/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.10447374]

>So Anon, we had a look at your Linkedin profile and you only seem to have 6 connections, don't have a profile picture and rarely if ever try to join the worldwide conversation. Could you explain yourself?

[Anonymous No.10447421]

I dont have a linked in profile and have no plans to make one though

also I sincerely doubt I will ever in my life find myself in an interview similar to the one depicted in your picture

[Anonymous No.10447445]

>>10447374
Well you see I never had many friends, and in college I was never into the whole party scene and didn't meet many people who I felt i had any genuine connection with. I assumed I would find a job upon graduation and that would lead me into a point in my life more centered around my career and I would make friends as I want along but it just hasn't happened. And no one wants to hire me, and now I'm 25 and competing with people 3 years younger than me for entry level positions I don't really even want. My life basically feels meaningless so uhh idk but can I have the internship pls? :/

[Anonymous No.10447447]

>>10447374
>"says here you only have 5 internships and only 2 years of experience."

[Anonymous No.10447472]

>>10447374
Wow, I literally never want to get a corporate job. Imagine all these hoops you have to jump through just to apply for a job you statistically won't even get anyways.

[Anonymous No.10447488]

>>10447445
>We're a forward thinking, global organisation looking for future leaders and world changers. It sounds like you're fearful of working in the global economy. I don't think you meet our criteria, Anon.

[Anonymous No.10447524]

>>10447374
>anon
>has a pony tail
let me just see your application again a minute

[Anonymous No.10447532]

I would rather kill myself than work a job which OP proposes

[Anonymous No.10447562]

>>10447421
>>10447532
>We're sorry... uh, what was your name again? Yes, you. Anon. You're not what we're looking for. We're not looking for bookkeepers, we want strategists. We're not looking for bankers, we want champions of the capital market.
>You're welcome to apply next year or you could apply to our HR department.

[Anonymous No.10447988]

I'm not comfortable throwing so much information about myself on the internet.
I use linked exclusively to find new opportunities. In fact I think social media is a bad influence in one's happiness and mental stability, I would rather join conversations and make significant connections in the real world.

[Anonymous No.10448008]

>>10447988
>uses 4chan, an anonymous dung beetle taxonomy board

[Anonymous No.10448044]

>I don't like explain myself, next question.

[Anonymous No.10448082]

>>10447374
Just suck it up and make a proper profile. I just started using it properly a couple of weeks ago and I already have 100 connections, even though I have 0 friends. Add people you went to school with, even if you never talked to them. Fill out your profile as much as possible and include keywords so recruiters will find you.

>>10447988
I'm the same with not wanting any information about myself online, but I'm looking for a job, so I just suck it up and do it. I've heard of many people having success with linkedin, and a lot of employers expect you to have a profile. But if you're doing fine without, cool.

[Anonymous No.10448343]

>>10448082
this

I just add a bunch of 500+ connection nerds from my school and have suddenly got loads of invites to connect

[Anonymous No.10448445]

>>10447374
Yeah, self made millionaires don't need LinkedIn. Also, I might have some friends that need this position more than I do. Here's their contact info instead

[Anonymous No.10448455]

>>10447374

Go fuck yourself

[Anonymous No.10448470]

>>10447374
im not apart of your system man

[Anonymous No.10448480]

>>10447374
im a shut in neet that plays vidya and works for their parents' business and rarely go outside otherwise and i didn't even apply for this job so you guys can fuck off

[Anonymous No.10448660]

>>10448455
>>10448470
>>10448480
We're a forward thinking, multinational organisation looking for the brightest young minds to tackle the global economy. You'll be a perfect fit as part of our Global Burger Flipping Analyst program here at McDonalds.

[Anonymous No.10448777]

>>10447374
>that panel interview pic
>redhead in horn rims
Not even once.

[Anonymous No.10448793]

>>10447374

Well you see the only reason I have a LinkedIn profile at all is because the upscale hookers I buy with my profits from trading illegal internet funny money want to see it to verify my identify

[Anonymous No.10448825]

>>10447374
I hope one day im in a scenario like this so i can tell these stupid crackers to fuck off then cry racism when they dont hire me

[Anonymous No.10448903]

>>10447472
Smaller companies have less hoops.

[Anonymous No.10448918]

>>10448660
i-im not working here or anywhere

[Anonymous No.10448941]

>>10448918
Sign the contract bitch boy. Flip my fucking burgers now.

[Anonymous No.10448951]

>>10448941

[Anonymous No.10448977]

>Sorry we didn't find you on any social media
>We can't offer you a job

[Anonymous No.10448994]

>>10447445
Spot on

[Anonymous No.10449022]

How to test the hypothesis that the underperformance of major corporations (e.g. IBM, Motorola, GE, etc.) corresponds to the proliferation of HR?