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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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11581744 No.11581744 [Reply] [Original]

Anybody here ever tried printing money or using counterfeit money?

How do i print money?

>> No.11581750

Yeah

>> No.11581858

No mister officer I never didn’t that Before and I wouldn’t

>> No.11581869

>>11581744

no I have never printed money, neither had the idea to even Google such heinous and illegal practice. I think counterfeiters should receive the death penalty.

>> No.11581907

Ask the federal reserve, they print counterfeit money all the time.

>> No.11581920

>>11581744
no sir i never did that this is very bad sir

>> No.11581924
File: 16 KB, 212x234, A567DE30-DDFF-4527-A633-22B397AB2653.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11581924

>>11581869
Very good! We are very proud of you abiding to our system goyim!

>> No.11581928

>>11581744
nice try fbi

>> No.11581935

>>11581744
i did in darkrp

>> No.11581947

When I was 13 I used my moms new scanner to scan and print a $5 bill. the coloring was off, more purple than green, and the back side of the bill was upside down. I took it to school the next day and thought it would be funny to try to buy something from the candy store. (my school had a closet full of candy that they opened up as a store during lunch....this was early 90's). Motherfucker actually took it, gave me candy and change back so I pocketed it as a win and walked away. Hour later I'm in the principles office and they're threatening to call the FBI on me. They ended up just suspending me for a week.
true story biz....printing money is bad mmmkay.

>> No.11581952
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11581952

I'm keep getting this error

>> No.11581961

>>11581744
Even if you morally don't care it's not worth the risk.. you are fucking big time with the state and they will fuck big time with you.

>> No.11581970
File: 99 KB, 750x521, 456765.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11581970

>>11581935
>>11581952

could you go into more detail, i am not sure if I follow.

>> No.11581973

>>11581935
Tigress gaming is the best server

>> No.11581983

>>11581952
Yes copying banknotes is illegal but the fact that it detects the image and stops it shows that they can stop us from doing illegal memeing if they wanted to

>> No.11582013

>>11581744
Doing it on daily basis fren.

>> No.11582091

>>11581744
Glow in the dark CIA NIGGER certified thread

>> No.11582115

>>11581744
I got some "non-shredded" money from tor, while fully expecting this to be a scam. It wasn't.
I felt a bit bad about it, but then I stopped caring.
Would buy again if it weren't for the fact that I'm scared that next time I buy they would just fuck me over and not send anything.

>> No.11582137

>>11581970
some one photoshop biz memes on all the screens. Dont forget to include all the link memes too

>> No.11582149

People would rather sell drugs than try to make counterfeit money. That should tell you something.

>> No.11582169
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11582169

>>11581947
same but i just dropped them on the train kek

>> No.11582174
File: 381 KB, 1468x1468, xLj31lah.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11582174

I accepted fake money when i was a cashier. It looked real and. I was in a union so even if management founf out i wouldn't be fired

>> No.11582194

>>11581744

Janitor at my HS made $20 bills using the school copier. He couldn't figure out double sided copying so he'd copy one side, then the other, and taped them together. I'll give you one guess what his skin color was.

>> No.11582224

>>11581744
i looked into it pretty extensively when i was like 14. for first world countries, any printer made after 1990 or something wont print pictures of money from the internet. it has inbuilt scanner to see if its money your trying to print. so first you have to buy pre 1990 printer. then once you have it printed out you leave it to soak in some kind of acid. then you can get the consistency of real money. next is heat gluing on the tinfoil to get the shine. then watermarking in a dark room for a few days. after that you leave to dry out and you have fake money...

thats for UK currency. idk about US currency etc. still, i wouldnt do it. Its literally treason and you can go to jail for some ridiculous amount of time like 20+ years.

>> No.11582266

>>11581970
Photoshop doesn't allow you to edit banknote images.

>> No.11582272

>>11581744
In Romania they use plastic money, not paper

>> No.11582321

>>11581744
>>11581869
For hundreds of years kings always deemed counterfeiting their currency as most heinous, equal to a serial killer. Death penalty was always the product. In modern times, I'm sure you'd be in a white collar prison for a long time.

>> No.11582382
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11582382

>>11581744
yo guy just scan da money and press print, then do the other side, boom, money printer

>> No.11582429

It's difficult, nearly impossible, to get the right paper.

>> No.11582432

>>11581744
Why blacks always work these cushy federal government jobs?

>> No.11582471

>>11581869

So FED should receive the death penalty?

>> No.11582615

>>11582429
what's so special about that kind of paper, if literally trillions of it exists? what's so difficult in making it the exact same way? the gobment has money printing machines, what's so difficult in making one ur self? or assembling a team to do it.

>> No.11582730
File: 14 KB, 200x200, tether-logo.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11582730

>>11581744

>> No.11582814

>>11582272
>not paper
USD is made of cotton fibers.

>> No.11583164

guy I knew who dealt drugs used to give fake $20's as change. If he had done it sparingly AND not tried to pay off his front using the fakes it would have worked. Well the big dealer found out and this guy had to move to Florida, been a decade and he still hasnt been back since

>> No.11583215

>>11581907
kek

>> No.11583503

>>11581947
>threatening a child with the FBI
How do I short America? You cunts are INSANE... IN FUCKING SANE I am genuinely scared for your fate America

>> No.11583561

>>11581744
The secret service has a catalog of every type of ink and paper just so they can catch brainlets like you

>> No.11583574

>>11582115
I'd more worry about the fact that if you're caught with it you're facing some serious charges

>> No.11583575

>>11583561
Only the Federal Reserve can counterfeit us dollars silly rabbit

>> No.11583714
File: 74 KB, 499x499, FBIPepe.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11583714

>>11581744
Hello fellow agent

>> No.11583733

Don’t do it OP. The criminal penalties are absolutely insane. You can get 20-life in a Federal prison (no parole) even for the weakest, unprofitable attempts at countetfeiting.

>> No.11583756

>>11582224
The newer printers and scanners will send a message to the government if an image of a banknote was detected.

>> No.11583776

>>11581744
Just buy an ASIC

>> No.11583831

>>11581744

If you print it good enough that it meets all standards, it becomes legitimate currency. Some guy prints $2 notes that are deem legit. Steve Wozniak even has some.

>> No.11584831

>>11583831
costs $25 to print $2
how do I short this?

>> No.11584935

friend of mine bought a template to print 20's off of the dark net, he bought this paper at a craft store that was somewhere between printer paper and card stock. spent 100+ hours perfecting the template and a few hundred $$ on 2 different printers. the template was printed in parts so the programs didnt detect it as money, like you would print the background, then foreground, the the back of the bill was the same. anyways, after printing them and spraying with some clear spray paint then roughing them up a bit he would iron them so they seemed like they were used but crisp from an atm. passed them fairly easily for a few weeks then stopped. he only wanted to see that he could do it but did not want to continue because counterfeiting isn't worth it unless you're selling tons and tons of bills to other people - no money to be made using them yourself

>> No.11584991

>>11582194
Nig?

>> No.11585208

>>11583503
no kidding. I was a 13 year old kid playing a joke. that shit would have fucked my life up.

>> No.11586061

I made a batch of 20s in a scanner with decent paper. I used them at a strip club in Atlanta.

>> No.11586063

>>11584831
you get paid with 20+ years of free housing

>> No.11586251

>>11581947
I believe it

>> No.11586612

>>11582266
https://forums.adobe.com/thread/1877545
lmao

>> No.11586658

>>11581744
I was passed a very poorly xeroxed $10 at a drive thru window and they caught it at the DMV. They gave it back and I spent it at the drive thru that passed it to me.

>> No.11586713

>>11581961
They are already fucking with everyone.
They just single you out and shank you if you causin' murmurs in yo block knowm sayin

>> No.11586754

>>11581744
>dumb nig printing $1 bills
not going to make it

>> No.11587082

>>11582615
the issue is that those literal money making machines are expensive and huge. Keeping a giant counterfiting ring a secret would involve you not only finding a place to put the equipment but also keeping everyone quiet about it. You could grow your own cotton, weave it into dollar shaped strips, and paint it yourself, but doesn't all that sound ridiculous?

>> No.11587658

>>11582115
My pet gerbil wants to know what "non-shredded" notes are
If you tell me, Ill pass on this information
Information I obviously dont need to know myself ahaha

>> No.11587705

>>11581744
You can buy some very perfected $20 bills on the dark market. Buy a couple hundred of them at a time and spend them and merchants, don't try depositing them into the bank.

>> No.11587747

>>11581952
That probably wouldn't be hard to nop out to be honest, just use gimp if you can't RE.

>> No.11587810

Since I discovered crypto I read about some darknet stories how these guys bought some $100 bills that were absolutely perfect (from their description) and basically bought stuff at big fairs or some with bigger balls even went to walmart with them. I think the guy they bought from was called hebollah or something like that.

>> No.11587839

I once drew on the edge of a 50 eurocent coin with a silver marker, so it looked like a 2 euro coin
it was pretty cool

>> No.11587848

>>11582174
I got written up for it last week

>> No.11587868

>>11581744
>How do i print money?
Step 1 realise that you are a banker by definition
Step 2 bankers write 'accepted'across documents they want to keep, as this is the banking definition of accepted...
Step 3 ?????
step 4 Profit

>> No.11587959
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11587959

>>11581744
>Anyone here guilty of federal crimes? I need to hit my quota
Hi FBI.

>> No.11587973

why not print some money from a country noone knows and buy a shitton of gold or diamnds from there and smuggle it out

you could also fake tons of money from countries people dont know they exist go to a cash checking place and try to cash it in

OR, print a ton of fake $ and € travel to a 3rd world country and spend it in nightclubs on hookers- once these retads find out its fake you already left the money

there is tons of ways to create fake money but even more easier it is to create fake crypto

I can litereally sell you ethereum for half the price or any other coin on the market- you would be surprised on how good this works

>> No.11588798
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11588798

Try and die in prison.

>> No.11588878

>>11582194
Kek

>> No.11588910

>>11583503
Idk where you’re from, but it’s a VERY serious crime in most countries, not just the US.

>> No.11588917

Didn't read the rest of the thread so someone may have said something similar. Also this is a stupid idea and not worth it because of the legal and criminal consequences.

That said, there are many youtube videos of people doing "counterfeit" money prank/social experiments and if they get caught (or if the money is accepted) they just have a cameraman pop out and say this was a social experiment, everyone laughs, and he pays for real. The number of times the counterfeit cash gets accepted for real though is pretty intriguing (these are also pretty obviously real in most cases, i.e., not staged). It's not that hard to make a reasonable fascimile of money and get away with it especially with small notes.

>> No.11588929

>>11587810
Do you mean Hezbollah? Lol

>> No.11588930

>>11581744
Someone did it in my country and was only buying food and gas. Funny enough he was also caught and went to prison. Not worth the hassle desu.

>> No.11588950
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11588950

>>11581744
20 years ago I bough a color laser printer.
Went to a retarded country with it.
Washed chemically their 1 and 5 bills
Printed 20s and 50s.
Sodl it for 50% face value.
Made muh $1MM.
Retired since.

>> No.11588973

>>11581744

Fake EUR banknotes sell at 6% of fake value, while USD sells at 20% of face value.

Depending on quality of notes obviously

>> No.11589899

>>11588950
lies

proof or larp

>> No.11591211

I do counterfeit quarters for the unlimited snacks

practically a victimless crime and I'm already being punished in weight gains

>> No.11591305

>>11581952
Your info has already been sent to the fbi.

>> No.11591369

>>11586612
holy shit this is peak cuckery right there

>> No.11592635

>>11581858
>says mr officer
>has dea in his id
Is this a double bait??