/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>59002842
Boring financial stuff. Talk about balance sheets and bullshit that are boring to girls

>>59002842
ez
>investment consultant

>>59002869
I don't get how it's this hard. It's easier to tell a half truth than a full lie. You invest and you consult with yourself. Therefore you're an investment consultant

Digital Asset Manager

>>59002842
that im a crypto gambler

test

>>59002886
yeh that or just simply i'm into stocks/ the stockmarket. I can buy linkies, bitcoin and a couple of others using my vanilla as fuck run of the mill bank share trading platform, just like stocks.

>>59002842
You're a Freelance Investor.

>>59002842
>personal finance
You don't have to mention that it's your own "finance" and in fact crypto

>>59002842
don't mention money around other people, the same way you wouldn't announce that you've won the lottery

>>59002842
>What do you tell her?
professional fucker-sucker

Nothing I tell her I'm unemployed

>>59002842
Portfolio manager for high volatility cryptographic assets

>>59002842
tell her you are a secret agent with a completely straight face, and see how she reacts

>>59003196
kek

>>59002842
>What do you tell her?
"You have to eat all the eggs"

>>59002869
>>59002886
If you say this she's going to expect you spend a lot on her

>>59002869
*asset manager

>>59002842
Solidity "dev" (can fork shitcoins)

>>59002842
>i'm pioneering how the world connects to blockchains

Imagine talking to girls

>>59002842
im in finance

>>59002842
"Some boring middle management position in an IT department. It's not very exciting. Tell me more about what you do?"

>>59003941
she just got the ick bro

>>59003941
>Some
You don't know what your job is? What kind of retarded answer is this

* Digital Asset Fund Manager
Managed a high value digital asset portfolio on behalf of third-party entities via personalized risk assessment strategies; achieving extreme consistent growth (AAR: 900%)
>(bought a few linkies for mum)

* Liquidity Provider
Provided high value liquidity to leading Automated Market Maker protocols
>(parked linkies on amm scam)

* APR Strategist:
Established various APR generating strategies via distributed service provisioning models; such as peer-to-peer lending and liquidity providing, and data aggregating, data curating and court arbitrating protocols.
>(memestaking and yield farming)

* Angel Investor/Venture Capitalist:
Assisted cutting-edge startups in securing early-stage funding via distributed protocols; consultancy on hyper-growth scaling and marketing
>(threw a few eths at scam ico's, shilled in telegram groups)

* Marketing Consultant/Lead Visual Designer
Contributed key artwork and led marketing strategy campaigns for leading fintech startups
>(made a few pepes, hired jeets to shill on biz)

* Fintech (Financial Technology) Expert & Research
Deep dive research and up-to-date expertise focused on academic whitepapers, industry reports, R&D in the fast-moving fintech sector
>(read the first pages of chainlink and wef whitepapers)

* Quantitative Algorithmic Trader & Technical Market Analyst
Developed specialized trading automation tools and applied advanced mathematical and geometrical study models to succeed in high-risk financial market environments
>(made a shitbot and drew some lines)

* Fiscal Optimizer
Optimized fiscal contributions via legal loopholes, geographic relocation and fund reallocation strategies
>(monero'd wallet and fucked off to Thailand)

>>59002842
>no one asked OP anything, ever

>>59002842
i tell her im a nascar driver or whatever makes her want to fuck

>>59002842
Tell her you’re in finance retard

>>59002842
>anon what do you do for a living?
>oh babe, nothing, just predict the future of a cat
>predict the future!? but how?
>no need to explain kitten
>okei yay

its just that simple

>>59004014
based

>>59002842
Soldier of Fortune

>>59002842
“Work is for people that don’t have a trust fund, babe”

>>59004040
I stood next to a crypto guy and heard him say that to a woman who turned out to work for JPMorgan. Things got very awkward fast when she wanted to talk finance

>>59002842
Just say "I do really boring financial shit." They won't care as long as you're fun.

>>59002842
Stop talking to girls. wtf is wrong with you?

>>59002842
I wouldn't know since I'm 27 and haven't had a non-school or work related conversation with a girl who wasn't family since I was in high school

I'm a digital asset manager.

>>59002842
When she asks what I do for work, I say I’m into crypto and roll with TRIBAL. It's not just gambling; I'm tapping into the blessing machine of GameFi potentials.

>>59002886
You consult with the Lord.
If you aren't using the word "we" in your head when thinking about yourself, you're ngmi.

>>59002842
It is not what you tell her, it's who/what you are. She has decided within 3 seconds of seeing you whether you are in or out. If you are in, you are in. If you are out, and she decides you are in after finding out your job, you are just a betabux. (don't worry, most men are betabux.)

>>59002842
>electric speculator

>>59002842
I have a whole response I use for this but I'm not going to post it here for obvious reasons.

>>59002842
something about the power of manifestation, yknow just figure out a way to make "i autismed my way into not needing a day job by strategically moving virtual currencies around" sound romantic and magical

or just buy her stuff, depends on the dynamic i guess

>>59002842
Whatever, call it what you want, but I'm having a blast playing and betting on games on TriballyGames. If you wanna call it gambling, fine by me. I'll take it in good faith.

>>59002842
Depends on the girl. Read the room.
If she likes danger, lean into it.
Literally tell her "I'm a gambler."
Be mysterious and aloof about where your money comes from. If you are attractive and successful, this should be no problem.

You are attractive and successful, right anon?