/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>56547676
>ayo cuh drop your block of piss nigga , frozen iced piss hol up what's yo NNS, what's yo chainlank address, what's yo efferiumz addy bitch

>>56547676
>he didn't fill the 9 year gap with made up jobs at fictitious companies
ngmi

>>56547676

I was a pornstar.

>>56547676
I was in a coma

>>56547953
I just say I worked at mturk, which is the truth

>>56547676
Sorry but could you repeat your question? I got distracted by your clevage

i-i didn't know i had to work

>>56547676
I posted images of cats on the internet

>>56547676
I won't.

>>56547953

Honestly, as an HR recruitement agent I can tell you that this is a very very bad idea.

We are trained to sniff out lies during your application or job interview.

I have had people before where I thought they lied about having a certain job and by their attitude I just assumed they were unemployed during that time. Of course I don't ask it right away, first I pretend to be their friend, I make them feel all comfortable, tell them we can both address eachother by our first names and then once an applicant has their guard down I ask them: "Oh and one more thing, tell me exactly what you did" while giving them a very serious 'death stare'. Most job applicants break at this point. They start to stutter, get a red face or they say: "uhhmmm uhmmm" alot and I just know something is wrong.

Look i get it, it's okay to have a had a gap. Everyone can go a month without work. Hell even two months is entirely possible if lets say you took care of a sick relative or something. But if you have a multi month gap on your resume and try to fill it up by making stuff up, I will find out. I'm literally trained for this. I will sweat you. And if I find out you are lying, you can bet your ass you are never gonna be hired in my industry ever.

>>56547676
>i was living off money i made trading coins propped up by terrorist organizations and posting racist comments and images of frogs on a Laotian haberdashery forum

None of your business.

>>56547676
I signed an NDA

>>56548158
If you filter out applicants just cause they had a big gap in their employment status then youre a retard

>>56548184
Sorry but this is a huge red flag. It shows you are lazy and lack responsibility.

Like I said if you were sick in the hospital and can prove it, then we might not care. But if you have been neeting and trust me I will know then you can look for a job elsewhere.

>>56548158
Honestly, you sound like a retarded power tripping dork. I guarantee I could LARP a fake resume right to your face and you would have no idea. Faggot.

>>56548200
You realize references exist right?

>>56548218
Yea. Easy to fake, retard. Your job is a joke.

>>56548228
Ok so you are an idiot.

Thanks, but in the real world you cannot fake those things.

>>56548184
Coping and seething because he lived in mommy’s basement for a few years and doesn’t want to be punished for it lmfao. Everyone knows you’re a loser anon

>>56548158
>>56548189
>>56548218
Lel, fucking roastie. I didn't work at all from 2010-2019 and got through every one of you to the (male) hiring manager. No degree either. Everytime. Your job is a joke, a Barbie playhouse for you that was built by men to sequester you away from the productive side of things.

"I could tell you, but then I would have to kill you."

>>56548240
Oh wow, so you gave the number of one of your friends for your McDonalds application? Good job!

I'm talking about actual businesses. LinkedIn, etc. People with names, people with contacts and relations. You think you can fake an entire company or career, with people working there, who all have careers and know people? That's impossible.

>>56548158
Shut up, silly woman.

>>56548232
>you are an idiot
>EVERYONE IS LAFFING AT CHU
Social shaming is the mark of a woman.

>>56548255
>McDonalds
And she keeps going with it, kek. Honey, calm down - listen to yourself.

>>56548255
>You think you can trick me?!
Yes, quite easily in fact. You sound like a midwit and I guarantee I make more money then you, faggot

>>56548255
It's not possible for me to obtain a "professional" job in any field except technical because I appear and am ideologically racist.
In the multiple fields I am working to become coherent in, no one cares about how good of a paper shuffling coffee brewer you are, they just care about whether or not you are adept in the skill they expect you to be in.

>>56548270
Okay so how are you gonna trick me? You set up an entire fake company, you set up dozens of people working there, you all fake their diplomas and you all fake their contacts?

One call. That's all that it takes for me. I can call a university to see if someone actually studied there and got their degree. I can call any company to find out if someone has been working there and if they performed well. As soon as something doesn't add up, I will know.

>>56548279
Yes, very edgy.

>>56548280
You are such a midwit faggot you think a CIA operation needs to be conducted. Unironically look in a mirror and listen to yourself

>>56548280
I for one don't have to trick you, my skills speak for themselves. No need to setup a fake company, and my references are real.

Listen toots, why don't you make everyone here a nice cup of coffee and sit back and let the men talk.

>>56548239
>>56548189
I actually made a lot of money in crypto and was able to live comfortably for 5 years with no job. I have a bachelors a masters and 5 years of experience in my field. If you dont hire me because i had a gap you're a retard.

>>56548296
Just don't lie on your resume or pretend that you can fill up a gap with some made up bullsh*t. Because it is literally my job to find out.

>>56548308
So if you have enough money you will be lazy? Not exactly the kind of person i'm mostly looking for in regards to the companies that hire me.

>>56548310
You wont find out shit, because you are simply a woman. Where's my coffee?

>>56548307
Yes! Be sure to say those things during your interview! It will obviously guarantee you of a job.

Someone post the WebM of that HR roastie going on a power trip. Kek.

>>56548158
I fucking hate your kind bitch

>>56548158
based bait

>>56548331
https://youtube.com/watch?v=m373idwiMXE
Whatever this is good enough kek

>>56547676
>It's personal and intimte. I don't want to share it with strangers on day one.

>>56548322
Will do. I also advise that I hate working with niggers as well as women. Besides, most of you HR gashes are so useless you are getting replaced with literal poo (pic rel).

>>56548158
Kill yourself

>>56548364
Yeah of course you say all those things during your interview.

>>56548317
>So if you have enough money you will be lazy?
I hate to break it to you, but that's pretty much everybody. Imagine thinking that anyone would choose to keep working alongside people like you if they actually had enough money to live on their own

>>56548158
you'll never be a real woman

>>56548402
Yeah i'm sorry we are just gonna go with another candidate ;)

Gentlemen, one word and the HR roastie kike is destroyed. This is the secret. Watch this:
Freelance consultant/advisor

>b-b-b-but what if she asks for a client reference!!!!
Yeah, easiest thing in the world. Burner phone and Chinese accent. “Herrow mistah anon veddy gud workah numbah one!” What are they going to do, ask for a background check on Chang Ping Pong, project manager at Kung Pow Industries? That would cut into their The Office daily binge watch

And because most HR fags are 110 IQ tops, and also because many legitimate professionals attempt to work as freelance consultants or advisors at some point, they happily gobble it up. They’re too afraid of spurning anyone in their industry with a modicum or real influence (ie anyone not an interchangeable HR drone). Extra points if you frame it like “ah some of my investments did REALLY well ;) my nest egg was big enough that I took a mini-retirement in Aruba but just couldn’t keep away from work, so pivoted to consulting. Great money, but you know, the economy. Oh and it’s such a hassle to not have a big smart HR person to decide what three health plans I should choose from, or what box to check on my W2…”

>>56548280
I went from making $30k a year to $210 within six months by doing this. I have a 150 IQ, your people cannot win against me. This is like playing 1:1 basketball but I’m 6’10” and you’re 5’8”. You simply are genetically incapable.

>>56548424
You think you only need a name and a phone number? Everyone is connected. The person you give for your reference actually has to exist. Their company has to exist. All their contacts and relations have to exist. You cannot fake that. I have to send a single message through LinkedIn to the right person and if I find out you are a fraud you will never ever be hired ever again in my industry.

I was traveling.

>>56548464
To where? That sounds lovely. Can you show me some pictures? And receipts?

>>56548424
This is why we don’t hire off the boat foreigners anymore. They think they have 150iq scheme running when in reality it’s 110iq.

>>56548442
>MUH LINKEDIN MUH LINKEDIN
Oh my god I’ll have to make yet another LinkedIn page? God I’m up to like twelve now. Let’s see, no profile picture, degree from Shanghai Univeristy, worked at Guangzouh Heavy Industries, and DONE! Go ahead and contact GHI, I’m sure the chink version of you is just waiting around the phone to help you find out if Lee Ho Fook is one of their 14,000 employees. Oh and their HR dept is a WeChat number that looks like +80-62636267272628229. They’ll get RIGHT back to you.

>>56548399
Let me tell you a true story, sweatie:

>2010
>been IT guy for 15 years
>decide to neet for 9 years
>2019 - get sick of it
>craigslist.exe
>apply at two jobs, SF Bay market
>get interviews at both
>interview #1, meh but getting a second
>interview #2
>talk with hiring mgr in his office
>is cool broheim, also chad like me
>tell a couple jokes
>ask to see server room
>Mama Mia! - literally say that, mgr lolz
>go back to his office, see Marb Reds casually hidden
>ask him to go out for a smoke
>while having cig we kek about next candidate coming in - some spic in a three piece suit
>get offer via SMS next morning

Later he tells me the beaner DEI HR chick didn't want him to interview me because I didn't have a degree and had gaps. She hated my guts forever, so I used to stop by and small talk her a couple times a week.

Ok, bye for now Mary. Good luck you detective you.

>>56548483
Essentially: once again the East is ruining the long term goals of legit, hard working people. Must suck to be a hard working immigrant only to have your rep ruined by criminals back home.

>>56548442
HR roasties don't actually put in that much time or effort vetting candidates. Anyone who's lying on their resume about their skills will get sniffed out during technical interviews by the people who actually know what they're doing.
An HR roastie is never going to call up your references or your old college to verify that you actually went there lmao. What kind of job even asks for references anymore? I work in IT and I've never seen a single job that asked for references. Seems kind of outdated to me

>>56548158
No body will mourn you, how does it feel that no one will mourn you when you leave your very sad and pathetic existence behind for Hell?

>>56548473
I went to Montana, I was a hunting guide. I have a few photos but no receipts.

>>56548518
Why are you so upset? If you are honest in your job interview and on your resume you got nothing to worry about?

>>56548527
Well, as long as you can show the pictures and you are in them, then maybe your story checks out. But if you have been without income all that time, that might be a red flag because it shows lack of responsibility.

>"no I don't think I will"
>proceeds to coof all over the recruiter to give her the rona then leave

>>56548158
>T. useless roastie sheboon
I had a 13 years gap for being a NEET and i got the job lying in my resume so cope and seethe

>>56548542
Lack of responsibility of what? I was a hunting guide for people in the deep woods of Montana. We didn't have anything to keep tabs on, it was a free service anyways.

On the pictures, I'll grab some when I get home and bring them down.

>>56548604
Usually when you work somewhere, the company needs you

>>56548542
>>56548604
Further more on the responsibility issue, the hunting was so auspicious that I didn't need an income to survive. I would trap and hunt for the majority all of the food and took care of a reclusive hunting shack about 19 miles from the nearest market. I feel like that would take a lot of courage and responsibility to have that much confidence in your skills to do something like that.

Ok men, here are some tips for "gaps", at least IT related:

>out of business / startups
>worked at companies that changed ownership
>big shitty unorganized companies: AT&T, Comcast, Autozone... you know the ones
>consulting
>health - self or family (cant verify because HIPAA)

Short term employment (<1y)
> was "on contract"
> family emergency (cancer, accident, AIDS, whatever - they can't ask you for proofs because HIPAA)

Also, don't use social media other that LinkedIn, which shoulld be full of absolute bullshit with 15% reality mixed in

>>56548542
> that might be a red flag because it shows lack of responsibility.
“Uhmmm like this candidate did not display terrific teamwork or efficient energy, and our Shekelburg-Blatt psychological assessment we insisted the company pay $19,000 for says that’s bad.”

>>56548612
Not that you would know what that's like roastie

>>56548612
But I didn't work for a company, I was traveling. If I have a job with a company, why would I not show up?

>>56548633
And if you were traveling, you didn't have an income. You didn't work for a company before where you had a big responsibility because apparently you thought it would be wise to just do something 'fun' instead....

>>56548647
Ok you are just trolling now. Fucking holes, I swear, always needing that sweet sweet attention.

>>56548232
>you cannot fake those things.
LMFAOOOOO, yeah here’s the number to my fathe- I mean direct supervisor from my last company. Oh you want to go further back? Sure here’s my sist- i mean the department head from that job.

>>56548647
That's right, I didn't an income. I worked at a company that had doing sales, it was a job. I earned a good salary, but I was 21 and wanted to use my skills for something else. I gave my notice two weeks prior and told them my plan and they wished me well, I went out and did my work and exceled at it. I was even offered a job by a member of ACoE to work as a surveyor for that area because I was that good of a tracker and knew the region so well. What did you do before doing this H.R. thing? And please don't disrespect me by pooh-poohing on my excursion, it was grueling endeavor that yielded great results. That's like saying a Missionary is going to Burma to have 'fun.'

>>56548687
>I didn't an income.

>>56548158
"You took a month off, sure, if you had a good excuse that's ok." lmfao, great troll

>>56548708
Look I'm tired and I'm not writing well, are you gonna nit-pick or are you gonna RP?

>>56548708
what makes you so cocky? does this job give you a powerful feeling to judge others?
you are ware that your job literally is made for the most retarded lazy people without skills right? you are exactly the person who sohuldnt have a job, especially not this one, i hope god makes you deeply miserable and fail, you need to be humbled asap.
someone talking about lazyness working in HR lol get a load of this fucker

>>56548720
idk man im getting kindof bored with this larp and my 3rd beer is making me lazier so idk if I can keep up lol. Truth be told im also a fat, unemployed, lazy, racist incel and I know you people hate 'hr roasties' from all the 'wagie' threads kek so I pretended to be one for (You)'s.

I've never had a job because I get neetbux because of autism but I figured it goes like that. I also heard about linkedin but no idea how that works

>>56548726
You just gotta take responsibility and show that you are a hard worker that puts the company first.

If you have a gap on your resume this is a huge red flag for us.

>>56548744
i swear ill kill you

>>56548744
this is also LARP isnt it? youre actually a fireman. I can tell. I was a fireman once

>>56548421
Good riddance.

>>56548753
pick a number bro you're not the only one that wants it

>>56548744
If true, 9/10 larping. You really came off like a woman (or a Swedish male).

>>56548768

now isn't that quite interesting?

>>56548255
>You think you can fake an entire company or career, with people working there
Yes, look up Theranos

>>56548771
There's that one /pol/ post about how to detect a femanon. Standby.

>>56548765
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead

>>56548744
You sly dog. 8/10 larp. gg

>>56548771
>>56548781

>>56548744
pathetic

>>56547676
I was transitioning

>>56548845
I'm not a girl

>>56548862
No shite. Are you Swedish tho?

>>56548866
Nvm. You are a bong, I can tell after re-reading.

>>56548878
>>56548866
wrong

>>56548158
>we're trained to sniff
sniff my balls lmao

I was conducting a case study of the past, present, and future of digital currencies to gain market insight that is impossible to achieve as a wagie.

>>56548158
AI will take over your job, kek wills it.

>>56548991

That image actually made me LOL

>>56548158
I work in healthcare making 150k/yr and I've never had a job where anyone actually investigates employment history or looks for references. Same goes with college transcripts, lmao

>>56549195
Its only half ironic. Keep an eye out for major updates, keep cycles in mind like big selloffs before people go back to school or dxp weekends. Make money. Even rwt it, thats a cryptocurrency. And P hats are NFTs. People make 6 figs running bot farms.

>>56549389
Same. That's why it was such a beautifully crafted bait. It was believable because I have actually met HR people who think and talk like this. They live in a different world.

>>56547676
>>56547953
I put 5 year faang work history in Europe when I won green card and moved to USA. I applied to faang in usa, studied and got L5. Nigga, I don't even know what the fuck I am doing, just interview memorization.

>>56548158
Incredible bait, bravo!

>>56548620
>this guy shows up with an empty resume
>"Umm, sure he has no resume or anything, but, like, he displays great teamwork and communication skills, he seems adaptable and I think he would be a great fit for our team"

>>56548232
I had friends and family pretend to be my references.

Yes you can fake those things, and nobody ever even called them anyway.

Devoting my life to wildlife conservation in Kenya (how can she prove not), now shut the fuck up you worthless little girl.

What have you ever done in your life? And how do you explain the seamen of 9 different men in you from the last 3 months?

>>56549761
Or being a scuba diving instructor as a free man with no boss.

>>56548473
>Can you show me some pictures? And receipts?
Come on now with the larp, no HR is gonna ask for that, also holes aren't always deal-breakers.
One sure deal breaker i fell for multiple times was getting asked the same question again and again until finally losing my shit, i later learned it's one of the basic tests in an interview.
Fuck office jobs anyway.

How do I say "I spent it not working and enjoying life and I still have more money than you anyways" in acceptable woman speak?

>>56547676
I didn't fell like working.

>>56549918
I had to put my career on pause to deal with a medical issue in my family. It took a little longer than expected but it's resolved now.

>>56548158

>>56549900
Exactly, and if they would have the cheek ask you that you know they aren't people to have anything to do with.

>>56548158
>I’m in HR
>we are trained
[X] Doubt
HR are the most useless wastes of space in the western world, there only job is to stop white people being hired and if, accidentally they are, stop them from getting any work done

>>56548158
Even though this is clearly bait, it made me angry reading it. This is the exact condescending, self-important tone reddit 'experts' have

>>56548421
Then your boss chews you out cause you reject perfectly good candidates for stupid reasons

>>56548513
A lot of jobs ask for references. And yes, they will pay to have your education checked.

Some bigger companies will do it to avoid liability.

> t. worked for a reference verification company as of recently

>>56550410
>third party reference verification
Do HR clowns really not just make the phone calls themselves?

Can confirm that Fortune 500 and most Fortune 1000 companies will do extensive background research to avoid liabilities. Not saying that you have to be squeaky clean, but they look for consistency and nothing too blemishing.

> t. professional background researcher.

>>56550844

HR in larger companies do not perform that task as it is quicker and less expensive to outsource checking on liabilities.

>>56547676
drinking and fucking (living)

>>56548158
larp, average time to find a new job is 3 months

>>56548062
hmm

>>56549429
How soon until they are all fired

>>56548255
>You think you can fake an entire company or career
there exist services dedicated entirely to this
and lets be honest for anything lower then higher management the background check isnt gonna be all that intrusive

whatever reply you are about to throw in my face, explain the entire cruiseships of jeets that get hired and at high tier positions that both clearly faked their entire career and dont know jack and shit of what they are suppose to be doing

>>56548158
>this is a very very bad idea.
probably bait but no it isn't lol. people never get the book thrown at them for this unless they are doing something like trying to be a doctor/engineer.

>>56547676
also just say you own your own house and was trading stuff on ebay.

>>56548442
>you will never ever be hired ever again in my industry
they always threaten you with this, but its not true
what do you do get on the super secret HR discord where every department from all the competing companies just believes every word
if such a thing would exist then if i were in high management i would poison that well like a jew in a medieval city to deny the competition good employees that would actively undermine my business
it is for this specific reason that i dont believe at all in the lets call up all the previous companies you ever worked at line

it is by these things you can tell the larpers at /biz/ either never advanced when they were still waging or work at shit tier companies/depts
i managed to get to the other side of the hiring process and nobody called previous employers as why would they communicate with the competition
or lol the absolute hilarious proposition that HR drone in rival A would send out internal sensitive documents like performance reviews to HR drone at rival B

>>56548158
You sound so into. This. What a sad existence.

You must be mistaken Miss Roastie, as you can see I lied on my resume about any gaps.

>>56548158
Kek this is bullshit if your in the US. You could probably pull this gestapo bullshit in some europoor shithole, but glorious burgerland we have very Jewish lawyers who’d love to hear how you turned Jamel down because he lied on his resume’bout dem programs

>>56547676
you see there was this guy named Satoshi Nakamoto and he created a cryptographic currency in 2009. it gave me a bunch of money to sit around and watch anime for years until I gambled it away and now I'm here looking for gainful employment again because I'm about to be evicted.

>>56547676
>stand up
>unzip pants
>her eyes immediately dilate and her jaw drops
>a-a-anon kun…
>me: imma finna give you a 9 year gap, if you know what I mean

>>56548845
the problem is what it boils down to is women are eternally teenagers no matter what. they never develop beyond a teenager's attitude to life. they either have the superficial teenager's understanding of something or the equally superficial edgy babbies first contrarian understanding of something. the way they type on here is EXACTLY like how a given teenage boy will type as well. if you are a troon and want to pretend to be a woman, just type like you would have typed when you were 13. super heavy ingroup/outgroup preference and social proof because those are the systems that are coming online when you reach puberty / adolescence and become conscious of the way others see you

girls "mature" faster than boys between ages 10-14 because they are reaching their final stage of life i.e. teenagehood. for the rest of their life they can be more or less developed socially but if you press them their immature teenage disposition will come out in one way or another. this is why it was taken as a given to past generations that women are basically silly. it becomes way clearer in times of hardship / high pressure which we are generally lacking in.

it's probably because women are intended to be an intermediary link between children and men. a teenager suits that job very well, and has all the capabilities needed to govern over children and guide them from childhood to adolescence. a major reason why women shouldn't be allowed to teach male children over the age of like 8-10.

tldr the system of analysis presented in the image is borked because you will catch shotas in your foid radar if you apply it on here

>>56547676
I bummed around living off redundancy money for a few years, then started a small business which failed, decided I was a better [whatever job title you're applying for] than a salesman, so here I am. Worked for me.
>t.software developer

>>56547790
Hired!

>>56548158
Gay pasta

>>56547676
Anybody that leaves a gap and just doesn’t lie and cheat is retarded

>>56548158
No you don’t you are all lazy roasties that can’t be bothered to investigate anything

t. Landed 100k job lying about experience

>>56548158

some of the best bait i've seen in a while here

>>56547676
NDA

>>56552630
good read thank you

>>56549497
Lmaoooo. Top KEK.

>>56547676
>Oh, that...Yeah I really got into killing niggers. Hunting and killing niggers and getting away with it. The pay wasn't much, but it was fulfilling.

>>56552084
At the previous company I worked for, the head of HR lied about all of their education and experience. We used those same third party verification services that most other companies use (hint: those companies outsource to indians and Filipinos who do a really shitty job) and they detected nothing abnormal. The only reason she got caught is because one day someone got bored and decided to do some OSINT on them after they were caught stealing money from the company in various ways.

>>56548513
No they don't but they typically have the final say when a sector boss wants somebody fired. That's why they only hire libshit #metoo #blm hags to avoid any potential, prejudical atercations in a corporate sector. Private, like X, not so much

>>56553416
>hint: those companies outsource to indians and Filipinos who do a really shitty job
doesnt surprise me at all, i ma what is fuckstick outfit going to do as a background check go to lets say exxonmobile dot com search for contacts and ask info@marketing dot exxon
hey guys can you please confirm anon mcanonson worked amongst your 60k wagie plus all the turnover 3 years ago and please send his performance reviews too
i am sure they'll get right on that, i mean aiding the competition is of course what they get paid for

>>56547676
I was in elementary school

>>56548158
Show tits

Oh i had too many beers guys but nice to see this thread is still up

>>56548218
I realize you are a faggot.

>>56555184
Just dont lie on your resume bro

>>56548158
Kys roastie

>>56548280
listen nigger.
LISTEN UP.
I DONT GIVE A SHIT. hope you took the 3 boosters, and your micro vacular system is totally fucked up.
I have neeted for a whole decade and i couldn't give 2 shit what shit eating vaxxies think of it. there are a billion ways to make money and being a hopeless wagecuck is not the best of them.
Playing by the system rules is like agreeing to die a terrible death.
Anyway. I do literally have a 8 year gap on my cv and 100 k in assets. get rekt. I also had serious health issues that prevented me from keeping a job or having a normal life. That was both a curse and a blessing, and i had to cure myself on my own because doctors didn't help me one bit.

>>56548158
bait of the year

hold that faggots that responded in earnest

>>56552630
keked.
but i still encounter interesting and smart women so i don't agree fully.

>>56548158
>in my industry ever
What industry are you in that you have excessive number of qualified applicants? HR?

I just landed my first post-college job and the process included a background check where a third party entity verified my previous employer and even job title (I was a marketing intern, on my resume I just put 'intern' but they had MKTG Intern on the background check). So I don't know where you guys find these companies that wouldn't find enormous holes in your claimed history. I'm genuinely curious what kind of places you apply to that would not find out the truth.
Then again this is a fortune 150 company

>>56550915
"So what it is you say you do here?"

>>56547676
I'd just say I'm 1/64th Cherokee and this is racism.

>>56547676
> I worked at sears
> I worked at Ftx
> I worked at Twitter
> I worked at MySpace
Just find a company that no longer exists and fill in your resume with that company.

>>56556432
This is possibly the most intelligent post /biz/ has seen since it's inception.

>>56548158
Bro I’ve been working for 25+ years professionally making over 100k and now in the 200k’s. You never speak to HR outside of just setting up the interview appointment. After that you talk to the team you’ll be working with and they go over your resume. It’s also been my experience that no one gives a shit about anything you’ve done outside of the last 2-3 years. References and previous employers have never been called ever.

>>56548158
Well baited. Newfags everywhere

>>56548158
>trained to sniff out fakes
>interviews said fakes
What copypasta is this anon lmao

>>56547676
> "yeah well i needed time to find myself. In the meanwhile i masturbated on camera for money"

>>56548062
I do that for good money. I get paid to shill cats on leddit. Big feline rules the world and you don't even know it.

>>56548158

>>56556449
what field are you working on?

>>56548518
>implying this bitch doesn't have tons of simps at her feet

>>56547676
>I made a lot of money as a retail investor so I didn't have to work to live
>However, having so much free time is boring, so I want to start working again

>>56557652
Start your own business. It's what I did and it's much more rewarding.

>>56547676
I developed a severe bowl disorder called Sfing Bing Ling Ming syndrome where the shit is always liquid and always running down my leg so I got disability for 10 years from my last company which is running out so I need you now

>>56556193
I work at a top 20 Fortune 500 right now making $125k/yr in the midwest. I had a six year resume gap. When it was time for me to go back to work I crammed RHCE linux and devops study material. Then I claimed on my resume I was doing devops consulting for those six years. It was never a problem. Now that I've been here for a while I see how few candidates we get for higher-paying technical positions. If a person has the skills and they're willing to work for what we're paying, we can't afford to send them away simply because they fudged their resume. We may not get another promising prospect for months. There's way more competition for lower paying jobs than there is for higher paying jobs.

>>56547676
I was on a holiday

>>56557843
Do you still have all the receipts?

>>56558851
yea up my ass, wanna retrieve them?

>>56548158
kek based, neets on suicide watch

>>56547676

>>56556045
>i still encounter interesting and smart women so i don't agree fully.
Under stress they are no different. Advanced women can seem rational under calm organized conditions. Things change when pressure is involved. I have personally witness by department director, a woman with a Phd, completely lose her shit when something went slightly wrong.

>>56548744
based

>>56548158
Nice pasta. I'm never going back to a company big enough to have a department full of you cunts though. Because they are just retarded places to work, or "work".

>>56548158
>HR recruitement agent
>trained.
Good one.

>>56547676
Buy a $100 LLC that you've been "working" on

simple. trading crypto/stocks. it was proftiable enough to subsist on but you want back to stable job.