[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / ic / jp / lit / sci / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports ] [ become a patron ] [ status ]
2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/biz/ - Business & Finance


View post   

File: 67 KB, 523x600, 1529246976050.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10014482 No.10014482 [Reply] [Original]

So how should I explain the 3 year employment gap on my CV?

>> No.10014493

Tell them you were pulling tricks and shooting rock.
Worked for me.

>> No.10014492

>>10014482
make stuff up that fits the job you want and have your friend be the reference

>> No.10014506

Your Dad had serious health problems and you took time away to take care of him.

>> No.10014531

>>10014482
Blockchain asset manager.

>> No.10014532

>>10014482
You were on a farm training chickens for the impending race war.

>> No.10014534

you were self-employed mining crypto for a living, you sold the top and got out of the game and are now want to get back with working with a team to build something great and contribute value
you're welcome faggot

>> No.10014558

>>10014482
You were transitioning.

>> No.10014602
File: 274 KB, 1500x1000, 1519099335829.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10014602

>>10014482
Dont worry nobody will call you for an inteview with that kind of a gap. Statistically your chances to get back into wageslaving other than cleaning toilets are very thin, employers smell danger off your cv and hr thots it's some kind a joke. I too have a gap :))

>> No.10014610

>>10014482
you don't explain 3 year employment gap. you make stuff up to fill that gap

>> No.10014630

>>10014602
>>10014482
If you wanna work go get serving job, it will solve the gap issue by showing that you are employable and earn good boi points

>> No.10014673

>>10014482
say you were day trading forex for a living. whatever you do, dont mention day trading of crypto.

>> No.10014929

Thanks for the replies, what if I tell them that I was working as a retail investor primarily focused on hedging options based on the barbell method where the volatile side was measured using Vega?

(in reality I just traveled and played around with Crypto)

>> No.10014965
File: 436 KB, 1536x2048, 1529760042101.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10014965

>>10014492
This, told my current employer I worked for Blackrock and my best friend played the director role haha.

They choose me a neet over some chads just because of the name Blackrock.

>> No.10014997

>>10014965
nice larping session there, any decent employer in the finance industry outsources resume checks and you have to give them hr company email adresses along with your reference.

>> No.10015004
File: 40 KB, 349x356, A64BF77C-324C-461F-B387-6233D2BFEE2F.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10015004

>sign up for welfare and gibs
>pretend to be slow and somewhat retarded
>of course don‘t get a job
>can sit at home and keep buying crypto with welfare gibsmedat
>doesn‘t matter now how many holes are in your cv

>> No.10015018

>>10014534
this

>> No.10015033

You lie. Fill the space with a DBA, your own business, anything.

>> No.10015064

i've had my bro pose as my employer before as well, if it's a bigger corporate job with human resources doing background checks etc. then it's pretty much a catch me if you can heist you gotta pull, but it's doable. Create a VOIP account, create a phone number, give them that number then create a custom directory using a girlfriend acting like the admin assistant, number routes to friends phone from directory, done deal

>> No.10015102

>>10014997

Lol you actually believe this?

>> No.10015115

>>10015102
seeing as i went through that exact process multiple times, yes i do.

>> No.10015141

Lie on your resume. Put a company that isn't in business anymore so they can't check.

>> No.10015143

>>10014534
This. Act like you don't need the job but want to do it because you are a "go-getter" and they'll give it to you.

>> No.10015286

>>10014506
This is actually true for me. I'm getting ready to apply for jobs in a month or two and am worried they'll think it's bullshit

>> No.10015474

>>10014482
Say you were freelancing

>> No.10015601

>>10015286

they will

they are soulless robots without family or life outside of their corporate jobs

>> No.10015805
File: 57 KB, 584x960, zyklonb.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10015805

>>10014482

You were in a coma from a motorcycle accident.

>> No.10016168

just make out your some liberal retard and have been traveling around the world to 3rd world shitholes in Africa and France helping migrants to safety. go full liberal and you will get employed

>> No.10016201

Why the fuck are you making a CV?

>> No.10016289
File: 37 KB, 500x281, 11148e0b6b4fb39fd95575ca310f4d82[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10016289

>I worked as self-employed in the FinTech sector.
>Now that I'm retired after these 3 years of success, I'm considering to get a ordinary job to stay humble and never forget to work hard.
>After all work sets you free.

You're welcome, nigger.

>> No.10016372

>>10014482
Say what ____ said: medical leave of absence. No one ever checked and ____ been with current company over a year. ____ gap was 1 year and a quarter tho. ____ did a lot of drugs back then thats basically why ____ was out just getting by sellin weed and unemployment checks like a nigger but now things are a little better cus ____ dont smoke dope anymore and current employer has no clue.

>> No.10016396
File: 1.38 MB, 400x225, laughing whores.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10016396

>>10014482
>CV

>> No.10016398
File: 192 KB, 600x600, wikikanye.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10016398

>> No.10016642

>>10014534

This.

>> No.10016665

>>10014482
Tell them you were trying out self-employment

>> No.10016827
File: 501 KB, 597x900, tumblr_n87ee5TgWC1rgdjn8o3_1280.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10016827

>>10016665
They dont like it, most good jobs get 100-200 applications at least. Into the trash it goes auto filter with gaps and bullshit smelling stories. The ones with known companies in cv get thru filter. It is over for op, time to focus on crypto trading =D

>> No.10016910

>>10014610
Ding ding

>> No.10017035

Just be honest, you quit your last job to trade shitcoins and need some employment for a year until your filthy rich

>> No.10017114

You were the CEO of a bullshit company.

>> No.10017281

>>10014534
Wont work

>>10014492
Watch out for what you pick. Someone inside might know the company and call you on your bullshit

>>>10014482
Dont you have any friends, relatives or ex classmates who own a business? Just tell them you've been caring for your father and ask them for permission to put their business on your resume. People dont really ask for references on entry level positions most of the time.

>> No.10017353

>>10016827
>well known companies get through

Yeah. I talked to a nationwide representative and she literally told me they were looking for interns who had already interned somewhere else first so they could see how great nationwide is. Wtf is this bullshit.

>> No.10017380

>>10014534
>>10015143
thanks, I'm gonna do that for my 1.5 gap year. not entirely true but I did make lots of money in crypto.

>> No.10017381

amateur financial technician specializing in cryptocurrency arbitrage

>> No.10017442

>>10017353
baby boomers and jews

>> No.10018202

>>10014997
In Australia all they want is a phone call lmao

>> No.10018228

You worked as a private contractor to NSA but you can't disclose anything about it.

>> No.10018233

>>10014531
Backpain asshole massager

>> No.10018265

>>10014482
Just tell them the truth: you were wearing out your kneepad because of too many liquidations

>> No.10018323

>tfw 4.5 years gap
Is it over for me, /biz/?

>> No.10018442

Can't you enter in the army? They always in need of cannon folder.

>> No.10018462

>>10018323
>tfw 4 year gap
we’re done

>> No.10018504
File: 68 KB, 640x360, 130131064543-exp-early-myb-romans-job-00020125-horizontal-gallery.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10018504

>>10016827
And yet employers say there aren't enough skilled people to fill the jobs?

>> No.10018537
File: 67 KB, 746x748, groypsnap.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10018537

>>10014534

>> No.10018607

I hate employers

>> No.10018629

>>10018607
Same

>> No.10018635

>>10018607
Same

>> No.10018706

>>10015064
yeah but if you can trick the company you deserve the jerb anyway

>> No.10018782

>>10018607
Same

>> No.10019023

>>10014482
Go to a temp agency, they have an incentive to find you a job

>> No.10019181

>>10017381
I think I technically qualify as this

>> No.10019360

>>10018607
Same

>> No.10019791

>>10018607
same

>> No.10019866

>>10018607
Same

>> No.10019903

>>10014482
Explain you were developing a new altcoin called Kneepads & Chapstick (KPC)

>> No.10019946

>>10014482
It depends on why you left your last job. A good excuse is something like "I arranged to leave for another company, but their budget was slashed and they reneged on hiring me after I had left my last job. While looking for a job I started getting into crypto currency. But I was getting severe stomach pain which was going to interfere with my ability to work. Now that I've gotten those issues out of the way I'm looking to get back to work." The helping a family member trick works too.

>>10015143
Bad idea. They like the financial leverage an employer has over the employee. It's the same reason they don't hire "overqualified" people. They'll skip out on the job on a whim as opposed to a good wageslave who would be homeless if he got fired.

>> No.10020134

>>10014482
"I fell for the crypto meme"

>> No.10021009

>>10014482
>So how should I explain the 3 year employment gap on my CV?

ALIEN PROBING

>> No.10022060

>>10014558
kek, this is a valid response in 2018

kek

>> No.10022182

>>10016289
>Work sets you free.
Oxymoron kek

>> No.10022353

>>10014965
what kind of role did you get? how do you make a believable lie about your previous job?

>> No.10022505

>>10019946
Nope.. Leave health stuff out of it. Makes u weak and a person thats prob. Going to be out sick alot.

>> No.10022537

>>10022505
what do you think of the "i started my own business" or "freelanced" idea?

would employers think:
>why doesn't he continue doing that, is he a failure
>will he be good at being an employee and following directions after being self-employed

>> No.10022562

>>10014997
I had a background check to receive security clearance for a company that does government contracting. They couldn't receive a response from my university to confirm my education, so I made them call my friend.
No lying involved, they literally used my college friend as a stand-in for my university.

>> No.10022581

>>10022537
all about how you spin it. they may think both of those things but you have to frame it like you left because of other complications, not because it failed.
a good angle is tell them it was successful and you learned a lot but it simply didn't pull in enough and you didn't have enough capital to wait a few more years to see if it would continue growth. this is great because it singals 1) you started and had a profitable business, albeit not wildly profitable and 2) you're desperate for money which employers love to hear
literally all of this is spin, framing, etc.

>> No.10022767

>>10022060
It really isn't

>oh fuck this woman, man, whatever the fuck she is, is going to be serious liability in multiple ways for us without any tangible benefit. NEXT