/biz/ - Business & Finance

bump. I want /s4s/ to leave already

>>739
>Goatmeal
I would like to sign up to be your exclusive distributor of this product in the streets aroung Wrigley Field, home of the Chicago Cubs

Who would want to eat at a place called Goatmeal?

>>847
I think we need to at least sell it while Tom Brady is still playing.

>>739
food trucks cater to drunks and construction workers

there is no money in restaurant

>>929
It's kind of tongue in cheek, so people with a sense of humor. Obviously not you.

Free-market Federal Substitute [FFS]

A paramilitary contractor specializing in wealth redistribution and general plunder.

People could donate money to deciding whom they strike next and who profits from it after FFS takes its cut.

We hire a bunch of hipsters to make "clever" names for non-existent business and hire a crack team of 4channers to produce hair-brained business plans based on the names. We sell these business plans to upcoming entrepreneurs who need an idea.

>>976
That's narrow minded. Imagine if a Goatmeal cart was right outside the subway station while you went to the office in the morning. If you are hungry and in a hurry, but need something that isn't cheap shit, Goatmeal has it for you.

Also, the overhead for Goatmeal is drastically less than a normal food truck.

>>1184

No one wants fucking goat milk faggot.

>>739
Have you ever tried to drink unpasteurised goat milk?

It literally tastes and smells like pus.

I think your target market of people who have acquired the taste for goats milk will be tiny.

Will not be investing in or stealing your idea.

>>1006
I tongued your mom's cheek you has-been.

>>1344
>implying he ever was

He should just kill himself, this thread is embarrassing.

>>1378
>>1344
>shitposting
>can't think of a better idea than Goatmeal

>>1416

I did, I suggested you kill yourself.

>>1433
>shitposting
>can't think of a better business idea than Goatmeal

>>1487

Not investing in Goatmeal.

Ice cream gloves. Tired of ice cream spilling all over your hands while eating it? Put on these stylish gloves to protect yourself from sticky ickies! These gloves are for the on-the-go businessmyn and are sure to bring in mad money.

>>1520

Better than Goatmeal.

>>1304
I do, however, believe that there is a market for hot porridge in the morning. But you are then competing with: MCDONALDS which sells porridge for about a pound along with a selection of tasty breakfast items.

From having been in the crepe business for a while and having flogged a few "breakfast crepes" outsidadatrainstation I know you are fighting an uphill battle against people who have coffee and cigarettes for breakfast along with the yoghurt and smoothie purveyors and mcdonalds.

also, since this is a breakfast item, your business will be open from 6:30 to 11am at the most.

>>739
fuck it OP i'm investing in goatmeal. do you live in the London? I can't provide much startup money but I can man the stall for 3days a week for free and provide my van as transport for the stand also I have a railway arch where you can lock up the stall overnight.

Why wouldn't you at least call it gOatmeal?

>>1647
actually I'll invest in goatmeal as long as we keep the name goatmeal but secretly replace goat milk (because its horrible) with cows milk.

>>1006
Your shitty "tongue in cheek" comment is not a litmus test for a sense of humor, dipshit.

>>1520
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkuOuxRD1Bc
stealing ideas now? and moot said this board wouldn't be full of jews.

>>1647
No i'm actually not in London. Sorry m8

GOATmeal

Your idea, except we make GOAT meals

>>2064
UK? What part?

tfw I want to pitch my legitimate idea.....

>>739
Yes, ok

So lets say you live in NZ or aus. Theres a small loyal market, maybe 6000 bottles of Rush and alkyl nitrite aphrodisiac sold in adult stores for sex.

>get reactor
>get chiller
>make isopropyl nitrite

Already walking the talk

>>2243
Bro i'm in rural midwest USA.
>>2302
Trust me, no one here is going to capitalize on any other idea pitched here. You are safe.

>>1097

Legal businesses only, pls.

>>2426
Not even that, just from the shitposting.
my tl;dr is that I've designed a weatherproof and vandalproof touchscreen for use at public spaces.

I can install them for free and undercut advertising firms by hundreds making a generous sum per machine and drastically opening up the market of possible clients aaaand making people happy with simple to find information. I have one city who want to see my prototype upon completion and has also asked to place a bid for advertising at the end of the year when the contract is up.

>deleting your shitty touchscreen idea

a weed bus that goes from various places into the main cities of america or something where people just get on and get high

A cafe that delivers.
I live in a large city, and its split between the commercial side, and where most people actually work. There are many business parks, and theyre miles from the nearest store. There are lunch trucks, but theyre all shitty ass quality. So I thought why not make a cafe that operates normally in store, but can also use bike messengers or something to deliver good quality food and coffee all across the city.
Thoughts?

>>2426
>Bro i'm in rural midwest USA.
Never mind then. Good luck with Goatmeal

>>4013
You mean something like 'darwins deli' It's a bicycle sandwich delivery service that takes lunch to offices and shit.

There's about 3 of these business in London and they're bitchy as fuck about each other, constantly stealing each others employees.

My opinion on the food business is pretty low.

Unless, you come up with a brand of something, like a high end brand of cakes or biscuits or muffins, get some African bakers to actually make them and package them nicely, put your fancy branding on it and sell them to high end department stores. basically getting other people to do everything for you and taking the profit for yourself

Characters that give back to the community

>Nonprofit Organization
>Uses Comedians, Character Performers, Mascots, and Thespians as "product"
>Performances are held at charity events, fundraisers, and charity shows
>Gives an opportunity for aspiring actors, comedians, and entertainers to showcase their talents to the world
>We market them for free at our fundraisers and charity shows, as the revenue from these events will go to our charity
>Charity will go to funding community centers, schools, libraries, etc

A redbox like service...except with headphones. I'd place them at major airports.

You guys can't tell me you pack up and leave your house, get to the airport and on the plane and only then realize you forgot to pack your headphones, and now you can't watch any of your movies on your tablet on your 15 hour flight.

I've had this happen to me a few times.

Well let's think, we're all posting on 4chan. What would these neckbeards fork over their shekels for?

>>4882
Dragon Dildos

>>1239
goat milk is delicious fool. You bring that shit into a wealthy city filled with hipsters and you've got bank.

goatmeal is now this boards official first meme.

>>4802
>Nonprofit Organization

What about Foot Fetish porn?

>>5038
Just saying, can't think of many sites that actually do non amateur shit. Think about it guys.

>>4892
Never happened to me because I'm not forgetful, especially with such long flights. They already have electronic vending machines at many airports and I doubt people want to use used headphones.

>>4679
I forgot the numbers reset for each board, fuck that looks weird. The city in question is liverpool btw, from what you can tell do those business do alright? Besides the dickish tactics?

>>5102
>They already have electronic vending machines at many airports
Yes, sell me your over priced headphones that are now marked up 200% over storebought price.

>>4954
>mfw work for JPM
>mfw stealing all ideas ITT
>mfw will be rich as fuck off goatmeal alone because Boston is hipstertown.

>>5352
If you really want to capitalize off this shit, then I'd suggest Portland or Seattle

>>5121
As far as I know they do alright, Darwins Deli employs about 20 people. And I think it's the second largest. They deliver to office workers who don't want to leave the office.

I guess in liverpool you are competing with the regular burger vans and sandwich vans that park up in the industrial estates that have paid for a pitch.

That's where you come in with your sandwich truck, if you can do some research on which factories or businesses do not have a canteen you could get a sort of "round" going and make a killing at lunchtime.

Just make sure what you're offering is cheaper and more modern quality than the burger van. also do like a meal deal like a sub sandwich or pie + drink + yoghurt/chocolate bar/crisps for £3.50

I always thought about a huge line of Fee-free ATMs. Because of the lack of ATMs in Australia.

So people pay an annual fee for infinite free access to these atms, that also come with a coin counter so you can unload your change and deposit it directly into your account or in a high or lower denomination cash.

Thoughts?

Some kind of, like, general sex place. It would have a similar system to a gym, and it's basically for people who want to fuck with multiple other people. Very strict rules for anti-rape and stuff. It's assumed that you are willing to fuck with anyone else there of the opposite sex, and that guy's are wearing protection. If either of these things are not true for you, you have to say them.

There would be one larger common room with furniture and shelves with sex toys and shit on them, as well as cleaning materials; you are expected to clean up your own mess. There would also be private smaller private rooms that you could lock.

I've been thinking about this idea for awhile, and I don't really see any problems with it. You would just have to sign a waiver to go in every time, or you could buy a membership and just show a card or something.

What do you guys think?

>>5537
how much do you actually know about your local sex laws, anon?

>>5544
>Coins deposited in an ATM

That's what piggy banks are for, faggot

you know, there's this website
you can find people you know
you can see their interests, relationship status, and other info
how is is different from MySpace or Friendster, you might ask
here's the punchline:
>harvard dot edu

> a /ck/ thread on /biz/
> copying one of the slowest boards

Off to a great start on the most useless board on 4chan.

>>5537
10/10, I'd call it
Brothel

>>5629
You want to look like a faggot walking into the bank with a bright pink porcelain pig?

>>5611
Still don't fucking understand how Facebook did it.

Was it just more user friendliness?

>>5544

>>5685
aggressive marketing and being fucking lucky.

>>5537
Like a sex club you mean?

>>5685
it was very elitist when they started
I think the Social Network nails it

>>5657
>Thinking all piggy banks are pigs

A piggy bank can refer to any home coin depository, homo. It can be a bottle, a jar, or anything that coins can be put into

I have a porcelain rocket ship. Do you think anybody will think a guy with a rocket ship is a faggot? Fucking idiot.

>>5685
>Still don't fucking understand how Facebook did it.
what is better than a good idea?
a good stolen idea

>>5594
Basically nothing. It's not something I would do myself, just an idea I had.

>>5656
Nope. There are no whores. You're paying a company to use their property for sex, rather than paying a person to have sex with them. It's not prostitution.

>>5748
Kind of. That's what it would be for members. If you don't want to be a member, then you just have to sign a waiver every time you go in, and maybe you have to pay more, whereas a member would make monthly payments.

>>5789
Okay you got me Anon I laughed.

But the coin depository is for people who always have a shit ton of coins in their wallet or pants and just never could be fucked to take it out. And also to break notes but don't want to buy something from a store.

Plus on my trip to America I encountered drive thru ATMs. That doesn't exist in Australia.

>>739

/fit/ here

Change goat milk to whole milk, park in front of gyms and we'll throw you our shekels like there's no tomorrow.

>>5521
Yeah I dont have much experience in the retail industry, but ive worked in enough office blocks to know how fucking horrible they can be

>>739
Okay this pitch is a movie.
It stars Zach Braff in smalltown, USA somewhere ordering a Russian mail order bride.
The bride arrives and at first wants nothing to do with him and is just looking for citizenship.
But then through a serious of escalatingly romantic and quirky events, she comes to care for him.
Super indie soundtrack a lot like Garden State.

Thoughts?

here's the next big thing
a website that creates websites... that create websites

German here
what does pitching mean?

>>5954
it's baseball slang for throwing the ball
in this context, it means showing your idea (and possibly try to sell it to VCs or investors)

>>5954
Throwing out ideas and trying to convince people that they're good ideas.

>>5954
to present an idea, like throwing a baseball, and letting others whack it. You can further the analogy with home runs and strikes or whatever.

>>5919
He should have a married best friend who keeps pestering him to get a girl, since he hasnt had a date in like ten years, which is why he ordered the bride. The best friend should be thefat guy from the hangover. alternate movie idea. Fat guy from the hangover is a neckbeard, he dies age 80 or something, and the entire movie is spent through flashbacks of him awkwardly hitting on traps. I call it /fit/izen Kane

>>6011
the umpire is the free market

>>5978
>>5990
>>6011
I see thank you

>>5544
Anymore anons opinions?

>>6083
>you see thank you
I can't see it

>>6110
It's a shit idea. How could you possibly achieve this? You'll need millions of dollars to even start. You have no way of making a profit apart from the "annual fee" which kind of defeats the purpose of a fee free ATM in the first place.

>>6231
Thank you for your opinion anon.

What area of the world has the most lax laws regarding the harvesting of organs from cadavers?
Say I wanted to buy a corpse from the family of deceased under unclear conditions and process the pieces for shipping, how many years would I spend getting drilled by bubba in prison?

>>6300
Cambodia
Sierra Leone.

I can't believe that this thread is still going. Can Goatmeal become a meme for /biz/?

In fact, if it becomes enough of a meme, you could actually start the business after the meme migrates to the facebook 9gag crowd.

>>6280
He has a good point

what do you know about coin counters, much less the implementation of them in an ATM? who will pick up the coins? What about security? Not just physical but also digital.

who would construct them, program them

Will venue owners let you put them all over the place or would they charge you? or would you charge them?

>>6663

>>6648

>>6663

Shiiiiiiiieeeett

>>739
i win

>>6110
Why the hell would people pay money to use the specific ATM's that YOU own when they can already use their own bank's ATM's for free?

>>739
>goatmeal

Sounds shit would not eat

>>5685

in australia they signed a deal with the largest telecom saying prepaid phone users got free access to facebook. Suddenly, every australian with a phone aged 12-18 is using facebook all through school to send free messages. Thats what killed myspace in my school.

>>5885
I like this
you could even keep the name, just change it to G.O.A.T. meal

I have an idea:
Scrotemeal

a place where people like OP can go and eat a dick