/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.11591524]

>Work as Continuous Delivery Dev in medium sized company
>Browse /biz/ and play FTL with IT half the day, spend the other half sorta managing the projects I've set up, occasionally adding onto them for shitz n gigglez
>Arrive 30 mins late and leave 30 mins early every day
>HR walks to my desk this morning, tells me the CEO needs to see me
>About 4 devs let go in the last month over menial bullshit
>start to panic
>nervously walk into CEO's office
>HR lady asks if the CEO wants her to stay
>he says "it'd be best if you were here for this"
>I'm sweating bullets and she looks visibly nervous for me
>he congratulates me on my work here at the company, revolutionizing client deliver, etc etc
>shit my pants and muster out "th... thank you sir"
>Gives me an 8% pay increase and shakes my hand
>Shocked by entire situation
>Walk out of the office, return to my desk, proceed to boot up FTL to calm down
>Realize what just happened
>MFW

How are you inbreds not able to do this? Working in development is so fucking easy. Honestly if you are a neet you're wasting free money, you could be doing the same shit and getting paid for an absolute minimum amount of effort.

[Anonymous No.11591557]

>>11591524
Just got back from my 1 1/2 hour lunch at Chipotle, I think I'll ask IT for a shiny new powershell tool to fuck around with so I can "more optimize" our Jenkins server . Or maybe I'll use it to prank IT by unmapping their network drives whenever they open visual studio. What do you think /biz/?

[Anonymous No.11591842]

What is continious delivery dev. What degree and experience did you have when you got this job? Any tips for starting plebs? How to fuck the selection process in the mouth and get the job. Sexplain pls sensei.

[Anonymous No.11591875]

>>11591524
Did you have to do a takehome project + four hours of whiteboarding? I tried getting a dev job, but it's too nuch hassle.

[Anonymous No.11591903]

>>11591875
just ask them to pay you for the project retard

[Anonymous No.11591921]

>>11591524

Nothing about this appealing.

[Anonymous No.11591925]

>>11591903
>sorry but we've decided to pursue other candidates at this time

[Anonymous No.11591982]

>>11591524
>used to work part time in IT
>always let, went home early
>get told its not fair by management
>so now clocking in and out using vpn access to the work pc and all is good
>realize i dont even have to work any more so just quit

thank you Link, sincerely

[Anonymous No.11592028]

>>11591925
good. maybe if you developers grew a backbone and rejected work without pay they wouldnt do that, now would they?

[Anonymous No.11592085]

>>11591842
Sorry, It would have been more accurate for me to say DevOPS. I create systems that allow for many developers to work together on one project, make sure none of the code breaks eachother, and help facilitate deployments to our clients. edx.org is a good resource for cheap/ free education on the matter. Look at their DevOPS programs, real simple stuff. Building my systems and setting up the Server builds these releases was the hardest part - now I just maintain and sip coffee

[Anonymous No.11592111]

>>11591842
I'm finishing my bachelors in cybersecurity - looks like I'm more of a Infrastructure Dev though. I'm somewhere between developer and IT but I only really work with Azure, not much hardware these days. I'm very young and getting into this field early was a godsend.

[Anonymous No.11592150]

>>11591524
But that's what I plan to do soon anon, I spend all my time in the computer, might as well shitpost IRL

[Anonymous No.11592177]

>>11592085
so you installed a private git? How fucking hard can that be? You're a pleb tier dev

[Anonymous No.11592218]

Fellow devops engineer here, don't let everybody in on our secret. We need to keep this cash cow going for as long as possible.

[Anonymous No.11592267]

>>11592177
I guess you're the real pleb tier dev who works for a shitty small scale company that doesn't need an automated continuous integration pipeline and therefore doesn't understand what it is.

[Anonymous No.11592349]

>>11592267
thanks for the backup chief
theres a lot of work that goes into setting up these automated and templated systems. I turned the job of an entire IT team into the job of 1 lazy dev with automatic delivery and a well implemented system. Way of the future brother.

I've nugetized many of our products to allow us to cater to many different clients with different specific needs with updates at the click of a button rather than a massive downtime and deployment cycle.