Deal of a LIFETIME!

[Anonymous No.1136964]

Who here remembers the infamous "Bitcoin pizza" story? A classic, right?

Well, I'm offering YOU the chance to go down in the annals of history as one of the greatest investors of all time, by giving you the enviable opportunity to purchase an authentic Papa Johns™ gift card valued at $25 USD, in exchange for your worthless magic internet tokens.

Folks, just think of the possibilities -- you're alone with the girl of your dreams, and you need to feed her quickly before she ditches you for an alpha male, with his full head of hair and the financial security to throw down on a couple Taco Bell Crunchwrap Supremes and never think twice about it, but all you have are internet meme tokens! I'm giving you the opportunity to go from zero to hero, instantly! You could be the man who gets the pizza and the girl. That could be you! And all for a few measly little internet meme coins.

You know, I'm really doing you all a favor, offering such a hot-ticket item for essentially nothing. Do you have ANY idea what a Somali kid would do to you for an authentic $25 Papa Johns gift card? Not a god damn thing, because that little jungle monkey would know a stone cold badass when he sees one. THAT is the power of the card.

For a paltry sum of just 50 ETH meme coins, we will start the bidding. Do I hear 51?

0xEEFEf0b77Ab2a6F9Ca15162A264C6a0f5c154321

[[e-mail] No.1137033]

>25 dollar gift card for the current equivlent of about 500+ USD worth of coin.
Maybe if it were 2 years ago, maybe.
As it stands, I wouldn't consider giving ETH to a descively noncoinner like you here.
Tell you what though, send me the card# and pin, if any, to my email, and I'll give ya 50 DOGE.
They're practically the same thing for ya.

[Anonymous No.1138004]

>>1137033
>DOGE
That's 2014's memecoin, Richard; get with the times.

This offer is only for HIGH TEST alpha males who want to get in on the ground floor of the pizza of their dreams. You seem like a Little Caesar's kinda guy, anyway, Richard.

[Anonymous No.1138046]

I'll give you 10 Ron Paul Coin for it.

[Anonymous No.1138074]

I've got an even better deal for you!

For just one (1) ounce of gold, you could have a starbucks gift card with $0.43 left on it! Think of the possibilities!

[Anonymous No.1138097]

>>1138004
>implying the low test high inhibition beta males arent the nocoiners amongst us.

[Anonymous No.1138109]

>>1138097
>spend real money on magical internet meme tokens
>high test
Pick one.

[Anonymous No.1138157]

I bid 55 ETH here. Please no one outbid me. I need this

[Anonymous No.1138160]

>>1136964
This shit is funny op.

Memecoiners are the /r9k/ of investment.

[Anonymous No.1138162]

>>1138109
>Begging people to buy pizza off you in some sort of failed attempt at a joke that isn't funny

>high test

M8

[Anonymous No.1138163]

>>1138162
Fuck off back to your magic card market to buy you imaginary coins cuck boy. You're the only one not laughing kek.

[Anonymous No.1138165]

>>1138163
You sound like a fucking girl! Lol

[Anonymous No.1138169]

>>1138162
>offering a life experience to basement memecoiners
>not a high test trump-tier alpha
kek

>>1138165
>memecoiner
>knows what girls sound like
kek

[Anonymous No.1138172]

>>1138169
>mentioning and using in a sentence the phrase "high test"
>mentioning the word "beta" in a sentence
>not having a sense of humour

Mate you're a loser

[Anonymous No.1138190]

>>1138157
The new price of 55 ETH stands.

>>1138172
>Mate you're a loser
Oh yeah? Would a loser have a $25 gift card to Papa John's? I didn't think so. That's some top tier, high test, alpha male shit. I can't tell you how many women come out of the woodwork when word gets around that you can literally just walk in to any Papa Johns establishment in the whole world and get ANY item that you want, just like that. It's like they're so in awe of your masculine presence that they just can't help but literally hand you a pizza, it's crazy.

So where's yours?

[Anonymous No.1138203]

>>1138190
>still carrying on with the joke after you've been told that it isn't funny

[Anonymous No.1138226]

>>1138165
Implying you've ever talked to a girl.

[Anonymous No.1138233]

>>1138203
Its actually pretty funny. I guess it wouldn't seem that way to an autist though.

[Anonymous No.1138249]

>>1138233
rekt.

[Anonymous No.1138264]

>>1138203
What joke? You think this is a joke? This is the investment opportunity of a LIFETIME, and out of the goodness of my heart, I'm offering YOU the ability to get in on the GROUND FLOOR.

See, men like myself, we don't live for fame or fortune, no -- those things come to us naturally -- we live to lead. We offer a HAND UP to those brave enough to grasp it, not a HANDOUT to buy fealty from the serfs.

Through the rigorous application of sound scientific principals, and in one of the top labs in the country -- our best pizza scientists have recently determined that the relative humidity of a woman's vaginal walls increases by a factor of 9.001x10^3 when in the presence of a pizza. This is groundbreaking information that I'm giving to you for FREE right now. The pizza market is set to explode in coming months, and as a result the value of a pizza could go as high as $635 a slice once the common man figures out that the secret to getting laid isn't a 5.0L Foxbody Mustang and some Bud Light, but is as simple as a nice hot pizza made with all natural ingredients and baked to perfection by top artisans.

This is your hand up; are you brave enough to grasp it?

[Anonymous No.1138337]

>>1138264
sorry if I missed it, but this doesn't seem to include the girl, right?

[Anonymous No.1138345]

you sick fucks. the government was right that cryptocurrencies are only used to buy drugs and "cheese pizza"

the hacker named 4chan never stops

[Anonymous No.1138389]

>>1138264
>Handing over meme products for non-meme consumables.
>After the rise of Pewdiepie.
Nigga, I just got a gift certificate for a weekend stay at the Aria hotel at the strip, complete with a free buffet pass, a evening spa visit, and a show ticket for 23 ETH.
Step it up, m9.

[Anonymous No.1138529]

50 ETH is worth over $600 you chucklefuck

[Anonymous No.1138568]

>>1138389
Wait, so you gave 23 whole internet meme tokens to someone and didn't even get $25 worth of delicious Papa John's pizza out of it? Someone call the police, this man has been robbed!

>>1138529
I bet. Call me when you can walk into an Apple store and buy an iPhone with your internet meme tokens, or a hamburger for that matter.

>reminder: no woman would never look at your meme tokens with a much longing as she does a pizza

[Anonymous No.1138597]

>>1138568

>trade ETH for BTC instantly
>exchange for fiat or use bitcoin debit card instantly
>get iPhone for "meme tokens"

[Anonymous No.1138605]

>>1138597
>"instantly"

[Anonymous No.1138612]

your pitch is shit kys.

[Anonymous No.1138613]

>>1136964

>50 ETH with a current value of $622.50 in exchange for a $25 voucher

The idea of this is that the market value of the useless token needs to be significantly less than the real world voucher, you utter fucking mongolidian retard.

[Anonymous No.1138615]

>>1136964
sent ;)

[Anonymous No.1138628]

>>1138337
Not explicitly, but it's the first step towards being the kinda man a nubile little beauty such as her would like to share a nice, hot Papa John's pizza with... You would casually mention that it's made with the freshest ingredients, all natural of course. She would then feel your taught bicep and remark on how you must need the protein. The two of you would start telling each other stories, and she would mention that she's never really been with a man before, and you would say "neither have I", whereupon she would blush and look down shyly, biting her lip after a few seconds. Later on, after the giggles have died down, you'd find yourselves watching a show about alien abductions -- afraid, she cautiously crawls over to your side of the couch and nuzzles her head against your shoulder as she places her blanket over the two of you. The first thing you notice is how small her hand looks around your wrist, and it makes you think of other things. You notice her breathing harder, you notice that she looks up at you intermittently, you notice her intoxicating scent, and you notice her other hand is unaccounted for. It isn't long before you feel it, that unmistakable twitch. Your mind panics, you think to yourself, "but she isn't that kind of girl", you hope with every fiber of your being that she doesn't notice, perhaps the blanket will save you. After a while you begin to grow restless as you feel a dull pain start to set in -- you've never been this hard before. She looks up at you and says sweetly, "anon, I just wanted to say that I've had a really nice time tonight, and that I hope we can do this again", you respond with, "me too", unable to think of much else. It's then that she notices a remaining slice of Papa John's pizza on the stand next to you. Overcome with a sudden hunger, she thrusts herself forward and leans over your lap, reaching her tiny hand for the orphaned slice.

That's when it happened...

(cont)

[Anonymous No.1138629]

>>1138337
>>1138628
As she leaned over your throbbing manhood, her tight stomach grazed its tip -- she paused, but only for an instant before sitting back down to enjoy her slice of artisanal pizza. Your mind rushes, too fast for you to even make sense of your own thoughts, "did she feel it?", "she must have, she paused", "I hope she doesn't think...". Finished with her slice, and after what seemed like hours of mental anguish, you hear her sweet voice, "can I see it?". In shock, you wrack your brain trying to interpret what she said as meaning anything else. "Well, can I?", she says; "I've always wanted to see one, but..", she looks away. You manage to respond, "y-yeah, I mean, if you want to, I guess". She perks up, and slowly moves the blanket to the side. "Wow! I didn't know they could be so big!" she exclaims, "i-is that normal, anon? I mean...that's gotta be like ten inches!". Emboldened by her enthusiasm and mustering every bit of courage you have, you slowly slide your sweatpants down to reveal a glistening bread stick, thrust mightily toward the ceiling. She quickly takes it in her hand and remarks, "oh my god, it's just so thick", her fingers failing to encircle its complete girth. She looks up at you and smiles, before slowly lowering herself to the hot bread stick. She pauses for a moment, staring into your eyes before slowly extending her tongue towards the tip as her wry grin widens. He small pink lips open cautiously and encircle the tip, her tongue now savoring the unfamiliar taste. She bites down aggressively in an animalisitc display of hunger, tearing the tip from the shaft like a lion tears the throat from a dying wildebeest. It was in that moment that you realized you're a man now, in the truest sense, and it's all thanks to that $25 Papa John's gift card you got basically for free.

[Anonymous No.1138633]

>>1138597
>collect cans
>trade cans for real money instantly
>use real money to buy iPhone

[Anonymous No.1138636]

>>1138615
Ayy, you silly goose.