/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.11368020]

I FUCKING HATE INTERVIEWS WTF I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT

I HAVE TO SOMEHOW GET TIME OFF FROM MY CURRENT SHITTY WAGEKEK JOB TO DRIVE OUT TO THIS FUCKING INTERVIEW JUST FOR THE CHANCE.. TEH CHANCE OF BEING CONSIDERED TO BE HIRED FOR SLIGHTLY BETTER PAY THAN MY CURRENT WAGEKEK JOB
AND I HAVE TO ANSWER STUPID FUCKING QUESTIONS AND PRETEND LIKE I CARE ABOUT THE COMPANY AND NOT TOTALLY JUST IN IT FOR MONETARY REASONS AND FAKE BEING INTERESTED AND ANSWER THE STUPIDEST FUCKING SHIT QUESTIONS ARGH AND THEN HAVE TO NEGOTIATE MY SALARY AND SAYING ONE THING WRONG COULD POTENTIALLY BLOW THE WHOLE INTERVIEW AND I HAVE TO DRESS NICE AHHHH

I HATE THIS SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous No.11368039]

They should just hire based on how goodlooking you are.

[Anonymous No.11368043]

I DONT WANNA GO TO AN INTERVIEW

AHHHHHHHHHH

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE DAYS WHERE YOU JUST SHAKE THE GUYS HAND AND GET A GOOD JOB. WHAT HAPPENED WHY CANT I HAVE THAT REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[Anonymous No.11368052]

>>11368020
I like interviews.
They show you your weaknesses and can land you a job as a bonus.

[Anonymous No.11368067]

>>11368020
Stop caring so much

[Anonymous No.11368071]

>>11368052
Failing interviews sucks, but it's always a good feel to go home and learn the shit out of all the topics you botched.

[Anonymous No.11368108]

the wagecuck life is not worth it bros... its not worth it

[Anonymous No.11368372]

>>11368052
>They show you your weaknesses

I'm already aware of enough weaknesses already I don't need to be shown more.

[Anonymous No.11368420]

tfw 4/4 for interviews resulting in position offerings

[Anonymous No.11368422]

>>11368052
I like interviews. You can try out new puns and get hired.

[Anonymous No.11368446]

>>11368020
>HELLO, I UHHH WANT TO, UHHH DEVOTE MY LIFE TO THIS COMPANY EVEN THOUGH ITS A BADLY PAID POSITION WITH NO POSSIBLE PROGRESS AND INSANE HOURS.

[Anonymous No.11368502]

>>11368446
>me during the interview

[Anonymous No.11369141]

>>11368020
Just relax. Face to face interviews are only so they can tell if you're easy to get along with.

[Anonymous No.11369247]

>>11368446
the dance is so weird to me. You just know that they hate their jobs and don't want to be there and they know that you're lying and are only there for money but both of you sit there smiling at each other lying through your teeth.

[Anonymous No.11369252]

>>11368020
100% feel you

Sorry you arent good enough to get offers handed to you.

[Anonymous No.11369302]

>>11369247
>HELLO, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THIS PLACE NOR ABOUT YOU BUT I NEED TO PAY MY RENT SOMEHOW

[Anonymous No.11369328]

> tfw got my first job after 4 and a half years of NEET life without doing an interview

who else /gamed the system/ here?

[Anonymous No.11369362]

>>11368020
There's a really accurate comic where HR says they want this interview to be open and honest, and the first question is "why do you want this job". "So I can exchange my labor for currency"

That's all I ever think of at interviews

[Anonymous No.11369387]

>>11368052
>They show you your weaknesses
>Being too white for the job

[Anonymous No.11369428]

>>11369328
i'll get a big mac with large fries and medium coke

[Anonymous No.11369495]

>>11369428
I Drive.

[Anonymous No.11369544]

>>11369328
Posting an ad online offering to suck dicks for money isn't an interview.

[Anonymous No.11369664]

>>11369544
close, i posted an ad on gumtree looking for a driving job and got one

[Anonymous No.11369674]

>>11369387
Being white is usually never a negative.

Being a minority does give you brownie points though

[Anonymous No.11369748]

>>11368020
Interviews are fucking easy. They're not about showing how much you care about the company, you idiot. It helps but it's not the deciding factor.
You're supposed to tell them why they should hire you, what you bring to the table, what your skills are. And you have to prove it.

[Anonymous No.11369764]

>>11369247
That's only how it is for losers and loser companies.

[Anonymous No.11369811]

>>11368039
Be a model then lmao dont tell me ur ugly??? LOL

[Anonymous No.11370068]

>>11369247

A lot of jobs involve selling garbage to unwitting customers, shilling or outright lying. So it's like a test how convincing you are at bullshitting people. If you can bullshit the bullshitters during the interview you're probably good enough for the job.
But yes, this whole "game" is absolutely disgusting.

[Anonymous No.11370334]

>>11368108
On the other hand, NEETs often have difficultty filling all that free time in meaningful ways.
Also they are one bad day away from finding themselves homeless and starving.

[Anonymous No.11370348]

>>11368043

Just be yourself.

[Anonymous No.11370452]

>>11368020
I hate it too anon

hey, at least they dont make you write tic tac toe in javascript on a whiteboard and turn a 1hr interview into 2 hours

tell your kids, don't do computer programming as a job

[Anonymous No.11370502]

>>11368020
Most people perform poorly in interviews because they either don't prepare or prepare incorrectly.

Focus less on the company and more on yourself and what you can bring to the company. They don't really care why you want to work there.

YouTube jobsearchminute. This guy with a lisp gives 1 minute videos on normal interview questions. Watch them and write your own examples. Feel free to make up examples that you can BACK UP.

Don't pretend you can speak French if you can't. But if they're looking for someone who has é.g. improved a process, take credit for a process improvement in your previous job. Explain the problem, how you did it, the approach you took to solve it, and the effect of solving it.

For example, the trading team were complaining about manual entry for entering a certain type of trade. I gathered x info, and realised it could be resolved by doing y. I pitched my idea to the head of the trading desk and my boss. Both agreed with my approach and I ended up implementing my solution and saving the traders around 45 minutes every day.

That's all it is. But you have to show your approach and how great the result was. Fake it till you make it, seriously.

Good luck. I can help you if you like.

[Anonymous No.11370518]

Anon, non-ironically go to an interview coach. It helped me overcome my crippling autism

[Anonymous No.11370527]

>>11368071
This. Very important to learn from failing one.

[Anonymous No.11370537]

>>11368020
I stopped going to job interviews. I'm not playing their fucking game or jumping through hoops for the """privilege""" of working at a shitty job that I'm going to hate anyways.

[Anonymous No.11370586]

>>11369674
Haha!

[Anonymous No.11370700]

I know we all think the job interview process is shit, but would be a better alternative /biz/?

[Anonymous No.11370800]

>>11370700
employers being normal fucking people and having realistic expectations would be nice

[Anonymous No.11370848]

>>11369328
I want the number 3 with extra fries please

[Anonymous No.11370925]

>>11370700
just going out for a coffee and a chat interviews are some boomer era autistic shit that need to end

[Anonymous No.11371191]

>>11370925
anon, he just wants to 'touch base' with you

[Anonymous No.11371240]

>>11368020
Interviews are fine. I can't stand those "team exercises" though. There's always that one fucking guy who thinks he's hot shit and tries to be a leader to make himself look good.

[Anonymous No.11371305]

>>11371240
>that one fucking guy

does he have a shit eating grin?

[Anonymous No.11371363]

>>11369495
thanks for the pizza mr dominos man heres your tip

[Anonymous No.11371402]

>>11368108

How do you live on less than 1k a month of gibs though unless you live with your parents?

[Anonymous No.11371414]

>>11371402
>put life savings into high yielding dividend stocks
>become NEET crypto daytrader
>????
>profit

[Anonymous No.11371432]

>spend hours searching for job
>find job
>redirected multiple times to job site
>create account
>verify account
>complete profile
>type cover letter
>type resume
>upload resume to application
>fix every single auto-populated text field
>complete personality/job fit questionnaire
>white-non-Hispanic-caucassion [check]
>male [check]
>not a verteran [check]
>not disabled [check] *lie
>use mouse to sign application
>try to fix it multiple times
>throw keyboard against wall
>review application
>employment history got auto-populated with education
>go back and correct it
>repeat every following step again
>review application again
>submit application
>wait
>wait more
>receive rejection letter 2 months later

[Anonymous No.11371477]

>>11371432
>upload resume
>now fill out the entire application manually

this meme needs to die already holy shit

[Anonymous No.11371498]

>>11368020
THIS

I cannot understand interviews at all, it is all just so fake. I should have gone into fucking medicine or trades so I wouldn't have to deal with that shit

[Anonymous No.11371722]

Dude just fake it until you make it... fake laughing, fake compliments, fake cock licking all that shit bruv

[Anonymous No.11371744]

>>11370700
Hand shake and a trial. Really that simple

They want it be a popularity contest first and foremost, the work part doesnt even seem to be part of it

[Anonymous No.11371794]

Do you really need to be on linkedin and facebook to be considered for a job?

[Anonymous No.11372007]

>>11368039
>tfw I would literally never not get hired
it’s like the only thing I’m good at

[Anonymous No.11372031]

>have several interviews at an oil and gas company
>every interviewer is someone from the field im applying to (process engineering)
>get to the final interview after 2-3 months
>walk into the room where im about to get interviewed
>"hi anon, take a seat. sorry your interviewers couldnt make it so im roastie no. 1 from HR and here is roastie no. 2 from talent acquisition"

[Anonymous No.11372036]

>>11371498
My friend got a 5 year PharmD degree. He makes 12k a month, works a week on/week off schedule., and gets more vacation than I'll ever hope to have.

I got a 4 year degree in econ and I lose money on shitcoins and my wife works at a restaurant.

[Anonymous No.11372086]

>>11372036
also an econ degree here, what a fuckign mistake that was

why cant the government just give us jobs and let us control fiscal policy? what business do the fucking RETARD politicians know about economics? I hate this society

[Anonymous No.11372159]

my resume is so pathetic and filled with so many dead end jobs I walked out of one day I can't stand filling out an application

and then there are the multi year gaps in employment

[Anonymous No.11372165]

Idk I'm good at interviews

[Anonymous No.11372182]

It's good to be in industry where technical people are in hot demand.

>go to an interview for a big international
>spill lots of spaghetti
>still get hired

[Anonymous No.11372241]

>>11372182
What's your guys spaghetti policy?

Here's a wet nap sir, would you like some cheese?

Lets discuss your salary.

[Anonymous No.11372313]

>>11372182
Also I never interacted with any HR cunt, only technical people.

[Anonymous No.11372564]

>>11371794
p-pls respond

[Anonymous No.11372622]

I have failed over 30 graduate job interview processes. In the UK if you're not posh or extroverted then you're fucked

[Anonymous No.11372705]

>>11368043
(((Desert eagle)))

[Anonymous No.11372709]

Lads I have to fail my interview in order to still be on neet buxs. How do I purposely fail without it being too obvious?

[Anonymous No.11372713]

>>11372564
Depends on HR. But seems to count for massive brownie points.

>>11372313
Startups with 100h+ workweek are always an option, but it's not really for us zoomers seeking stability.

[Anonymous No.11372771]

>got fired and had to find a new job
>have a job interview at some other office
>when I walk in it looks exactly the same as the old jobsite
>even roasties look the same, even have same body shapes
>tell them I have forgot something important in my car
>leave and never return

wtf?

[Anonymous No.11372875]

>apply to a job at best buy
>"Why do you want to work for us?"
>don't want to say "because I need a fucking paycheck" so I just say I want to help people and some bullshit (what the fuck does he expect? Hurrr I like retail)
>Don't get the job because I didn't lie hard enough
>apply to a real job in a real field doing work that actually matters
>"Why do you want to work for us?"
>Lay out my long term career goals and the experience I expect to obtain from this position, pointing out how much I enjoy doing this kind of thing
>Get the job
maybe stop looking at shitty companies designed for teenagers and losers and start thinking about a career. lots of entry level shit out there available to you that will actually go somewhere.

[Anonymous No.11372997]

Unironically how much does being good-looking impact your chances of being hired?

Im a pretty boy CS student but Im not actually that smart compared to my peers Im just banking off of being a Chad in interviews once I graduate, am I fucked?

[Anonymous No.11373041]

>>11372997
something tells me if you don't sperg out, you'll have a higher than average chance

[Anonymous No.11373148]

>>11372709

[Anonymous No.11373207]

>>11371432
This fucking shit drives me insane.

[Anonymous No.11373259]

>>11369328
"hey, what time do you guys stop serving breakfast?"

[Anonymous No.11373285]

>>11368043
Just walk right in there and demand to see the hiring manager, then demand a job. Worked for me.

Be sure to call the secretary "honey", they love that shit.

[Anonymous No.11373303]

>>11372997
Can't hurt but confidence is the real decider

[Anonymous No.11373330]

Its all cause of the Jews, anarchism is a viable form of governening if your population is not being actively brainwashed by sociopathic religious sects. Money is the root of all evil cause the jews.

[Anonymous No.11373340]

>>11372875
>lots of entry level shit out there available to you
lol
no

[Anonymous No.11373405]

>>11368020
Calm the fuck down

[Anonymous No.11373486]

>>11371414
Are people still pretending they do this?

[Anonymous No.11373492]

>>11369674
>Being white is usually never a negative
turns out this is the opposite of reality

[Anonymous No.11373634]

>>11371432
>white-non-Hispanic-caucassion [check]
I don't ever give an answer on any race questions. I have no race now, I always opt out. Affirmative action is a motherfucker that can do nothing but harm my chances. I'm getting desperate enough to start opting out of gender too. Soon I'm just going to start putting down NPC.

[Anonymous No.11373638]

>>11373340
stop applying to shit that pays 60k a year and be realistic about what you're capable of.