life advice

[Anonymous No.11942187]

>27
>60k in 401k, 80k stox, 45k crypto, 12k savings
>85k salary
>girlfriend wants to settle down and get married
>bad performance review at programming job
>need to apply for new jobs and im retarded
>depressed and distracted at work because my coworkers all hate me
>want to purge life and run away

how did doomers become bloomers? i am going straight boomer/tomber/suicde

[Anonymous No.11942214]

suck dick

[Anonymous No.11942225]

>>11942187
Maybe don't ask for life advice on a Chinese cartoon imageboard

[Anonymous No.11942231]

>>11942187
Why do your coworkers all hate you? How did you land a programming job if you're so retarded? What exactly do you do at your job, and what's so hard about it?

[Anonymous No.11942234]

>>11942187
you got like $200k, just live within your means. pretty easy to get a house, married, have a kid or two with your braphog

[Anonymous No.11942296]

>>11942187
Get a vyvanse prescription so you stop sucking at your job

[Anonymous No.11942380]

>>11942231
>why do your coworkers all hate you?
because i am slow at work, and it reflects poorly on the team. they think im nice but they are frustrated with me and want me to leave

>how did you land a programming job if you're so retarded
i actually test very well in math (800 math sat) but i am only superficially intelligent. good at tests and my brain works well with new things, breezed through a prestigious college the same way

> What exactly do you do at your job, and what's so hard about it?
java/angular massive application
1. all the different infrastructure that people change and i dont notice until it affects me, then it delays me and my manager sees i always mention it - he said i need to understand the infrastructure better and stop relying on others to troubleshoot it
2. i dont know the applications well enough after being there 5 years, people my age or younger are at my same level of productivity
3. have i tried hard enough at this issue before asking for help? i always fuck it up and take too long on something i shouldve asked for help on, or ask too early and the architect asks why i am asking him to do my work
4. i say something is really close to being done, but i didnt realize that x,y,z are essential to finishing the story
5. i accept a complex story that could take two sprints for a normal developer, i take 3. i sit on it for awhile because i dont know or remember technologies within the application then my bosses boss gets frustrated when the story carries so much. this has happened many times

in general im just a lazy retard and my brain is fake.

[Anonymous No.11942385]

>>11942380
>but i am only superficially intelligent. good at tests and my brain works well with new things, breezed through a prestigious college the same way
What the fuck does this even mean

[Anonymous No.11942401]

>>11942380
I know that feel, I can make shit work but there are just too many libraries, nothing has a schematic or diagrams and it's just a mix of files. Yet I'm suppose to know how it all goes together. I get panic attacks thinking about my future and coding...

[Anonymous No.11942415]

>>11942380
Have you tried going to a psychologist or something to see if it's ADHD or something similar that can be solved with pills or therapy?

Otherwise, try shifting into a less demanding programming job that doesn't require you to work as hard. Maybe not even directly programming - IT, data analysis, whatever. There may or may not be a pay cut, but the lack of stress is probably worth it.

[Anonymous No.11942442]

>>11942296
>vyvanse
is this better worse than adderal, ritalin, provigil?

[Anonymous No.11942465]

>>11942385
2200 something on the 3 part SATs, forget the exact score, which is really high. i do well on tests, especially when proofs or partial credit is involved.

>>11942401
well you havent failed yet, you might succeed. you havent been doing it for 5 years with clear evidence that you are bad at it

i cant troubleshoot shit on a computer either, i did programming because it seemed like the easiest, surface level maths but its all people who are disciplined and shit

[Anonymous No.11942468]

>>11942380
honestly, not even joking here: you sound depressed and lost in life. You need to look for deeper meaning, find the joy and purpose in existence. No joke, go to church, start praying, start talking to God, ask him to help you out and tell him you'd like him to guide you.

If you let him, I guarantee things will get better.

[Anonymous No.11942476]

>>11942385
he's smart as fuck at learning and shit thats clearcut but not as much in a practical way, which requires a different intelligence.

this sucks because he's probably like "i'm a genius" but then he is outperformed by relatively stupid people so he's like "i'm a retard"

[Anonymous No.11942484]

>>11942187
Lmao. Tomber. I love it. Get some doom metal down you, OP. I recommend Draconian.

[Anonymous No.11942492]

>>11942465
Scoring above 2200/2400 on the SAT and not being able to troubleshoot a computer is rather interesting. Why can't you troubleshoot? Do you forget things that you should know in order to troubleshoot, or do you get frustrated easily, or do you not approach the matter systematically?

You're not a straight-up stupid person, which is why I suspect a psychological diagnosis and treatment might be possible.

[Anonymous No.11942517]

>>11942468
yo i'm sorry but this is terrible advice.. It might click if OP is religious, but if he isn't, it will not.

You can't just force someone to believe in god and pray and shit, its kinda like a personality trait. For some people god is clearly real and an actuality, but for actual intelligent people it's like a joke that makes no sense

[Anonymous No.11942526]

>>11942187
leave the gf

[Anonymous No.11942530]

>>11942380
You are too high IQ(>160IQ) and suited to long term "big picture" planning, most programming is medium IQ(120-140IQ) tedious bugman shit

[Anonymous No.11942649]

>>11942296
>>11942415
every time i see a psychologist i lie to them, or if i am somewhat truthful they try really hard to push meds on me, usually antipsychotics or SSRIs. ive seen at least six since graduating high school. a few in college and two since graduating college.

unfortunately with ADHD drugs i try to stay away from them because i abuse them. my mom is an alcoholic and ive been straightedge for a few years. rather stay that way.

>>11942468
no religion here, sorry

>>11942476
yeah, thats why i said my brain is fake. i can anticipate what people are going to say/write pretty well despite being socially retarded and poor at asserting myself. it helps on tests because tests try to lead you to the answer, it is more collaborative. practical stuff like shopping, computer troubleshooting, buying health insurance, it takes me hours to do basic things. i just wont do it.

>>11942492
all my instincts about it are wrong.

> Do you forget things that you should know in order to troubleshoot
my semantic memories are stupid factoids that are interesting in conversations and make me appear intelligent but i have no practical use. my managers that are vaguely interested in softer/middlebrow philosophy love talking to me, my bosses boss is former marine that loves sports, and doesnt give a fuck about anything besides work. which honestly is more admirable than what i am.

i forget basic things like unix/vim commands that i use weekly to troubleshoot our cloud instances, basic javascript comparisons, reread the same specs every other day because i forget, my coworker reminds me to do unit tests almost every single pull request. this is with a couple lists on my desk instructing me what to do.

> or do you get frustrated easily
i do but being emotionally weak is not an excuse, i was looking more for advice.

i can troubleshoot somewhat, i am just quite slow, if i need to do it, it can take a half day

[Anonymous No.11942670]

>>11942187
So you have 12k in gold right? When you say 12k in savings.

If you don't you are exposing yourself to a currency collapse for no reason with the nice assets you have already

[Anonymous No.11942678]

>>11942517
"actual and intelligent people"

darling, you have no idea how wrong you are, but whatever. Do whatever floats your boat. You want to live without God, that's your choice. In the meantime I'll continue telling people that joy, happiness, and a road out of depression waits on the other side, you don't have to join the party if you don't want to.

[Anonymous No.11942725]

>bad performance review at programming job
>depressed and distracted at work because my coworkers all hate me
What made you this way anon? Why are you such an unlikable cunt?

[Anonymous No.11942729]

>>11942649
Okay, you're probably going to ignore my advice, but here it is, in two parts:

Go to a psychologist, and tell the truth. Focus specifically on your inability to focus and complete certain intellectual tasks. If they suggest antipsychotics or SSRIs, listen to them, reflect on their reasons for wanting to make that prescription, and then do as you see fit. Honestly I think you have some kind of ADHD. If you're worried about abusing those drugs as about other non-drug treatments.

The part where you said that your semantic memories are stupid factoids is interesting. If those "stupid factoids" are about topics that are personally interesting to you then maybe you're just extremely unmotivated, in which case you should try to switch careers - not drastically, but try to identify a target career and find a job that's close to that than your current job, and so on.

[Anonymous No.11942796]

>>11942385

Just sounds to me like you would work best in a smaller company. Less mental overhead coordinating with other developers.

My email is [e-mail] if you would like a comfy work from home part time job. Not hiring until Feb though.

[Anonymous No.11942803]

>>11942649
>i forget basic things
are you on ambien?

[Anonymous No.11942910]

You have an impressive amount save for someone your age, kiss as much ass as you can to try and save face and then quit before they can fire you and just NEET it up for a few months and work on yourself meditate, lift, diet etc.