/biz/ - Business & Finance

They feel good crawling on skin too ^_^

>low effort
Yeh its actually not

>>9156787
They all run away, i'm ruined.

>>9156834
I know, right? OP doesn't realize the delicate needs of each individual snail. You've got to measure their pH daily and croon them gently to sleep each night with the soft caresses of your voice.

>>9156787
tell me more about this anon

>>9156787
how sell snell??

>not shrimp

you fool

>>9156787
>trying to walk through that
fuuuuuck

>>9156787

Sorry to busy farming shrimp

ITT fake internet funnymoney farmers shit on a real profession with a real market and real demand.

I'm farming silkworms instead. Fuckers are a pain though.

>>9157267

I mean look at this little gold-shitting bastard.

>>9157223
>implying any of us actually know how to mine effectively

>not being a humble mushroom farmer

>>9157345

Tried that. I wound up growing enough to subsist on but didn't have enough closet space to grow commercially.

>>9156966
>find french restaurant who need snail
>buy snail eggs or whatever
>breed snail
>sell snail
>profit

>>9156966
i want to come on that girl's face. not the turtle's face though. i don't find him sexy at all

>>9157085
we need more minerals

>>9157386
snails lay eggs? the fuck

>>9156859
this guy gets it

>>9157425
what do you think is in that shell?
step on one and like 1000 tiny snails scatter in every direction.

>>9157425
Did you think they were mammals?

>>9157433
i thought slugs were born and they had to find a shell in nature that fits them

>>9157445
this is the best thread on biz for the past week. lmfao!

>>9156787
All in shrimps desu lad

>>9157278
How much do they truthfully make you?
And like, what the hell do you sell from them?

>>9157445
And they said you can’t find laughable posts on /biz/

>>9157445
Where would all these shells in the wild come from though Anon?,

>>9157466
>>9157033

Please give us a serious guide on how to farm shrimp, thanks

>>9157495

So far nothing, I'm in the "learning how the fuck to do this" phase.

You sell the silk from the cocoons they make when they metamorphose into moths.

>>9156859
>their pH
The truth y need delicate for everything in this world if y want to success with it

>>9157445
kek

>>9156859
Worst part is if you dont, they'll never make a decent fleshlight when you glue their shells to the inside of a cup... becomes such a waste...

>>9157445
ur thinking of hermit crabs friend

>>9157671
are the shells actually sturdy and smooth enough for this to work?
Asking for my dad...

I got worms

>>9157869
share please

when moon

>>9156787
Because I don't live in a 3rd world pajeet country.

>>9157786
Shell against cup good CA glue or use a thick silicone layer, foot/underside of snail against dick. Its like fucking an alien that can blow you and fuck you at the same time, then when youre done you can even detach the snails, fry em up and serve them to your family. They should be perfectly salted too so no need tp add anything

>>9156787
Snailfags trying to push their pest as wares
Dont stray from shrimp anons
This is the aquatics version of street shitting

>>9156966
How has the snail farming industry made it this far without an ERC20 token of their own for so long? Snailcoin ico when?

>>9157883
Worm farms are easy. Just throw your food scraps in a bin with some worms in it. Sell the worms to fisherman and the worm shit to farmers.

Easy 100X.

>>9158032
This but unironically. You can actually net a nice little profit with pretty minimal effort

>>9156787
Snails aren't easy to farm. They produce a lot of waste, are voracious eaters which makes them poop A LOT, are opportunistic cannibals, and don't do well in dense populations because their slime has hormones that discourage growth/reproduction.

>>9157223
So are you just shitposting or are you really this asshurt?

>>9157513
Dead snails obviously

>>9156966
How did she get that snail so big?

>>9158394
>>9156859
>>9157399
>>9157445
>>9157671
>>9157956
>>9157962

this thread is golden

>>9157345
You sound like a fungi.

>>9158350
Which came first, the snail or the shell?

>>9157297
This. I'd love to mine, but like most of /biz/, I'm just too fucking stupid.

Mushroom farming, snail farming, beekeeping, and shrimp farming. Who wins?

>>9158560
Shrimp farming
The jews fear the shrimp

>>9158350
Kek

>>9158560
The one with the gasoline

>>9158560
>I have two friends who keep bees (one professionally, one for a hobby).
>I've considered mushroom farming in the past (both halluginogenic and cooking).
>Dog breeding is also easy af

These things are definitely possible. You could set up a tiny farm in terms of land used and still have decent cashflows from all the various niche products you create.

>>9158560
I think growing greens like lettuce and kale provides the best return

>>9156787
This thread is bullshit, don't try snail farming if you aren't going to dedicate your life to that. It takes tons of effort and rewards aren't too great, shrimp farming is more profitable and rewarding imo. Snail farming was a huge pain in the ass for me.

This whole shit is cracking me up.
Thank you shrimp bro for making biz great again.

The absolute state

thank you just bought 100k

>>9158943
Shrimp needs attention, growing olive trees means I just sit back and pay people every now and then to collect the tons of olive oil.

My brother and I used to force snails to race. Whoever refused to race got laced with salt

>>9157945
I hate life

>>9156846
Ha

>>9157445
Those r thugs, not slugs

>>9157945
do you have a pic of this?

>>9156787
Why farm slug more slug
1- Slug is so much light than snail who have shell to copy slug technology.
2- The snail use the shell because is a fucking faget.
3- snail got crush so easy, and you can give the slug to ur dog chew and it ll still eat lettuce.
4- shell is MORE heavy than no shell.
5- some slug have internal shell because more evolved
6- Your cousin will not want to stay on your house to play slug.
7- If you trow the slug on the wall, the wall will go up.
8- Trow both on water and watch which will come up first. over 9000- slug at mate will make a slimecord. The snail will show dribble.
10- All slug are hermaphrodite. Snail is too but because faget
11 - slug is the name of a bullet. Snail means it is slow.
12 - Slug will eat carrion, slug dont give a fuck
13- slug didn’t needed an upgrade. Slug is perfect

>>9159270
How do I start with growing olive trees? Can they survive freezing temperatures in the winter?

>>9159678
sick and fucking tired of slug shills invading biz
this place has gone to hell

>>9159270
You'd make more on the oil if you kept all the trees isolated so they couldn't pollinate each other, but that'd probably be a lot more work.

>>9159688
dunno I just bought land in spain with a fully functioning self irrigating olive farm.. not really but I'm thinking about it

>>9159470
Tfw no snail fleshlight

>>9159643
Phoneposting sadly so cant. Visiting an old friends mom for the week.

Didn't expect this thread to be still alive. Oh well. Some background: I own 2 acres of land (almost 1 hectare, not going to tell where, snail farmers are easy to find) and just let snails live there freely in a controlled area. They require very little upkeep except for bringing in green for them to eat. I get about 15 tonnes of snails, which sell for like 35k euros give or take. Initial cost is like 20k to get enough eggs, set up the environment, fix nets all over and some electric wires to repel birds and mice and such. Half or 25% of 20k is like the eggs themselves and after a while you can get that back by selling eggs yourself to new breeders. So revenue is around 35k, cost for food, labour (highschool students farm them when they are ready) etc is like 15k. Netting me 20k or so. Been doing it for two years now and am already profitable. Looking to expand into more land as it scales perfectly.

It really is an easy business once you find out how it works and are able to manage it. Like a passive income actually. Snails are also delicious and I eat them often.

>>9156859
This is bullshit. Biggest problem is shit like birds et cetera trying to feed off them. You either have to do it inside or get a gigantic net over it with electric pulses. If you don't have monitoring on the electricity or on gaps in the net your money will get eaten alive.

>>9159761
Yeah, I read it takes 50 years for the trees to mature. And they probably wouldn't do well here in central europe. I'm however thinking of chilli peppers farming. According to my calculations, 400m2 land would net me ~4k€, at ~700kg yearly production. Might be worth it, considering I can get such land for 13k euroshekels.

>>9159829
>Visiting an old friends mom for the week.
anon... why are you visiting your friends mom....

>>9159919
Technically he wasnt really a friend and he picked on me a bit at school.

Made friends with his mom through one of those craft market crap things when she recognised me. Ive thought about railing her old ass to get back at him but i doubt anything will actually happen... i just need the implication of me coming over when he finds out to worry him

>>9159919
>>9159849
Dont get me wrong though, i am still gonna try fuck her and get some pics. If i can i dont know where ill post em though

>>9157085
this but unironically

>>9160075
>>9160096
holy fuck godspeed my friend that is just too good, post them here but make it something about business idk

please include "mom" in the subject so I can find it in the archives lmao

>>9156787
escargot my car go one sixty swiftly

>>9157513
>Where would all these shells in the wild come from though Anon?,
acorn hats.
poor anon is confused with hermit crabs.

My nan likes snails to crawl over her body. It was some weird ass massage shit she was into. Im convinced she let one slime over her pussy once because i saw out of the corner of my eye she was lifting her bikkini bottoms up. Fucking hate snails please delete thread.

>>9157513
Shells come from the sea, have you never been to a beach??

This is a neat thread. I have 13 acres with zero trees. Haven't done a thing with them.

>>9160200
My slug likes nan's to crawl over her body. It was some weird ass massage shit she was into. Im convinced she let one slime all over her pussy because i saw out of the corner of my eye she was lifting her shell bottoms up. Fucking hate nans please delete thread.

>>9158898
>Dog breeding is also easy af
for reproductive purposes, you're doing it wrong anon. You can't interbreed different species.

I love this shit lol

>>9160241
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNLPXzlz6-I

So this... is the state of /biz/... in a sideways market... woah

>>9160268
iaintclickingthatshitniggathomas.jpg

>>9160268
>>>/x/

>>9160136
In bedroom now, just talking about dumb bullshit. Trying to upload a pic but biz keeps giving me some dumb fucking upload error

>>9160429
>>9160136

>>9160429
yeah I can't upload my reaction pics, something aint right

>>9156966
One of the most dangerous things I've ever seen. The cute snail could bite her face clean off in 2 seconds.

>>9157437
imagine a snail sucking on his mom's tit haha

>>9158412
took me a while to get it.
Decent chuckle, 58/100
Well played anon

>>9160475
Fucks sakes, cant be wasting precious time when i should be trying to cream her insides. This is my last attempt and then i give up because she just made a mild suggestive comment

>>9160492
you have to fuck her

Reminder snails are overbought
This is just pajeets shilling their pests as pets
Buy srmp

>>9160492
>>9160540
Keep us posted you lucky faggot.

>>9160540
I see it, fate brought you here, your goal is to penis dominate your bully's mother

>not farming slime mould
Anyone who knows anything knows slime mould can turn into a slug and move about if it needs to. Whats a snail but a slug in a shell? I've been fertilizing slime mould with human dung for years. After a while it moves in sheets towards the array of empty shells I leave near the nursery, it branches off and viola, snails! The beauty is they absorb the cellular material that did not coalesce into slugs/snails and it becomes a somewhat continuous process.
>also do you guys like when women go the ladies room on you/?
>and when it comes to blacks, thumbs up or thumbs down?

for real now, not sure how legal this is but this is legit.

>get a bunch of hamsters
>let em have a moment
>now you have 50x amout of hamsters
>sell as snake food

ez?

>>9157445
God damnit, I had to leave this thread because it was killing my sides, and I come back and this is the first comment I read.

Someone archive this shit.

>>9160569
>>9160566
Right. Game time. Best i could get without getting caught. Gonna warm her up to the idea of a camera after i do the most important part and fill every hole i can with my jizz. Might post it later

>>9160740
Also lastly before i go. Uploader is dogshit now. Had to waste so much fucking time changing image properties on my phone trying to get this shit to upload. Someone needs to fix this trash

>>9160740
Fucking A+. Post it.

>>9159716
>Extra Virgin Olive Oil joke
Subtle. 10/10

>>9156966
As a veterinarian with a minor's in terrestrial gastropodology, I can tell you that isn't a snail.

>>9160740
dude what.
you are a legend.

>>9157357
>closet space
What kind of mushies were you growing there, friendo?

>>9156834
T. snailmogul trying to keep people out of the business

>>9160163
>I know you stickin it into this snail cup and squishin it against your dick it’s ticklish, they’re grippin it, so dip it in, nigga it’s easy!

>>9160740
Legend.

>>9158560
I do a bit of beekeeping. It's crazy how much honey you can get. Also it tastes fucking amazing.

>>9157399
He's at least as sexy as she is. I think you might be racist

how do you keep snail digging bitches from taking advantage of you once you make it?

>>9161008
can you fuck it?

>>9156815
i like you
i hope your stance on link is mere memery, because i want to feed you link cubes

>>9160740
How can /bix/nood be so gullible? Clearly that's not some old mom, and clearly he didn't go from "probably nothing will happen" to "hehe anon I'm naked" in no time. Fake and gay

>>9161125
I want to believe

>>9156787
Tell me about the costs and profit pls

>>9159703
my sides

>>9158560
Truffle farming

>>9161125
The fuck are you taking about. She looks in her 40s,

>>9156787

>>9156787

I love eating escargot, farming snails looks like a pain in the ass tho

snail egg caviar is also a thing too, and expensive as hell. I heard a little tin costs like $300

>>9161241
snails

>>9158560
>>9161186
>>9158616
>>9158642
>>9158898
>>9158911
>>9161008


farm farming

>>9159678
This but only big banana slugs. None of those pussy nigger slugs.

>>9161112
I guess you could, if you were so inclined. Not really my thing though desu

Escargots taste nice unironically

>>9156787
Imagine the smell inside that tent

>>9156966
Imagine being 120 years old and some thot millennial comes and takes a selfie with you while laughing with her friends.

>>9156787
My family runs their own agribusiness. More effort, but we make higher income.

>>9157345
>being a humble mushroom farmer


How long can you hangout in there until you're quite sick?

>>9157445

>>9161401
first dude to make a million dollars during the gold rush was selling shovels

>>9158898
I've read too many nightmare stories of people trying their hand at dog breeding. Go the mushroom route.

>>9157357
takes about a mono tub a day to make any money. For that amount of risk you need to sell em on the darknet which is a fucking pain in the ass. Can make more just doing crypto. God I hate my fucking life cant even have women over to fuck cause there is not lieing out of that one.

>>9156787
this is a shrip farming board snailcancer gtfo

>>9160268
fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you

>>9162447
Pleb, mushroom farmers always on anti-fungals

>>9162724
lol

What about tilapia? I know you can raise them in tanks and every bit of them is sellable, from the meat to the poop and dead fish as manure, to the babies being sold as bait fish or colony starters. Bonus points if you set up an aquaponic system that raises plants and purifies the water for the fish.

Milk goats seemed good too for making homemade feta, milk, and cream.

Bees for honey and wax. Royal jelly is a bonus.

>>9157445
no, thats sluts

>>9162706
>you fuck
I do, thanks for noticing

>>9159678
Someone post that argument post from 9 years ago..

>>9156787
Only African giant snails are worth the effort.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5ElMzxqC9A
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GToWzbkPTzs

>>9160268
Are these actually real or are they just the finger boxes of the bio science field?

Need more pics of the milf

Bump

>>9164562
those are some happy niggers

>>9157445
man i thought this too

>>9157445
Then where would they find the shells lol.

>>9162606
This, dog breeding is hard work if you actually want to do anything even resembling quality.

I want to start breeding giant rabbits, actually, mostly for food. I don't have the place for them tho so that's a bitch. Also would have to figure out something how I would deal with them if I left for a week or something.

>>9166325
interdasting

>>9166495
In what way? Which part?

>>9167032
giant rabbits

>>9167106
Right. There are multiple types, most common are the Belgian giant and the German giant where I live, though there's also the Hungarian giant which is apparently a bit more resilient and undemanding (i.e. can thrive just fine on a diet mainly made of grass which would cut down costs), though strictly speaking may not be too economic due to higher infant mortality and slower muscle buildup. I also just want to own hugeass fucking bunnies so I think I will just go for whichever grows the biggest.

Anyway, it's all a pipe dream because I'm currently renting a flat in a big city, but fuck I'd love to have a backyard and keep some of these fuckers just so I could eat clean meat all grown by myself, without it being pumped full of chemicals and shit.

>>9167245
I've dmor and read that it's not profitable. They eat 0.5kg each day and shit a lot. You'd have to calculate the variable costs and how much can you make selling it for meat or little bunnies as pets. Probably only worth as a hobby though.