/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.10664352]

>Ahh Mondays... the worst day of the week. Right, Jim? Ahaha

[Anonymous No.10664371]

>>10664352
Damn it John, go back to your desk! I'm not going to warn you again.

[Anonymous No.10664393]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4s5yHUpumkY

[Anonymous No.10664397]

Delete this

[Anonymous No.10664408]

>Looks like someone's got the case of the Mondays

[Anonymous No.10664418]

>Hey Anon how was your weekend?

[Anonymous No.10664433]

>>10664418
>good yours?

[Anonymous No.10664439]

>>10664418
FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFFFFFFF

[Anonymous No.10664454]

Pls no

It’s too real

[Anonymous No.10664463]

>>10664418
Literally what I’m about to hear

[Anonymous No.10664487]

B-bbbut i'm still on my last week of summer holidays... he he.. will return fit for fight though

[Anonymous No.10664524]

>tfw office is closed on wednesday for maintenance and shit

thanks fuck

still have to do some work at home but at least I don't have to commute

[Anonymous No.10664798]

Feels wagie man

[Anonymous No.10664972]

>Lunch?

[Anonymous No.10665042]

>Welp I better get back to the grind. These spreadsheets aren't going to fill themselves out

[Anonymous No.10665120]

>>10664352
Actually no, monday is the only day where I can finally see some move in the market

[Anonymous No.10665303]

Have you guys thought about becoming teachers? In most countries other than the US they make really good $

[Anonymous No.10665687]

[Anonymous No.10665699]

>>10665687
delete this

[Anonymous No.10665731]

>I think it's gonna rain today.

[Anonymous No.10665739]

>there is just so much construction

[Anonymous No.10665764]

[Anonymous No.10665774]

>Let's circle back to that item later, it seems out of scope
>I added Ganesh's team to the weekly meeting, I'm hoping to leverage some synergy between groups if we focus on our core competencies
>We can touch base during tomorrow's standup, give you some time to get the lay of the land
>I want to highlite our value add and show that this is a win-win
>I'm feeling out of the loop here, when was the last time Frank ran the numbers?
>Rupesh is going to do a deep dive into the data and perform a drill down into our key customer segments
>This initiative is really going to move the needle on our top KPIs
>We can already make this a game changer by taking care of some low hanging fruit
>Let's take that offline, ping me when you know you'll be available
>We're not trying to boil the ocean here, our north star hasn't changed

[Anonymous No.10665932]

>>10664972
You're a handsome wagie...no homo

[Anonymous No.10666014]

>working hard or hardly working? Ahahaha
>Did you see the game last night?

[Anonymous No.10666049]

>>10664418
End me

[Anonymous No.10666114]

>>10665774
reeeeeeeeeee

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[Anonymous No.10666136]

>>10664352
FUCKING DELETE THIS

[Anonymous No.10666180]

>>10664418
boss invited me to a game of good ol' golf

[Anonymous No.10666504]

I want to blow my brains out. I honestly prefer to do some construction or factory worker job. Fuck this cubicle office nightmare

[Anonymous No.10666536]

>>10666504
What do you do and how did you get that job?

[Anonymous No.10666555]

>>10666504
Have you seen Office Space?

[Anonymous No.10666583]

>>10666536
Software development, but really it’s just me maintaining a shitpile of spaghetti code. I got it by just getting a CS degree and doing a few internships.

[Anonymous No.10666588]

>>10665774
>standup meetings
You work in tech. Don't complain. You have it better than most.

[Anonymous No.10666603]

>>10666555
I have, but I honestly though it was a meme. That movie is mostly true

[Anonymous No.10666704]

>>10666504
I have a factory job.
There's drama here, but sometimes I can hide amongst the machinery and let the whirring and screeching blank my mind out. Being stuck in a building with "peers" would drive me to slaughter everyone within a week... Come get paid very little and feel peace at the factory, anon.

[Anonymous No.10666781]

>>10665042
What would you say if I told you that I get paid $8.75 to be a janitor at my local bank and work roughly 20 hours a week? That's as much as I can handle. I play MMO's the rest of my time. I do live with my grandma.

[Anonymous No.10666844]

>>10666781
When gram grams passes away, you're either going to inherit her house or be on the street. Better keep cleaning her gramjammies if you want a place to live, anon

[Anonymous No.10666855]

>>10666844
Honestly, I've been thinking about this. Had she not let me live with her, I'd be the third character on Beavis and Butthead.

[Anonymous No.10666903]

>>10666704
I am thinking about it once I pay of my student loans. I cant take the monotony of my work

[Anonymous No.10667024]

>>10666855
I'm just teasing ya, anon. I'm living with my parents again thanks to a series of shitty financial choices, stupid adult drama between roommates and having a lifelong (and expensive) health problem.
If you are fine living with grams and all, don't change, BUT DO plan ahead and save now, or take some time off from vidya to work on real life aspirations.
>>10666903
Factory work is pretty monotonous - just zero kissing of my bosses ass and zero corporate kool aid to swallow keeps me sane. My last two jobs had me waking up every day wanting to kill myself after killing and raping my coworkers.
There are trade offs and as far as I see things, nobody under 35 is doing well no matter what his pay may be. We are all slaves with different jobs on The Plantation.

[Anonymous No.10667074]

>>10664439
>PEOPLE KEEP POSTING MEMES I DON'T LIKE AAAAHHHHHHHHh HELP ME PLEASE

[Anonymous No.10667095]

>>10665774
I have no idea what any of this means

It feels great

[Anonymous No.10667122]

>>10666704
I don't wanna disappoint my parents, besides illegal spics can work factory jobs, why should I put myself to the same standards as them?

[Anonymous No.10667147]

>>10665774
Can anyone translate this? I can't read in Wage.

[Anonymous No.10667184]

I always dreamt of an office job, smack in the middle of the city. After work drinks. Office funnies. Early knock drinks

That all seems appealing to me. Is it that bad?

[Anonymous No.10667231]

>>10667184
>Office funnies

[Anonymous No.10667241]

[Anonymous No.10667262]

>>10664418
I usually prefer to keep it to myself. Some coworkers have asked me what I do. One or two girls (one of them being my supervisor in an office) have asked me about "What are you doing this weekend?" or "How was your weekend?" eventually asking "What did you do?"

[Anonymous No.10667278]

>>10667262
>eventually asking "What did you do?"
Oh nothing, I just shill and post FUD on /biz/

[Anonymous No.10667289]

>>10667147
Its not actually Wagie, its Techie with a bit of Manager. Roughly translated it means "We want to tell the higher ups everything is good so we aren't fired"

[Anonymous No.10667440]

>>10667184
HE‘S ONE OF THEM

[Anonymous No.10667521]

>>10667184
These jobs exist, problem with these is once you get them you don't want to move on.
I say it's a problem only because the companies where I worked which were like this had non-existent progression and I don't want to be stuck making 1500$ a month

[Anonymous No.10667543]

>>10667184
Let me guess, you also watch "The Office" and think it's funny...

[Anonymous No.10667549]

>>10664418
I masturbated and posted on 4chan.
>uwaaaaaaaaaaa!

[Anonymous No.10667609]

>>10667549
>haha, what a party animal. *sip* ahhh thats good coffee, well back to work

[Anonymous No.10667650]

>>10667543
The Office is legendary

[Anonymous No.10667656]

>>10667609
>*sip* ahhh thats good coffee
i got annoyed just reading that

[Anonymous No.10667730]

>>10667650
shit tier bait, try harder

[Anonymous No.10667748]

>>10667650
>>10667543
It’s funny bros

[Anonymous No.10667756]

>you know me just working for the weekend

[Anonymous No.10667791]

>>10667521
jesus christ 1500 a month? the fuck

I make 2k a week as a longshoreman in Illinois for fuck sakes where cost of living is fuck all

[Anonymous No.10667796]

>>10667184
I kind of agree. Seems better than driving around telling bums to fuck off at 3 AM on a Sunday like I do now. Probably.

[Anonymous No.10667846]

>how was your holiday
>Sure it was very busy here and we had too few people so I had to work a ton of over hours, at least you had a good time

[Anonymous No.10667894]

>>10666504
It's so bad.

People think its cushy but I can barely use a computer most of the week because my eyes are so blasted from staring at a monitor for 8 hours a day.
I feel sick about 4 hours into work every day. I had way more fun when I was doing landscaping.

[Anonymous No.10667922]

>>10667184
It is fun until you've worked there for a few months and settle into the routine. Then it becomes terrible and turns you into a soulless husk of a human waiting to die.

[Anonymous No.10668507]

> Today are french fries in the cantine.
> No anonete made me a lunch.

[Anonymous No.10668528]

>>10667894
>waaah my eyes hurt from staring at a screen for 8 hours
>gets home from work and stares at 4chan for the rest of the day

[Anonymous No.10668529]

[Anonymous No.10668537]

>>10668507
>french fries
>cantine
>Americans

[Anonymous No.10668551]

[Anonymous No.10668553]

>I wasn´t sure if i can wear these sneakers in Office. Guess what i am a rebel today.

[Anonymous No.10668561]

>>10664352
>Haha you're right, Ben. Monday's blues, eh? Anyhow, how is that house you're planning to buy?

[Anonymous No.10668565]

>>10668529
t. triggered wagie

[Anonymous No.10668582]

>Can you wrap up this sheets of this client till three. Use your lunch break if time is short. I would´ve asked Stacy but she has to leave early today.

[Anonymous No.10668857]

>>10667846
I say this to other people, I can't help myself. God I'm so bitter.

[Anonymous No.10669112]

>>10665774
anyone who has said even a single line of these needs to go

[Anonymous No.10669161]

>Alright Anon
>Alright
>good weekend?
>yeah not bad, you know, just a chilled one. You?
>yeah, yeah, good
>good
>yeah..
>....
>.....
>Mondays eh?
>yeah heh...
>.....
>......

[Anonymous No.10669203]

>>10669161
FUCK OFFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF UFCK OFF FUCK OFF I WILL KILL YOU FUCKK OFF YOU ARE A PIECE OF SHIT YOU DONT EVEN SPEAK PROPER ENGLISH YOU FUCKING BOOMER

[Anonymous No.10669513]

>>10668529
Wanker

[Anonymous No.10669533]

>>10667241
kek

[Anonymous No.10669583]

Monday again time flies haha. It looks like the wheather may start to change, did you feel this night was warmer than others? Oh, sorry, well, I'll leave you to your things, you seem busy, but you could try to make an effort getting to know us better you know? HR keeps mentioning your name and I'm telling you, you don't want to be on bad terms with them around here. Try to compertamentalize your life work schedule with a bit more flexibility if you know what I mean.

[Kekovicius !!seZ2sXABmE3 No.10669586]

>Hi this is Janet in Atlanta anyone else on?
>Hi this is Rick in New York anyone else on?
>Hey Rick it's Janet in Atlanta
>Hi this is Bob in Miami anyone else on?
>Hey Bob this is Rick, in New York
>Hey Bob this is Janet in Atlanta
>Hi this is Joe in Seattle anyone else on?
>Hey Joe this is Janet in Atlanta
>Hey Joe this is Rick in New York
>Hey this is Bob in Miami

[Anonymous No.10669602]

>>10667262

the less they know about you the less they have to attack you with

[Anonymous No.10669618]

>>10666180

too close to home

[Anonymous No.10669634]

>>10667147

>this role doesnt play to his strengths
is
>this guy is too dumb to do this

[Anonymous No.10669645]

wow I can't believe it's the middle of August already :D

time flies when you're wasting your life

[Anonymous No.10669653]

>>10664418

[Anonymous No.10669655]

>>10666504
Do self employed handcraft, maybe even something you enjoy. Woodworking, house building, whatever. If you want to do something more fancy do things like creative woodwork for hipsters or wooden boats for rich people.
Maybe you will make less than at your gay office job but if you save enough it wont matter. Be humble, live frugally and save for early "retirement".

>>10667184
Real life is not like in the movies. Your daily life wont be as fun as watching Wall Street, Suits or Mad Men. Yeah they got some things right but it's boring after 1 month and you have to pay for these "funnies" with the fact that you're spending your 20s in front of a PC living above your means and doing stupid crap all day.

[Anonymous No.10669670]

AS A REAL BOOMER I HATE THIS MEME!!!! *SIPS*

[Anonymous No.10669692]

>>10665774
Thank god nobody uses any of this nonsense jargon where I work. Sounds like you work in an sjw feel good 0 profit company living on handouts

[Anonymous No.10669706]

Call Center
>>Its up to you how much money you make!
>>I want to see his hungry you are!
>>Smile when you dial!
>>Its not cold calling if we have called the customer before!
>>Customer cancels the order? That goes out of your commission!
>>Stick to the script! Don't take no for an answer!
>>The customer doesn't know what he wants! You must tell them!
>>No talking, back on the phone!
>>We know in contract it said no more than 120 calls a day but it's about time on the phone so you'll all be doing 200 calls a day! Six hours calltime!
>>If you don't reach your sales target this week it's bad for you!

[Anonymous No.10669730]

does anyone else just think about the constant string of mistakes that lead them to where they are right now?

[Anonymous No.10669741]

>>10666504
>Tfw I actually WANT a office work, cubicle job.

Stop complaining.

[Anonymous No.10669759]

>>10669741
i thought i did too until i started working 45 hour weeks

[Anonymous No.10669877]

>>10669706
Looks like someone's due for a throttling.

[Anonymous No.10669898]

CASE OF THE MONDAYS

[Anonymous No.10670130]

>>10669706
>Stick to the script! Don't take no for an answer!
I feel like an asshole hanging up on these people because I know it's not like they're there for pleasure, but there are only so many times I can see goodbye. We need safe words to make this more efficient for everyone.

[Anonymous No.10670165]

>>10669655
Utopia is pretty accurate as far as office shows go.

[Anonymous No.10670178]

>>10668529
Kys

[Anonymous No.10670187]

>>10670130
>I'm not interested, thank you
Then hang up. Too easy.

[Anonymous No.10670209]

>>10669586

[Anonymous No.10670282]

>afterwork drinks later - you comin'?

[Anonymous No.10670304]

>not making 6 figures working at home

I shit in my own toilet, drink my own coffee, cook lunch everyday and fap to my hearts content

[Anonymous No.10670326]

>>10670304
this. i've also got CNBC in the background while i sit in my computer chair with a blanket as i code away. max comfy

[Anonymous No.10670327]

>>10667894
what the fuck man
how the...
landscaping is super comfy

[Anonymous No.10670406]

>>10670187
I do this, but they keep speaking and that makes me feel a bit like shit. But when I've tried to be more polite I just circle to waiting for my turn to say goodbye without having to be completely clear in a rude autistic way
> Thank you for your time I do not believe I will be interested in acquiring an ornithologic encyclopedia in this life or the next one, I hope you have a good rest of your existence in which we never meet again
That rule of don't take no just wastes everyone time, maybe don't take no if there's a chance.

[Anonymous No.10670408]

I just gotta get through till saturday... then no more putting dog shit in tubes for me. Just school

[Anonymous No.10670419]

>>10670304
>tfw work has an open-plan bathroom without separate stalls

[Anonymous No.10670493]

>>10670304
Reddit tier existence my man

[Anonymous No.10670505]

>>10670304
I want to become a free lancer, what do I have to do? What area are you specialized in? Can I do freelance data science, that's what I know ?

[Anonymous No.10670507]

>>10670304
>pokemon statues
i see reddit

[Anonymous No.10670525]

>>10670408
tubed dog shits a great product though, all the benefits of having the dog shit, with none of the drawbacks of having a dog. you do good work and should feel proud. my whole family uses tubed dog shit now.

[Anonymous No.10670532]

>>10670304
I only make 5 figures working from home. Sometimes it sucks because there's no one to talk to, but at the same time, after I do have to talk to someone (work-related) I get so annoyed that the silence is ok

[Anonymous No.10670580]

>>10670525
Kek

[Anonymous No.10670608]

>>10670507
It's my asian gf's

>>10670505
I have no fucking idea. I'm an accountant.

[Anonymous No.10670645]

>>10667095
It's not supposed to mean anything it's office-speak.

[Anonymous No.10670809]

>>10669602
I rarely tell them what I do, most of the time it seems they are indirectly asking me what I did but I usually quickly change the subject to work.

[Anonymous No.10670835]

>>10670608
>asian
>gf

yup

[Anonymous No.10670853]

>>10669187
Its not so bad if you work at BRAVE like me

[Anonymous No.10670920]

>>10665774
Lol I hear my wagie roommate's boss on conference calls saying ALL of this shit.

[Anonymous No.10670960]

>on train home
>same asswipes using their phone
>hello.. HELO? CAN YOU HEAR ME??????????
>oh, sorry just went through a tunnel!

Seriously, you know there's shitloads of tunnels on this route, stop making phonecalls

[Anonymous No.10671019]

>>10665774
Only one in use in my workplace is "offline," and that one makes sense given that a large portion of discussions occur via conference call
I'd stab someone if they were talking like that regularly

[Anonymous No.10671065]

>>10666504
I will never understand this "my eyes are such pussies" meme. All my friends in high school would play 16 hours of video games on a giant flatscreen in pitch darkness every day in the summer. Everyone spends their off time with their nose buried in their smart phone. But now all of a sudden 8 hours looking at a monitor in a well-lit room is causing eye strain? Fuck off, it's all mental

[Anonymous No.10671095]

>>10670282

[Anonymous No.10671164]

>sorry anon, I'll be at a processfix workshop all day

Wtf is a processfix workshop, and why does it take all day?

[Anonymous No.10671226]

>Anon, could you help us organizing this meetup we're having? You're also interested in topic X, right?
>start is 7pm
>come in early to greet & welcome our guests
>please serve drinks during the talks
>also clean up the place afterwards
>no, of course it's not on company time! Think of it as a personal investment!

[Anonymous No.10671263]

>>10670493
>t. enlightened wagecuck

[Anonymous No.10671659]

>>10667184
>Early knock drinks
The fuck is that?

[Anonymous No.10671687]

>>10667609
Haven't worked for 2 years and I'm honestly stoked that I can't even remember if people really say this anymore, but that's pretty funny if they do

[Anonymous No.10671707]

>>10668507
>cantine
You work in the 3rd grade?

[Anonymous No.10671732]

>nice week-end bob ?
>you too anon enjoy
>tfw will sooner or mater end up with reflex sentences like bob

[Anonymous No.10671778]

>>10671687
3 years and counting here. Can't believe I use to be a modern day SLAVE! Making half of what I use to make but this time I'm also budgeting so I'm pretty much making the same in the end.

[Anonymous No.10671821]

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahvSgFHzJIc

[Anonymous No.10671839]

>>10670304
What desk is that?

[Anonymous No.10672207]

>>10669759
Are you me

[Anonymous No.10672785]

>>10665687
DEL
>>10669161
ETE
>>10669586
DIS