/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>58292391
I don't want to hear anymore trailer park jokes. The new joke is buying one of those slim shitboxes. Imagine a tornado tearing down one of those rows.

I thought the whole point of suburban living was to have a big house with a yard. Are Americans really buying these copy paste cuck sheds?

>>58292391
It sounds terrible, so I can only hope you're withholding all the good parts of the deal on purpose, for effect.

>>58292391
This is what homebaggies brag about "buying" with a 8% APR.

>>58292391
>I'll get back in on the next dip

looks like how I zone my SC4 res

>>58292529
are you being sarcastic for effect? I'll explain the deal in another way for you to understand. I'll use simple words that are easy to grasp and understand. ready big guy? here we go:

Friend asks me if I want to buy a house. Her mom is a realtor. Her mom sells me the house. Friend lives in the house taking care of it while I get the equity. perfect if you ask me.

>>58292616
>her
anon, I...

>>58292616
only if the guy doesnt move out
how long is he going to live there?
might be gone in a year

>>58292616
No sarcasm, it actually sounds like a shit deal, and I really hoped you were withholding the part that'd make it not a complete joke.
If that was your best effort to spin your deal positively, then it is in fact a complete joke.
You're apparently letting someone else live in a new house you just bought rent free, while you pay your own rent somewhere else, and the mortgage on "your" new house, and property taxes, and whatever else.
And you're somehow okay with this because you're "building equity."
No. There's no way. This has got to be fake. Nobody is that stupid.

>>58292391
Never actually listen to RE agents, kek,

New construction is built in the cheapest and quickest possible way to dump more shit on people, you'd be better off buying an old brick house or two flat and fixing it up.

Why even ask for advice if you've already signed the paperwork?

>>58292664
She said she plans on traveling abroad a lot, so she probably won't even use the house that much, idk

>>58292728
I dont see the issue, if thats the case, unless the house is extremely expensive or something like that

>>58292673
>You're apparently letting someone else live in a new house you just bought rent free, while you pay your own rent somewhere else, and the mortgage on "your" new house, and property taxes, and whatever else.
>And you're somehow okay with this because you're "building equity."
>No. There's no way. This has got to be fake. Nobody is that stupid.


And yet you hold Link, explain the difference?

>>58292391
AND YOU MAY FIND YOURSELF LIVING IN A SHOTGUN SHACK

>>58292748
Link marines do deserve to be gently mocked, but no bro, you don't get to pretend you didn't get suckered into a terrible deal by deflecting.
Why did you waste all your money to provide someone else a roof over their head for free?
She must be incredibly hot.

>>58292391
You are planning to sell it right? if not it's useless.
Also start fucking your friend.

>>58292788
How is it any different than owning stock or crypto per say? I reap the profits while wagies do all the work. Eventually I'll build enough equity to move out on my own.
What's your plan? Please share

>>58292443
I’ve never even seen anything like this. In must be in some shithole in the south or Midwest like Bama or Kansas

>>58292758
The days go by.. (OP already ended it all) Once in a lifetime

>>58292824
What profit? rent?

>>58292824
Man.. this is so far part funny. Google "landlord" maybe? Or just read literally anything about investing in real estate? idk.
You REALLY should have gotten some advice about this from someone competent other than the mom of the hot girl.
This is so dumb that you may want to get a family member to consult with a lawyer to work on declaring you mentally incompetent, which may be the best way left to get you out of this mess.

>>58292906
Equity!!!
like when you sell crypto, buy low sell later when high
WHY NOONE UNDERSTANDS IS BEYOND ME
I bought a house just like if you bought x amount of Visa stock. I don't run the company VISA I don't care I just want my asset managed well while it increases in value, then I sell. It's not complicated. ffs

>>58292835
Its in Texas

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riu_aV5tzqc

>>58292927
drama much? ya sound like an old lady bro lmao....

Here's a very simple breakdown for you:
>me buy asset (house, stock, crypto, cd)
>me no time to manage (house, company, telegram group, jew scams)
>friend offers to manage asset at no cost to me
>asset go up
>me sell me get profits

You:
>whine, cry, whimper, tantrum, SOMEBODY CHANGE ME WAAA!!

>>58293004
You're really going to stick to this story?
This would have been a great time to come out and reveal that you were only pretending to be retarded.
But okay, good luck man. Don't worry about a thing.

>>58293023
I give up, I tried to explain it to you, maybe someone else can.

>>58292939
You're the wet dream of realtors, kek. Imagine letting someone else live for free under YOUR house! kekekekeekek!!!! Next move of your "tenant" will be : "man, I need you to pay me up for taking care of your house" and you will pay like a cuck. What even guarantees you the property will rise in value? Nobody except retarded boomers buy an overinflated house for 500k thinking "I'll sell it at 600k now it's been over a week so it must have gained value" Those properties may be infected with negros and refugees and the property value will plunge and you'll end up selling it by half the price. And your hot friend's mom knows that. Nobody will do you a favour, sweaty. It's all about making money out of retards. Sell your house ASAP as possible. This is financial advice

>>58293089
>>58293089
I refuse to believe this isn't dedicated baiting. But on the off chance this isn't a meme, what maintenance of this house do you think is worth someone living there rent free + you paying rent elsewhere? You think this chick is spending thousands a month "maintaining" your asset? Bc that's the opportunity cost you're losing out on in not collecting rent AND paying rent for yourself elsewhere. I already know you can't accept this fact from people online, but ask the opinion of friends/family you trust/respect who you know will be honest with you.

>>58292391
I like how they are only given one side window and its only on one side. It gives it a very utilitarian vibe.

>>58292616
>buy house
>don't live in it
>someone else is "taking care" of it
Do you happen to enjoy cuckold porn?

>>58292728
Okay, it's EVEN worse. As a (unpaid) landlord the last thing you want is a vacant home. You want people to be around to catch a leaking pipe before it turns into a fucking disaster.

Also,
>listening to real estate agents
WHY? These people deserve the fucking rope, they are seriously worse than bankers and politicians

>>58292616
OP you can't rent or lease out a home you bought with your FHA loan.

>>58292391
one word : tornado

>>58292391
Truly the ((new)) American dream.

>>58293184
>>58293195
hey you should buy nvda stock
>nah dog if I can't be CEO I'm not investing in it
Hey you should buy some BTC
>ayo hol up, if i'm not Satoshi I an't buyin fr

You guys sound like a bunch of trapped mid-wits in a crab bucket. I have a WOMAN who is taking care of my Investment for free. Meanwhile you guys have girlfriends and wives who will take half your shit! Fucking mid-wits, ffs guys do better

>>58293219
>buy stock
>don't run company
Someone actually is unironically taking care of it

>+5tUF2Ox projects his fetish into the discussion
cringe

>>58293381
Fine, let's try one more time.

You just bought you first house. Congratulations, this is an important moment in your young financial life.
But why aren't you moving into your house?
Your equity would grow just as much if you enjoyed the home you're paying for, wouldn't it?
Are your living arrangements already better than living in your own home?
You wouldn't have to pay rent elsewhere if you lived in your own home.
And if you want, you can still have your smoking hot female friend be a roommate with you. Just figure how how to split the bills and some reasonable rent amount (with a discount of course since she's hot.)
That way you won't have to worry about a pipe bursting while she's away on one of her sexy travels and going unfixed for weeks, causing massive water and mod damages that'll destroy your equity.

> I have a WOMAN who is taking care of my Investment for free.
No, you're letting a woman live in your home rent-free, whenever she feels like it.
And why is it important to you that it would be a WOMAN anyway? Couldn't it be anybody else? Perhaps someone who's not going to leave your house empty for long stretches? Perhaps someone that'd be willing to pay you for the privilege?
There must be something amazing that you're getting out of all this that you haven't shared with the class.

>>58293529
I'm living at home saving money, kinda how I was able to save so much. I don't move in because all my needs are currently taken care of. I don't have to pay my mom to live at home, lol imagine having to. My friend said if I moved in with her we risk ruining our long term friendship which is all too common when money and business are involved. Worried about a pipe bursting, lol really? It's a Brand New house with a warranty, I'm chill. The reason it's my friend and not some rando from who knows is she is on the title. Her mom said it helps on taxes, helps to avoid state tenant tax or something.

>>58292391
PIGEON HOUSES KEK

>>58293234
didn't need FHA, it's complicated anyway because the house is in a different state across the country anyway. I may never even see the house in person. Only pics my friend will send me. we'll prolly sell in 3-4 years when rates start dropping, she'll get her cut and I'll get mine, boom done.

>>58294435
why not take a little rent, though
you still have to pay the mortgage

>>58294435
>she'll get her cut
Why are you giving her a cut? She's living in your house rent free. That's more than enough. You're getting fleeced BAD.

>>58292391
>RE agent and said new construction
Unless you are hewing the beams yourself you're getting scammed>>58292616
>are you being sarcastic for effect? I'll explain the deal in another way for you to understand. I'll use simple words that are easy to grasp and understand. ready big guy? here we go:
>Friend asks me if I want to buy a house. Her mom is a realtor. Her mom sells me the house. Friend lives in the house taking care of it while I get the equity. perfect if you ask me.
Holy shit it's over for OP

>>58294256
OP DO YOU KNOW WHAT ADVERSE POSSESSION IS?

>>58292391
These copy paste houses look like crap.

Can I at least paint the entire house red just to be able to differentiate, or would that be against HOA rules?

>>58292391
Seriously what the fuck is this. Some kind of a goy block or something?

>>58294954
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riu_aV5tzqc

>>58294954
see: >>58292960

>>58294684
Bro the costs to have a live in home care taker is like half the mortgage, so yeah no. rather have my friend do it for free, she says she doesn't mind.

>>58294684
idk it was her idea, her mom did all the paperwork, research to find me a good property, set me up with her mortgage guy. It's crazy I have two woman who basically did all this for free, seems like stealing honestly. It's like buying a Long you know will go up in value. Is it that hard to get bros?

>>58295100
>It's crazy I have two woman who basically did all this for free, seems like stealing honestly.
You're going to get squatted and adverse possessed. You bought a fucking timeshare retard.

>>58294957
Thanks anon now I'm even more depressed. BTW those fags in the video look like typical Joe Rogan fans.

>>58295144
>squatted and adverse possessed
Bro her family is Orthodox, I highly doubt it. Anyway do you have the same fears about owning stock or crypto? What is tghe obsession with having to live or use an asset? I don't care . I buy, number go up, I sell.... I'ts the same as STOCKS or CRYPTO for the last time.

>>58292599
Oh such a good game. And driving around too. Heaven. God the music.

>>58294957
Also it's in Texas. I can't even imagine how hot those things are in the summer. Their other video from California with mobile homes( tiny homes) on rented land is even worse lol.

>>58295274
The ones they visit here are surpisngly spacy from the inside
and they are appaently selling quite well
though, it must be a little bit odd living in something that looks like a wooden shed

if you ever need it, truflation posts daily cpi indexes and shit to know how fucked is the area you live around parallel to your earns and savings, so you know when its a good time to gtfo

>>58292391
>friend's mom is a RE agent and said new construction is the way to go
sounds like the beginning of a very niche copy pasta to me

>>58295293
The ones in Texas. If you own that piece of land they should probably allow you to build some addition to the house maybe could use it for another bathroom or just for some extra space.

>>58295351
there is no space, anon

>>58292391
lol

one of biz's greatest joke threads. major lmao

>>58295476
Some bigger ones have a small back yard. Can probably score another extra 150 square feet.

>>58292391
>>58292616
>>58292728
you are such a giant retard you deserve to lose everything

>>58292391
This is unironically one of the most depressing things I've ever seen

>>58294657
>why not take a little rent, though
I don't want to risk having jeets or nigs in it.

>>58294706
>OP DO YOU KNOW WHAT ADVERSE POSSESSION IS?
Her mom and her family are religious, I don't think they would do that.

>>58295325
>sounds like the beginning of a very niche copy pasta to me
cringe

>>58295550
>>58295694
I was told people would laugh at me from the sidelines as I make money, many such cases

>>58295792
>you are such a giant retard you deserve to lose everything
How so, at what point of buying a home and then selling it in a few years is "such a giant retard" ?

ffs /biz/ really is stupid, anyway have a rare Vitalik

anyone falling for this bait is room temp IQ
bravo OP for confirming this board is full of retards, but you slipped up with saying she's jewish. too obvious.

I would have gone for the mail-order bride route for it to be a little more believable

>>58296358
>but you slipped up with saying she's jewish. too obvious
ctr-f says otherwise, ffs you fucking dumb bro

>>58292391
i have no idea how but that somehow looks dystopian idk, there's just a weird vibe to it

>all cashes except memetokens
fucking based, good job nigga, right now memecoins like jizzlord are the norm
idk how some retards don't understand that at this point

>>58292391
>I'll get back in on the next dip before the post halvening bullrun
kek

>>58296436
not so funny now?

>>58292835
The Midwest has an abundance of houses from people fleeing dying rust belt cities. Cucked houses like this are always southwest or south somewhere.

>I'll get back in on the next dip before the post halvening bullrun ~2025
He doesn't know

>>58292391
Reminds me of this creepy ass movie
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywzmicMitN0

>>58296508
It has dipped before every half
>bbbu but it's different this time
lmao, lol imagine

>>58292391
if u bring a girl home and she sees your neighbors she will think you work in a slave camp or something lol

but then again in 2024 nobody brings girls home and they just order escorts on tinder and they will fuck you in that fap box you could live in lmfao

>>58292616
>Buy a house
>Give the realtor's daughter free rent
Did I read this correctly

>>58292391
Selling unironic cuck sheds?

>>58292391
Real Estate isn't going up anymore since the Fed rug pulled the cheap credit. Prices have not crashed because inventory is being suppressed as homeowners have affordable fixed monthly payments.

Zoomers can't afford shit and the Millennials who bought are stuck in their properties because of their cheap interest rates. There's no next generation to pump existing real estate, and desirable neighborhoods become fewer each year as this country gets less white each year.

Rates need to fall for appreciation to come back, but that's not happening as the Fed keeps postponing their planned rate cuts each meeting. Expect sideways market until something changes.

>>58296839
For those in the back who don't get it still after all these hours:

>Bought house for X amount
>who cares
>who cares
>couple years pass
>Sell house keep profit after expenses

Who cares who lives in it, Will have more money in a few years regardless. Focus on the outcome anon, don't get caught in the weeds. Maybe dial back the engagement and and prep a mental realign. You'll have a fresh canvas to set a new course on. then circle back when you are ready for a reintroduction.

>>58292443
>Are Americans
its the same thing in eu now, they buy land and build same cuck sheds, it exploded in since covid, really makes you think

>>58296413
>fucking based, good job nigga, right now memecoins like jizzlord are the norm
>idk how some retards don't understand that at this point
What other meme coins are you bagging right now?

>>58292391
That houses looks good anon, GL

Sell your memes for a house? thats stupid, Ill never sell my MUMU if I can rent

>>58297647
Same, sell cryptos to get a house is rtarded

>>58297649
Mumu sck anon

>>58297647
The real bull run

>>58292391
>friend's mom
Did you fuck her? If not, how long will you wait until you fuck her?

Bait thread, but bizzit is falling for it anyways