/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.11768892]

>Another day, another dollar- am I right Anon?
>Can you rerun the numbers for Wisconsin? Their account team had a fire drill over the weekend. I want everything to be ticked & tied by EOB for tomorrow's presentation
>Can we revise marketing analytics in the deck? I don't think we have the story we want to tell
>Hello Anon, per our conversation I wanted to circle back and touch base offline. I sent you an invite after checking your calender. Ping me if that doesn't work, I'll try to make the stars align
>Anon here will be your go to SME, but Frank will be your general POC

[Anonymous No.11768956]

>>Can you rerun the numbers for Wisconsin? Their account team had a fire drill over the weekend. I want everything to be ticked & tied by EOB for tomorrow's presentation
>>Can we revise marketing analytics in the deck? I don't think we have the story we want to tell
>>Hello Anon, per our conversation I wanted to circle back and touch base offline. I sent you an invite after checking your calender. Ping me if that doesn't work, I'll try to make the stars align
>>Anon here will be your go to SME, but Frank will be your general POC
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[Anonymous No.11768979]

>>11768892

fucking god DAMN IT I don't want to go to WORK today

[Anonymous No.11768981]

>>11768892
>Oh hey anon X couldn't come in today, could you run through your zone and give us a hand over there?

[Anonymous No.11769034]

>2 hours left until weekend
perfect

[Anonymous No.11769359]

>>11768892
“Deck”

This fucking triggered me, good job Op.

[Anonymous No.11769409]

>That all make sense? Clear as mud?

[Anonymous No.11769481]

>>11768892
Fuck anon that's is like literally taken from my work.

I am on fucking sick leave and I worked yest. 4 hours from home.

>Anon please do X we need it urgently for right now.
>Have you prepared for this event as its happening after 4?
>Anon we need to start thinking about this event what's your imput we need to make the call tomorrow.

[Anonymous No.11769507]

>>11768892
My boss ignores and hates me, its awesome she doesnt even give me work to do lol

[Anonymous No.11769602]

>TFW Blue Collar Chad and have no idea what any of this means.

[Anonymous No.11769954]

>>11768892
>>11769481
>letting literal NPCs waste your entire life

OH NO NO NO AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

[Anonymous No.11769972]

>>11769602
>thinking being in physical pain going to bed every night and waking up sore is appealing

[Anonymous No.11769999]

>>11768892
Something my boss tells me everyday and it really annoys me is “stay at it.” Like, he’ll find me working on something, kicking ass, making him money and after we talk he’ll say ok “stay at it.” As though he’s giving me some sort of kick in the pants to keep working hard. I’ve started replying to him with “I always do.” But it seems to have no effect.

[Anonymous No.11770129]

>>11769972
How do i explain this
You qre much better off working medium manual labor for 8 hours a day than working 8 hours seated, even if you gym after.
You claiming that every manual laborer is in physical pain indicates that youre a massive pussy whose hands would dissolve if you used them to do work for a day

[Anonymous No.11770180]

>>11770129
kek

[Anonymous No.11770213]

>>11768892
I just disclosed my crypto interest at my workplace. Prepped to leave if things go south.

[Anonymous No.11770407]

>>11770129
this

[Anonymous No.11770439]

>work in data analysis
>super lax boss, can leave early or show up late whenever
>no one bothers me
>no one talks to me
>it's just me and these spreadsheets
>time moves faster and faster
the loneliness is killing me

[Anonymous No.11770499]

>>11770129
Yeah, have you ever stood up for 8 hours on reinforced working boots? I'd imagine yes if you posted that. You get used to it, but before I stopped feeling anything I got my feet destroyed and my legs and neck felt like shit after every shift. I agree that it's still better than sitting all day, but you just have to eat less to maintain your figure. Now I work in office and I miss manual labor, man is made to do both.

[Anonymous No.11770511]

>>11770129
My friend you may not be in pain right now but physically demanding jobs will take a toll on you. My father has been working as a foreman for a roofing company for 20ish years now and he has to go to the chiropractor every once in a while so that they can fix his back enough for him to go back to work.

[Anonymous No.11770558]

>>11770511
impossible to hurt back when lifting properly
it's all in the legs, so it's your dads fault

[Anonymous No.11770584]

>>11770511
>every once in a while
so your dad works in one of the hardest trades and still rarely only goes to the chiro? do you know how many corporate cucks go to the chiro weekly?

[Anonymous No.11770626]

Sounds like living hell

[Anonymous No.11770944]

The bay is burning so I work from home today.

[Anonymous No.11771023]

>>11770944
>he didnt swim through frigid waters, climb a mound that is insurmountable to anyone that isnt a hardcore mountaineer, and then walk 5 miles - soaking wet - to go the extra distance and give 110%
anon we like people who think outside the box here. you were already 2 minutes late in January 2016, how do you still expect us to give you a raise?

[Anonymous No.11771369]

>>11770511
Chiro is quackery my friend.

[Anonymous No.11772009]

is life just suffering?

[Anonymous No.11772318]

>do really simple work within an ITSM platform
>nobody else in my department understands what I do, but a guy with a high school education could learn my job within 3 weeks
>sporadically work and do releases, otherwise just dick around on phone
>manager literally just walked up to me while I was scrolling through /biz/ clapped me on the back, and congratulated me on this release I did this morning

Get a job in the IT department of a fortune 100 company, boomers suck at IT so if you're mildly competent you can just fuck around and they think you're amazing

[Anonymous No.11772509]

>Hey Anon, I just wanted to touch base regarding our KPIs for October. Right now we're trending 3 points below SLA. I'm gonna need you to schedule a TH to address this. Make sure to tap the TLs give them the keys we went over yesterday. Don't forget to add it to the distro so there's no confusion. Thanks bud.

WELCOME TO YOUR LIFE

[Anonymous No.11772523]

>>11769602
Well I don't know what it's like to have a herniated disc so I guess we're even.

[Anonymous No.11772534]

>>11769999
its actual autism. just ignore it

[Anonymous No.11772670]

>We're going to implement an agile framework

[Anonymous No.11772727]

>>11769359
kek

[Anonymous No.11772741]

>>11772318
what kind of degree do you need for a job like that?

[Anonymous No.11772758]

>>11772670
This shit drives me insane.

>dev
>work for a fortune 500 agile company
>agile means we set 10 goals a year and achieve 0
>agile means we spend weeks discussing technical concepts, make a decision, forget about it and then revise it 3 weeks later because we're agile and we're agile so we're agile so we adapt so we can say we're agile

[Anonymous No.11772992]

I'm on a multi month sabbatical before assuming my new job where I'll be making $220K per year working on high performance backend systems which is my passion.

Being a NEET is pointless when you can just live like me.

[Anonymous No.11772993]

>>11772741
nobody cares about degrees in tech. its all about experience and certs.

[Anonymous No.11773005]

>I'm tracking. Are you tracking anon? We need to be tracking.

[Anonymous No.11773039]

>>11772741
My degree was in management information systems (education was 80% business school stuff, 20% technical skills)
>>11772993
I had 0 of either prior to entering my job. I got a full time offer from my company after interning for them while I was still in school

[Anonymous No.11773051]

>>11772993
In America this is true. In order for me to work abroad in IT I need to get a bachelors. So I have a great job here just on certs and I plan to earn a bachelors, just to go to nip land and be away from nogs and Mexicans.

[Anonymous No.11773111]

>>11773039
I’m gonna look into it, thanks anon

[Anonymous No.11773202]

>>11769999
Its his way of saying you are doing a good jawb. -_-

[Anonymous No.11773206]

I have a cushy govt job where I do nothing and make $20 an hour. Next week Artifact beta releases and ill be playing it 8 hours a day getting paid.

[Anonymous No.11773562]

>>11772992
Sure anon.

[Anonymous No.11773599]

>>11773206
what degree do you have

[Anonymous No.11773604]

>>11773599

None

[Anonymous No.11773651]

>>11769602
I know that feel. Currently in welding school, gonna make more than most office drones in my cuntry and I'm likely to travel abroad and leave my shithole country once I get enough experience. How can someone live most of their lives working in an office?

>>11769972
>>11772523
You guys probably don't even have 10 years of sitting in an office chair otherwise you would know the pains long term office drones suffer. Blue collar jobs at least are meaningful. 90% of white collar stuff is unnecessary regulatory-compliant BS that will eventually be discarded once the age of functional smart contracts comes over.

[Anonymous No.11773729]

>>11773604
damn good work

[Anonymous No.11773738]

22yr here, majored in IT.
My dad wants me to apply to a good IT job using the skills he paid 120k for, and I want to get a sales position so I can actually make money.

Not looking for advice just want to complain!!

[Anonymous No.11774271]

>>11773738
Go on sales for a couple years and then open your own business with the marketing and IT experience you have by then. At least that's what I'd do.

Also pay back your father's money you fucking leech.

[Anonymous No.11774942]

>>11773651
>you probably don't even have 10 years sitting in an office chair

[Anonymous No.11775575]

>be lawfag at a small firm
>the newest lawfag
>zoomer assistant quit two weeks ago and I inherit his tasks while we find a new one
I'm dying but I like it

[Anonymous No.11775710]

>>11769972
Fucking kek what a pussy. All life is suffering, get used to it; It must be all that shitty estrogen you're surrounded by.

T. former white collar anon turned blue collar union chad

[Anonymous No.11775747]

>>11768892

>can you give me a rundown on what our projected sprint velocity looks like?
>we need to find out how to increase value add for the problem owners
>revise the story point estimate of that ticket, Frank thinks it could be a noop

[Anonymous No.11775755]

>>11772318

>browsing a 4chan at work where people disregard blue boards

Careful anon

[Anonymous No.11775785]

>>11770439
That sounds fantastic. Wtf are you talking about anon

[Anonymous No.11775793]

>>11775710
I'm thankful my feet don't hurt when I go to bed after work, 4 summers of that shit was enough.

[Anonymous No.11775824]

>>11770511
>CHIROPRACTOR
The absolute state
>>11771369
At least someone said it.

[Anonymous No.11775827]

>>11772670
Fuck you, Agile is good

[Anonymous No.11775871]

>>11775827
dexlets will never learn

[Anonymous No.11776162]

>>11775827
To be fair, most "Agile" companies fuck up the process & just end up doing a less organized Waterfall.

[Anonymous No.11776249]

>>11772318
r u me

[Anonymous No.11776302]

>>11772318
>Mfw got fired for browsing 4chan at work
Another job it is then I guess. Fuck this life.

[Anonymous No.11776467]

>be engineer at a defence company
>we have to follow the customer's (government) processes
>so everything is slow, inefficient and boring
>literally takes two years to do a simple drawing change
Please kill me. People on /biz/ act like they want an easy job with nothing to do, but it's absolute hell. I spend easily 6 hours a day just trying to look busy, even though I have nothing to do because I'm waiting on the fifth person to sign some stupid document that only provides permission to change another document. I take three half-hour shits a day just so that I can have a tiny bit of privacy away from the open plan office and read 4chan.

[Anonymous No.11776476]

>>11768892
[
I don't know who you are OP, but I love your wage cage threads.

[Anonymous No.11776498]

>>11776467
>open plan office
FUCK THIS SHIT. GIVE ME A CUBICLE REEEEEEEEE

[Anonymous No.11776532]

>>11772009

The majority of it yes. You only get to choose the type of suffering you want.

[Anonymous No.11776581]

>>11775747

FUCK SCRUM AND FUCK AGILE.

[Anonymous No.11776605]

>>11770511
Your dad is a little bitch. You should be ashamed of your faggot dad.

[Anonymous No.11776876]

>>11776302
story?

[Anonymous No.11776909]

>Work four days a week
>Active all day so the day moves exceedingly fast
>Good pay
>Work never follows me into the evenings or weekends

Feels good man

[Anonymous No.11776913]

>>11769507
That means you’re about to be fired dumbass

[Anonymous No.11776916]

>>11776581

[Anonymous No.11777180]

>>11768892
>work in IT
>get literally none of this
we have our own problems, but it's not this normie speak

[Anonymous No.11777209]

>>11777180
I work in IT and I hear this all the time

[Anonymous No.11777237]

>>11777209
really how? For me it's stuff like
>anon they're seeing app slowness again, make sure we're not taking any packetloss
>can we check routing in the core? Make sure nothing is flapping
>anon idiots are trying to use 2.4Ghz wireless, tell them we only support business devices on 5ghz