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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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10905240 No.10905240 [Reply] [Original]

And why should I hire you?

>> No.10905241

>>10905240
I'm not a gay tranny commie homo MAGA 2 GENDERS KEK 2 SCOOPS xDDDDDDDDDD

>> No.10905242

>>10905240
>my experience/education are a perfect fit for the job
>xyz inc. will benefit from my skillset
>yada yada yada

>> No.10905243

And why should I work for you?
>I didn't pick a meme career, I picked one in demand where I control everything

>> No.10905244
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10905244

>>10905240
You shouldn't.
I'm just here because the welfare office is forcing me to attend these retarded meetings so I can keep receiving delicious NEETbux. If you dare hire me I'll fuck up your servers.
NEET masterrace.

>> No.10905245

Just give me the job dummy

>> No.10905246

And why are you trying to recruit people here?

>> No.10905247

>>10905240

If you don't I'll detonate my bomb vest.

>> No.10905248

Because I actually know how to math and that puts me significantly above all your other software engineers in terms of capability

>> No.10905249

>>10905241
Keep the /ledditpol/ in /ledditpol/

>> No.10905250
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10905250

>>10905240

'Cause I'm the best you can find ... besides the ... Blue Haired fat gender-fluid feminist with Gender Studies PhD screetching on the previous interview.

>> No.10905251

>>10905240
Because I'm a certified loli connoisseur and can increase your company's productivity levels by mitigating your shit taste in anime girls.

>> No.10905252

>>10905240
WTF bro. YOU invited ME to the interview.
You should know the answer by yourself at this point

>> No.10905253

How do I convince someone who knows very little about computers that I know things about computers?

>> No.10905254

>>10905240
why not ?

>> No.10905255

I have an IQ of 200, so please tell me this: why should I accept your job offer?

>> No.10905256
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10905256

Why do we have roleplaying threads like this?

>> No.10905257

>>10905250
lmao, they would hire xir over you

>> No.10905258

>>10905250
Can we start calling fat feminists Craigs because they look like Craig from Malcolm in the Middle?

>> No.10905259

I'm a rather competent FPGA engineer and there aren't too fuckin many of those.

>> No.10905260
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10905260

>>10905242
>Interesting. I liked your yada yada yada part. It's something that none of our candidates' said. Thinking out of the box is very important.
>So, what inspired you to seek VR male masturbator beta tester career?

>> No.10905261

"You shouldn't"

>> No.10905262

>>10905244
you get money if you dont have a fucking job ? where the fuck are you from

>> No.10905263

>>10905262
try owning land

>> No.10905264

>>10905262
>what is unemployment subsidies

>> No.10905265

>>10905262
It's called being a clever welfare leech and getting more money than most people earn in a year.

>> No.10905266

>>10905259
Did you learn this at university and is it practical to learn it outside of that? How long does it take from knowing literally nothing about FPGAs (but being an experienced C programmer who understands x86 assembly) to being "rather competent"? Is this a specialisation you would recommend?

>> No.10905267

>>10905248
I had to completely redo the spaghetti code a math major wrote. His shit would need 5 hours to run, ignoring basic design pattern, i/o and reusability. Knowing math is not all there to software engineering.

>> No.10905268
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10905268

>> No.10905269

>>10905240
The truth of what should happen
>The fact Im even here shows there is a mutual interest, you know my skills and I know my capability, whether we build something special here is mostly down to you Mr employer

What actually happens
>This interview is a facade, you have already made your choice based on who will actually give you the least shit for you to actually do your job properlly. It's either a dumb lackey with no free thought, a friend or family, or even worse some to just help with PR.

I fucking hate interviews

>> No.10905270

>>10905266
yeah it was my main thing at school. You could probably learn it on your own though. Eh, it's okay. It seems like all the major vendors are trying to kill/replace the HDL coders with all the investment in openCL, high level synthesis kinda things but that may never come to fruition

>> No.10905271

>>10905240
if you don't then my fursona might pounce on you!!!! rawr xd!!!

>> No.10905272

>>10905256
so we're prepared for the real world

>> No.10905273

>>10905265
What country gives welfare monkeys more money than what most people make? In USA, it's minimum wage

>> No.10905274
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10905274

>>10905240
I'm a transblack genderqueer muslim pansexual demiwoman.
I don't have any qualifications whatsoever but if you hire me you can check off all your diversity quotas all at once.
I suggest I work from home, I can write an angry tweet about white males and a separate one on how nice and inclusive our company is, about once a week seems right.
You can just send me 5K every month and I'll make sure the company looks good by 2018 standards. Deal?

>> No.10905275

>>10905240
you can technical count me as Hispanic if you want, great grandpa Lopez came from Spain.

>> No.10905276

W-well.... um.... BRRRRAAAAAAAAAAPPPPP!

>> No.10905277

>>10905276
based brapposter.

>> No.10905278
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10905278

>>10905274
>I'm a transblack

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a63lQL7eIJ4

>> No.10905279

>>10905241
Go back to leftypol

>> No.10905280

>>10905278
I don't identify as human, therefore human laws don't apply to me.

>> No.10905281
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10905281

>>10905274
>transblack

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMcu57J_jNQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a0S425nVBng

>> No.10905282

>>10905240
Hey, if you ask ME, unabling to answer that question yourself, then don't. I bet you have a load of applicants waiting under the door. I'd rather find a place where I shouldn't convince other people to work with me.

After leaving the room: "What a pompous schmuck. Tho I bet he thinks the same about me, good riddance".
While driving home: "Why should I hire you. Heh. I bet there are cucks who would fawn over that dude while he screws them".

>> No.10905283

>>10905281
Seems like a fetal alcohol syndrome.

>> No.10905284
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10905284

Because I'm the only candidate in this country who has and can [made up technical terms like eco-blockchain and bullshit corporate mumbojumbo such as goal-oriented synergies].

>> No.10905285

>>10905281
goddammit, I need to fap now.

>> No.10905286

>>10905283
Nah, you can tell by the groove under the nose.

>> No.10905287

>>10905267
Yeah but on the other hand you have CS graduates who use 3 for loops for something log() could do.

>> No.10905288
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10905288

>>10905280
Be Shaun King,
Black Lives Matter activist

>> No.10905289

>>10905249
>>10905279
LOL SNOWFLAKE Republitard got TRIGGERED

>> No.10905290
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10905290

>>10905278 >>10905281 >>10905288
>Shaun King
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBNIT6-xWSc

>> No.10905291
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10905291

>>10905288 >>10905281 >>10905278
Those Whiggers, LOL

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LfJnj66HVQ

>> No.10905292

>>10905273
Canaedia.
Most people here make around 20 - 30k and you can get up to 40k in welfare.

>> No.10905293

>>10905240
Because I know how to make a quantum processor that actually works and can be sold to the public.

>> No.10905294

>>10905285
*calls 911*

>> No.10905295

>>10905253
Hope that they know very little. A lot of places have non-technical managers hire for soft skills rather than hard.
But if it's programming they're gonna want you to whiteboard and you're sol.

>> No.10905296

>>10905240
I also, fingerfuck my hands when i want to feel important.

>> No.10905297

>>10905240
Because I'll be so good at the job you will be able to take kapersky and mcafee of all the work computers

>> No.10905298

>>10905240
I'll schnozzle your schlong

>> No.10905299

I uhm

Well, I've never been disliked after 2 days of knowing me. Never ever.

>> No.10905300

>>10905289
The leftypol invasion is real. Whenever you see gb2pol comments, you know who are behind them.

>> No.10905332

>>10905240
Because i am able to make your 8 digit company into a 9 digit one

>> No.10905335

>>10905240
fuck you nigger give me a job lmao

>> No.10905351

>>10905300
Why would they even come here? Business and Finance is like the opposite of what they believe in lmao. And it's not like they're ever going to convince anyone here to stop wanting money, because I'm sorry, but their commie utopia is literally never going to happen

>> No.10905450
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10905450

>>10905240
Because the sooner you hire a replaceable cog, the sooner you can go back to shitposting on /biz/ or playing golf.

>> No.10905868

>>10905450
based