/biz/ - Business & Finance

...sell him?

invite him over for family gatherings. make up gatherings to see him more. when he's there, make a point of staring at him a little too long and blushing

>>57512807
Gay advice. He vill donate to jews

marry him

>>57512778
Which uncle exchange do you use?

>>57512772
level 1: get in his will
level 2: start a biz with him
level 3: become his child
level 4: marry & divorce him

>>57512772
Find out if he's a furry and drop not so subtle hints about animating a whole series of Pepe le Pew and Fifi la Fume raping various cartoon characters of the week like Tweety bird(do not ask how that'd work).
If he's a jew, he'll agree. All jews are degenerate fucks who love corruption and immaturity and HAREMS.

We'll call it the rapeverse! but it's the chase that's appealing, not those shitty loops with a #fakemoansforidiots9282 , any shmuck can do that... unless you plan on doing 1200 frames per 1 second of animation.

>>57512772
better start leechin'

>>57512772
Ask him some tips on how to make good soup. Go make soup, donate it to homeless people and hope some passerby will give you money for your hard work helping those in need

>>57512851
marrying and divorcing him will give you ownership of half of his money so you can just sell to some stupid fslur who wants to
>buy the dip
(whatever the f%ck that means)

>>57512772
If I was your uncle and had $250M under my name, you better show me some good reason to INVEST MY CAPITAL in you.

If we didn't have any previous relationship, I won't even pick up your calls.

Your only chance is selling off your ass if he's into it

>>57512772
Ask for a job in whatever it is he made all that money from

>>57512807
>>57512851
>>57512883
>>57512927
Only good answers

I think the play here is to get in on the ground floor of the multinational he was a part of before he retired. I don't want to go into too much context, but let's just say it is one of the largest corporations in the small country my family is from (I'm american). I recently got my dual citizenship to aforementioned country, so being a dual US/American citizen might be a huge asset for a sales, management, or consulting role. I have a CS degree from a state school but I've been in a tech sales role for the past two years since I graduated. Kind of a testimate to my work ethic that I'm still employed given the climate right now lol.

Also for context I know him quite well, our family (and extended family, both in the US and abroad) are incredibly close, many others in the family got their start (or their whole career) at said firm, so there's some precedent there too. I just didn't realize how influential he was in said corporation, or country for that matter.

I think that's the route I'm going to go; use aforementioned strategy as a jumping-off point, and then get closer with him that way when I'm ready to go out on my own.

>>57513047
>so being a dual US/American citizen
*dual US/[that other country] citizen
I can't type today

>>57513047
The country is isreal isn't it?

>>57513084
No it's not. It's in Europe

>>57513106
France 100%

>>57512772
The last thing anyone with money will do is give any amount of it to a dumb retarded incel.

Think of something else to do.

>>57513142
WAY smaller than frnace

Instead of trying to leech ask him for advice on how to start your own thing. That’s the best move.

>>57513198
Monaco or Luxembourg

>>57514250
I'll just tell you. It's Ireland. You can DYOR on the specific company but there really aren't many to choose from.

>>57513379
I should have specified - I do not want to "leech." If anything, mentorship would be invaluable. Just need to position myself in a way where that seems advantageous to him

>>57512772
ask him for a job

>>57513198
switzerland obviously

First things first, poison the old bastard. Second, look in here, beoble and twitter to find epic shitcoin calls that are totally legit. Finally, lose it all and get arrested 3 years down the line for murder and conspiracy charges. THEN you go to jail, and finally, you make money in jail by sucking inmate smegma ridden dicks.

No need to thank me for this invaluable plan.