/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.10564693]

(((Flexible Hours)))

[Anonymous No.10565331]

>>10564693
(((Competitive Salary)))

[Anonymous No.10565417]

>>10564693
(((Paid vacation)))
>bitches, moans and manipulates to try and prevent you from taking it

[Anonymous No.10565429]

(((Work from home)))

[Anonymous No.10565440]

(((forced memes)))

[Anonymous No.10565455]

>>10564693
(((after work activities)))
Name one thing worse.

[Anonymous No.10565750]

>>10564693
God this is so true. (((Flexible hours))) just means they expect you to be at work when they need you but won’t pay unless you’re available on their clock. Flexible towards their hours not yours.

[Anonymous No.10565801]

>>10565750
I literally don't know until 7am if I'm working on any given day. Hard to enjoy your time off when it isnt locked in until 3pm. It's all lack of communication too, not entirely the nature of the job. My life is not my own and I want it back right fucking now reeee

[Anonymous No.10566093]

>>10564693
(((unsociable hours bonus)))

[Anonymous No.10566166]

>>10564693
(((Upward mobility)))

[Anonymous No.10566220]

(((FREE LIKE MY BABY BOOMING DAD)))

[Anonymous No.10566247]

>>10564693
(((Training opportunities)))
(((Q&A with the CEO. Make sure you bring questions!)))
(((Free coffee)))

[Anonymous No.10566250]

>>10564693
(((go-live parties))) aka stay hours late at work for $10 in food

[Anonymous No.10566379]

(((not slavery)))

[Anonymous No.10566395]

biz is getting dark

[Anonymous No.10566488]

>>10566395
No, they're getting truthful.

[Anonymous No.10566492]

>>10564693
>>10565331

These two things together mean you will work 50 hours per week and get paid for 40 hours. 100% of the time.

[Anonymous No.10566509]

>>10564693
(((Danger pay)))

[Anonymous No.10566521]

Everyone back the fuck up
(((((((Retirement)))))))

[Anonymous No.10566539]

(((diversity training)))

[Anonymous No.10566563]

>>10564693
((( ((( ))) )))

[Anonymous No.10566576]

(((See you at the synagogue)))

[Anonymous No.10566577]

>>10565417

The company I work at did that for years before I started there. Some people had over 2 months of vacation saved up. The new (((owner))) basically made people take vacation because of complicated business reasons.

[Anonymous No.10566607]

>>10566539
(((Inclusivity Awareness Seminar)))

[Anonymous No.10566629]

(((Opportunities for Advancement)))

[Anonymous No.10566657]

((team building collective activities))

[Anonymous No.10566663]

>>10565801
i'll NEET until i die before i go back to something like this. i'll do whatever it fucking takes, i'm not going back. years of my life were literally wasted. never again

[Anonymous No.10566670]

>>10566657
I've never heard of this ((())). Please elaborate.

[Anonymous No.10566708]

(((Great colleagues)))

[Anonymous No.10566731]

(((5 paid holidays a year!)))
(((Inclusive Atmosphere)))
((((((401k)))matching)))
(((((((((((((((Education)))))))))))))))) Opportunities)))

[reluctant kneepad cunt No.10566745]

>>10566670
it's a meme from /mu/ based on pic related. people just ran with it because it looks cool

[Anonymous No.10566749]

I optimized that Fresco for you OP

[reluctant kneepad cunt No.10566759]

>>10566745

[Anonymous No.10566763]

>>10566670

Echoes. Originally, Jewish names echoed like (((Steven Spielberg))) then it was extended to Jewish organizations like the (((Supreme Court))), (((Hollywood))) and the (((Federal Reserve))). Now, the meme applies to Jewish scams and lies like (((compound interest))) and (((cultural diversity))).

[Anonymous No.10566770]

>>10566670
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triple_parentheses

[Anonymous No.10566780]

>>10566759
>>10566745
kek

[Anonymous No.10566887]

>(((Bagels for everyone in the office on Passover)))

[Anonymous No.10566927]

My last phone interview said this.


>they said it was 14.40 an hour
>I said I was expecting 15 an hour
>they said I could make up for it with overtime!

[Anonymous No.10566945]

>>10566887
>d'at happy merchant

[Anonymous No.10566947]

This shit is so fucking annoying
>oh one great thing about the company is flexible hours
>OK, get in at 10am and leave at 6pm
>everyone on the team birches about how lazy I am
>some fat guy who leaves at 4pm to pick his kid up from school gets zero shit because 'good father'
>oh and its great you can work from home
>ask manager to work from home once a week
>oh do you have something at home you need to do those days, like pick your kids up? Otherwise I'd prefer if you didn't, you have work to do

What the fuck

[Anonymous No.10567149]

>>10566947

Just fake it. Say your "wife" is expecting and LARP as if you actually had kids. It will be years before they catch on because, lo and behold, nobody actually wants to see your stupid, loud, messy offspring.

[Anonymous No.10567182]

>>10566947
>some fat guy who leaves at 4pm to pick his kid up from school gets zero shit because 'good father'
shit like this drives me crazy. I dont have a job like this anymore thank fucking god but I would see shit like this on a daily and I wanted to kill everybody there adkl;sfjlskdjf;alshkgsdh;gfjl;kjfas;odjfnm viwesr;g

[Anonymous No.10567237]

>>10567149
Not a good idea. Our boss visited a coworker two days after his kid was born. HE DROVE RO HIS HOME WITHOUT TELLING HIM. This motherfucker.

[Anonymous No.10567238]

>>10564693
(((unlimited vacation)))

>get grilled for taking vacation for the first time

[Anonymous No.10567265]

>>10565455
weekend away with the team

[Anonymous No.10567274]

>>10567182

father here

you will appreciate the slack once you get your own
at that point you literally can't care less about a job as it's all about those 'messy offspring', as someone put it

[Anonymous No.10567302]

>>10567274
>it's all about those 'messy offspring', as someone put it

No, I said stupid, loud, messy offspring.

[Anonymous No.10567339]

>>10567302

meh

I was like you once
swore to god i'd never marry or have kids. loved abortion and dead baby jokes

you'll grow out of it eventually

:sips_monster:

[Anonymous No.10567394]

>>10566947
Fuck, I hate this so much. I do 1-2 hours of unpaid overtime every week and my boss still bitches if I show up at 9:05 am.

[Anonymous No.10567444]

>>10567339
>Reddit spacing

[Anonymous No.10567504]

>>10567444

nah, Discord habits from all the cryptography bullion I am mining

[Anonymous No.10567512]

>>10565455
Holiday team buildings.

[Anonymous No.10567561]

working with a bunch of senior code monkeys who constantly revise your good code to be worse than it was

[Anonymous No.10567628]

>>10567561
Working on doomed projects for months at a time because there's "not enough funding" to do it in a way that will actually generate results.

[Anonymous No.10567766]

(((Open office environment)))

[Anonymous No.10567796]

>>10567628

had a death march like that recently

was so burned out by the end that just opening the IDE physically hurt

[Anonymous No.10567906]

>>10567796
Pray for me anon, I'm 1 month into a 6 month project where currently my only goal is to shut it down before it gets to a production release and kills somebody.

[Anonymous No.10567907]

>>10567339
Everybody who has kids tells me never to get one. I read that as "we love the little shitters, but you shouldn't get them before you're 45"

[Anonymous No.10567987]

>>10567906

kek

thoughts and prayers

>>10567907

well you can either have them in your prime and accept that life is gonna suck temporarily, or you can spend money and time doing IVF because your swimmers turned useless while you were traveling the world and progressing in a depressing career for a company that epitomizes everything this thread is meant to bemoan, then you can be a 60-year-old two-steps-from-the-grave greyhair by the time they're ready for college

that said, only the first year actually sucked, the kid is practically zero-maintenance between kindergarden, grandparents babysitting and letting him watch Disney movies when we're all drained of life at the end of the day

it's a kind of joy you can't even imagine without having experienced it. like buying sub-dollar antshares