/biz/ - Business & Finance

Wall Street makes big money no matter which was S&P500 goes.

>>58830756
Public key encryption has been reverse engineered. Any system using RSA has to be updated.

>>58830756
my dad works in the s&p500 and told me it's over

The official start date of the 2025 Everything Recession was just decided, only some of us have access to that information though (not me)

They said, and I quote "Pee pee poo poo".
Do with this information what you will.

>>58830756
A lot of us got sent home early but I saw a few slides peeking into conference rooms and it looked bad. Don’t want to dox myself here but unironically you need to get out while markets are open today. Several major brokers are likely to go under by Wednesday or Thursday

i only trust guys working in finance who are 6'5", trustfund and blue eyed

>>58830812
??? that's not even funny that's just sad. Go be dutch somewhere else you lanky pondweed

>>58830812
and WASP too

>>58830756
just went for a coffee in a starbucks near blackrock's hq... overheard some conversations there.
dudes were literally crying the entire time, one of them went out into the street and had to puke on a nearby passing car, another guy dumped his xanax on a hobo's face.
we are fucked

>>58830802
holy fucking shit

I contract work for flipping bunkers, a bunch of helicopters have been in and out all day with groups of women and luggage

>>58830811
Assuming this is a legit larp. Anything else you can say?

>>58830851

god I wish this was true

>>58830851
>another guy dumped his xanax on a hobo's face
Gosh i wish that were me. I can't find xanax and don't want fent

>>58831183
Stop doing drugs you degen

Imagine the fight scene in They Live but it's Mumu and Bobo.

>>58830756
Elite insider here. We are currently procuring at a pittance, and soon, we will peddle at a premium.

>>58830948
He's larping you dumbass

>>58831495
someone post the wrestling webms

>>58830851
K I N O
I
N
O

>>58831501

Do they really look like this?

>>58830802
Dayum its fucking joever

>>58830756
real money will recover, crypto won't. enjoy reality

>>58830756
I capitulated last night and took profits i'm not holding through another crash.

>>58831653
Yes and they also say that

>>58830811

What were on the slides??

>>58830756
We're dumping a lot of stuff because we're pretty heavily leveraged in yen. My boss did not see the BOJ move coming, nobody did. They're either desperate or suicidal. Nobody's jumping out of windows here yet. Most of the guys I talk to don't really know what's going on though. We don't know what's being discussed upstairs.

>>58831748
>Jumping out of windows.
Just hold cash for a few years until the markets start going green again after the crash. By just holding the damn cash you already have, you'll probably own your own investment firm then. Make sure people see downturn as an opportunity. Suffering is only temporary.

>>58831759
I think thats what Buffett is doing

The yen carry trade is gone

BYE BYE

I work at a market maker.
We're making so much goddamn money right now. Hope that helps.

>>58831748
>My boss did not see the BOJ move coming, nobody did.
I'll bet $5 Powell was given a headsup from the BOJ. Hence, he held Fed reserve rate to protect the USD rather than bump the US markets. Once we add in widening de-dollarization around the World..yeah, phrases involving rocks and hard places come to mind, along with trillions of US dollars coming home.

>>58830802
>They said, and I quote "Pee pee poo poo".

dear god its over isnt it

what was there facial expression when they said this? T they were just joking, r right??

>>58830771
>Public key encryption has been reverse engineered.
kek

>>58831501
kek

>>58830771
i have a private key so i should be safe

there have already been investors jumping off buildings here, however they have been doing that since the 2008 recession to fool local retail investors into selling, so we don't know what it means anymore

We took turns slapping our dicks on black and white print outs of Kevin Spacey and left early today.

>>58830756
Basically shit is going to go down on Wednesday and Thursday, you heard it here first

>>58831183
why you doin xanax you wanna end up like jordan peterson rambling in haiku format on twitter?

>>58830756
>>58831748
>>58831884
Is the Yen taking a fat fucking shit or something? Did the entire market literally just disconnect from Japan?

>>58832293
Yes, Yen was diving, only way to prop it up was to raise interest rates in Japan. Japan is the single biggest holder of US treasuries. Japanese money now exits USD to flow back to Japan to cover positions. US Fed can't lower its reserve rate for fear of undermining the USD. Getting the drift?

>>58830811
My dad got sent home early too today from his job at nintendo.

>>58832332
>Japan kills clown world
Based samurai

>>58832365
I unironically thought today "is this all a hyper cunning plan to get revenge for two atomic bombs?"

And now I'm hearing there will be an emergency Fed meeting, rate cuts back on the menu, boys? "Flippity floppity" Jerome, not a good luck, fella.
>Dollar down as US rate cut bets rise, yen surges.

>>58831183
What's wrong with fent

>>58832332
So Japan got rid of us and not the other way around? Alright. What's the chance something will *actually* happen because of it?

>>58830756
We've been told to buy and sell in equal measure to not raise suspicion about the enacting of the Omega Protocol

>>58832542
If there's an emergency meeting, this shows weakness and indecision from the Fed. There might be an initial bump up in the market due to an emergency rate cut, but the underlying issues won't be resolved. Any stock market bump will be at the cost of a weakened USD and higher US inflation. If the market reads an emergency cut as a sign of weakness (let's be honest, it is, and it will eventually), I'd expect further stock market declines with the market demanding more rate cuts from the Fed. etc.

>>58830756
Thank god I didn't sell my gold.
Oh well... Maybe I will be forced to sell it soon because even that might crash...

>>58832535
Its a potent poison

>>58832501
>suppose to raise rates till things break
>things break for a year straight
>oh shit, guess we should back off

>>58830756
It's a small market correction due to people overreacting about the US economy and overvalued tech stocks. It's actually a good time to buy.

>>58830756
They all an heroed

>>58832770

>>58832293
The value of the yen went up a few percent and now over leveraged traders using yen to buy stocks are being liquidated. Traders now owe Japan money and no one can pay up. Japan banks are taking the shit and they are passing the buck on.

My buddy from the inside called me to inform you guys that, yes, indeed, poopoopeepee

>>58830756
Nothing. Kikes just printed more money Japan basically recovered its loss yesterday. Mazeltov goyim everything is back to normal see? Everything’s fine.

>>58831183
im looking for vyvanse and adderall

>>58831521

>>58830812
Some girl did the math and apparently there are statistically only two men in the US with all of those traits

>>58834191
What am I gandering at here?

>>58834395
John Cena doing what ever the FUCK he wants.

Who's going to stop him. You? Yeah fucking right.

>>58834404
>Who's going to stop him. You? Yeah fucking right.
Yes, but unironically.

>>58834349
Bullshit. Girls don't know how to do math.

>>58834191
The CHAIR!

>>58834191
This is an AI generated video of John Cena causing a scene at a fast food restaurant isnt it.

>>58834895
duh

>>58831699
the gamestop logo