twist and tear the whole thing at once, but fail, so then he would start ripping out individual pages. He was facing away from everyone, so we never saw his facial expressions, but the jerking of his arms and jiggling of his head as he ripped the magazines suggested he was apoplectic with rage. This went on for two minutes at least. At this point I thought he was totally screwed, and that he had just ruined the reputation of chainlink in one fell swoop. However, he turned around and walked back into the room. He looked completely rejuvinated and full of vigor again. He proceeded to completely btfo Oraclize in every way, acting as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Afterwards, he even did a little q&a session after the Oraclize guy left due to being frustrated from the harsh btfo. Janitorial services were picking up the mess of shredded magazines at this time, and the only acknowledgement Sergey ever made to the mess was when one of the older janitors fell over while leaning to pick up the pieces. He sort of covered his mouth with his hand, clearly holding back laughter. It was bizarre, but with genius comes inevitable personality quirks.

[Anonymous No.12299443]

In 2011, I was sexually assaulted by Sergey Nazarov. It horrifies me to see this boards sick infatuation with the man who violated me.

Back then I was young, dumb, and more trusting than I should have been. I had just graduated from college, and wanted to explore. I planed a trip to New York to explore myself, and maybe meet a man. I signed up for the website couchsurfing.com and on there I found Sergey.

Nothing seemed suspicious about him. He lived in a nice part of the city, he had good reviews from other women. So I contacted him. He was so nice in messages, a little philosophical so I felt I could trust him. We arranged for me to stay there for about ten days in June, and he would show me around the city in his free time.

[Anonymous No.12299450]

It is actually a part of his performance. I shit you not, but he eats that burger in two bites. He always does that to energize the audience before his presentation. They go absolutely insane when he does it. You can hear gasping and loud mumbling, as they sit in disbelief as to what they just saw. Sergey then says "You would never in your wildest dream believe that what you just saw is possible. You will think the same about the presentation, but it's true, all of it". He immediately follows up with a very long, almost never-ending, gurgling fart. This is ensued by dead silence as the crowd again is in disbelief and shock, and not sure how to react. That's when Rory starts slow clapping from the back of the room while leaning nonchalantly against the wall. The audience follow his lead and it ends in a standing ovation. People are are cheering, clapping and even praising Sergey with their arms and head stretched towards him with blissful faces. The energy in the room moons, and some of the ladies are crying and even fainting.

This man is, as Scott Adams would put it, a master persuader.

[Anonymous No.12299460]

>Supercomputers
>Priced in
>Team AWOL
>No Communication ever
>Registered in a Tax haven
>Slavic scamcoin Pump & Dump
>No activity on GITHUB
>Solves nothing
>Toilets
>Rory
>Useless token
>Deluded
>Doesn't need a token
>2 devs
>Sergey is philosophy major
>Bagholders left to fend for themselves
>Nobody outside /biz/ knows about this scamcoin
>you all got had
>Below ICO price
>No trade volume
>Chinks own 40% of this coin
>Dev has 6 billion tokens in his personal wallet
>Altcoin garbage
>2 shit exchanges
>People literally robbed "LOST ALL MY LINK NOO"
>Stuttering potheads

[Anonymous No.12299478]

Stinky Linky pump-pa-dee-do
I have a perfect shitcoin for you
Stinky Linky pump-pa-dee-dee
If you are wise, you'll listen to me
What do you get when you invest in a rush?
Buying the coins mined where toilets flush
Where are you at getting a SWIFT partnership?
How long do you think you'll hold your grip?

Stinky Linky pump-pa-dee-da
If you're not greedy, you will go far
You will drive in lambos too
Like the Stinky Linkies pump-pa-dee-do

[Anonymous No.12299487]

I have a PhD in crypto economics and mathematics. Crypto incentives in Chainlink are a legitimate concern. I saw Ari Juels speak at a conference recently where he mentioned tokens and asked him about the token economics of a node staking system like the Chainlink network is planning to use. The problem is that node operator incentives are fuzzy at best and not even figured out fully by the team (see the gitter for Steve stuttering about this). When I brought it up to Ari Juels, I told him that in the way the network is expected to be used, the fees payable to node operators would actually decline as requests become more ubiquitous because as the network grows it becomes cheaper to use. This makes sense if you took a few advanced cryptoeconomics courses. Ari admitted that it was a great question but that they were "actively pursuing research in that area." I sold my LINK immediately after that and saw a significant dump on the binance charts. It's pretty clear these guys are pulling you along making you think they're doing something revolutionary when the incentives aren't even fully determined yet.

[Anonymous No.12299496]

I unironically market dumped my stack of LINK yesterday and put it all into Mobius. I'm sorry but the lack of updates, developments, communication and quite frankly the tasteless overshilling of LINK around these parts has ruined my enthusiasm for it. I don't really think Sergey has his heart in Chainlink anymore. Something changed along the way, I can feel his enthusiasm for it waning similarly to how he just up and left NXT like a thief in the night. He probably had a great time raising millions of dollars with the ICO and being a famous celebrity on biz, and I'm happy for him, I really am, but he lost his hunger for success along the way and now he's just hungry for Big Macs. The Bitcoin superconference will likely be a total shitshow. I've no doubt the price will dump within minutes of Sergey staggering off stage after another tedious regurgitated speech where he doesn't even mention Chainlink. He's probably just going there for the free buffet, alcohol and hookers. Look, I really enjoyed holding LINK, it was a pretty cool bag to carry for a while, but Mobius is definitely the new wave of oracle tech and has all the momentum now. I can't let it pass me by.

[Dumping rare pastas No.12299505]

Like, I'm actually feeling so comfy at this point that I feel like I am naked and lying on Sergey' belly as it rises and falls while he's reading some emails where ENG is begging him to slow down. He deletes the emails without responding and strokes my hair gently
"I will decentralize them soon enough"
he says as I drift off to sleep to the comforting sound of his heartbeat.

[Anonymous No.12299507]

>>12299478
Holy shit I actually forgot about the oompa loompa posters completely.

[Anonymous No.12299514]

WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER

DO NOT UNDER ESTIMATE THE POWER OF POSITIVE THOUGHT! ESPECIALLY COLLECTIVE POSITIVE THOUGHT!

THIS SHIT IS GOING TO REACH $1,000 EASILY!
HOLD THAT THOUGHT AND VISUALIZE IT IN YOUR MIND EVERYDAY AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE STARTING NOW AND IT WILL MANIFEST INTO REALITY. DO IT! I'M NOT JOKING!

VISUALIZE AS OFTEN AND AS DETAILED AS POSSIBLE!

[Anonymous No.12299520]

Don't you fucking stinky linkies fucking get it? You're not gonna make it with your fucking erc20 shit token. You need to invest in other opportunities. Seriously just market sell all your chainlinks, ASAP. Sergey is already backpacking throughout Southeast Asia as we fucking speak telling people he's retired. It's over. Sergey's salty surprise is gonna be the exit scam announcement. Datadash was right, SWIFT cancelled the partnership because Sergey's a fucking russian scammer. It's a pity too, the project had so much promise but that's because it was never real in the first place. Steve isn't even a real fucking person. Rory said he's never actually heard Steve's voice in the Slack. The building their website says they're at is a run down hole in the wall indonesian restaurant. The house of cards is falling and Sergey knows people are starting to smell his exit scam. That's why he's vanished from all social media and forms of communication. He's in hiding backpacking asia filling his money belly until this all blows over.

It's fucking ogre guys just fucking sell those heavy ass bags.

[Anonymous No.12299527]

ALRIGHT, time to talk about ChainLink's price.

I've been crunching some numbers, researching how much api providers charge right now, looking into Oraclize and other oracle services customer-base and how much are they paying...

And I've came to the conclusion that LINK holders are completely out of their mind. The network just WON'T have nowhere near the fee revenue to justify the price predictions that are thrown around in this board.

If we're LUCKY, we might see a 10MM USD a YEAR at the beginning at the network. It's fucking ridiculous.

Even if we the network eventually gets adopted by a few banks for derivatives trading purposes (which WON'T happen in less than 03 years, you idiots have no idea how far away smart contracts are from being actually usable) it'll be HARD to get over 100 MM usd a YEAR in network fees. Shit just isn't that profitable.

So yeah, LINK is basically overinflated in price because delusional neets bought into the non-sense from a group of LARPERS and didnt actually do any research.

[Anonymous No.12299554]

>>12299241
Being above $1 actually defeats the purpose of the token

[Anonymous No.12299561]

>>12299554
Am I some sort of gay fag?

[Anonymous No.12299591]

>>12299514
you are a MANIAC

[Anonymous No.12299608]

You fat, cock sucking pieces of shit have no idea what you're talking about. This is a legit project, out of thousands of crypto projects this 1 and a handful of others actually look good and should take off 1 day with good reason. You honestly think that devs of a $32mil project are concerned with keeping some social media addicted, millennial morons up to date with the latest news from said projects? Because they are not. If you want to keep up to date, ask questions on the slack, follow the github, don't come to a Japanese anime board crying about lack of tweets.

You people think bin laden orchestrated 9/11, you think iraq had weapons of mass destruction, you think north korea and iran are threats to the west and you probably think we've been to the moon and that we live on a fluke ball spinning around the sun at thousands of miles an hour and that the moon is just a lump of rock there by chance that only appears to be the same size and travels similar routes to the sun, because it's exactly the right distance, by coincidence, and our ball earth tilting at exactly the right angle, by coincidence, rotating at exactly the right speed, by coincidence that they just "appear" the same size, travelling the similar routes and the same speed because COINCIDENCE - MUH BIG BANG ALL THE SCIENTISTS CAN'T BE WRONG.
WELL YES THEY CAN. BECAUSE THEY ARE. AND ALL YOU FUCKING RETARDED PIECES OF SHIT CAN'T WRAP YOUR HEAD AROUND THE FACT THAT YOU, YOUR PARENTS, YOUR TEACHERS AT SCHOOL, REPORTERS ON THE NEWS AND ALL THE "TOP SCIENTISTS" HAVE BEEN LIED TO FROM FUCKING BIRTH. ABOUT EVERYTHING. INCLUDING THE VERY NATURE OF YOUR BEING AND THE VERY NATURE OF REALITY. IT'S ALL A FUCKING LIE.
CHAINLINK IS THE WAY OUT
GET IN OR GET FUCKED.

[Anonymous No.12299631]

F U T U R E
B I L L I O N A I R E S

[Dumping rare pastas No.12299905]

Imagine you're a russian scammer. You've never created anything, you never will, you're known for your Chris-Chan dresscode, hamburgers, and toilets.

People make fun of you on so many levels, it breaks down quantum mechanics. Then you go to yet another shitshow ICO pajeet gathering, and you get raided by the only people in the world who actually give a fuck about you, or know your name.

Do you indulge these horrible people, or do you tell them to fuck off? On the one hand, they might actually be holding your stinky linkies. On the other, they might be holding your stinky linkies, and they're fucking mocking you to your face, and in a running thread.

Even if they hold stinky linkies, none of them actually believe in muh decentralized oracles. No one even knows what the fuck that is. They just know you have a gay meme cube.

Can you imagine being a living meme on the least populated 4chan board of all time, and this is the peak of your life?

[Anonymous No.12300002]

LINK MARINES Assemble!

<insert rank> <insert name> reporting in. To reduce and centralize the number of LINK threads on /biz/. We will hodl the line and defend against the FUD with unshaken faith

To those new, here is the circulating LINK Marine RANK structure.

- General of ChainLink: General Sergey Nazarov
- General: 500001+ LINK
- Lieutenant General: 250001-500000 LINK
- Major General: 175001-250000 LINK
- Brigadier General: 125001-175000 LINK
- Colonel: 750001-125000 LINK
- Lieutenant Colonel: 50001-75000 LINK
- Major: 35001-50000 LINK
- Captain: 25001-35000 LINK
- First Lieutenant: 20001-25000 LINK
- Second Lieutenant: 15001-20000 LINK
X<><><>X<><><>X
- Sergeant Major: 10001-15000 LINK
- Master Sergeant: 9001-10000 LINK
- Sergeant First Class: 7501-9000 LINK
- Staff Sergeant: 5001-7500 LINK
- Sergeant: 3501-5000 LINK
- Corporal: 1501-3500 LINK
- Specialist: 501-1500 LINK
- Private: 1-500 LINK

Promotions are abound, what will you tell your grandchildren about serving on the Stronghold of /biz/?

[Anonymous No.12300056]

>>12299241
So delicious

[Anonymous No.12300083]

>>12299241
This is going to be one of the hardest dumps on main-net and the project will basically fail because people will never use it for anything other than to PnD, which will completely fuck the tokenomics and make the whole thing useless. Sergey will realize this and just disappear along with the rest of the team. SWIFT and co will realize this, and begin to quietly remove any references they have to this embarrassing experiment which - who knows, might have succeeded if it wasn't for the retards who infest this place and run painfully obvious shill and fud campaigns. Many of you will experience the kind of hopium crash which actually kills people, and I suppose suicide is a fitting reward for some of the more smug retards who clutter up this board, but I hope it isn't all of you.

There will be no more memes, no more dreams of lambos or whatever NPC tier 'rich person's car' you've picked out in your imagination as you're left in the dirt holding a bunch of link bags. Even a fraction of the money some of you invested in link could have helped you make it during the next bull-run in a legitimate project. Imagine that. THAT is what you should be visualizing. Not your stupid fucking holiday home, not your imaginary future "faithful" gf / wife, nor an early retirement where you don't need to toil away at menial tasks for your betters from inside your 9-5 existential prison cell - you should instead be visualizing yourself scraping together what little money you have left in the wake of your devastation to try and ride something like BAT or Holo up, and your dream of MILLIONS OF DOLLARS suddenly becomes a much more realistic 100k-200k at most. I mean it's not bad - more than you intellectual runts probably deserve. You'll all see I was right. I always am.

[Anonymous No.12300097]

>>12299241
Link is a garbage token for garbage investors who just want to burn their money - retards who unironically believe that they know better than the rest of the crypto sphere. You see, when you don't have extra chromosomes like the average linker, the project isn't mysterious, it doesn't need "dots connected" and it doesn't solve a problem. Why? Because it claims to solve a problem which DOESN'T ACTUALLY EXIST. It isn't talked about and it's not for some mysterious and indiscernible reason, nor is it because biz wasted time and energy fudding it, it just isn't talked about anywhere else because no one actually gives a shit about it because it's yet another unremarkable shitcoin with no real use case or future. That's how painfully fucking clear and obvious it is to anyone with a triple digit IQ who looks at this project.

So let's see - over a year of waiting and all you have are 6 chainlinks, a fucking alarm clock, and the token still being worth fuck-all. Congratulations guys - what an epic wipeout. And if that doesn't drive the point home, it's painfully clear that you have Stockholm syndrome so bad that you'll even try to defend this while the rest of the board just checks in for entertainment value.

I can see the responses now. You know better right? I need to uh, read the whitepaper and look at the pivotal even though I have done this more times than you have, all while understanding it better than you did collectively? Not that that's too hard, seeing as no link holder has any actual technical literacy. I genuinely pity you to the point where euthanasia seems like a kinder option than even encouraging you to drop this piece of crap. Why? Because being a linker is a strong indicator that the life you lead after it fails will be governed by the same gullibility which lead you to buy link in the first place. You'll just be a source of misery for yourself and others - but at least in the abyss you won't have to live with it.

[Anonymous No.12301020]

>>12299241
ayo nigga i aint tryna to fud but I got beef n shiet wit Chainlink. bruh Chainlink been on dat Ropsten for months n erryone finna expectin deez potential partners 2 test on dat test net. Sergey and his niggas even told yall to keep an eye on dat Ropsten to see dem customerz usin the network. Nigga it finna been 3 welfare payments n the only transactions on Ropsten been deadass average peeps takin the hunnit Ropsten link from tha faucet shiet. They aint no requests fo data. shiet, as a matter of fact homie some nigga aksed Thomas why and then Thomas got scurred n made a fake ass run to show it works. Homeslice, I see Tommy's request nigga but it be da only muthafuckin one.

Why aint no niggas testing on Ropsten? Where all these niggas at dat post to be creaming they underwear at the potenshul of Chainlink huh? Deadass tha lack of sergey n his niggas talkin, no updates and no fukkin worldstar presence, increasing competition from mobius niggas all red flags up in this bitch.

[Anonymous No.12301029]

>>12299241
Only once will I post this. Only once.

Those of you who have been blindly following the chainlink shills are absolute fucking retards. If you had an IQ above 90 and spent 30 minutes researching, you'd actually understand why you are making the best investment of your lives.

The problem with this board is literally most of the Chainlink shills could not explain to you why Chainlink is actually an amazing bet. The few anons that do get it and post legitimately useful information get ignored because most of this board is dense and dumb as fuck and when they can't understand something they act like it wasn't even posted.

Chainlink is next gen. It will make all current holders with 10k+ millionaires. You may have to wait 2-3 years, which most of you will be too dumb to do. You'll see a 5x a year from now and because you've been checking the price every fucking day for over 1500 days you'll think "fuck it, I'm selling, this isn't going anywhere!". When the token actually goes parabolic you'll be holding the keys to your piece of shit Corvette and those of us who weren't total brainlets will be having you park our Bentley's because you work as a fucking valet now.

This is not pasta. Do not repost this. This is simply the truth. Fucking screencap and check back in 2021

[Anonymous No.12301137]

When Link first starts pumping, no one will know what is going on. The initial +100% or +200% will come out of nowhere. An informed insider perhaps. The board will be flooded with Link threads, mostly incredulous posters getting ready to cash in. And when everything starts to quiet down, there will be another pump. And another. 2x each time, bigger and bigger buys and insiders start flowing in. Whales that /biz/ can only dream of. The excitement will be palpable, the caps lock will be enabled without relief.

But still no one will know what's going on. 2x, 4x, 8x, 16x... the pump goes on and on without relief. 32x, 64x, 128x. Sergey will be praised as the next coming of Christ.
And then the news starts. Microsoft partnership. The thread explodes but it won't stop. Salesforce partnership. Visa integration. 200 posts per minute in every link thread. The American Bar Association endorses Chainlink for use in the Justice system. You can check on your FedEx delivery status using Chainlink. Every named company's stock is soaring but the true diamond of the night is Chainlink. A name repeated everywhere, by people across the world. Chainlink. Chainlink. Chainlink.

The financial media is in shambles, they were totally blindsided but no one pays them heed. Facebook half-heartedly announces a competing product destined for the rubbish bin. Governments jostle for position in the new world order, issuing statements that Chainlink is legal, no that Chainlink won't be taxed, no that Chainlink will be subsidized and legally mandated.
And still Link pumps. Beyond anyone's wildest dreams it pumps.
Are you ready?

[Anonymous No.12301146]

>>12299289
you fucking liar, i made that pasta

[Anonymous No.12301162]

cringpilled

[Anonymous No.12301164]

I liked those very rare days where linkies actually thought chain link had been shadowforked because an anon posted some dark net info.

[Anonymous No.12301191]

I enjoy the threads where everyone starts claiming to have increasing larger stacks.

[Anonymous No.12301198]

pee pee poo poo

[Anonymous No.12301217]

>>12301029
Fuck, I'm honored. Wasn't sure I'd make this thread. Thanks anon, made my new years.

[Anonymous No.12301303]

>>12301217
Only once will I post this. Only once.

Those of you who have been blindly following the chainlink shills are absolute fucking retards. If you had an IQ above 90 and spent 30 minutes researching, you'd actually understand why you are making the best investment of your lives.

The problem with this board is literally most of the Chainlink shills could not explain to you why Chainlink is actually an amazing bet. The few anons that do get it and post legitimately useful information get ignored because most of this board is dense and dumb as fuck and when they can't understand something they act like it wasn't even posted.

Chainlink is next gen. It will make all current holders with 10k+ millionaires. You may have to wait 2-3 years, which most of you will be too dumb to do. You'll see a 5x a year from now and because you've been checking the price every fucking day for over 1500 days you'll think "fuck it, I'm selling, this isn't going anywhere!". When the token actually goes parabolic you'll be holding the keys to your piece of shit Corvette and those of us who weren't total brainlets will be having you park our Bentley's because you work as a fucking valet now.

This is not pasta. Do not repost this. This is simply the truth. Fucking screencap and check back in 2021

[Anonymous No.12301330]

I don't know what to think anymore /biz/. I'm not a professional investor, but I don't think link is a good investment if all of this is true?
I was at my local McDonald's the other day when I saw an overweight man in plaid huddled in the corner by the restrooms. He was intensely focused on something in front him and it wasn't until I got closer I realized that he was playing with the Legos that came with his happy meal. He kept prying the plastic pieces apart and rearranging them on the edges of the table, occasionally muttering the odd phrase or two about "decentralized oracles". Globs of ketchup and mustard were dripping on his shirt from a half eaten big mac laid down nearby. I rushed home and immediately market sold all of my link. I will never be duped by that man again. Just thinking about it makes me sick.

[Anonymous No.12301337]

I love chainlink. All the drama, the memes, the community surrounding it, it's really something. But what I love most about it is knowing that in couple years I will be a billionaire. It's not even a 99% chance, it is quite literally guaranteed. As a result of that knowledge, I stopped showering and brushing my teeth over a month ago. There is simply no reason for me to do it when I know I'll be rich. I will be fucking whores every night and laughing as they're throwing up from my disgusting, stinky body and mouth. As they kiss me on my rotten teeth, or suck my stinky, 2 year unwashed hog. It will be quite something. In fact I am already seeing effects of my stinky adventure. Yesterday I went to a shop to buy some cheese and make a stop at McD's for a big mac and the cashier at the store was visibly gagging at the smell of me and trying to hide it. Other customers were standing like 5 meters behind me. It was truly hilarious. And none of them have any idea of my guaranteed, future riches. They must already be so jealous of me. The stinkiest billionaire ever.

[Anonymous No.12301350]

Day 1 of <Insert Event here>. Blockchain studd Sergey Nazarov is sitting in the front row.


A stuffy gray-haired banker is going over the oracle problem and how it's an open problem that haven't been solved for a 100 years.

"Fucking newfags" Sergey mutters to himself. The banker hears him. "Excuse me? Did you have anything to say?"

"The oracle problem HAS been solved" Sergey replies smugly, and then tells him about ChainLink.

"Nonesense" the banker says while going to their website. As he's reading the whitepaper he visibly shaken. "I can't believe this... I can't believe this" he says with a cracked voice. Finally he regains composure and proclaims "Conference dismissed. THE ORACLE PROBLEM HAS BEEN SOLVED!!"

Hottest girl in the room (SIBOS is 90% women) starts sucking Sergey's cock right there while the second hottest girl fingers his ass.

Biz, where were you when Sergey solved the Oracle problem?

[Anonymous No.12301356]

Guys, this is fucked up, but hear me out.
I just spoke with the new marketing director of Chainlink and he had some pretty interesting things to tell.

We all know that Sergey has gotten kind of big lately, but the last months it has sprialed out of control. He is now so morbidly obese that he cannot support his own weight. Apparently he used a large chunk of the ICO money to install a huge aquarium in his house. He, and I kid you not, spends 22 houres a day in it to release the strain on his knees and back. According to the MD of Chainlink, he has switched to eating fish food. He says it has the optimal balance of minerals an positive vibrations. But the most fucked up thing is that he is supposedly mating with a clown fish. I don't know if the fish consent or not, but with Sergeys current size I don't think he have a say in the matter. Also, once a day he is hoisted out of the tank and onto a couch so that he can watch his favorite TV show Dr. Phil.

I don't know what to think anymore /biz/. I'm not a professional investor, but I don't think link is a good investment if all of this is true?

[Anonymous No.12301363]

But when Hodges joined the dev team, he witnessed “one of the legendary crypto disasters of all time”, describing it as a “$32m train wreck”.
He was shocked to discover that Sergey – who he claims arrived on location “weighing about 300 pounds” – would not recite words written for the SIBOS presentation: “He wanted to improvise it all.” And Sergey would rarely emerge from his trailer: “They were flying in these hapless [SWIFT] executives to try to beg him to come out of his damned trailer.

“Sergey was only answering the door when the pizza man came. This was the best news that the pizza-makers of San Francisco, this big town, had ever had because Sergey was consuming industrial quantities of pizza while ruminating on what the hell he was going to do when he had to face the investors. I think there might have been an existential terror there.”

[Anonymous No.12301379]

LINK is intrinsically worthless. Node operators can be paid in existing cryptocurrencies. Just look at the testnet right now, it only accepts ETH instead of LINK lmao. It means that ETH can easily be substituted for it, that is, if someone wants to fork the token to accept ETH (an established cryptocurrency instead of some fucking ERC20 token made with a two-man team), LINK is basically useless. That is besides the fact that everything LINK aims to do can be easily done by cryptographically signing the data from the API source.
>muh next ETH

Uh oh, pissed stinker incoming HAHA....

[Anonymous No.12301391]

So let's see - over a year of waiting and all you have are 6 chainlinks, a fucking alarm clock, and the token still being worth fuck-all. Congratulations guys - what an epic wipeout. And if that doesn't drive the point home, it's painfully clear that you have Stockholm syndrome so bad that you'll even try to defend this while the rest of the board just checks in for entertainment value.

I can see the responses now. You know better right? I need to uh, read the whitepaper and look at the pivotal even though I have done this more times than you have, all while understanding it better than you did collectively? Not that that's too hard, seeing as no link holder has any actual technical literacy. I genuinely pity you to the point where euthanasia seems like a kinder option than even encouraging you to drop this piece of crap. Why? Because being a linker is a strong indicator that the life you lead after it fails will be governed by the same gullibility which lead you to buy link in the first place. You'll just be a source of misery for yourself and others - but at least in the abyss you won't have to live with it.

[Anonymous No.12301406]

I woke up at exactly 6:00. I need no alarm clock. Two women woke me by sucking my cock. I gave 0.000001 LINK to each of the women as a tip. Three women helped me into the shower, all while caressing me and drooling at my LINK wallet. They also came instantly after seeing my balance.

I left my 50 acre mansion and got in my gold-plated 2030 Lamborghini Murcielago (custom made for me after the dealer saw my LINK) and another one of my bitches was waiting in the passenger seat. She was in the car all night, because she couldn't sleep without me having penetrated her. She hopped on me and started riding my dick while I squeezed her tits and drove with my knees. In a whim, I arrived at the gym. I threw the bitch off me, and she quickly returned to the passenger seat, where she would sit until I got back. When I got out the car, I flexed. My bulging, huge, muscles ripped my Gucci shirt off, and six women lined up. We had an orgy, which didn't last too long. Each woman climaxed when my cock came within five inches of her pussy, and went into an eternal state of euphoria after seeing my LINK wallet. I came, and transferred .00000000001 LINK to each of the women.

After benching seven hundred kilograms, I squatted four hundred kilograms. I started doing my 100 laps, but I got a phone call. It was a conference call with nineteen supermodels. They orgasmed after hearing my voice. My bitch in the car was getting lonely, so I went back. She sucked me off as I took the drive back home. I left her in the car, transferred .000000001 LINK to her, opened the diamond-encrusted knob and went inside.

[Anonymous No.12301412]

>>12299252
Classic. Damb

[Anonymous No.12301414]

My patience is getting tired. The chainlink website literally says they are partnered with swift. Still 50c. All these speculated partnerships are just that. The partnerships that have been announced are either worthless or "so important and bigger then people think" but its still 50c. The team cant even tell us whats going on even in a low key way, i guess i do know they dont need to say anything to the average joe. I want to believe everything link has to offer but when the practical side of me comes up, its all too good to be true. Im all in and will hold til zero, it just really fucking blows that my life savings are in this (a whopping 1,200 dollars) and the notion that i dont have what it takes to even get a dishwasher job, my moral is the lowest its ever been in my life. Im not even asking for $1000 eoy, i just need maybe 150 dollars a link to just move out of my parents house ive been living in for 34 years of my life, i just want to feel whats its like to go to your own house and have my own room. Im so fucking tired of being a loser.

[Anonymous No.12301428]

Dear Mr. I'm-Too-Good-to-Update-My-Fans
This'll be the last message I ever send your ass
It's been three months and still no github update・I don't deserve it?
I bought three bitcoins worth of Chainlink,
Each time half the value before it,
So this is my shitpost I'm sending you, I hope you read it
I'm on Binance right now, about to sell all your shit for 10 Request,
Hey, Sergey, I drank a fifth of russian vodka, you dare me to dump?
You know the song by Wutang Clan
"Torture" about that guy that gets pumped, with a hot hanger, up in his rear hump?
thats kinda how this is, you could've pumped to save me from dumping,
Now it's too late, I'm ten times down now, and I'm drowsy
And all I wanted was a lousy update or a tweet,
I hope you know I deleted all of your meme pics out my C:,
I loved you, Sergey, we could've been rich together ・think about it!
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep
And you meme about it
And when you meme
I hope you can't sleep and you Airbnb about it
I hope your shitcoin eats at you
And you can't breathe without me
See, Sergey..--shut up, REQ! I'm tryin' to talk
Hey, Sergey, that's my new shitcoin screamin' in the trunk
But I didn't dump her, she gives me gains, she aint like you
舛ause if she dumps on me, ill have nothing left, and suicide too,
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the pump now
Oh shit, I forgot, how am I supposed to sell when this shit is scamming me out?

[Anonymous No.12301434]

Not gonna lie, former linky here. This is fucking hilarious watching Chainlink crash and burn. But in all seriousness we can't let Sergay get his fat hands on all the big macs.

[Anonymous No.12301442]

look and the charts and then close your eyes, try to clear any thoughts you are having
Take long, slow, deep breathes and put all your focus and attention onto your breathing
iiiiiiiinnnn.................... ooooooooooooouuuut

good. Do this for a few minutes, then -
VISUALIZE yourself becoming rich through your LINK investment
ANTICIPATE the things you will buy with your new found abundance of wealth
IMAGINE as though it is all happening now in the present moment, for the present moment is all that truly exists
MOST IMPORTANTLY
FEEL the way you will FEEL when that moment comes and you make it!
FEELING THE EMOTION IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN JUST VISUALIZING THE IMAGES!

Now open your eyes, look in a mirror, and recite these affirmations (use/add your own that is relevant to the reality you want to create once you make it)
I AM RICH
I AM WEALTHY
I AM A MILLIONAIRE
LINK HAS GIVEN ME INFINITE ABUNDANCE
It's important to do this when you wake up and before you go to bed, but do it as often as possible. Also hold the image and idea of us making it and LINK being worth $1,000 or more in your mind as you fall to sleep.

[Anonymous No.12301447]

>Microsoft developer conference stream
>Countless overhyped presentations with lots of style but no substance whatsoever
>A parade of suits wearing chuck taylors giving talks trying to awkwardly make Microsoft look cool and with it
>"Aaaaaaand now we would like to present to YOU our new cryptlets applications and we are working with a little project called ChainLink! Take the floor Mr Nazarov wooooooo! *Clap Clap Clap Clap *
>Price of LINK immediately skyrockets eventually consolidating around 325 USD after an hour green candles and exchanges crashing from the sheer volume of it all
>Countless threads on /biz/ posting about LINK, a never ending sea of pajeets asking if its a good time to buy in still?
>Even the Mobius shills start asking for advice on how to sell their bags and buy LINK
>Sergey takes the stage, an eerie silence goes over the crowd, the entire world seems to be on standstill as the fate of the global economy is on the precipice of revolution
>Sergey begins his 42 minute presentation on smart contracts, displaying no emotion at all, even to the point of disinterest, laying out nothing but cold facts about smart contracts and their implemention, and various programming languages they can be written in. At no point does he mention ChainLink.
>ChainLink proceeds to pump another 0.010% after his presentation, Sergey wanders off stage only wondering what the true nature of man really is.

[Anonymous No.12301453]

Friendly reminder SWIFT won't even be using Chainlink even when it does finally start using distributed ledger technology (which is still another 4+ years away).

Here's what it says on smartcontract.com:

"We're proud to be working with SWIFT on their own SWIFT Smart Oracle."
>their OWN SWIFT Smart Oracle
>NOT the chainlink oracle

Never forget that banks are interested in the blockchain technology, NOT some fucking ERC20 shittoken made by a russian journeyman who walked away from NXT. All you autists who are constantly harping on about "the SWIFT announcement" are absolutely deluded. It's like you just ignore what it actually says on smartcontract.com and indulge in your own deluded fantasies instead.

[Anonymous No.12301459]

Hey Faggots,

My name is Sergey, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-linkers who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass numbers. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any gains? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because for holding bags, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than buying lottery tickets.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I wrote a json parser and work with swift all while housing bigmacs. What do you do? , other than "getting rekt holding shitcoins"? I also write smart contracts, and have hefty bag of link (link just pumped; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my link

[Anonymous No.12301467]

Try a pool cleaner vacuum while underwater, especially with a heated pool, it will give you the best orgasm of your entire life. the fans rapidly but gently smack the head of your dick while giving really strong suction. obviously stick your fingers in first to make sure it's safe, not every pool vacuum is the same. I've had blowjobs from 3 different women and 4 different men, I've used vacuums, cock-pumps, fleshlights, vibrators... and NOTHING compares to the pool cleaner. I'm not even fucking kidding right now, if you get the chance, try it. the only thing that is even remotely close to how good that pool vacuum felt was straight up vaginal sex with this fat chick who had a really warm snatch, it was like sticking my dick into a wet loaf of banana bread straight out of the oven, and yes this fucking pool cleaner vacuum was better than that. I don't own a pool or else I'd be doing it every day. unfortunately the owner of the pool caught me doing it so I'm not allowed to be within 1000 feet of his house anymore but it was so fucking worth it, I'm telling you that fucking pool vacuum is like heaven. honestly the only reason I even want to make it with LINK is so I can afford my own house with a heated pool and of course a pool vacuum. I can't wait to buy a dozen different brands and styles of pool cleaners and fuck them all. I live for that day to come.

[Anonymous No.12301473]

At one point the Oraclize guy called Sergey a sandwich fucker. He even accused Sergey of eating the sandwiches after busting loads into them. There was an intense bit of silence while Sergey glared. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead immediately, and his face was flush. He forced a chuckle into the microphone. Then he walked off stage and just out of the room where there was a magazine rack. He was still in full view of everyone through a window. He starts taking these magazines, two and three at a time, and just tearing them to shreds. Sometimes he would pick one up, and try to twist and tear the whole thing at once, but fail, so then he would start ripping out individual pages. He was facing away from everyone, so we never saw his facial expressions, but the jerking of his arms and jiggling of his head as he ripped the magazines suggested he was apoplectic with rage. This went on for two minutes at least. At this point I thought he was totally screwed, and that he had just ruined the reputation of chainlink in one fell swoop. However, he turned around and walked back into the room. He looked completely rejuvinated and full of vigor again. He proceeded to completely btfo Oraclize in every way, acting as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Afterwards, he even did a little q&a session after the Oraclize guy left due to being frustrated from the harsh btfo. Janitorial services were picking up the mess of shredded magazines at this time, and the only acknowledgement Sergey ever made to the mess was when one of the older janitors fell over while leaning to pick up the pieces. He sort of covered his mouth with his hand, clearly holding back laughter. It was bizarre, but with genius comes inevitable personality quirks.

[Anonymous No.12301503]

the literature written about this bullshit is truly magfinicent

[Anonymous No.12301548]

Pregnant Sergey pasta anyone?

[Anonymous No.12301585]

As a prominent member of the gay Chainlink community I come to wish you all a Happy New year. 2019 will be the year of Chainlink. We will host a massive pool party to celebrate our sexual and financial liberation. We will chainlink every day. We will have unprotected sex and anally exchange our sexual juices. You will shoot huge loads of cum inside my anus and I will do the same to yours. I will swallow every linkie's cock. We will penetrate each other like there's no tomorrow. You will cum all over my face. Sergey will personally fuck every chainlink holder to establish his authority over the cult. We won't leave any cock standing. 2019 will be the year of Chainlink.

[Anonymous No.12301756]

1. Machinations
2. SF Big Macs
3. Water Closet
4. Mining Link
5. CodeShip
6. S.N.
7. ShadowFork
8. Ctrl+f
9. Toyota
10. 1k EOY

[Anonymous No.12301811]

>>12300002
Major general on his way to be Lieutenant General soon my fellow brethren

[Colonel Aleron Helix !!slBLhWeKGur No.12301846]

>>12300002
Beat me to it - Was going to post the ranks, but here is thread from back in mid 2018.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUMitPa2OIA

LTC Aleron Helix Reporting In,

>>77777777 has revealed our Manifest Destiny as LINK Marines. These past six months have been one of monumental struggle, one that has forged our brotherhood through FUD and victory. The vanguard of /biz/ is now ours. Under the control of the LINK Marines we have a duty. From the digit rolling Infantry, Memetic Field Artillery, OC MEME Engineers, Special Intelligence Agencies and Actors, to the platoons of Reconnaissance Assets; we must remain vigilant in our efforts. To HODL is the virtue of the LINK Marine; to combat FUD, execute deserters, and secure the future of our ranks is the Spirit and Glory of our existence. Take heart in our victory, for it is tremendous milestone in our history.

To the LINK Marine Brass; Colonel Damu, Captain Dan, Chaplain Law of Attraction, SGT Armadillo, AssBlaster, Pepe Baller - Your leadership throughout this campaign has been insurmountable.

To each and EVERY one of you LINK Marines, none of us could have achieved this victory without your efforts; their filters won't save them now.

God Bless,
- LTC Aleron Helix

[Anonymous No.12302159]

Im the anon that responded
You are a maniac

When singularity?

[Anonymous No.12302209]

Whichever anon shilled Link to /pol/ congrats on this seriously. You successfully brought normies, magapedes and boomers who have ruined /biz/ and Link. Link used to be a fun meme last year before the bullrun with good OC popping up and new FUD that was copypasta worthy. Now, those days are gone and we’re left with horrible memes, autistic screeching in non link related threads about “$1k EOY” and normie crypto twitter shills. The whole world knows of Link and it’s quickly became nothing but a fomo pnd coin for telegram and discord channels who simultaneously flood /biz/ with singularity threads. Sure, one day Link might become the catalyst for the 4th industrial revolution, but that time is not now. They’ve already stated that the mainnet is far from finished and that the oracle problem is a lot harder to solve than they believed initially yet nu/biz/ falls for the 10% “pumps” after 20% dumps. The truth is, Link will see sub .20 cents again and it’s becoming increasingly unlikely that it will ever be over $1 again (this, if you read the whitepaper, defeats it’s purpose anyways). Accumulate quietly and in the mean time increase your stacks if you truly believe in the “singularity” by investing in solid projects like Holochain and BAT. Don’t be deluded, we still have a long ways to go before “smart contracts” are globally adopted. A simple “mainnet” release would inevitably dump the price on fomo newfags and normies pumping pajeet pnd bags.

[Anonymous No.12302604]

>>12299241
I never bought any of that "size matters" crap until my junior year in college where I met Sergey Nazarov. I lived in the dorms with two roommates, Ari and Sergey. Ari was a pretty ordinary looking guy, kinda quiet - but Sergey was handsome, bloatmaxxed with a massive belly and (according to him anyway) was hung like a bull. He used to joke about it a lot - even around my girlfriend, Amy. Amy was a sophomore and was petite, shy and somewhat quiet. I didn't like it when Sergey would make his "big dick" comments and jokes around Amy, but she told me she didn't pay any attention to him and truth be told, she really couldn't stand Sergey.

I have a 5.5" dick and with Amy being so petite, it always seemed to do the trick. I was only the third guy she'd ever been with and only her second boyfriend - maybe my guard was just down but who knows.

Anyway, one Friday night, Amy and I were hanging out in my dorm room drinking, smoking some weed and watching TV. Ari and Sergey had both gone home for the weekend - or so we thought. At about 1am (Amy and I were pretty toasted by then), Sergey walked in. He'd ended up hanging out with some of his friends off campus and had decided to just drive home in the morning since his parents only lived about an hour and a half away.

He could see that Amy and I were both pretty hammered. He grabbed a beer and sat down and we smoked some more weed with him. Amy was pretty drunk and started giving Sergey shit. Sergey seemed to get a kick out of it and I could see him kinda flirting with Amy. Then I noticed (and hoped that Amy wouldn't) that Sergey wasn't wearing any underwear.

[Anonymous No.12302609]

I never bought any of that "size matters" crap until my junior year in college where I met Sergey Nazarov. I lived in the dorms with two roommates, Ari and Sergey. Ari was a pretty ordinary looking guy, kinda quiet - but Sergey was handsome, bloatmaxxed with a massive belly and (according to him anyway) was hung like a bull. He used to joke about it a lot - even around my girlfriend, Amy. Amy was a sophomore and was petite, shy and somewhat quiet. I didn't like it when Sergey would make his "big dick" comments and jokes around Amy, but she told me she didn't pay any attention to him and truth be told, she really couldn't stand Sergey.

I have a 5.5" dick and with Amy being so petite, it always seemed to do the trick. I was only the third guy she'd ever been with and only her second boyfriend - maybe my guard was just down but who knows.

Anyway, one Friday night, Amy and I were hanging out in my dorm room drinking, smoking some weed and watching TV. Ari and Sergey had both gone home for the weekend - or so we thought. At about 1am (Amy and I were pretty toasted by then), Sergey walked in. He'd ended up hanging out with some of his friends off campus and had decided to just drive home in the morning since his parents only lived about an hour and a half away.

He could see that Amy and I were both pretty hammered. He grabbed a beer and sat down and we smoked some more weed with him. Amy was pretty drunk and started giving Sergey shit. Sergey seemed to get a kick out of it and I could see him kinda flirting with Amy. Then I noticed (and hoped that Amy wouldn't) that Sergey wasn't wearing any underwear.

[Anonymous No.12302613]

>>12302609
But Amy started massaging my dick through my jeans and being so fucked up, I just laid my head back and enjoyed it - I couldn't believe she was doing that right in front of Sergey! I heard Sergey get up to pass Amy the joint we were smoking and I heard her gasp, long and deep and she suddenly stopped stroking my dick. I opened my eyes and saw Sergey standing righ tin front of Amy with a HUGE fucking bulge in his pants - just inches from her face. The room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.

He just stood there and I could feel her hand tremble and hear her breathing quicken. when she slowly looked up at him, almost in awe and respect, I could feel my heart start to pound in my chest. Then she softly whispered "ohhhhhhhhhhh" as she gingerly reached up to brush her finger tips across that massive knot in his pants. When she touched it, it throbbed - FUCK I could see it throb thorugh his pants - Amy just gasped again and looked up at him.

"What?" Sergey asked her and just kinda laughed. Amy did NOT laugh. Instead, she softly asked "can i see it?" Sergey stopped laughing, looked at her very seriously and told her to take it out. Amy never even hesitated - or looked back at me for an "OK" - just just obeyed him and began to open his jeans. I could see her nipples rock hard under her t-shirt and I could tell she was practically panting.

[Anonymous No.12302622]

>>12302613
She opened his jeans and his big thick dick just fell out...and he had NOT been kidding. That cock was strong, heavy and muscular. The head was a purple mushroom that sat on top of the thickest shaft i'd ever seen. He was semi-hard and was HUGE compared to me. Amy just gasped and kept whispering "ohmygodohmygodohmygod". When she wrapped her hand around it, her brow just knotted in disbelief and she almost laughed at how thick he was - her fingers couldn't even touch.

Sergey just stood there watching my girlfriend worship his magnificent cock. Slowly shaking her head in disbelief, she two-fisted him - one hand next to the other...and there was STILL a few inches left - and he was getting rock hard, too.

Amy smiled and patted the couch next to her and Sergey sat down, his cock standing straight up. Honestly he had to be almost 10" (judging from the size of Amy's hand). I opened my pants and took my own cock out. Amy took my cock in her left hand and Sergey's in her right - but there was little doubt whose cock was getting more attention. She couldn't take her eyes off his cock and her hand only occasionally stroked my dick...but Sergey's she pumped with long, purposeful strokes until she finally couldn't help herself any longer and knelt in front of him, kissing his cock and rubbing it against her soft pale skin.

She sucked his dick until SHE came - just from sucking him! I stroked the whole time until he pulled her toward him, peeled off her pants (she didnt even make the slightest attempt to stop him) and sat her on his lap, her back to his chest - the two of them right next to me. She just rolled her head back to kiss him as he squeezed her tits through her shirt. Her hands went down and pushed that big cock against her pussy and she groaned so loud when it touched her that I thought people outside would hear.

[Anonymous No.12302631]

>>12302622
Sergey's dick was so fucking big that he easily penetrated her from behind with her sitting on his lap. She arched up so she could take as much of it as she could and they started to fuck right there next to me. It shocked me how easily her petite little body accomodated that horse cock of his. Sergey pounded her in positions that i physically CANNOT do for over an hour - I have no idea how many times she came - she was even in tears a few times (though she never once told him to stop).

He asked her if she was on the pill and when she said she was on the patch, he told her that he was going to cum inside of her to mark her - which only made her cum again! when he finally came, he had Amy on her back, her legs shaking violently as they both came together - and true to his word, Sergey dumped his seed deep up inside my girlfriend's pussy right in front of me. But fuck - he didn't even lose his damn hard on! They fucked for about another 40 minutes and he came twice more. Amy was a wreck by the time we all went to bed.

I will never forget the look on her face - like she was afraid of him and in love with him all at once - the whole time they fucked. She later told me that there were no words to describe it - it was incredible but even that didn't seem enough. To my knowledge they never fucked again and Amy and I dated for about another year before we finally broke up. I always wondered if she ended up with him or some other big dick guy.

But one thing I know for sure - she NEVER fucked me like she did Sergey and the things she said about Sergey - the way she looked at him - and the way she was around him after that night (almost shy and meek) convinced me that a big dick makes a difference.

Amy told me that she "HAD to respect him" even if she didn't like him...and that she almost felt like he "had a right to her". So there ya go.

[Anonymous No.12302643]

Support Liberty and Freedom
https://youtu.be/FeNYjYA2lVg

[Anonymous No.12302661]

>>12299310
This may be the best. The funny thing is that if someone has 100k$ to dump into high risk crypto tokens, he probably already made it and at this point he are just making himself poor again for the sake of keks and nihilism

[Anonymous No.12302813]

okay sirs... there's a vishnu living in the blockchain......

[Anonymous No.12302869]

>>12299241
lmfao linklets

[Anonymous No.12302919]

>>12299373
You did well man, survive.

[Anonymous No.12302932]

>>12299423
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vp-AmoY8CNA

[Anonymous No.12303894]

hands down the best fudpasta

[Anonymous No.12303941]

you are a MANIAC !

[Anonymous No.12303949]

- Sergeys failed project from the past (but its not a big deal, its just question of a competence)

- Grammar errors (unacceptable, like wtf is that ?)

- Fact that they are advertizing Etha as their partner and Etha looks like complete scam (If it really is it will hurt their image)

- Not sure how the 35% going to "Node Operators and to Incentivize the Ecosystem” will be distributed

- The ICO Controversy, not using a smart contract and by the time the ICO was opened to the public, only $3mil of tokens were left - far fewer than promoted.

- Very very low community communication (great events, but same presentation, zero information about progress, (pivotal is stupid, there are task scheduled to be finished at the top for months without any progress) no medium articles discussing tech and implementation for developers, no eoy18 message from Sergey like in 2017) (but maybe /biz/ autists and meme spammers are the reason)

- All these breadcrumbs are real but at the end of the day it wont matter because all these breadcrumbs are only because of tech companies were researching and trying to understand blockchain/dlt systems and wont adopt it because of this and this, we are super early but we know zero shit if it will be implemented, we have nice articles on how this and this can be better with blockchains but it doesnt matter... what matter is those big companies that will adopt this technology and we spamming fat and nazi sergeys to executives is not helping this case for sure

[Anonymous No.12304532]

>>12300002
Mid rank colonel hope we all make it

[Anonymous No.12304702]

No other coin has this much fud. That should tell you something.

[Anonymous No.12304715]

>>12299241
I feel really sorry for Sergey. All he wanted to do was exit scam and live a life of luxury, but Link acquired a fanbase of highly autistic neo Nazis who follow his every move. Chances are they'll find and kill him and his family if he exit scams because they know his every move and everyone he talks to. Now he has to pretend to make an actual product but since he's a philosophy graduate he can't make anything other than a JSON parcer in PHP stolen from a USB he found in the toilets of Swift HQ (where he was living until he got thrown out for crawling under occupied stalls and begging people to buy chainlink). He spends every day eating to take away the pain. Rory plays along to keep food on the table for his wife's black son (Sergey throws him the McDonalds leftovers). It must be a hard life. Sad!

[Anonymous No.12304957]

Schütze checking in from Volgastrand. 17 LINKY safe

[Anonymous No.12305030]

>>12299478

[Anonymous No.12305332]

>>12299332

The trademark logos aren't part of this pasta and ruins the tone. Idiot

[Sgt.Armadillo !!2aLqnM7j4Lf No.12305393]

>>12301846

I love that I'm in this. I hope link succeeds just so that the insane array of memes and larps from this era are enshrined in history.

[Dumping rare pastas No.12305424]

>>12301548
I'm a Muslim man but I have to admit that pregnant Sergey really turns me on. I keep fantasizing about putting my seed inside him and watching new life grow... We get married, he gives birth, and we raise that baby under the blessings of Allah. I want to hold hands with Sergey, and looking into his eyes say 'I love you.' I think of myself taking our son to his first day at school, watching that strong and masculine boy develop amazing computer skills like his dad.

Sergey would be the ideal partner for any man wishing to start a family. His great genes give him a combination of assertiveness, strength, and intelligence. If Sergey is able to get pregnant, he has to have a uterus; if he has a uterus, he can only be a woman in the eyes of Allah. ALLAHU AKHBAR!!!

Ok, I can't hide this anymore. It's coming from deep inside of me... this desire to shout...

I'M A GAY MUSLIM AND I HOLD CHAINLINK! Yes, and I am not the only one. I was attracted to this community because of the feeling of brotherhood that it creates. Together we are one. We are above gender divisions and categories. Chainlink, as you know, is a gay sex position where men stick their dicks into each other's asses to form a link.

Today, I declare Chainlink to be the currency of the LGBT community.

I'M GAY AND I HOLD CHAINLINK. YES! I'M GAY AND I LOVE SERGEY! WOW! I'M GAY AND YOU ARE TOO! TOGETHER, WE ARE GAY LINKIES AND NOTHING CAN STOP US!

I'M GAY! AND I LOVE TO SAY IT! I'M GAY, I'M GAY, I'M GAY AND I WORSHIP SERGEY! CHAINLIK! CHAINLIK! CHAINLIK!

NO MORE CHAINS, JUST LINKS!
NO MORE CHAINS, JUST LINKS!
NO MORE CHAINS, JUST LINKS!

[Anonymous No.12305479]

>>12299241
>>12299252
Yes, go back to your make-believe bubble where everything is set for you to have the life you always wanted and the only thing you need to do is trust someone else to solve it all. There is nothing for you to do, just wait. It will all get better once you make it. Your parents will be proud of you and look up to you. Your friends will respect you and want to be in your life more often. You'll find love, be sure of it. Once you've uncovered who you really are after acquiring your wealth people will agree with you: You're the best! You’re so smart! You’re so lucky! I am so lucky to have met you, I'm always going to be by your side, and I love you. I love you. Maybe she does and maybe she won't leave. Maybe your new and old friends like you all the same and do care for you. Maybe your parents do think they did a great job raising you. Or maybe you don't have anyone at all. Even better then, because once you make it none of this will matter.

That's because everything you've dreamed of being depends on only one decision. Would you’ve made it if it wasn't for this? Would you’ve made it if you didn't risk being a fool for a year or two before whatever scam you're attached to succeeded? I don't think so and you don't think so either.

That's why you're still here, looking for yet another clue to lay back and be calm while you wait for the day when the rest of your life can truly begin. Keep waiting.

[Anonymous No.12305517]

Municipal marmalade makes mustafa mad.