I have question?

[Anonymous No.10129715]

Guys how do I wipe my butt?
I was telling a story to a group of friends about how I spent so much time in the bathroom that when I stood up to wipe my ass I fell to the ground because my legs were numb.
They all looked at me like a weirdo and told me that nobody stands up to wipe.
I've been living a lie all my life :(
Am I the only one that stands up to wipe?
Finance related because I think I use less toilet paper this way, therefore saving some money.

[Anonymous No.10129735]

Don't worry anon I stand up too. There's a large contingent of standers. Its kind of a dividing line of society.

[Anonymous No.10129743]

I don't know anyone personally who stands to wipe. I just tilt my ass up to the side and reach around and wipe.

[Anonymous No.10129770]

like this

[Anonymous No.10129783]

Personally I just stand up without smashin my ass together and get it done, no real trick.

[Anonymous No.10129789]

>>10129770
>>10129743
How the fuck do people who sit down and wipe know when their ass is clean?
I wipe standing up and check each wipe until it's totally white.

[Anonymous No.10129796]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAeV-8Ay5Go

[Anonymous No.10129800]

>>10129789
obviously you check each wipe, are u dumb?

[Anonymous No.10129832]

>>10129800
that's not efficient, you put your hand in the toilet, wipe, take it out, and then put it back in?
sit-wipers are low-iq brainlets

[Anonymous No.10129859]

>>10129832
just apply heuristics
you know that for the first 10 wipes your still dirty so just throw them right away, then start checking. gotta be smart when u wipe

[Anonymous No.10129863]

>>10129770
I think people whom wipeth like this leave shit between the cheeks. How can you really scrape it?
I have to stand up to really reach the spots with concentrated shit.

>>10129735
I turned red as fuck. I don't know if the first guy was a sitter and everyone else just didn't have the balls to say they were standers. That was the first time in my life where I felt truly alone.
A stander in a world of sitters if you will.

[Anonymous No.10129897]

>>10129863
Also, I've been thinking and most people aren't really clean when they wipe.
They must have a thin layer of shit on their asscheeks, why isn't anyone talking about this?

[Anonymous No.10129914]

>>10129863
I actualyl feel the opposite, when you sit and arch your back like that you get a more open field around the asshole, when you stand you leg muscles push up and you can't really spread your cheeks as easily as in seating. I always finish up standing though, just to make sure I hit all angles

[Anonymous No.10129965]

>>10129914
But the toilet seat is interfering between your hand and the asshole, how can you thoroughly clean it that way?
Unless you sit on the edge, but that would smear shit all over the seat.
I just think standing up is more logical.

[Anonymous No.10129991]

I used to stand to wipe, but then I got a bidet hooked up to my toilet. Now I get my ass blasted by water and all the poop goes away. And then I stand up to wipe it dry.

[Anonymous No.10129999]

im a sitter, i used to be a stander but thought i was being autistic so i stopped
also i only use baby wipes if you use regular toilet paper your a disgusting fuck with dried shit around your anus

[Anonymous No.10130009]

Use a bidet and don’t smear shit all over your ass hairs

[Anonymous No.10130018]

People who lean forward & wipe are either a) confirmed dicklets, or b) okay with dicking their dick [and possibly balls] in shitwater.

Stand-wipe tribe will forever have superior genetics

[Anonymous No.10130023]

standing masterrace reporting in

[Anonymous No.10130043]

>>10129965
nah man either your toilet is really small or you're fucking fat.

[Anonymous No.10130049]

Bidet master race reporting in. Doesn't matter what position you use if you're smearing shit on your ass with paper. None of you third worlders will make it.

[Anonymous No.10130068]

>>10130049
It's gotten to the point that if I shit in a place with no bidet, I make sure to bring a bottle of water with me to pour on my ass.

[Anonymous No.10130070]

>>10130049
Idk how ppl go about their days with an unwashed ass after shitting

[Anonymous No.10130079]

>>10130068
This is thr way to do it, feels weird in america with all the john johnsons

[Anonymous No.10130082]

>>10130043
Are you saying fatties are standers and tweaks are sitters??
That would explain fatties massive calves.

[Anonymous No.10130117]

>>10130068
How do you pour the water? Do you lay on your back on the ground, lift your legs and then pour the water on your asshole?
Or do you just give the bottle a few squishes on your asshole while sitting?

[Anonymous No.10130121]

>>10130018
Based. Lean-wipers eternally BTFO.

>>10130023
Upright evolved stand-wiper checking in as well.

[Anonymous No.10130141]

I always stand and wipe because I need to get the toilet paper wet so I can get all the shit off my asshole. bidets are a blessing btw

[Anonymous No.10130148]

>>10130117
Lean forward pour water over your ass crack wipe dry. Takes some practice

[Anonymous No.10130155]

>>10130082
That makes sense

[Anonymous No.10130209]

>>10130117
Also bonus if you use hand opposite water pouring hand to give yourself a thorough cleaning

[Anonymous No.10130215]

>>10129859
10 shitty wipes? Do you use aluminium foil instead of paper or is it because of the size of your ass?

[Anonymous No.10130228]

>>10129715
Eh, dont worry about it OP. I have a friend who stands, nobody makes fun of him for it. Honestly either way youre using the same amount because how messy it is is completey subjective on the shit itself. Do whats comfortable for you and dont let others get you down, bro

[Anonymous No.10130233]

>>10129991
>>10130009
>>10130049
a bidet is just water, baby wipes actually CLEANS your ass
does no one else baby wipe? i havnt used toilet paper in years, i will hold my shit for days if i need to, there have been times when im out i will go buy baby wipes to take a shit

[Anonymous No.10130258]

Also, protip for people trying to save on paper: just take one square and fold it in half 2 times. You now have 4 ply TP that is plenty big to wipe without finger contamination risk

[Anonymous No.10130311]

This thread is cramping up my sides.

Truly an intellectual discussion for the ages is occurring in this very thread.

[Anonymous No.10130330]

>>10130233
Baby wipes absolutely, except that rare occasion I have to go in a public, then I use paper, never feels clean.

[Anonymous No.10130347]

>>10130233
side not for the frugal, i can fold a single baby wipe about 8-10 times for maximum usage and take it into the shower for unlimited use, i will go straight from pooping to jumping in the shower with my glorious baby wipe if my poo is in the morning or if i have mudbutt

[Anonymous No.10130358]

>>10130233
Those can ruin septic systems for entire blocks. Flushable my ass.

[Anonymous No.10130366]

>>10130358
yeah i dont flush i have a little bin next to the toilet

[Anonymous No.10130378]

Take a shit
Flush
Waddle to the shower
Turn on shower head
Bend ova like im bout to twerk
Let the water run down my ass for 4 to 5 mins
Get head&shoulders shampoo
Put some on my left hand
Wash my asshole
Let water run down my ass crack
Put some more shampoo on my left hand
Rub ass with it
Let water run down my ass for 3 to 5 minutes
Put my left hand out and let water run on it for couple mins
Turn off shower with right hand
Get out of shower
Wash my hands with liquid soap for about 10 mins
Get back in shower and take a shower

[Anonymous No.10130383]

>>10129715
Roger Ver, Jihan Wu, Calvin Ayre, The 8btc mod (19hZx234vNtLazfx5J2bxHsiWEmeYE8a7k), Jiang Zhouer, the bitcoin.com cofounder, the Coinbase founder - all BILLIONAIRES who can complete the flippening with their own cash TODAY.
They're not doing so because they'd rather invest in BCH adoption. BCH adoption is skyrocketing while btc adoption is dropping.
In a few years both St Kitts and Antigua will use BCH as their main currency (Roger is working on St Kitts, Calvin is investing in Antigua more money than their GDP exclusively because of BCH adoption), Craig Wright will increase transaction counts by circumventing corrupt governments in Africa for money transfers (this one is not certain but very possible considering his funding), Roger is speaking to VIP-s every other day, including Japanese bank CEO-s, stock exchange owners, etc. Brian Armstrong will push BCH and shit on BTC subtly every chance he gets, bitcoin.com wallet is the most popular mobile wallet and it literally shits on BTC, propaganda/censorship effects are fading, Purse just added BCH meaning that normies can use it to get 20% discounts on amazon, Koreans love BCH and they seem to matter at least as much as Americans and significantly more than eurofags, miners are looking for ways to destroy BTC in the next few years otherwise their profits will crumble, LN is proving more and more of a failure every single day, Wright will patent-troll startups into moving into BCH, tipping on github is now possible with bch, smart contracts are coming in November, stress tests are a massive success, charities are popularizing BCH in struggling countries (Venezuela today, others will join in if trouble arises), Free Society project is progressing well, Circle is adding BCH next few weeks, Ayre who became a billionaire from gambling is going to create BCH-only online casinos

[Anonymous No.10130387]

>>10130378
get babys wipes trust me it will change your life forever

[Anonymous No.10130393]

>wiping back to front
>brownballing it
>literal shit on your balls
disgusting

[Anonymous No.10130474]

>>10129715
I stand to wipe because it's hard to reach properly while sitting. After doing a dry wipe, I do a wipe with toilet paper wetted by the faucet.

[Anonymous No.10130489]

>>10130393
Do people really wipe back to front?
I've met girls that do that when they pee, but doing when you shit???
I don't think anyone does that.

[Anonymous No.10130547]

>>10130117
It's actually counter-intuitive but I pour the water through the front of my legs essentially over the balls (this feels great with warm water). Then using the other hand to scoop it up and wipe. A lot of it hits ass crack even from the front side. But again, this is rare because I shit at home in the mornings and ass blast with my premium bidet.

[Anonymous No.10130568]

>>10129715
I used to stand but then a friend in High School brought up the fact that some people stand up when they wipe and everyone around me was like "what thats so weird!". I haven't stood up since then.

[Anonymous No.10130572]

>>10130378
>get out of the shower to wash hands

[Anonymous No.10130592]

Now THIS is Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.10130604]

>>10129715
Roger Ver, Jihan Wu, Calvin Ayre, The 8btc mod (19hZx234vNtLazfx5J2bxHsiWEmeYE8a7k), Jiang Zhouer, the bitcoin.com cofounder, the Coinbase founder - all BILLIONAIRES who can complete the flippening with their own cash TODAY.
They're not doing so because they'd rather invest in BCH adoption. BCH adoption is skyrocketing while btc adoption is dropping.
In a few years both St Kitts and Antigua will use BCH as their main currency (Roger is working on St Kitts, Calvin is investing in Antigua more money than their GDP exclusively because of BCH adoption), Craig Wright will increase transaction counts by circumventing corrupt governments in Africa for money transfers (this one is not certain but very possible considering his funding), Roger is speaking to VIP-s every other day, including Japanese bank CEO-s, stock exchange owners, etc. Brian Armstrong will push BCH and shit on BTC subtly every chance he gets, bitcoin.com wallet is the most popular mobile wallet and it literally shits on BTC, propaganda/censorship effects are fading, Purse just added BCH meaning that normies can use it to get 20% discounts on amazon, Koreans love BCH and they seem to matter at least as much as Americans and significantly more than eurofags, miners are looking for ways to destroy BTC in the next few years otherwise their profits will crumble, LN is proving more and more of a failure every single day, Wright will patent-troll startups into moving into BCH, tipping on github is now possible with bch, smart contracts are coming in November, stress tests are a massive success, charities are popularizing BCH in struggling countries (Venezuela today, others will join in if trouble arises), Free Society project is progressing well, Circle is adding BCH next few weeks, Ayre who became a billionaire from gambling is going to create BCH-only online casinos

[Anonymous No.10130624]

I actually crouch down on the floor after shitting to wipe as that stretches my asshole area etc and makes it easier to really wipe it good. if you dont' do that, you're leaving POO right at the entrance way of your asshole and emanating poo gas wherever you go.

[Anonymous No.10130625]

>>10130489
Even if you wipe back to front I don't undestand how you get shit on your balls. You don't smear it all over.

[Anonymous No.10130654]

>>10129715
Patricians do the bulk of the wiping sitting down, back to center then edge work. After that you do the finishing touches 75% standing up with inspections after each wipe.

[Anonymous No.10130690]

>>10130568
Maybe everyone was a stander but one guy said he was a sitter and then everyone followed?
Public school should discuss asshole wiping techniques more openly. The American with shit smeared between the cheeks stereotype comes from somewhere.

[Anonymous No.10130700]

>>10130625
Maybe they have big nuts lol? I dunno man, I don't think anyone wipes back to front.

[Anonymous No.10130702]

am I the only one who has to poop naked?

[Anonymous No.10130723]

>>10129715

I stand up to wipe OP. You aren't alone. I didn't even realize sit wiping was a thing until I saw my gf do it when I walked in on her in the bathroom. It doesn't seem very efficient to me.

[Anonymous No.10130732]

>>10130702
Hahaha wtf
Do you get naked in public restrooms??
Ayyy lmao.
Why do you do this?
I once went to a bbq, opened the bathroom door and saw my uncle popping naked.
Thanks for the reminder lol

[Anonymous No.10130733]

>>10130592

Need to ask Bill Gates, George Soros, and Rupert Murdoch how they prefer cleaning their asses.

[Anonymous No.10130754]

>>10130733
>Implying they don't have people who do it for them

[Anonymous No.10130786]

>>10130732
Not that anon but I do it too. Idk why really I guess maybe because I was always shitting naked as a little kid and never outgrew that? Idk it just feels wrong to shit with any clothes on including shoes.

[Anonymous No.10130802]

>>10129715
sand to wipe and sit to wipe are both wrong, deviant actions. the correct way to wipe is to lean, either to the side or forward.

[Anonymous No.10130813]

Roger Ver, Jihan Wu, Calvin Ayre, The 8btc mod (19hZx234vNtLazfx5J2bxHsiWEmeYE8a7k), Jiang Zhouer, the bitcoin.com cofounder, the Coinbase founder - all BILLIONAIRES who can complete the flippening with their own cash TODAY.
They're not doing so because they'd rather invest in BCH adoption. BCH adoption is skyrocketing while btc adoption is dropping.
In a few years both St Kitts and Antigua will use BCH as their main currency (Roger is working on St Kitts, Calvin is investing in Antigua more money than their GDP exclusively because of BCH adoption), Craig Wright will increase transaction counts by circumventing corrupt governments in Africa for money transfers (this one is not certain but very possible considering his funding), Roger is speaking to VIP-s every other day, including Japanese bank CEO-s, stock exchange owners, etc. Brian Armstrong will push BCH and shit on BTC subtly every chance he gets, bitcoin.com wallet is the most popular mobile wallet and it literally shits on BTC, propaganda/censorship effects are fading, Purse just added BCH meaning that normies can use it to get 20% discounts on amazon, Koreans love BCH and they seem to matter at least as much as Americans and significantly more than eurofags, miners are looking for ways to destroy BTC in the next few years otherwise their profits will crumble, LN is proving more and more of a failure every single day, Wright will patent-troll startups into moving into BCH, tipping on github is now possible with bch, smart contracts are coming in November, stress tests are a massive success, charities are popularizing BCH in struggling countries (Venezuela today, others will join in if trouble arises), Free Society project is progressing well, Circle is adding BCH next few weeks, Ayre who became a billionaire from gambling is going to create BCH-only online casinos

[Anonymous No.10130816]

>>10129770
Yup then a check and a second wipe

WET WIPES ONLY. TRY CLEANING PEANUT BUTTER OFF A CARPET WITH A DRY SPONGE OR CLOTH LOL

[Anonymous No.10130835]

>>10130786
Shit, so many questions.
Do you get take off all of your clothes even when you have explosive diarrhoea and you can barely make it to the bathroom?
Do you poop naked on public restrooms?
Can you poop with clothes on or is it impossible?
Do you poop on the shower??
Also:
>Idk it just feels wrong to shit with any clothes on including shoes
Do you take your shoes off when pooping in public restrooms???

[Anonymous No.10130868]

>>10130732
I don't use public washrooms

[Anonymous No.10130915]

I do preliminary wipes whilst sitting down by putting my hand down the front between my legs and wiping back to front, after I feel there is more resistance aka less shit, I will stand with one foot up on the toilet swat and in a front to back motion reach around the back and wipe in smooth form swipes. I check each wipe for residue, once completely white toilet paper results I call it a day.

[Anonymous No.10130948]

How a true man wipes.

[Anonymous No.10130958]

>>10130948
Lmao
Also why does this happen?

[Anonymous No.10130990]

I just call my mom into the bathroom to do it for me.

[Anonymous No.10131061]

>>10130233
I read something recently that you have to wipe with toilet paper dry with baby wipes to be as effective as a bidet.

[Anonymous No.10131071]

>>10130347
What

[Anonymous No.10131145]

>>10129715
Standing to wipe is correct. Sitting is for inbreds.

[Anonymous No.10131157]

>>10131145
Yeah make sure you stand to get those cheeks squished together nice and tight.

[Anonymous No.10131168]

>>10130835
>Do you get take off all of your clothes even when you have explosive diarrhoea and you can barely make it to the bathroom?
I mean there's still that buffer zone between when you know you're to going to explode and needing to explode. I rip my clothes off then. Doesn't take longer than a few seconds. Though there's been one time in my life I haven't been able to take off all my clothes just like there's been one time in my life I haven't been able to make it to a receptacle to puke.

>Do you poop naked on public restrooms?
Yes.

>Can you poop with clothes on or is it impossible?
Impossible unless it's diarrhoea but even then like I said I'll try to get naked first.

>Do you poop on the shower??
Fuck no. That's disgusting.

>Do you take your shoes off when pooping in public restrooms???
Yes but I keep my socks on. Unless they are sandals then I leave them on.

[Anonymous No.10131207]

>/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.10131210]

>>10131157
t. six fingered sit-wiping freak

[Anonymous No.10131218]

>>10129715
Wash your ass with water uncivilized mutts.

[Anonymous No.10131233]

>>10131207
>>>/pol/ if you like your god damn rules so much you fucking tyrant

[Anonymous No.10131254]

>>10129897
i agree with this. I prefer to spray my ass in the shower after each shit. I like to time my shits before i take a my shower of the day. Really need a bidet desu.

[Anonymous No.10131282]

>>10130948
Holy shit my sides

[Anonymous No.10131300]

>>10129991
Amen fren. I got a $20 Amazon Ass douche. Now I blast that shit away and give myself a safety wipe which cleans any remaining. Use about 10% of the toilet paper that I used to use. Win win. Rich and a clean ass.

[Anonymous No.10131320]

>>10129715
Sitters will not enter the kingdom of heaven

[Anonymous No.10131323]

I stand up and wipe, also my wiping ritual is pretty long.

#1 - I wipe a few times with a new piece of toilet paper
#2 - I get a WET wipe, put on some soap gel and use the wet wipe to lather up the hole and that entire crack
#3 - Rinse with bidet
#4 - Wipe with toilet paper until dry

[Anonymous No.10131331]

>>10131323
Also, I stand up but I lift one foot and step on the bowl, to separate the cheeks better.

[Anonymous No.10131921]

>>10129715
Hybrid masterrace
Sit wipe first to knock hanging shit off. Otherwise when you stand up your cheeks will smash together and it'll turn into a big wiping job
Then, stand up and wipe again to make sure it's clean (it usually will be)

[Anonymous No.10131930]

>>10131233
>The one who cares about the rules should leave
Pol is for your kind though, faggot

[Anonymous No.10131939]

>>10129715
>Finance related because I think I use less toilet paper this way, therefore saving some money.
Get a travel bidet my dude. Will save you on toilet paper, and your ass will be much cleaner

[Anonymous No.10131947]

>>10130700
I do, have to swirl left or right when I get near my taint

[Anonymous No.10131992]

>>10130366
Has toilet.
Stores shit rags in box next to toilet.
Your not gonna make it anon!

[Anonymous No.10132005]

>>10129735
The standers lost more often in wars.
Something to think about.

[Anonymous No.10132013]

>>10129800
Or, when more experienced you feel more resistance in the wipe.

[Anonymous No.10132020]

These types of threads have killed /biz/. fuck you op, go back to /b/

[Anonymous No.10132040]

I shit once a week, i sit and wipe tilted. Or i stand depending on mood.
My girl doesn't have to wipe tho, i lick it clean

[Anonymous No.10132060]

>>10129863
How fat/short armed are you? I wipe both ways depending on viscosity of the shit. Never had problems with either

[Anonymous No.10132075]

>>10130018
This. My dick touches the toilet if I lean forward.

[Anonymous No.10132077]

>>10131992
kek
>>10130358
is right you cannot flush them they will fuck your plumbing, anyway the bin has a lid, but i put the lid away when i have guests i am anti social as fuck, also on the rare occasion people stay over i break out the itchy blanket and zero substance pillow just one pillow, cant have people getting too comfy in your house

[Anonymous No.10132104]

>>10130948
my fucking sides