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7932426 No.7932426 [Reply] [Original]

my thoughts feel two dimensional and are expressed internally through sporadic half-sentences made of a limited vocabulary
it's like I no longer have a train of thought or inner monologue
thinking feels cumbersome and sluggish
my mind no longer plays with new ideas and concepts, it's like it takes everything at face value
it's difficult to visualise things and see through my mind's eye which is hell because I thought in image and loved reading fiction
I've started mispelling basic words by writing them phonetically

my vision seems to always be out of focus
not that objects are blurred, more like I'm never really looking at anything, only through things or focused on the entire sight in front of me

I've been this way for the past six months
I exercise, meditate, eat well and have a job
what pains me the most is that I used to be pretty intelligent, creative and could write well
I can't help but compare my present and past self then feel like death

what's happening to me?

>> No.7932511

Get off /biz/ Mr. President.

>> No.7932535

>>>/x/

>> No.7932551

>>7932426
see a doctor?

>> No.7932571

>>7932426
You're a special snowflake mentality experiencing the normal process of aging but instead of accepting it as the normal process of aging as a special snowflake mentality you have to blow it up into something metaphysical.

/thread
P.S. If you're a weeb like me, look up 中二病 because that's what you're suffering from

>> No.7932593
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7932593

>>7932426
WELL I GUESS THIS IS GROWING UP

>> No.7932631

>>7932426
Parasites, brah. Those faggots will tear your focus and well-being up very subtly over time. Some of it may be unknown food allergies. Chemtrails, idfk.

>> No.7932635

tell us, what coins did you buy, so we can stay out? you bought BTC didnt you?

>> No.7932670

brain tumor
or maybe you just became a normiefag?

>> No.7932707

i feel the same way, anon. i've been able to identify some of the causes like low iron and food allergens (lactose mostly). get a full blood panel and start taking more iron

i haven't gotten the full blood panel myself yet because i'm scared they're going to find something

>> No.7932777

I take 50mg of Zoloft and 100-150mg of Modafinil per day and I am pretty sure this has raised by IQ several points - my neurons are on fire.

>> No.7932829

Chemtrails and eating shit food
You need to decalcify your pineal gland

>> No.7932842

>>7932426
Take some shrooms out in a nice grassy field. Day time obviously. Take like .5g to 1g of dried shrooms

>> No.7932849

>>7932426
Wow anon same thing is happening to me!
Let me know if you find out!!!

>> No.7932934

>>7932777
Dont take that shit long term anon. Its good for a few months but after that its fucking terribad for you

>> No.7932972

decades of eating poison food and breathing poison air get to you

>> No.7932988

>>7932426
Probably being gangstalked and having your brain microwaved by an energy weapon.

>> No.7932998

>>7932571
its not aging because your verbal skill(vocabulary, reading, speaking, writing ability) only gets better as you age

>> No.7933005

>>7932426
This sounds too familiar but I can blame two decades of debauchery and self-medicating. Some days my mind will be racing with ideas and I feel on top of everything for a couple of hours before sinking back into the bog. Aging certainly plays a role but depression shouldn't be overlooked as it will cause fogginess and the negative outlook and lack of passion will kill creativity. Keep eating right and exercising is all I can say because it does help.

>> No.7933016

>>7932934
Yup
Once every 1-2 weeks at most is sustainable

>> No.7933017

>>7932426
nice just transcended 100k

>> No.7933022

>>7932426
See a doctor. Start taking those gimmicky little brain training quizzes so you can see if this is real or just imagined.

>> No.7933059

>>7932426
Me too anon. Exactly the same. I briefly improved (dramatically) while taking levothyroxine for hypothyroid and using an oxygen machine for 10 minutes a day. I felt like my old self. I lost my insurance and was taken off the thyroid meds and oxygen. Back to having to drag thoughts kicking and screaming from the void. Those solutions are Worth a try, if you can swing it.

>> No.7933182

>>7932426
Oh, and say hi to Algernon for me.

>> No.7933197

>>7932777
I also want modafinil so badly, but they are prescription only in Europe, don’t really know where to get them.

>> No.7933207

>>7932426
Go to a health food store and buy some of the iodine they have locked up. Get some liquid magnesium too.

>> No.7933243

>>7932426
Sounds familiar. Google brain fog, try stuff ITT, try stimulants, see doctors

>> No.7933265

get more sleep

>> No.7933308

>>7933059
maybe its an iodine deficiency? its hard to get iodine in our diet and its very important in the thyroid

>> No.7933332

>>7933197
Either just ask your doctor for it or buy adrafinil its a prodrug

>> No.7933489

Acid dude
trip on one or two tabs
then youd get your old self back
not even memeing

>> No.7933521

>>7933197
You can buy them off the regular internet no problem sold a research chemicals.

>> No.7933572

>>7933308
>>7933207
I wat more salt than anyone I know and still have low blood pressure, so thus would make sense. I'll try it, thanks. Also have very low vitamin D (an 8!), OP, and have been advised it can cause brain fog, so will be trying that as well. If you test low for Vitamin D and supplement, take magnesium as well to avoid calcium implantation in places it shouldn't be.

>> No.7933646

Maybe you need new stimulus?

>> No.7933662

>>7932571
I'm 19
>>7932670
I've had two mri scans which both came out clear
>>7932842
I'm going to take 7g in silent darkness when I've learned to grow my own
>>7932849
I'll keep you posted what's your msn ??
>>7933265
I generally go to bed at midnight and get up at nine, is that unhealthy?
>>7933207
>>7933308
>>7933572
I take iodine each morning with 10000IU vitamin D
>>7933489
I tripped two months ago and my symptoms got worse but set/setting was admittedly shitty so that's no surprise
I'm not using psychedelics again until at least a year from now, if not longer

>> No.7933681

>>7932426
My guess is you have a job that is limited intellectually? And by that, I don’t necessarily mean a physical job. Even jobs like neurosurgeon forces you to be in the “now” and to use only a certain type of thinking. Then you come home and understandably don’t want to engage in complex thinking as you don’t have enough motivation to do so after a day at work?
Tell me if I’m wrong, that might be the NEET inside me writing.

>> No.7933729

>>7933662
Get a Western blot test for lyme disease then, anon.

>> No.7933789

Might be candida, basically fungus decomposing you.

>> No.7933810

>>7933681
I'm a chef and dropped out of university from a course I had no motivation to study for but I'm trying not to starve myself intellectually by reading philosophy but I'm in a constant state of inferiority when I read concepts that I'm sure I would have been able to grasp and analyse a year or so back
my attention span has also seemed to shrunk back to infant levels
>>7933729
I'll look into it, thanks

>> No.7933907

>>7933197
if your in the U.S. and have insurance its easy to get. I get it all the time for 30 bucks a bottle. Schedule 4 here.

You can also buy it online from india for 300-400 bucks for 500-600 pills. Just make sure to send 2-3 of them to a lab for testing as you may get fucked quality wise.

O if you get a perscription, get the 200 milligram ones. That way you can break em in half if you want to do a half dose one day. I found myself using 2 100mg on my first script was irritating.

>> No.7933922

>>7933681
I had a blood sample taken recently and it was mildly awkward but it took seconds so whatvever. The girl taking them was sitting there doing vial after vial after vial after vial. It's not the most educated medical job but it's well above my shitty warehouse job yet I go there every day with a smile on my face because I have 9 hours of hilarious banter to look forward to.

>> No.7933934

Hypothyroidism. Buy synethetic T3 and T4 and experiment with the dosages. MD's are utterly useless when it comes to chronic illness like this.

Read Ray Peat. Read Aajonus Vonderplanitz. Eat more, make sure you get plenty of carbs both starches and sugar, at least 100g of protein a day, and avoid PUFAs like the plague, eat saturated fats instead. If you have the money and energy try to eat as many of your foods as possible raw but this isn't necessary.

If you share email or other means of contact we could chat.

Try it for a couple of months and if it worked out for you please send me a tip.
ETH: 0x0785256Fddac0cFC299c85ed2be251beA64ff251

>> No.7933946
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7933946

>>7933182

>> No.7933975

Fluoride.

>> No.7934013

>>7932426
Classic symptoms of depression. There is no way out.

>> No.7934051

>>7932829
fuck i wish this werent true... but i feel more and more everyday that they are poisoning the skies

the other day in northeast pa, i was going down 476 towards philadelphia and i shit you not i drove through a literal chem-cloud at 6AM

I have seen pesticides/herbicides/spraying/brewery run off/dog food factory run off/chicken farms in my life having lived in the country and this shit was different.

I felt half awake that entire day...what THE FUCK was that. and btw I see chemtrail spraying planes every single day without fail, unless its just a constant fog of chemicals because they are doing their job so well

>> No.7934066

>>7934013
Time is your way out but it's the hardest HODL of all.

>> No.7934154

>>7933789
How do you fix this?

>> No.7934173

There is literally no way for us to know because there are beyond thousands of things that may have caused this. Evaluate your life and see what has changed between now and when you felt "normal". Then you move down the list of parasites/vitamin/nutrient deficiencies/infectious diseases etc in order of likelihood

>> No.7934249

>>7932426
read into emeramide—also known as bdth2 or irminix

read into it, and truly ask yourself if you've been given mercury poisoning from amalgam fillings or some other source
this had happened to me
if this is what happened to you, then multiple doses of emeramide for several months is your best fucking shot—and it works fucking great
take regular walks and eat meals rich in quality protein and healthy fats

a good way to describe it is like living the same kind of generation loss that happens when you copy a source vhs tape to blank tape, and then copy that tape to another—and so on and so forth
nobody even knows it's happening but you
it is one of the worst possible ways to well and truly die in every sense other than having a pulse (with a high, and then low blood pressure)

>> No.7934336

>>7932842
this OP. Been doing same thing with LSD, tripped 2 weeks ago and microdosed a couple days the last few weeks and I feel like my mind is young again. Definitely recommended.

>> No.7934394

>>7933662
>iodine

Look man, I was into that whole OMG we need tons of iodine every day thing for a while to. The truth is that the science is out and it might be hurting you more than helping. Lay off it and cut your vitamin D dose down to 3000 IU for a month and see if that helps. If not get back on it. My only advice, heed it please.

>> No.7934587

>>7934154
Think you can take caprylic acid. Natural methods would be coconut oil or apple cider vinegar. Work either one in your diet and it will kill candida.

>> No.7934713

Schizophrenia.

>> No.7935012
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7935012

>>7933810
read into this >>7934249 shit, nigga
seriously—given your age, if you've ever had these godforsaken fillings at any point in your life, they have not done you any favors
fuck—even if your mother had them, they've impacted your development negatively, thought probably not to a point where they'd lead to the degradation that you're describing if mercury from them had been passed on prenatally
mercury is truly one of the most godawful sick fuck elements known to man
you'd be surprised to see just how such a gigantic and biologically incompatible fucking atom can somehow manage to bumblefuck/plow its way through as many important and useful fucking things and connections in something as tested and refined as the human body before it finally gets caught in something that resembles a double thiol group
it just fucking destroys everything
it does nothing else but fucking destroy anything and everything that is functional and healthy

>> No.7935101

>>7935012
>tfw I've had fillings like that for years

I'm fucked

>> No.7935120
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7935120

>>7932426
Pebbles within a stream become polished as they flow amongst the current but those that do not create turbidity in their wake, remaining motionless, eroding over time, and being torn away piece by piece.
Destroy the pebble blocking your path lest you suffer their fate.
Someone is holding you back
Kill him

>> No.7935267

>>7935012
Dental amalgam releases negligible amount of mercury over the life of the filling. If you're concerned about your mercury exposure, I guarantee you'll do more by cutting out tuna from your diet.

>> No.7935393

>>7934249
Did you take this? Curious to know your personal experience. Where did you buy it from? I have multiple amalgam fillings and have been worrying about mercury poisoning, definitely gonna look into this

>> No.7935563

>>7932842
this
it sounds to me like you could be experiencing cognitive difficulties associated with depression. psychedelics may help with that greatly. just remember to not block the trip, though I'm sure you know that by now.

>> No.7935726

Exercise, diet, sleep, meditation, pranayama, and some light psychedelics are all great BUT, do you have a purpose in life?

Your brain is a lazy piece of shit and if you're just floating along in life, your brain will do the same.

Things in motion stay in motion.

>> No.7935752
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7935752

You're going to die anon

>> No.7935845
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7935845

>>7935101
no you aren't
emeramide, motherfuck
it is un-fucking-believably effective at chelating mercury (and to a lesser degree, cadmium and arsenic) without fucking with zinc and copper and shit
it is a fucking GODSEND—and probably the only reason why i'm not either a rotting fucking retarded corpse at my father's house, or dead in a ditch somewhere
it utterly blows DMSA and DMPS the fuck out of the fucking water
there is absolutely no comparison
you have no idea how grateful i am for this shit

>>7935393
yes, i have taken it
tried administering small quantities of it intranasally, dissolved in a bit of coconut oil which i then emulsified (by shaking) in warm water
can only get it from experimental drug/lab supply websites
do your own research—some offer it much cheaper than others, but all of it is overpriced at the moment
for the most part you can thank the fucking FDA for that one
out of all the borderline experiemental chemicals being sold as supplements on the market, they went after the one that is actually seriously fucking useful and is proven to work what amounts to fucking miracles compared to what anything else can do in its field
and it does it ***while being fucking non-toxic***
small animals that were given doses of mercury that were well in excess of the lethal amount and were then given emeramide FUCKING LIVED AND WERE FUCKING UNFAZED
LIKE
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ALMIGHTY—NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
WE ********HAVE******** TO FUCKING BURY THIS
NOBODY IN THE PUBLIC CAN GET THEIR HANDS ON IT

sorry
i know i'm not helping my case that its treatment was successful on me, but to have fucking lived this crushing illness for seven years and then find out that there is something that is essentially a magical fucking cure that costs nearly nothing to make and is known to researchers but is borderline fucking banned is kinda mindblowing

>> No.7936043

I have the exact same symptoms OP. I think it has to do a lot with sleep.

>> No.7936098

>>7935845
Do you realize that is standard procedure with the FDA? It's run by the drug companies, and they go after any and all herbs, supplements, experimental drugs, whatever that works and helps people and is a threat to their medical monopoly and pharma drugs. It's by design.

>> No.7936213

>>7935845
Why didn't that girl from Dartmouth who died of mercury poisoning use this?

>> No.7936553

>>7935845
As someone that usually gets side effects-- Are there downsides?

>> No.7937370

>>7936098
i'd gotten the gist of this before—but, it was only after finding out about emeramide that i developed an understanding that barely anything that these people would have you believe is safe and effective medicine is either safe or effective

it makes me wonder what other cheap-ass solutions there are to problems that their very system has made commonplace
it makes me wonder just how fucking bankrupt a determined businessman with the near total anonymity that the decentralized blockchain can provide could make these people

>>7936213
i think that emeramide was only discovered in 1994 when researchers were searching for candidates to use as chelating agents for groundwater mercury and arsenic (from industrial mining and refining? can't remember, but i think that it was later found to be pretty successful for mercury in this case, but not the dominant form of arsenic)
her (miserable fucking) death happened in, like, 1997, though
word probably wouldn't have spread from the university of kentucky (where i'm pretty sure it was discovered) to dartmouth college (where she worked and researched) between that time
the sad thing is, too, that she was confident that she could save herself

fuck

>>7936553
not
a
single
fucking
thing.
not a fucking trace of a side effect. i am not kidding.

>> No.7937414

Op I expereic the same thing. Are you an immigrant by any chance?

>> No.7937553

>>7937414
I am and have this problem too. Do you have any hypothesis?

>> No.7937869

>>7937553
I still think in my native tongue but I’ve stopped learning my native language so my mind has stopped expanding beyond the words I’ve known. Due to my surroundings I stopped speaking my native language and only to my family and it’s stuck at grade school levels( that’s when I immigrated). I have an English speaking persona of myself that I have to constantly switch into when I think or I regress back into my young immigrant self. It became apparent when I took a heroic dose of lsd a few months back

>> No.7938029

>my vision seems to always be out of focus

wtf you are me

>> No.7938139

OP, I was you, albeit to a lesser degree. I'm not sure about you but weed was my catalyst. If you are smoking weed, you should stop.
What fixed me was smoking pipe tobacco. I had a cigar at a bachelor party for the first time and I realized it fixed my problem. This was not a placebo. People around me noticed I was clearer headed, more aware and more sociable. If you don't want to smoke a pipe, consider vaping (though you will appear flagrantly homosexual). I understand you may not have a positive perception of tobacco but it's important you try it, it just might change your life. Depending on your country, vaping might be cheaper, in which case going that route may be for the best. Unironically DYOR on pipe tobacco before you start. It is very hard to find information that is anything but absurdly critical of tobacco. You will not become a walking tumor. Pipe smoking has notably improved my athletic performance and overall confidence. Give it a chance.

>> No.7938279

>>7938029
Going to take this as another opportunity to shill pipe tobacco.
There's a reason tobacco spread all over the world so fast after discovering it. It embodies the American Spirit.

>> No.7938311
File: 91 KB, 1000x561, naked-1993-007-david-thewlis-looking-up.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
7938311

>>7932426
Fluoride poisoning

>> No.7938367

>>7938311
http://12160.info/m/discussion?id=2649739%3ATopic%3A1400813

>> No.7938674

I’m in a similar position, OP.

I have constant brain fog, I have difficulty putting together complete sentences, remembering simple words, getting up in the morning and having any real willpower to accomplish anything. Oh, I also don’t have any good feelings. Everything is a constant “meh”, I’m anxious or sad. It’s rare I feel any positive feelings. Excitement, authentic happiness, etc are pretty foreign to me for a few years now.

Sometimes, maybe once every two weeks or so I feel like my old self... smart, quick to understand, communicating with no problems, full of energy, etc. I think it has to do with a mixture of maybe what or how I eat the day prior / a certain amount of sleep I may or may not get. I don’t know. It sucks because I feel like my old self is buried and only appears every now and then.

I don’t bother seeing a doctor because it’s immediately something that requires pills. Both of my parents were junkies so I do what I can to avoid any and all medicine.

>> No.7938848

celiac disease. stop eating gluten

>> No.7938886

>>7938848
non-celiac gluten sensitivity sounds more likely

>> No.7939101

>>7938886
Elaborate?

>> No.7939272

>>7932426
Quit the pot or any psychotropic drug immediately .

>> No.7939295

>>7939272
Why? What is it exacerbating to cause this condition?

>> No.7939374

>>7936553
and—when i say "not a trace of a side effect", i don't just mean with me
this shit has no fucking side effects
on the contrary, it is a supremely powerful antioxidant, and is also being researched as a potential treatment for COPD

so
we have a chemical so ridiculously non-toxic that a ~140lb person eating half of a pound of it would experience no symptoms of toxicity,
that is, *by fucking miles,* the most effective chemical for the treatment of mercury poisoning—probably ever discovered,
and is also a fucking superantioxidant,
and is, also, being further studied for its effectiveness in the treatment of COPD

and the fda cracked right the fuck down on it
but
not sodium fluoride tablets (which are obviously fucking toxic, jesus christ—the fucking food of the darwin award championships), or boron supplements (which are NOT toxic and are actually great in their own right, but boron is not recognized as an essential nutrient), or any of the other supplements that could, for legal or fucking bureaucratic purposes, be argued to not contain anything that plays a critical role in the function of the human body

it makes little sense for the fda to be anything but an entity designed as a component in the operation of a corporatocracy

>>7938674
read my posts, just in case you've had amalgam fillings

>> No.7939391

>>7932426
You are becoming self aware.

>> No.7939409

>>7932426
>smartphone
>porn
Get rid of these two things.

>> No.7939511

>>7932777

"Modafinil is reinforcing, as evidenced by its self-administration in monkeys previously trained to self-administer cocaine."

Man, I bet those monkeys know how to party.

>> No.7939813

>>7933729
Shit never leaves you. If you got it OP, good luck. Don't go homeless.

>> No.7939814

>>7932426
u might have adhd, it made me randomly develop a stutter and just feel stupider in general.

>> No.7939923

>>7939409
There's a lot of advice in this thread that may or may not actually be good, but I can say from personal experience that this helped me immensely.

Also (and I really cannot overstate this part enough), ELIMINATE alcohol from your diet if at all possible. Alcohol consumption, even moderate over an extended period of time, disrupts a number of chemical receptors in your brain, reducing your cognitive function, emotional stability, and fine motor skill (have you noticed your eyelids twitching at all recently, that's a telltale sign). If you can't eliminate it reduce consumption as much as possible for as long as you're able.

Good luck bro. Make no mistake, the modern world IS poisoning us. You're not crazy.

>> No.7939926

>>7939813
Antibiotics for 3 years. Hypothyroid meds plus very clean, grain free diet. Hormone balancing, supplementa to include d3, b12, strong probiotics and k2. Im at about 80 percent of pre Lyme, now. A thousand times better than the shell I was while sick. It is arduous but possible. Life is worth living again. A LOT of promising treatments with stem cells and new medicines in Europe. One coming out next year out of Boston kills spirochetes, cystic biofilm or not. Please dont say shit like that to people living on the knife edge that is Lyme. They already believe there's no way out. Its untrue.

>> No.7940015

>>7933662
go fist fight someone randomly like fight club. make them throw first. feel alive and stop being a faggit. get smashed up or smash someone up. it's part of being a human

>> No.7940044

>>7939391
this is exactly what they told me
this is what i told myself, after awhile
"you're not just dying,
you're becoming truly intelligent
it may seem like everything is fading away and you're becoming more and more like a mindless robot that has become numb to your endless physical pain and steady mental decline
but you just don't understand it; this is true enlightenment"
i eventually realized that this was probably not right
and now, i get that it is complete and total shit
pretty sure that not even being able to picture things in your mind's eye and totally losing touch with your most beloved and deep personal interests is the exact opposite of a good thing
let alone losing the ability to quickly learn things, losing the ability to understand and store knowledge from books, losing your love of music, losing your ability to do math in your head, and generally completing every task much slower are all bad things

>> No.7940046

>>7939923
i second you. stopped with alcohol 1 year already

>> No.7940075

>>7939926
Yes, I have been down this road too. Oral and IV antibiotics, a whole load of alternative medicine, hormone replacement, micro-nutrient supplementation, stool transplants so the antibiotics don't destroy my digestion for good, amphetamines to battle the fog. The most promising has been ingesting ceylon cinnamon oil from Sri Lanka for busting bio-film and taking care of spirochetes that decide to dig deep and hibernate, kinda like Herpes. I can remember the single digit times I could see pictures in my head, but I can't remember what it's like to feel normal anymore.

This aside, it turns into a psychosomatic disorder. Whether it has any validity or not, anyone suffering from chronic lyme is not within a normal range, when considering thinking. You're not insane, but you're not normal. Not autistic, or any of the other regular mental disorders. It's a different, deadly way of thinking. It may leave you, it may not, but it doesn't seem like it has. If you're young, you have hope of a good enough recovery that you'll be aware of it, if you're older and you only started proper treatment 3 years ago, good luck. It's not doom and gloom, it's just what it is.

>> No.7940094

>>7932631
parasites are incapable of existing within the body. The body is a very sterile environment. The one exception is malaria which is indeed a parasite. But you will be dead pretty quickly from that because as soon as the blood stream becomes non sterile you get fucked up quick smart.

>> No.7940199

And now actually reading through this entire thread, it's strange. A bunch of people whose mental trains of thought have been deranged. Whether they're right and everyone else is unsaveable, I don't know, but it's difficult taking >>7940044's posts seriously, after a "recovery" (call it what you will) from such a mindset.

Either the alt-med crowd is right, and we're paying the price with our mutated and fucked genealogy, or they're off kilter and it's good that they all crowd around late at night in places like this.
>>7940044
Btw, you sound like you've fallen for a MLM. If you want to help more people, modulate your energy. Right now you're only attracting those who have the potential to become as "crazy" (call it what you will) as you.

>> No.7940340

>>7940075
I'm truly sorry that you've also dealt with this nightmare. I'm not young, but regardless, I am mostly recovered. I'm in remission and I hold out hope that a cure will be released in the next few years (like the CURZA CZ-99 treatment out of Boston I previously mentioned). If nothing else, crypto may allow us to pay for new treatments elsewhere when they become available. I understand finding peace in acceptance, but please try not to give up on yourself, anon.

>> No.7940488

>>7938674
They were junkies because they were self medicating what you feel right now. Medication under a doctor's supervision might not be a terrible idea.

>> No.7940560

>>7940488
dont listen to him, dont use the jew pills, they fucked me up

>> No.7940853

>>7940488
It was under a doctors supervisionz they were abusing prescription meds.

>> No.7941212

>>7935120
kek

>> No.7941240

>>7932426
smoked too much weed or took too much acid

>> No.7941661

>>7937869
I know exactly what you're experiencing. I'm going through something very similar. I was born in Russia and moved to Canada when I was 8 years old. I spend a lot of time thinking about what kind of a man I would have grown up to be if my parents never moved and it really depresses me. Most guys my age in Russia are coming home from the army around this time, and most guys in my social circle in Canada spend their time playing video games and smoking pot. I also kind of have 2 personas like you mentioned. When I'm at home I'm more mature (although that's not been the case recently since I've been depressed and degenerated back into playing video games) and when I'm out with friends I'm kind of a pussy because that's what I saw all around me growing up and it kind of shaped my character even though I know it's not something that I should be. It's weird to describe and I don't know anyone irl who would even understand this feel, let alone relate to it.

>> No.7942710

>>7941240
that could be the case
I've been sober for two months now but used weed, lsd, ketamine, 2ce, oxycodone, pcp, xanax, valium, amphetamines, mdma, ambien, and 3-fpm on the reg
am I fucked?
I heard neuroplasticity is a thing

>> No.7942840

>>7933197

I am UK based and I buy them from afinilexpress with bitcoin. It's like $50 worth of BTC for 50+ pills.

I buy modvigil from them because modalert is pajeet tier quality control with some being super strong some batches being shit. Modvigil is much more reliable.

They ship from Hong Kong or India and arrive in Europe at your door within about 5 days.

>> No.7943026

why are there always brainfog and what not threads here. i had a major bout with brainfog and still do but i've reduced it somewhat. i found my problem to be oxygen metabolism rate due to permanently increased cerebral adrenaline from abusing caffeine (i think, anyway). I was able to arrive at this deduction by trying out 3 different drugs which all affected my fog quite significantly in different ways so I just had to connect the dots.
the first was Desvenlafaxine which made me worse, the 2nd was propranolol which made me better, and the 3rd was escitalopram which also made me better.
The reason Desvenlafaxine made me worse was its reuptake inhibition of cerebral adrenaline.

>> No.7943081

>>7943026
propranolol is a cereberal adrenaline antogonist so that helped me.
escitalopram is a serotonin reuptake inhibitor which didn't help me initially since it wasn't directly affecting adrenaline. But I had read that through 3 months or longer of usage, the increased serotonin levels have a secondary effect of reducing adrenaline and that is what happened to me. so i've been on that for the last 7 years because propranolol affected my heart in an undesirable way. i had to figure this shit out without the help of any doctors since doctors only really have a broad knowledge of things so if you want to get into the specifics you have to research yourself

>> No.7943092

>>7942710

dude weird I was high all day every day for like 6 years straight mostly just bonged herb, but eventually got into concentrates even harder...sometimes my buzz would last when I got to work but it didn't matter because it was unskilled labor. Eat right exercise the full 9 yards and I also quit about 2 months ago. It fucks up your dopaminergic systems in the brain. It should eventually correct itself but as I result I've noticed apathy, feeling withdrawn, little motivation to do anything but sleep, and the inability to want to focus for long periods of time. I feel great physically but mentally im a wreck. I just gotta keep going man it will get better I'm sure

>> No.7943156

>>7933662
>I generally go to bed at midnight and get up at nine, is that unhealthy?

Depends on your quality of sleep. There are many factors that can affect it, such as ambient noise, oxygen levels, lighting levels, etc.

>> No.7943207

>>7940094
>parasites are incapable of existing within the body
WWWWRRRRRRROOOOONNNGGGG

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_parasites_of_humans

>> No.7943302

>>7943207
did you read the rest of what i said?

>> No.7943318 [DELETED] 

>>7943207
those are all in your gut, not your sterile bloodstream

>> No.7943324

>>7943302
Yes, and it was retarded

>> No.7943334

>>7943207
those are all in your gut, not your sterile bloodstream. or at least mostly which is the point i was trying to make with my original post.

>> No.7943392

>>7932511
underrated

>> No.7943435

>>7942710
its weird how often im telling people this in the last few days.
Go read about racetam (piracetam, noopept etc), and their influence on memory and cognition. There are studies on google scholar, although not that many.

i myself only got into this because i read it somewhere here about brain plasticity. look into it. But these aren't strongly researched chemicals.

>> No.7943460

>>7943435
oh you were already discussing nootropics. heh.

>> No.7943465

>>7934051
>gassing your own cabin
>chemtrail confirmed
leave, mongrellus