/biz/ - Business & Finance

Literally every hipster is making their own honey and selling it. Good luck

Why did you post this?

>>9120716
DELETE THIS

DON'T LET THESE CRYPTOKIDDIES KNOW WHERE THE REAL MONEY AT

Dumbest larp I've seen on this board. You are not making half a million a year on bees. Even old timers with thousands of hives are struggling to pay the bills these days. Commercial beeks are a dying breed. The money is no longer there.

>>9121090
hello newfriend

>>9121090
the only reason they struggle is because i want them to. this is because i am the shrewdest of the beekeepers. i use my honey gains to destroy any competition by paying irishmen to go round their hives and whisper "you're gay" at the bees until they get confused and stop producing. i also get them to sabotage the beekeepers costumes so that they get stung in the penis to death by sexually confused bees and die in actute agony.
basically i am sending a message: there can be only one bee daddy up inside this bitch planet.

>>9120716
>as you probably know, the world is full of disgusting sweet-toothed fatties who like nothing more in life than raping their own crusty pancreas by chowing down on daddy nature's sugary precum. The demand created by these blimps far outweighs what my african ebola bees can shit out, which in short means i make the big money.

Outstanding description OP

>>9120716
How do I get into exploiting these diseased sacks of blubber? Is there any trick to stealing food from insect babies or do you just threaten them with a gun?

>>9120716
You can also rent out your bee colonies to farmers that need bees for pollination services.

>>9120716
how many hives do you own? I personally only own 6 hives that i keep year round to help pollinate my dads orchards in the spring.

Very poetic. You have a way with words, anon.

Lool, nice larp, dude. $500k per year is like 1000 hives on a good year, and that's being optimistic.

>>9121090
Stay poor honey.

>>9120716
nigger if u make 500k on bees u are just seeling drugs

>>9122103
>How do I get into exploiting these diseased sacks of blubber?

What you do is cut your honey with sugar or high fructose corn syrup up to 90-99%

Believe it or not up to a few years ago practically every bottle of honey in the supermarket was cut this way.

A study exposed it, but I am positive the practice remains because once you cut the product it is difficult to detect.

Thats right, faggot.

That honey you were squirting on your white bread out the head of the honey bear bottle. You got cucked.

>>9122292
We should start a honey farming collective with crypto as collateral, we can collect monthly dividends based off percentage of crypto donated. Then we get a big farm with fiber, shitpost, trade crypto, tend bees. Who's down?

I wanna make bank like you OP.
Do I just go around with a glass jar and catch bees with it and force them to work for me?

>>9120716
k

>>9120716
>>9121918

I like your writing style OP

Thanks just bought 100k bees.

>>9122373
You need to catch a swarm along with the queen

>>9122103
>Is there any trick to stealing food from insect babies or do you just threaten them with a gun?

pro-tip for you: one method i like to use is not shower for about a week at at time, then cup my balls with my mousing hand (also unwashed) and wave it over the hive in a figure of 8 pattern for maximum stink trail coverage. this puts the bees in a deep meditative state where i can do anything i want to them. and i mean anything. when i am finished arranging them into lewd sexual positions for my own amusement i scoop out the honey and make the big bux.

>>9120716
Fuck im dying hahahaha

11/10 larp we need more quality like this

WTF BIZ I ALREADY BOUGHT MY CRICKET + SHRIMP SETUPS, NOW YOU'RE TELLING ME WE'VE MOVED ON TO BEES?

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK IM GETTING SOME SERIOUS BEE FOMO, HONEY $1000 EOY

>>9122523
We are diversifying anon

I really like this guys style.

>>9122523
10/10

>>9122373
>Do I just go around with a glass jar and catch bees with it and force them to work for me?

my method is a little unorthodox, but effective: i go to my local park and take my pants off, spread my ass cheeks apart, and run around backwards whilst shouting "supper time" and start absorbing bees until i feel that my colon is suitably buzzing. you'd be suprised how many bees can be harvested in this manner. afterwards, i waddle back to my farm and then fart them into their new abode. because of the time we spent together (i call it "bonding") their loyalty to me is unquestioned.

>>9120716
>2018 still into Bees
>not farming shrimp
300k starting my first year catch up.

Hao ling at this

>>9120716
in order to make 500k a year you would need a 100% success ratio with over 1,000 hives.

and your a dumb ass for thinking honey is for fat asses. Its actually extremely healthy compared to HFCS, GMO beat, or aspartame you fucking low IQ anon.

>>9120716
Yeah no thanks gaylord. I make $4.2 million a year as a welder working 3 hours a month from my house so enjoy gaying it up with your homosexual bees for a measly $500k Lololol

Is it on binance?

>>9120716
I also keep bees,but I use the honey for social climbing, it's a much better deal than money desu.

Promotion: jar of honey
Getting laid: jar of honey
Housewarming gift: small jar of honey
Etc.

>>9122908
How many hives?

>>9122908
this man knows whats up
everyone always welcomes a jar of honey, especially in winter

>>9123002
When I started out I was in charge of 28 hives as part of a research project into the fungicide iprodione, so I got a big crash course, doing daily detailed inspections and general maintenance.

I only keep one hive personally now, I've had trouble with robbing when I keep two hives on my property.

>>9121918

Best reason for colony collapse.

>>9123127

Do people actually steal your honey?

>>9123226
He means his bees rob each others hives.

>>9123226
the African bees have a tendency to steal honey from other beehives, usually to swarm off into a rotting tree carcase that usually collapses within a few months

>>9123255

Makes sense. One's a good hive another's a bad hive. From across the tracks.

>>9123255
Yes, this

>>9123255
Is it only minority or African bee species that exhibit this behavior?

>>9120716
good thread OP

>>9121090
>honey is a dying business guys!
https://www.honey.com/honey-industry/statistics/wholesale-honey-price

fuck off

>>9121918
Based

yea good bread I just got high and spent an hour trying to catch a wasp to impale on a toothpick and mount on my fence so the other cunt bees would know to stay the fuck away from my house

i was using a blowtorch and a can of white lithium grease as a flamethrower, and one of the dumb fuckin things finally succumbed to my armament. it was a well preserved specimen but i ended up torching it to ashes.

I fruitlessly hunted for another for quite a while before I decided to set a trap - a slice of kiwi that I pulpified and doused in the aforementioned white lithium grease. I actually managed to soak a big fucker in the grease but he flew off before I could set him alight. Now I am off to Chick-fil-A for a Spicy Deluxe, hell maybe even a chocolate milkshake

Bees dint need land to graze like cattles. They flywhere miles to somebody else land to find nectars. Low cost farming.

Nobody yells at you if your bees feeds on some one else garden flowers.

You dont need to feed bees. They will find their own food. Just need to give them place to live.

>>9121918
Best thing I read all day

Honey is one source of revenue. There's also bee pollen and royal jelly.

>>9123271

Pottery.

>>9122523
this is a good post

>>9123674
>www.honey.com