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/biz/ - Business & Finance

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56389524 No.56389524 [Reply] [Original]

my government job requires an explanation for having a toilet break that exceeds 5 minutes. you guys lied to me and said government jobs are comfy

>> No.56389552

>>56389524
sell government secrets and make them pay

>> No.56389581

>>56389524
Since it sounds like you're a TSA agent, enjoy the groping you get to do.

>> No.56389593

>>56389524
My best friend named ashed ol tea bag har will be snuggling cocain and a mixtape of Howard’s sterns private parts, please let it pass Through

>> No.56389598
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56389598

>not taking a photograph of your feces and sending it to your boss when he asks
Learn to play the game

>> No.56389614

>>56389524
gov jobs are mostly veterans

veterans can shit, shave, shower, piss, blow their nose, eat a full meal, and jerk off in less than 5 minutes

wtf are you doing that takes more than 5 minutes? stop hogging the shitter.

>> No.56389618

>>56389598
Kek it's so obvious. If female include slight glimpse of pen or in shot

>> No.56389622

>>56389598
>not just recording yourself busting a load into the toilet

>> No.56389842

>>56389524
just tell them you took so much gay cock in the ass that you lost all control, and that as homo you will sue them for your anal handicap - and them they must use your proper pronouns, they will never bother you again.

>> No.56389850

>>56389842
This^

Also tell them that you enjoy eating big pieces of shit that people of color make in the toilets. Then go up to your boss and eat his puke and use it as lube when he fucks you

>> No.56389863
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56389863

>>56389842

>> No.56389886

>>56389524
Why DO you need more than 5 minutes for a toilet break?

>> No.56390518

>>56389524
>needing more than 5 minutes to pee and/or poo
Skill issue. Git gud fgt.

>> No.56390891

>>56389524
Just tell them you have irritable bowel syndrome.

>> No.56391648

File for sexual harassment. You boss spends your toilet break imagining you taking a shit and thinking about what you could be doing other than taking a shit that takes more than five minutes.

>> No.56392012

>>56389886
Pinching off early and not defecating fully isn't good for you anon.

>> No.56392031

>>56389614
Sometimes wiping your ass takes 15 minutes and three rolls of ass paper.

>> No.56392053

>>56389842
this used to be a joke
now it can actually be used as some legit excuse
and people wonder why we're betting on Total fiatcel Death

>> No.56392056

>>56390518
>shitting at work
I wake up and shit and shower before work. I then pee as soon as I get to work before I clock in. Don't have to ever use restroom to pee until break.

>> No.56392065
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56392065

>>56389524
You have a shit job anon