/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>6898240
who let the nigger and cunt in this office?

>>6898240
>I was uh ... day trading... c-currencies
>y-you ever hear of this thing called doge coin? h-heh heh

>>6898240
Sucking dicks

>>6898240
"crypto and masterbation sir"

>>6898240
>why the fuck do you care what the fuck i wasted 3 years of my life
>my resumee shows clearly that im overqualified for this job and we both know it
>now you ask me bullshit questions to use your HR fuckery on me?
>do you want some cunt that knows how the rabbit runs or some weak handed cunt that just says you what you want to hear?
>congratulations you have the job

>>6898427
crypto? Isn't that a ponzi scheme? I just heard recently on the news that Bitconnect stole billions of dollars of money of investors money. Do you believe this was a viable use of your time, anon? Why should we hire you based of this?

>>6898529
b-b-but bitconnect was j-just one of 1,400 cryp- crypto currencies! the rest of them are perfectly safe, you can trust me! here, I'll even sign you all up to buy a dozen of the various coins on my p-portfolio! y-you can make your monthly bonuses in as little as 3 days! better get in on this before it goes up to ten thousand dollars!

>>6898427
lol :)

>>6898511
Holy fuck that autism

>>6898529
actually bitch you're right, I'll see myself out now
>skrrts away in lambo I was sitting in the whole time

>>6898240
I unironically have an interview tomorrow, wish me luck brehs

>>6898474
>crypto? What's this? And mastErbation? With an e? You can't properly spell the name of the activity that has consumed so much of your life?

>>6898688
something like this is how i got my last job and am now in charge of 15 people
hey not myfault everyone is a numale reddit soyboy that just sucks the employers dick all the time

>>6898819
Why should we give you this job? Can you provide a summary of your previous experience?

>>6898913

>>6898860
Nobody actually cares that you're in charge of 15 people. You probably have fuckers there that would love to take your life, you're annoying.

>>6899007
>no black & white resume
come on son

>securities trader
is this you trading on your own time or trading for a company?

>>6899178

I was working in a classified project for the NSA.

>>6899007
>I keep myself up to date and constantly upgraded with knowledge

>>6899044
lmao youre fucking retarded
i get 35% more pay than those 15 people
but nobody cares right
/biz/ is so funny
also if you would know anything about work life you would know that the better you treat your people the better work they do its not good for you if youre a faggot boss

>>6898913
While I might not be as experienced as some of your other candidates, I've added a lot of value to my team at xxxxxxx by doing consistently high-quality work while still being sensitive to budget constraints. For example, a recent certification effort involved applying updated loads to previously certified structures, but in the course of the analysis, I found major problems with almost every critical detail in the previous analysis. I was able to mitigate each of these errors as well as perform the updates all within the original budget. If you'd like to see some of my work, your company should have access to some of the reports I've written; I encourage you to take a look and judge for yourself.

>I also have excellent taste in anime waifus

>>6899262
I'm retarded for believing that people hate bosses? Hmm alright.

Anyways, that last line of yours is definitely true though. It's definitely a love/hate relationship between bosses and employees. You probably know that, right?

>>6899311

>>6898529
How about you sell yourselves to me cocksuckers

I'm the goddamn shit. Why the fuck should I waste my time at this shitheap of a company?

>>6898240
>tfw 5 year gap

>>6899389
Arigatou senpai, I hope it goes well

Btw, I'm planning on wearing khakis and a dress shirt with no tie to the interview (engineering, mid-career), is that fine?
>tfw too fat for 90% of my nice clothes

I studied macroeconomy, organic chemistry and real analysis in Khan Academy also I finished the chinese course in Duoling and I am close to finished Django in codeacademy.

>>6899007
haha private home security is just you being a nocturnal NEET at home, isn't it?

>>6899311
jesus christ, the most ambiguous yet job sealing post ever created

>>6899007
Not reading, that looks like an eye sore. Please make it look aesthetic before handing it in

>>6899717
You'd be surprised how a couple of years of corporate wageslaving can turn you into a master bulshitter

>>6899007
10/10

>telling the truth on your resume
this is why you can't find a job