/biz/ - Business & Finance

tape over camera and manually jiggle your mouse with your own hands when you have downtime

>>58633748
uh, actually do work you stupid nigger?

>>58633748
>productivity down
>revenue up
Soooooo

>>58633762
This

>>58633748
Knowing that most office drones have bullshit jobs where they actually work like one or two hours a day max and then do fuck all I think companies will start finding out about their *major* management problems and misplaced priorities.

Once they find out about bullshit jobs it's over though. Office girlies will be done for soon.

>>58633767
you've never had a proper office job and it shows

>>58634634
this
most office jobs are an active scam on the company you work for, if you are smart you can be done with your work in a few hours

im no cap looking forward to the future ray bradbury imagined where humanity is full of lazy ass ppl and machines do all the heavy lifting, imagine having all the creativity in the world but not the skills, thats already a big entry requirement that gatekeeps true creatives from expressing themselves, but thanks to ai and tech in general more and more of those needlessly stupid and time-consuming tasks are already automated, such as art (thank god) and soon even programming thanks to tau net and their whole "software as sentences", the future will be bright and everyone will be happily doing everything they always dreamt about, no longer wagies or people stuck in painfully boring jobs. Im happy to be alive in this era bros

>>58633767
actually no need to be racist

>>58634652
damn right
in the first place why do humans have to work? who built this system? i cant fathom anyone actually liking to work right?
>t. i don't want to work.

>>58633762
>Jankesha Rajahibibi Dahli is calling via Zoom...
>*gulp*
>pick up
>"Heeeeey there anon how's your day going- good? Good mine too that's good!"
>ah fuck
>"Soooo I've noticed that you got tape covering your webcam so I wanted a heart to heart with you about that- what's that all about? You know well we don't allow doing that in this company, teehee~ you probably forgot :)"

Then, she nags you about your mouse.
Then, you are fired within the week.
We can't win.

>>58634659
We need water, food, shelter and protection to survive. Once we are past surviving we also have other needs and wants. Since none of that just appears magically someone has to put in the work for it.

>>58634663
Exactly. Most people that complain about not wanting to work wouldn’t survive long in an age where you have to fend for yourself.

>>58634641
haha can you tell?

>>58634652
Based anarchist rhetoric spouter.
Good luck getting a clientele when everyone is an artist and a programmer.

>>58634666
Living today is so much easier. Laziness has taken over. And boredom is dangerous to humans. Our brains are not designed for boredom.

>>58634641
>you've never had a proper office job and it shows
you thought that sounded cool didn't you lol

>>58634672
And the suicide rates are as higher every year for the last 20 years, reaching the great depression levels. Lack of adventure, real interaction, able to live without knowing how crucially dependant you are on the whole of humanity, y'know--because it seems like you don't need anyone. It seems like everything is automatic, it's all done in the background, you don't get as many of those experiences where the kindness of others is life or death. Everything is so compartmentalized, it doesn't feel like other people are clothing you, feeding you, entertaining you, it's all so intricately worked and people are so specialized that you start to think that this whole system has nothing to do with you, losing that connection to mankind is just horrible for everyone. You don't even learn from people any more, you can just 'google it.' That whole learning exchange we had with each other, was way more interesting and fun then just... A 'why do cat make shit funny color' in google... I don't know, but lose your phone and find yourself in a far off city and watch how fast you remember the goodness of everyone and how important this life is. Being there for each other is a really key thing that is kind of cut in half.
>>58634652
I dont think thats a good future to aspire to

>>58634666
they are not working for living.. they are living for working.

>>58634671
Not really anarchist delusion, more like an accelerationist's wet dream. There will be so much meaningless, empty content online, that people will want to go outside more. Actually appreciate skillful forms of manual art labor such as painting and sculpting again. Interacting with one another. Solidifying in only a few applications and social medias, not paying attention to all the remaining, useless clutter.

And before that happens, you can make a big profit with AI advancements. It really is a win-win scenario.

>>58634659
work is another way of control whoever controls work controls everyone
>>58634671
and why do you think that people need to sell art in the first place? why cant we just make art to enjoy it? isnt it supposed to be an expression of the soul? if we de-comodify art it we could reach heights never seen before, with programming imagine being able to automate your house to your specific needs, imagine being able to vote and it being truly decentralized
>>58634680
suicide is caused by the system, not boredom, humans need to be bored, its a feature of our brains not a bug

>>58634689
apple really channeled black mirror episode into those apple visions didnt they

>>58634652
>>58634671
>>58634689
There are now eight billion people in this planet, and only 1/3rds of that will be able to turn any form of decent profit in their entire lifetime. AI is cancer. Also, bomb India and the Middle East. Nobody will miss them.

>>58633767
spbp

>>58634698
they rejected (him) because he told the truth

>>58634672
You can say it comfortably behind your computer while you choke on a mc donalds, because is easier, its not the point.

>>58634634
50% of all jobs are bullshit and they always have been

>>58634696
we can tell black mirror already told us
its kinda scary tho

>>58634680
This is 100% a choice though. You don't NEED the internet for anything other than sending e-mails, using your work tools, and opening whatever website(s) you use for work. That's all it could be, but people will do absolutely anything in their power to not interact with one another.

>>58634698
>bomb india
>bomb the middle east, lets start from scratch
>replace the entire land with nuclear energy plants, solar and wind turbines and re-plant the whole middle east with wildlife to battle the effects on the climate
>you solve both climate change and the energy crisis
>also get rid of problematic ethnicities and war altogether
ummm bros.... was this the solution all along?

>>58634680
>>58634689
there are two kinds of people in this earth.

>>58634652
>Mention TAU and the good side of AI
>Immediately starts a wildfire of faggots crying over and defending AI for no good reason
Incredibly based.

>>58634705
who loves his own work, no one, thats crap

>>58634660
Abolish HR.

>>58634698

Based. Nuke all browns.

>>58633762
I mastirbate on the clock with my camera uncovered (my PC is next to my work laptop).

>>58634634
Corporate America is particularly bad. I swear like at least 60% of people at companies are just inefficiently doing some menial task that could be automated.

>>58634714
This is literally what hitler planned to do thats why he was killed.

>>58634680
My first job as a kid I remember how awesome it was to get an actual paypacket from the boss with my wages at the end of the week and being thanked for the hard work I did, even removing a simple human interaction like that makes work way more depressing. Now I'm so disconnected from the results of my work and some digits get added to my bank once a month, before another chunk of digits just as effortless get removed before I even look at my balance. What a humdrum shitfest.

>>58633748
overpaid worthless wagies

>>58634692
>humans need to be bored, its a feature of our brains not a bug
you need to be idle regularly but being bored excessively will make you miserable. ideally you vary between working hard and doing absolutely nothing.

There are so many women and browns getting paid $80k to send a few emails and make a powerpoint. Love to see it.

>>58634793
really? why did he sit around with iranis then?

>>58634743
two more weeks trust the plan

You MotherFuckers just Fucked it up for everyone didn't you? All you had to do was your Fucking job in the comfort of your own home and you couldn't even be Fucking trusted to do that! Fucking Wagies MotherFuckers

>>58634680
>You don't even learn from people any more, you can just 'google it.'
this just isn't true, do you not do anything with other people? sure you'll look up information on google because it's obviously the best way but people have done basically the same thing through books and newspapers for a long time, it's just more efficient with the internet now. but most things that involve actually doing something out there in the world will involve learning from other people to a very significant degree

>>58634826
people applaud each other for good work all the time. sounds like your work place is just shit.

>>58634747
Same. Go ahead and watch.

>>58633748
I use one at work so I don’t get logged out due to inactivity. I turn it off at the end of the day.

Buy a mechanical jiggler. Those jiggler programs are entirely too easy to detect by your IT department.
Even if IT happens to remote into your work laptop and see little erratic mouse motions, they can't see the jiggler. If they ask, blame your cat or some really loud music or some shit.

>>58633748
skill issue. Me and my boss both fuck off from work the moment our last meeting is done. Our company is east coast and we're both on the west coast. Wake up at 8 am, log on by 8:30, usually done for the day by noon. No one cares because our shit gets done way ahead of schedule and it's summer.

>>58633767
No. No I don't think I will.

>>58635950
Personally I like having the company HQ on the west coast so I can drink plenty of coffee and having a nice long breakfast with family, a workout and sauna. Get the work done before 4 PM (go in at noon usually) and it's all leisure after that. Then bet 50% or more of my income on fake internet money.

Such is life for a flyover techbro.

>>58634660
AHHHHHHH I HATE THAT YOU ARE RIGHT MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP GO AWAY HR!!!!!

Imagine being in such a shitty pleb level job that they time your hours on your pc, meanwhile I got things done at my job early yesterday so I could take Friday off and didn’t even have to ask because no one cares as long as I get my shit done on time, it’s weird seeing your bosses treat you like you are all middle schoolers instead of adults

>>58634711
>>58634696
Get on VRChat and I show you a black mirror episode lol

>>58635535
Based wfh hacker

>>58633748
I just do the work they request me to do for the day(easy, low-effort metrics), and fuck off around doing it.

>>58637988
I honestly can’t slack off on the clock. The wagie gene has been encoded in me through generations

>>58633748
don't plug your mouse jiggler into your computer using a USB cable you stupid niggers. Plug it into an outlet. It shouldn't connect to your computer at all.

>>58634660
>>58634722
The only reason I'm still at my bullshit firm is because I'm pretty sure HR is just 1 single lady and she lives halfway across the country from my office. Basically I never have to deal with that shit

although the other day my boss tricked me into saying "beaner" (a client's email address was like "badassbnr" or something and my boss said "huh I wonder what that stands for" and my autism forced me to read it out loud) and now I'm pretty worried because a coworker on the call is Mexican

>fill mouse with catnip
Heh, nothing personal

>>58634634

This is the part I don't get. If an employee isn't getting all their assigned tasks done, this is going to show up before and during their performance reviews. If they are able to get their assigned work done in a few hours and then have the rest of the day to dick around, that's a failure of the business and management. Either give them more work or put them on part time, don't blame the employee.

It's the same discussion that comes up about WFH in general. Employees are either meeting their performance goals and metrics or not, if they are then why does it matter when and where they do the work.

how do companies even monitor such jiggler movements?
Dont you need to have it installed in their company equipment/laptop for them to detect it?

Am I the only one who thought it was a barely disguised way for the employee to say house niggers?

If you require a mouse to do your "job" then you don't actually know how to use a computer efficiently and your entire "career" is bullshit.

Remote work is based. My assignments are split over two teams. I tell each team I'm very busy with the other team. I do just enough and the essentials to make sure it remains believable. Rest of the time I take it easy.

>>58633748
>buying a hardware mouse jiggler
why? those things are the worst possible option
put something on a keyboard key
sit in an empty zoom meeting with yourself
make your own mouse moving macro
even getting a mouse jiggler that physically moves your mouse instead of buying a jiggler that just runs a known mouse-jiggling program is less retarded
>t. loops a training video i downloaded to keep my screen active

>>58634660
>download manycam
>set the virtual webcam to a looping video of self 'working'
Ezpz

>>58640065
Because tabbing around a browser is so efficient. You've obviously never had to do any work beyond unzipping a tarball.

>>58634652
>true creatives
are not gatekept. Being an "ideas guy" is not a true creative. Those who are true creatives will learn a skill and express themselves by CREATING.

I have nothing to fear because I am judged for the work I deliver rather than how much my mouse happens to move during a day.

>>58640787
For now

>>58633767
you are jewish

>>58635535

they can literally watch your screen as you do nothing for hours

It here, jiggles don’t do shit, if your boss thinks your slacking we can check your key logs and remotely record your screen at anytime

I love catching slackers too, when I’m bored I will occasionally check on my own because it makes me look better

>>58641372
Is remote work even worth it if you have to deal with shit like this? You're being monitored in your own fucking house

>>58641372
I always have a livestream of mecca playing on my work laptop so if they try to fire me I can sue them for religious discrimination.

>>58641548
K E K

>>58633748
Lol I actually work in the wealth management unit at Wells Fargo - FYI this is literally just because one menopausal high-ranking HR lady is having a fit about people finishing their tasks in a few hours then not asking for "other ways to help the team" if they finish ahead of schedule. She's a stupid cunt and extremely out of touch. She also doesn't want to provide full levels of seating for the entire on-site workforce because "if they're not here 5 days a week why should we pay for them to have their own seat?"

>>58641664
The policy of "you finished your work, so here's more work" is such a missed opportunity by companies. You could easily cause productivity to surge if you let people go home early, and the ones who volunteer for more work to try and prove themselves would really stand out. Instead, you basically encourage people to not innovate ways to get their work done faster, and to pretend to be busy.

>>58633748
I just tell the boss I'm out raping women and that I'll be back at three or so.
But I'm not a little bitch like most of this board so whatever.

>>58641755
Agree 100%. As it is, you're motivated to drag out 3 hours of work over 8 hours.

>>58641372
Yes, but that's a lot more manual work than automatically running a script to look for bad processes on every employee laptop.
Still, I agree having the mouse just move back and forth is pretty lame. I expected "jigglers" to literally just jiggle the mouse a few pixel in semi-random directions every few seconds, which would be easier to explain away.

>>58641400
No, remote work is awful. Now get the fuck back in your commute mobile and prop up those commercial real estate prices, fag.

>>58640562

>He doesn't use tridactyl

https://github.com/tridactyl/tridactyl

A Vim-like interface for Firefox, inspired by Vimperator/Pentadactyl.

>>58641664
So why dont the fired employees sue them as they met their tasks?

>>58642488
Because there's a special clause in the company handbook that insta-v&'s you for using a mouse jiggler, not even joking. It specifies mouse jigglers by name too.

>>58633748
Make employees watch 8 hour training videos on the importance of making the office managers look useful and keeping the price of commercial real estate up so Shekelberg can profit from his stocks

am i the only one who works on their actual work laptop like 1% of the year and the remaining work locally on their personal computer? I dont even use the vpn on the work pc lol when using it
t. qa engineer at a private but would be top 5 company if public

>>58633748
Firing slackers is one thing, firing those who don't have work to do besides appearing to be present is the fault of the company and management. At any rate, it only enforces the 80/20 rule where 80% of the work is done by 20% of the staff. Further "reward" your top performers with more tasks and responsibilities that were done by those slackers you fired.
All you need is to make an example out of the worst performer and others will straighten out. Then you actually reward good outcomes instead of that arbitrary shit
>Oops we gotta shut down the world cause of a scary coof!
>Oops you need proof of vax to work here, protect other people and all that :^)
>Oops looks like we over spent on office real estate!
>Oops the scary coof is magically over, time to come back!
>Oops people adapted to WFH, time to demonize it
>Oops we're having trouble hiring
>Oops you did everything we asked but you didn't want to stare at a screen for 8 hours straight
Corporate must realize the retarded moves over the last few years.

>>58633748
Why not write code to randomly move the mouse to click emails wait a certain period of time to click another. Throw in a couple random mouse movements. How the fuck would they know. Shit this is elementary shit.

>>58641372
>>58635535
This. Plus put a huge flat screen in the distance behind your work laptop, so they can watch you play AoE2 all day :)

>>58642878
Right, the difficulty here is that IT can easily look for odd running processes.
The overlap between people that need to use these kind of performative tricks to keep their jobs and people that can write code that can do this is hopefully zero. I hate the thought of my fellow code monkeys being so poorly treated.

The ultimate solution is of course a second (personal) computer with a camera pointed at the work laptop screen and a USB cable emulating a keyboard and mouse device, running a program that analyzes the screen and generates some appropriate inputs.
Heck, with a bit of effort (or some undue amount of faith in LLM capabilities), one might be able to automate entire jobs this way.

>>58634747
This was my tactic in the early covid days. I would *accidentally* expose my naked body to my work laptop camera quite often. Out of shower, getting changed, hot day etc. I figured if they are recording me without my permission they would be in much more trouble for a breach of privacy.

>>58643038
Reality is skilled workers are hired for their skill not their time. Provided when they are needed for x and x is accomplished then no one gives a fuck what they do in their down time. My only worry is when my boss needs me and I am out surfing I might miss the message, but a few hours later I'll get back, do the work then go back to jiggling that mouse.

The only way to write a mouse jiggler is to inject the code into a legit process like chrome or SharePoint, or side load the code with a vulnerable signed Microsoft executable (there's tons). I've been running mine I wrote for years with zero problems and no one's the wiser. The noobs get caught, the writers skate the system.

>>58641755
Companies are incredibly incompetent, the financial elite owe their place in the world to their control of the tally board (Money), an incorruptible tally board fixes this.

>>58635185
you're a jeet, dunkie

>>58635535
Why can't they make a mouse with a mode that sends random movement information to the PC? Or a USB device that reports as a mouse?

>>58643315
I think too many random movements would be red flags.

>>58639765
>Employees are either meeting their performance goals and metrics or not, if they are then why does it matter when and where they do the work.

There seems to be this view that the companies are paying you for X amount of time, rather than to do a particular job. Therefore if you finish early because you're efficient you're STEALING company time. Basically just a slave that gets a salary.

Also - I don't see bullshit jobs (i.e. jobs that don't do much) going away any time soon. Hell even executives don't do much.

>>58634652
>the future will be bright and everyone will be happily doing everything they always dreamt about

You probably believe in trickle down economics too lol. The ultra wealthy will be more wealthy, as AI means they can fire most wagies. Everyone else will starve.

>>58641664
>high-ranking HR lady is having a fit about people finishing their tasks in a few hours then not asking for "other ways to help the team" if they finish ahead of schedule

Okay then, I'll do my task as slowly as possible.

>Noooo why is productivity down?

Stupid cunts

>>58643173
Just make a mechanical mouse jiggler lmao.
Tape a video of yourself on loop to your webcam.

>>58639941
AI can be used to identify human movements vs non human ones

>>58644222
Technology is a force multiplier, slavemind. Technology can only increase the value of labor as the output of labor increases with technology and therefore the demand for labor INCREASES not decreases with advancing tech

>>58640555
this guy remembers the omegle era

>>58641400

if you are good no one gives a fuck. only deadweight browns, basedboys and roasters are getting hit with this

>>58633748
I personally am a code monkey and they don't really monitor us. Yet, many days I have to work my ass off for over 9 hours.
As for you, work slower while doing other stuff. Eat while working and be completely free during your "lunch break". Do chores every other minute. Watch TV or play video games on another device. Listen to an audiobook.

>>58640555
Can't download unauthorized 3rd party software on your pc sweetie