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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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11548446 No.11548446 [Reply] [Original]

>first time dating girl after few times
>she wants to do it in a few days
>I've never shaved my public area before
>decide to grab the scissors and razor blade
>couldn't see the through the and accidentally cut it and begin to bleed alot.
>went to hospital and had them fix me up with a stitch and pain meds
>girl im seeing is now wondering why I won't have sex and I am too embarrassed to tell her
>she's now very angry at me and thinks I'm cheating on her. She doesn't even know I'm a Virgin.

I'm seriously so angry. What the fuck do I do? I didn't want to tell her I was a Virgin and I sure as shit don't want to say I cut my dick with scissors. Any advice guys? I'm trying to improve myself like you guy s said. I almost got there! Whatdo?

>> No.11548464
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11548464

>scissors

>> No.11548467

kek

>> No.11548485

>unironically shaving your junk
just trim it bro lmao

>> No.11548486

dumb ass you should've left your massive pubic forest. It would have made you look more intimidating.

>> No.11548508

>>11548446
Firstly, you should have used a beard trimmer just just trimmed in general, no point going bald eagle.
Second, just tell her you cut your dick trying to shave for your special night. Also, tell her you're a virgin and were very nervous.

>> No.11548509

>>11548486
That's what I do. Way better for hiding the herpes blisters as well. If they don't like it they can hop on some other dick

>> No.11548513
File: 58 KB, 1250x1250, BG2024_15-IMS-en_PK.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11548513

>> No.11548532

haven't seen this in a while

>> No.11548545

>>11548446
I wish I could go back to being a young guy with women actually interested in me and not a single man surrounded by married peers with no access to anything other than aging roasties with interracial children. I fucking wish being too afraid of telling a girl that actually wants me that I can't fuck her because I accidentally cut my dick was my biggest worry.

>> No.11549081
File: 303 KB, 1032x1242, 30yearoldcomic.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11549081

>>11548545
I thought men peaked in their 30s? Were the people on the internet lying to me?

>> No.11549110

>>11549081
It depends. I've had younger girls show interest in me, but I can't stand to be around dumb zoomer thots. They're like animals to me.

>> No.11549151

>>11548446
OP if you had just been honest and told her you would be in a much better situation. About the stitches and being a virgin. It sounds sappy but its the truth

>> No.11549173

>>11549151
This. Just be honest OP don't worry so much about it. You don't have to tell her you're a virgin but if you say you cut yourself by accident trying to clean up for her she might even think it's cute

>> No.11549174

>>11549081
Man peak at 30 because at 30 you're already rich. Or at least richer than with 20 years

>> No.11549203

>>11548446
I'm pretty sure this is a pasta because I seem to remember reading this before, but if not,
OP you dummy, tell the truth (you can leave out the fact that you're a virgin) but there's no reason not to and you have the hospital bills to prove it

>> No.11549212

>>11548446
Pic of injury or it didn't happen

>> No.11549226 [DELETED] 
File: 75 KB, 453x604, 5213_1218842275067_4074220_n.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11549226

Do femanons ever come on /biz/?

>> No.11549336

>>11548446
Tell her you just got circumcised for her.

>> No.11549430

>>11549174
>virgin through 20s
>get laid as poorfag boomer
each generation is less manly than the previous one, so betas of the 80s are more attractive than zoomers, and eventually everyone who makes the effort of going outside ends up getting laid

>> No.11549446

>scissors
>not razor

>> No.11549484

>>11548446
Communicate with your fictitious gf you dumb blithering fuck

>> No.11549488

>>11549203
It is pasta. I remember this post too

>> No.11549584

>>11548446
>1 post by this ID

>> No.11550001
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11550001

All these Newfags not recognizing the copypasta

>> No.11551012

>>11550001
Off by one...

>> No.11551305

>>11548532
right? The automated fear uncertainty and doubt threats are starting to recycle thanks to Cambridge Analytica beginning to change their program

>> No.11551735
File: 835 KB, 937x895, Off_by_one.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
11551735

>>11550001
oof