/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>57595854
>English major
HAHAHAHA

>>57595854
It's over

>>57595854
>I really want an office job but it's really hard to get one.
>Any certifications I can get?
What kind of office job? Do you mean literally any?

>>57595972
I mean LITERALLY anything that pays over 50k annually. I'm that desperate.

>What's your skill anon?
>I'm fluent in the english language like every human on earth

>>57595976
are you desperate enough to wear a tight secretary skirt and pick up trash off the floor?

>Any certifications I can get?
A STEM degree, there's no point in going to college if you're not taking a STEM degree retard

>>57595854
shit larp, humanities enrollments have sharply declined over the last 5 years

>>57595854
>>57595989
oh nononono

Nigga you majored in inner city ghetto english teacher
Thats all you can do now

It pays like 25k/year Max and with 77% chance of getting stabbed

>>57595854
>be hiring manager
>what skills do you have anons?

>im a math major
>im an engineer
>im a lab researcher
…
>i speak english
It’s over

>>57595854
Honestly dude probably just a teaching cert. They're desperate for teachers in small town schools. Go small town for affordable housing, absence of niggers, qt3.14 single mom you meet at parent teacher conf. Good benefits, summers off.

It's over for you buddy, you got filtered.

>>57595854
Go back to school for 2 years and study accounting. It's boring as shit and you might want to an hero, but you'll make good money and you'll enjoy reading Canterbury Tales or whatever on the weekends. I hate my life too and I hate reading. You'll be better off than me.

>tfw English major making 100k a year
Turns out knowing about English Romantic poetry doesn't translate into a job. I know it isn't a ton but I'll take it. Best advice is to be extremely lucky and get hired for something you're unqualified for and stick around long enough to get the experience and connections to stay in the field. I barely got the degree in the first place I was blacked out for most of college anyway. Other than that sales anon. Just get good at selling shit.

>>57596013
Bro even stem degrees are shit now. Since graduating 3 months ago with a computer science degree, I have been unable to get a job.

How fucked am I trying to get a Poli. Sci degree? I like public sector work and government

>>57597606
It's completely over

>>57597629
Isn’t there good job security in public sector jobs though?

>>57595854
I dropped out as a senior then came back 12 years later as a freshman then dropped out as a senior yet again. Best of luck bud, wish I had done a joke degree too. Plenty of earning opportunities for you just having a b.a.

>>57595854
Teach Engrish in Japan.

>>57597642
Unless you go the diversity hire route you need an actual skill to work in the public sector. Learning how the government works isn’t actually a skill unless you want to become an elected official, which no one on this incel board will become

>>57595854
I majored in English hoping to go into technical writing in the tech field. Did a part time tech writing job. Picked up html and css and bootstrap and did front end work for several years and picked up backend. Now I do something else programming related. Every where I go they learn I can write paragraphs nicely and they give me all the written work which I enjoy.

I wish I stuck with technical writing. I enjoy it more but probably wouldn’t make as much. Technical writing is one of the more lucrative fields you can get into with an English degree. I had a knack for programming since middle school but didn’t study comp sci in college so I may not be the best sample. API documentation is in style now but any kind of tech writing in a tech company is fun. Get AWS cert since it’s easier and cheap. Contribute documentation for projects on github that need it.

>>57595854
You could just make it now, and be done with?

>>57595871
I was an English major too. I can write an awesome email lol.

OP: no one cares about your degree. 4years at anything is fine. Make some friends, take a job, and buy decent crypto.

>>57595854
If you're smart you'll understand your credential doesn't say anything about you (college is a gatekeeping scam) and you'll actually have or develop actual useful skills. The only reason to get an English or other bullshit degree in college is: you're already smart and capable and you want to have a good time (become more well-rounded and a better thinker during four years of adult babysitting) or you have connections that can put you in a good place while you acquire said bullshit degree. If you're useless (a woman) you can always network (suck some cocks) and get a good job (probably as someone else's scapegoat in the upcoming cataclysm).
Good luck, faggot.

Railroads are hiring and they pay over 100k starting with no experience or certifications but since you are an English major in guessing you are too much of a limp wristed pussy for actual work. Better get some knee pads. Your clients may pay extra if you try to recite Shakespeare while choking on their cocks.

>>57595854
>>57595989
He might as well have been a walking major or a breathing major.

Copywriter, technical writer, grant writer.

>>57598130
All completely dead due to GPT

>>57598125
SHITTING MAJORS UNITE. PHD OF POOPIN

>>57595854
Be a bank teller wagie for one year. Then start applying at office jobs. Those types of jobs value one year banking experience over college grads. Entry level ones anyway.

>>57595976
legal assistant, but you'll regret that choice pretty quickly
sell cars for a cozy luxury dealership. ask around to make sure you have the fewest asian customers possible

Serioues question: what were you thinking??

>>57598134
Then why are they still hiring you retarded homosexual?

>>57598203
I have the opportunity to sell cars but our customer base is a lot of pajeets and I'm a complete noob, should I do it or will it suck ass?

>>57598253
>our customer base is a lot of pajeets
yeah fuck that, pajeets are the worst car shoppers ever

>>57598086
Tell me which of these railroad jobs pay over 100k a year entry level? Nothing pays 100k with no experience or education

>>57598253
>>57598414
Don't do that. Everyone has the "opportunity" to sell cars. That's not a real job by any metric. You can make money at it, but you'll probably hate yourself after a while. If you try to sell cars to dotheads, you'll hate the entire world very quickly. Streetshitters aren't "people". You can't project white values or social mores onto them as a species, and if you do manage to close a few, it won't be worth your time. You want middle aged white people. Think: GM, Ford, and Hyundai.

Just get to know your future coworkers at the lot you're thinking of working at. Are they, happy, married, prone to drinking, financially stable? That will tell you all you need to know.

>>57598473
It theoretically does because you're on call. Forever lol. If you refuse to come into work too many times on a row, you're fired and the union won't help you. It's a shit job now, with a lot of liability, and shit rolls downhill.

It's great if you don't have any life obligations and need some decent paychecks for a bit. If you wanted to build a stack before the bullrun the next few months, you could do worse for jobs.

>>57595854
why would you pay $100,000 to get a useless degree that no employer cares about? why didnt you put that money into investments ?

>>57598690
No one with an English major paid for their entire degree. It's a scholarship meme. If some idiot actually signed up for an "English" curriculum, they deserve what they get.

>>57598521
That's fair, they all drink heavily and are either very overweight or lobster red in the face. I'm up in the accounting department but I want to move on but I have no degrees or anything so idk where to go next

>>57597642

You will need a master's degree to get a good job. I can say that with certainty as I have an MPP that will forever go unused

Would not recommend, but you could do grant writing and similar shit without the extra degree

>>57596199

Accurate, sales is the easiest route if you know what you are doing. I make between 90-120k doing sales, although I anticipate a pullback to a lower number if the economy falls apart

I also have a variety of skills to fall back on so YMMV OP

>>57598253
>customer base is a lot of pajeets
Forget about it.
Pajeets just waste your time trying to get a massive deal.

>>57595854
>I really want an office job
why would you really want an office job?

Guys is there any good Federal jobs or something where you just need a degree to get in? USAjobs is too confusing. I'd be a Forester or something

You have an english degree and can't even read the jobs section in the newspaper

>>57600933
i have a massive cock btw

You probably want to aim for somewhere you can learn the job as you work, since your only skill is you know, fluent as basic speak. Most straght forward route to take for Englishfags is education of course, If will assume you already reside in an English speaking nation, then look for those you can offer help to let them know your language, probably immigrants or foreign workers. Alternatively, try become a translator or interpreter, work with people oversea if possible. All I can say is you took the longer route with this one, do your research on how to get what you want, and what else you might need for your career, for example international English test: IELTS, TOEIC, TOEFL and the like, don't give up anon.
>t. 28 yo English major who punched his student back at his international school.

>>57595854
Write content, learn SEO, develop websites with affiliate products. You want to school to learn writing? So fucking write.

Gen z ass pussC

>>57601394
Better yet, get an SEO job at a fucking company for your 50k. Learn the ins and outs. Quit and do your own thing.

LIL BITCH

>>57595854
if it makes you feel better anon, i graduated finally from university at age 27 with a bachelor's in philosophy. i worked retail for basically five years, making less than 40k a year. but i became extremely passionate about a very close subject matter to this board and ended up landing a job in the industry, making a salary i never thought i'd make in my lifetime.

in the end, you just need to find something you love and go balls to the wall with it, keep the resume updated and don't stop trying. things will work out.