/biz/ - Business & Finance

>Why are you looking for employment? What happened to your last job?
>what did you study?
>how long do you plan to work?
>how much pay do you want, we offer X
>HR will explain all the benefits and leave and company policies. Youre hired.
Done. 10 minutes. My entire department of 23 people were hired in this fashion. Im not going to spend more than 10 minutes doing a fucking interview.

>>56313668
>that stock photo

>>56313668
I'd just ask questions to sniff out if they're loser chuds. Small talk would be the real interview, stuff like what they're doing this weekend, their hobbies, and if they are in a relationship. Nobody wants to work with a loser with no social skills.

> former google recruiter
you mean the ones that got laid off earlier this year? tech recruiters are not anything special

also what can make or break your interview won't be whether you asked this one question after failing the technical rounds

t. turned down a google offer, work at a faang (not apple or amazon, those don't pay well)

man im asking wacky shit like "whats the most unique way you've stolen something?" or "if there was one law you could abolish, which would it be?"

id be a nightmare

>>56313714
This guy actually gets it.

>>56313668
>chink HR roastie interviewing an unkempt negress

This is the future you all wanted.

>>56313668
vaccine status

>>56313668
I'd ask one thing and one thing only
>IS DA PUSSY FAT??

>>56313668
>ah yes, this is the type of people we want to work for us

>>56313746
>>56313714
Most people going for the job will have the credentials. These questions will mean more in the long run

>>56313668
‘What’s the No. 1 problem I can solve in the first 30 days?’
Thanks for posting the question, jackass.

>>56313668
Sell me this pen?
>B-but this is for your IT Specialist position, I can only change passwords in active director-
Sell me this fucking pen you stupid nerd.

>>56313714
Topkek at the irony here. The fact that one applies for a job and signs up to be a wageslave itself indicates he's a loser (could be a temp loser). You think winners are desperate to submit themselves and waste their time on wageslaving and trying to get approval from retarded bosses and recruiters like you? The real winners are out there trying to run and build their own stuff or NEETmaxxing. Only losers submit to the corporate jew, trying to climb up the ladder and become a good goy. Goodluck weeding out the losers from the pacl of losers thinking you've picked out the winner but the honest truth is the goy you pick in itself is a massive loser who sold himself out to working for someone else and you think he's the winner kek.

>>56313803
Here's your (You) since you were so desperate for one, people wonder why society is falling apart.

>>56313725
MAKES
YOU
THINK

>>56313702
The "we'll take any retard who will talk to us" strategy eh?

>>56314420
Why would anyone want to work with people with no social skills? Asking for a bad time in communication and teamwork

>>56314411
You scared the little guy off that wasn't nice.

>>56314411
NEET Chad obliterates pathetic wagies with facts and logic

>>56314411

56315232
>bei..ng being a a a neet is...nt cool.
>I'm the realist cool anon.

>>56313668
> former Google recruiter.

you mean one of those blond bitches from Texas with a psych degree?

>>56313668
this is going to sound like cope but unironically who wants to work in tech?
autism, trannies, furries, indians, diversity hires, passive aggressive slackjawed losers
then on top of that they're not even making money anymore and are laying people off left and
so many better industries to be in if your goal is big money

Why would I be asking for answers from the people who are looking to me to provide them structure and direction.

You know what I am and what I do. If you don’t know that then I don’t need you. If you do know that then you know what to do and how you will apply yourself for us. If there’s a relationship that will benefit us both, you’d better know what do do.
Why fuck around you’re either doing something worthwhile or you aren’t.

>>56313668

What is your plan? What are your motives?

>>56313818
Give me $50 or I’ll call and say it’s stolen. That’s my fucking pen. You just admitted that on record. It’s in your possession without payment.

Good thing the lease terms are universal and written on the pen. That’s $5k for any loan period minimum.
But. It’s yours for $50. In the next minute.
Handwaves at door security.
I am the captain now.

>>56314411
99.9% of people who try to build their own business are far bigger losers than an office wagie.

>>56313714
Prioritizing hos socially mailable someone is over actual capabilities, good job boomer, you fucked up the work place.

there is just one question you should ask
>PALESTINE OR ISRAEL
if they answer israel, just shoot them in the face

>>56313714
Those are all easily blaggable questions even if you're a loser.

>>56315398
>words mean whatever I want them to mean

>>56314411
Yeah it's both funny and pathetic as fuck watching wagies try and pretend that they're not losers.
>Oh yeah we like to go to the BAR after work and DRINK BEER! We're not losers!
Lol

>>56314432
Yeah I get it dude you want attention.

>>56313818
If someone ever does this to me I am going to attack them with the pen. Ok no I won’t but that’s what I pretend in my mind

>>56313714
he doesn't need a good workforce he just needs somebody who can pamper his day up better than his own wife

>>56314411
"don't call us, we'll call you"

>>56315953
because diversity at the expense of talent is for non-lean times, which we are leaving.

>>56313714
Jobs are not suppose to be high school 2.0. Roasties and oversocialized soiboys have ruined the work place

>>56316679
I own a summer/spring business, make as much as a office wagie yet get half the year off. Cope and seethe loser

>>56318129
>honest, hostile and reserved.
You have the job

>>56313714
Other chudcels genuinely haven't made up an entire normie persona including past relationships, travels, festivals and all that shit they can flawlessly reiterate on the spot? Jesus Christ, imagine you actually scored a girl, you'd have to scramble to come up with everything.

>>56313714
I’m a chud but literally none of my co workers suspect it faggot.

>>56313668
>me (leaning in, giving her an alphachad smile full of straight teeth): can you take 18 inches?
>hr roastie: (sweats heavily, legs dripping, nipples erect) I-I-I th-th-think s-so

That’s all they need to know

>>56313769
At least no hablamos german

>>56314425
Once they had done their job and hired people, they were no longer needed.

>>56313668
>a chink interviewing a negress with dyed hair

Kikes are fun.

>>56313668
>what board on 4chan do you post the most?

I will shoot them in the spot if they say soc.

>>56313668
How does this company make money?

>>56317165
if you can blag those questions, then you are by definition not a loser

>>56318597
im a relatively affable chud, and have been very slowly but surely sneaking in 4chan-tier humor with considerable success

I would focus less on questions, more on shit tests and analysis that would reveal their true self.

>>56317154
How about not my monkeys not my circus?

>>56313668
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4K8IEzXnMYk

>>56313668
If you want to run an effective business, reduce/get rid of your hr dept and for god sakes do not let them anywhere near the hiring process except for maybe paperwork. Theyre useless paper shufflers and if you try to treat them as anything more youre doomed to fail.

If the company uses outside hr for hiring, theyre already fucked, many such cases.

>>56313702
>Why are you looking for employment?
Gee, i don't know! What could it possibly be? For what reason could i *possibly* want a job? Truly, a mystery for the ages.

>>56313668
Depends on what type of job I need to fill.

Low level retail position
>Who was your last boss?
Call to verify that person actually shows up for work
>This is your first job and you're in HS? Are you in any clubs?
Club activity usually implies reliability
>What hours can you work?

Any other questions would only be for more complicated positions to ensure they are able to do the job, but then again, that info should be on their application/resume. Everything else in the interview is all about the presence they give off.

>>56313714
>Interviewing a 20 something year old
>He tells us he likes playing video games on the weekends
Let's just say we decided to take the next day off after sending the rejection letter.

>>56313818
>grab pen
>put pen in pocket
>pretend it never existed
At least you get a pen out of the interview. Probably their favorite pen if they actually carry it around

>>56323488
>h-hey, you took my pen!
>>I'll give it back to you for a dollar

>>56313668
I usually just ask for walkthroughs of whatever is interesting on their resume, and for them to explain a project or 2 they've worked on. This applies to people switching jobs and to fresh college grads. You can tell if someone is a good fit almost entirely based on whether they give detailed descriptions of their past work.