/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>58269977
I need multiple 18yo girls to rub their well pedicured feet on my face and balls

>>58269977
Hey Dave, long time listener, first time caller.
I haven't had sex in 2426 days, how do I deal with this financially?

I was raped in 1997, Dave

>>58269977
>Dave I just debtmaxxed $70,000 of credit card debt into a meme coin and it immediately tanked 70%. How can I convinced the bank to give me another $70,000 to buy the dip?

Hey Dave, I followed your advice and rang up my T-bone steaks as parsley at the self-checkout machine. I was immediately arrested. Should I use my 3 month emergency fund for bail?

>>58270027
Wow, 2,426 days, Anon? That's a lot of time. I hope you were investing during that time instead of spending money on dates. If you had invested just $5 a day, you would have $12,130 total invested, which if taken over a 6 year duration would amount to just under a million dollars with compounding interest. Just think of how much richer you are than if you had spent that money on a $5 date every night. I recommend staying in and eating rice and beans. Now that's a date!

>>58269977
Shit my bad I thought I called Art Bell, why haven't you kicked the bucket yet dave?
>OK, um, um, OK, what we're thinking of as aliens, Art, they're extra-dimensional beings, that, an earlier precursor of the space program they made contact with. They are not what they claim to be. They've infiltrated a lot of aspects of, of, of the military establishment, particularly the Area 51.

>>58269977
How much longer do I have to keep drinking my pee, Dave? My kidneys hurt.

>>58270106
Anon, everyone knows that you shouldn't take on debt to buy things you can't afford. That's just STUPID. I mean really, really stupid. At least you are willing to admit the problem, so I'll take it easy on you this time. I don't think the bank will lend you more money until you pay back the original debt. You're gonna need to get a job and work 6... No, 7 days a week plus overtime until you are able to pay this off. You can follow Dave Ramsey's debt management guide on our website for free and we'll also throw in a financial management course with it. Jeez folks... $70,000 gone to waste on crypto. And not even good crypto, a meme coin! I mean, what in the world are people thinking these days?

>>58270233
>Thank you Dave! If I take your course will it teach me how to wave a gun at employees?

>>58270261
Unfathomably based

>>58270261
Anon, all I can tell you is that what happens in the office stays in the office. Don't believe a word about what the lying media says, because none of it is true. I will say however that they do call me Dave Raygun around here for a reason. I'm not gonna say what specifically that reason is, but I think you get the idea.

>>58270335
kek