/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>55236099
I confess.
I made it in crypto but I never quit my corporate job.
I tell everyone I hate drama but by God I love office drama. In fact I actively spread false rumors just to make others fight.

>>55236099
Kek imagine working for faggot globohomo companies. Cheers OP for trying to profiting off these slaves.

>>55236123
incredibly based, i'm actually in the same boat. I was able to retire long ago, but still keep a shitty corporate job purely for the keks.

I want to fuck most of my female coworkers!!!
There's this attractive middle aged Italian woman who works in my office.
She kind of looks like a trophy mob wife from Long Island.
I want her to ride me cowgirl as I suck on her tits, and then she can cook me dinner afterwards.
Why are Italian women so fucking hot, anons!?

>>55236123
You're literally a bitchy woman. Me too though. Aaaaaaaaa how do I stop

>>55236099
whoever manages the corporate clip art somehow manages to make every single male cartoon man brown skinned. Every single time. The females are all sorts of light skinned but time and time again every corpo newsletter or advertisement my company puts out has a dark skinned cartoon guy. I noticed this over a year ago and can't stop noticing it. I'm afraid I'm going to laugh about it in a meeting and get in trouble

I commited 300 lines of code with the message "stuff added"

>>55236123
what should i do because some wagie at my job is all puffed up and having hissy-fits and screaming complaining, thinks that they are the manager and is just a low tier wagie like most everyone else hahahaha and is always trying to be like "GET ALL THESE TASKS DONE GUYSZ" lmao
you don't even have to try to get this person upset and angry they are just already like that instantly and start freaking out. they show up for shift, instantly start freaking out, losing their shit, also they go tell the actual managers about every little thing and cry.
should I just watch and observe?

>>55236314
Whoever does it likely also posts on /gif/.

>>55236314
It's the new face of Silicon Valley.
Poo is the new Jew.

>>55236099
i actually like going into the office
it forces me to touch grass
which makes my overall mental health better
also there's free food
i get less done and work less hard but who cares
fuck work
i want yummy donuts and a reason to get out of bed

>>55236099
Sometimes the $$$ tempts me to apply for a corpo job, but then I see all the rainbow avatars come out this time of year and I am reminded of Babylon and my own mortality.

>>55236099
I've been giving people financial advice on /biz/ for years but I work at Quiznos and live with my parents

I hate corpos so much its unreal. I hate HR, I hate stand up meetings, I hate corpo happy hour, I hate the fake laughter and "how's the weather", I hate the "hope this finds you well", I hate "as per my last e-mail", I hate the recruiters, I hate their smarmy "I'm too fucking dumb" attitude, I hate the thumbs up emoji, I hate hearing teams notifications, I hate hearing my email notification, I hate, hate, hate it.

The sort of hate that screaming won't alleviate. Cold tears down warm cheeks type of hate. I trembling type of hate. A burning, deep in your heart type of hate. The sort of deep seated hate that keeps you up at night rambling like a schizo, praying to an uncaring god to release you from this torture.

A hate so pure, so burning hot you've become a wagie husk that has grown bitter and jaded and hateful.

A hateful realization that no matter how much I scream and rage against the machine I'm just another wagie stuck in the cagie.

HATE. HATE. HATE. HATE. HATE
>HATE.HATE.HATE.HATE.HATE

the very meaning of the word has lost its meaning. It's just primal guttural, visceral screaming. If I wasn't a coward I would of ended it all but here I am in a beanie baby enthusiast forum typing into the void.

>t. veteran of the psychic wars.

>>55236272
What's your job, may i ask? I too want a job i would keep purely for the keks.

>>55236099
Get drunk for KC bossssddss!!!!!!drunnnnkkk!!!!!

>>55236099
All of these "corpfessions" are AI generated right?

>>55236918
Not mine!
I'm a legit coomer who works in a large office full of fly honeys, especially Italian babes that I wanna stick it to.

>>55236691
ChatGPT, linkholder, nazi?

>>55236099
Working long hours makes me feel important. I tell people it's terrible but I actually like it.

>>55236099
I've applied to over 100 fast food jobs. I get my first paycheck then leave. I drive to different cities, rent hotels when I've exhausted every fast food in my area. I made it and I spend my wealth sabotaging the economy so others fail.

>>55236316
Based, my goto is "update"

i frequently date tinder thots during my late shift (4p-12pm)

two days ago i got my dick sucked in a public park by a swedish girl on xanax

i live in eastern europe
your jobs are being outsourced

>>55236099
>be me, got job as senior accountant thing at kpmg
>dont care about job and pretend to be super smart
>its pick your own seat everyday so i sit as far as i can away from the team
>always like to get super wasted on the free alcohol
>get assigned to biggest job for the most respected partner in firm
>have access to all the myob files
>reset the myob files so the journals others did are deleted
>others get blamed kek
>pretend to work super hard each day staying back til midnight, but hiding in my cool harbour view seat
>do heaps of journals and calcs completely wrong
>walk in one monday after 6 months
>type resignation email and set to a timer
>walk out

>>55237765
Based and batemanpilled

>>55236099
>left a stable job to get a job I really wanted
>got laid off within a year because those fuckers didn't do any risk management and way overhired when times were good, then laid like 70% of the staff off when things got bad
>spent almost a year unemployed
>got a prestigious white collar wagie job
>50-60 hour weeks of endless pressure and unreachable goals
>everyone seems to work till like 11pm and weekends, I feel like a slacker for logging off before 8pm every night
>pay is good and parents are proud to say their son works at Globocorp
>all I see is that when I got to college I was determined not to become my father (who worked a white collar job, earned a lot, but burned his life away hating his long stressful hours), but I am now in an even worse position than he was
>all I want to do is drink to much and eat until I feel sick when I get home
>only like 3 months in and genuinely don't know how I'll last 6 months as I'm not performing well enough no matter how fucking much I work
>stomach is churning even thinking about going back to work on Monday because I know what's waiting for me

What the fuck do I do

All I wanted to be was some weird creative guy and I ended up as a stressed out suit

>>55239340
>to take a job I really wanted

Looking back, I probably worked similar hours in that job with a lot of stress but I loved it

I'll never forgive those cunts for taking it from me

>>55236691
Uh oh, sounds like you’ve got a case of the Mondays!

Next month will be the three (3) mark since I last opened my email account. I still do about as much work as before just without emails. Nobody has ever said anything about it, it all just continued as normal. When people want something they call me because "It's really hard to get you to reply, you must be swamped with work!!" (I'm not).

>>55239748
*three year mark, fuck

>>55236099
My company requires continuing education hours. There is a jew on my team who decided we’ll have weekly meetings to discuss news in our work area and get the credits. Now that it’s been implemented, he drives the hosts/presenters like fucking mules, all for a meeting that isn’t any billable hours for clients

>>55239360
But anon...it's Friday

>>55236099
my company was affected by the SVB collapse but they didnt tell us until the May all hands when it was "sorted"

"quiet quitting" is basically what i have been doing for 7 years

average salary in my field is 130k but i accept 80k because it means i can just not show up

they get mad once a year but they are in limbo where i have too much experience to ever replace me at such a low salary

they have tried many times, but without fail they hire someone "new" to "work alongside me", ask way too much of them and convince that guy to quit... or he follows my lead, doesnt show up and tries to farm paychecks

my employer is based in india and hires nothing but indians so i dont feel bad

even if they shoot themselves in the foot to fire me and i starve, i remain in the moral right as i inconvenienced this invasive sycophantic poo company for almost a decade by simply doing nothing

>>55236099
My last year of work I pretty much went full office space. I just sort of sat there.

>>55239841
Based, and white ape pilled.

>>55236099
I confess that i bought the dip on the troll relaunch bc i am retarded

>>55239841
I feel like this is the only way to win as a white collar wagie

Going for the top means you become an alcoholic with no life outside work, loads of money but no time to spend it (and you need to spend it all on your nice house, nanny for the kids, schools, maids etc, oursourcing your life to sustain your job)

Becoming a sort of Human Documentation Storage for a system that no one else can do without is the only way to get real job security. If you were some kind of Cobol guy for a bank you'd make $$$$$$$$$ out the ass for this exact reason

I wish I had a shitty corporate office job where I got paid to do fuck all most of my shift. I'm a lazy bastard so doing 2hours of work and 6 hours of nothing sounds like heaven.

>>55236939
rent free

>>55239920
bought it too

>>55239748
>parents stands between teachers and students
Pottery

>>55236099
I get paid £75k per year to do 1 hour of work per day, and my boss thinks I'm very efficient.

>>55239340
>t. Works for muh Big 4

>>55240114
:(

Yes

>>55239920
I must confess that I'm retarded as well

>>55239920
They didn’t tell us that they were migrating to a new token I lost 4k fml

>>55240124
I worked for Big4 for 2.5 years.

Just get at least a year on your CV, then get a job in industry. HR Roasties are impressed seeing Big4 on your CV.

>>55240200
Yeah that's my current plan. Just grit my teeth for a year and then gtfo

In terms of not getting fired I think I can do it as they seem to burn through people very quickly and are desperate for experienced hires, but in terms of stress I am unironically worried about becoming an obese alcoholic long before that. I did comparable hours in my first job for a lot less pay but not for such sustained periods, I'm finding I can't really deal with the stress and deliver on shit at the same time

Does it get better?

>>55236691
Yeah anyway, are you joining the race conversation on neurodiversity of menopausal single women in the workplace? There's going to be an amazing presentation on microaggressions towards asexual women, hosted by our chief happiness officer!
Make sure to wear the trans support t-shirt we sent you ;)

>>55240141
they were pretty clear about it anon
there was a deadline and a countdown

>>55240227
>Does it get better?

Depends, for a large part it depends on your team, projects and partners. Some are good, most are bad. In terms of the general corporate bullshit, paperwork, shit systems, time sheets - no.

>>55240585
For timesheets I don't really get the fuss , its pretty quick

The thing I dont understand is what happens if I get put on the bench after this project. Like it seems like you have to beg partners for work rather than them just having something for you

But like if you just sit on the bench and get paid to do fuck all, what happens? They give you a PIP and a shitty rating I guess but do they actually fire you?

>>55240609
>They give you a PIP and a shitty rating I guess but do they actually fire you?
If you're not doing any chargeable hours, then yeah eventually.

People hate timesheets because they tell you to put the actual hours however:
Scenario A - Budget is 100 hours, you complete it in 25 and log 25 hours, the project makes extra profit, but now your numbers are shit.
Scenario B - Budget is 100 hours, you complete it in 150, and log 150, you've now blown the budget and have the partner up your ass.
Scenario C - Buget is 100 hours, you log 100 hours, but takes you 150 hours, you've now "eaten hours" and will incentivise them to reduce the budget on future projects.

I always did it in half the budget, but charged the full amount anyway.

>>55237072

I've worked with people like you. I am the opposite, trying to work the absolute minimum, even less than that.

While I spot the pattern, I can never say anything about the willing-overtimers. That's because doing to would require airing the whole truth. Not the truth that I'm lazy and trying to game the system, but the bigger truth that are jobs might not be necessary and out company is bullshit.

So while I'm on to you, for now, you are safe.

>>55237676
>I get my first paycheck then leave.


Do you actually work the job in that time?

>>55240719
It works the same in software engineering. Do your best to complete the work in less than your allocated hours to a project, but charge the whole allocation. If you're charging 20 hours and actually working 4, have a conversation with the PM, don't just start charging 4 and not communicate.

>>55240824
I typically try to actually work 25hrs of my 40hr week, but sometimes I end up working 60. I genuinely feel better during the occasional 60hr week vs the typical 25hr week.

>>55236099
i use tranny bathrooms cause they are more clean (there are no faggots in the office so they are mint clean)

>>55239841
You are absolutely based my friend.

Have spent the last 19 years in corporate america over performing and making founders and executives stupid filthy fucking rich.

I solely exist now to farm paychecks, say no to requests outside my defined area of work and cause nothing but pure pain for founders of tech when I leave with their entire customer base and FUCK them with FUD or selling to their customers.

If I could figure out an unlimited money hook like the savages in Office Space did, I would in a fucking hearbeat.

These faggot companies, their faggot roasties and HR bitches are going to face pure terror going forward.

Fuck these corporate jobs directly in the ass without lube.

I slept some roastie from recruitment
She has a husband
I have a girlfriend
I just don't care

>>55236099
You guys need to go work for a mid size company.
They think Im this master networker because Im always out of the office. I really just drive home and have a nap, fuck my wife or play golf/hike/surf.
Ive delegated all my tasks to others.
I also own properties and manage them.
When we have a meeting I tell them what my contacts are saying. So they think Im invaluable for these contacts.
I also fly to other cities and basically just have a 3 day holiday to look at our projects. I usually hike or do shrooms and chill out.
I also say I hate wfh and constantly complain about it when Im in. I pretend I hate my wife and cant wait to get away from the family. That way they think Im not off doing something else.
Tbf Im actually really good when I want to be so like once a year Ill do something nobody else can. Like couple weeks ago renegotiated a new deal with a consultant thatll save us a shit load.
Im about to finish off a property deal thatll set me up for retirement but Ill probably keep my job as its an excuse to get out and I see my mates some times in the middle of the day.
I used to run my owm business while at work but it was way too much effort. Being a landlord is easier.

>>55241098
How did that even happen without her husband or your girlfriend being suspicious / finding out?

>>55240096
Field of work, fellow bong?

>>55241209
In a LARP, anything is possible

I know this comes off as some dumb humble brag but I've gotten myself into a golden handcuffs situation with my job where I can't find a better position pay/work wise. All my friends have gotten married and have kids so I rarely get to see them and because of the job I'm stuck in a city that is quickly circling the drain. It's like some mild hell of my own creation.

I just want to hatefuck the HR roastie

>>55241178
What's your job title?

>>55241537
It sounds like that twilight zone episode where the guy dies and thinks he’s in heaven but he’s actually in hell. Sound familiar?

>>55236486
This. I work in a big office building full of marketing companies which means it’s full of hot young girls and not many guys. I figured out how to do my job in only about 1-2 hours per day so just go around the office eating food and hitting on latinas. Then I just leave early. No one cares lmao.

>>55239841
>based and bloody-basterd-rape-your-grandpa-bitch pilled

I hate AML
I hate Compliance
I hate KYC
Amen.

>>55236293
She sounds amazing, can relate.

>>55236691
>mfw I wrote this pasta years ago and still see it reposted
>mfw I was right and all of this is happening faster than I imagined

>>55242882
That’s my field of work too

>>55242882
>I hate KYC

You and me both brother.

>>55239793
My pro license just enacted continuing education for renewals. Fuckin bullshit. 24 hours of proof that I know what I've been doing for over a decade

>>55240860

Fuck off retard no life bitch

>>55243469
>proof that I know what I've been doing for over a decade

Oh my sweet summer child, it has nothing to do with that. Now be a good boy and sign up for your mandatory diversity in the workplace credit.

>>55236099
At my company they try to pressure you into doing overtime (most people in my department do 10-20 hours per week of overtime minimum), but it's illegal for them to ask you to do it. There's some tension because I refuse to do overtime, and it upsets them, but they can't actually do anything about it other than seethe. I do a good job, during work hours

>>55243340
Are you referring to the image?

>>55236099
My company had a seminar about “parents of trans kids” and every single parent there is a single mom with the dad nowhere to be found. Its almost hilarious at this point

>>55236099
>First real job out of college
>Work for huge multinational
>Our branch is the best in the nation, make the most money, plans to keep expanding
> Really just joined at the tail end of a bubble
>Department fired 14 people
>Huge pressure to Jew every last cent

>>55239340
>All I wanted to be was some weird creative guy
This is a gay and retarded dream. This is not a real thing. There is not an industry of weird creative guys making bank loving work. This is a snowflake position that you seem to at least mildly feel entitled to. I can’t even begin to articulate how lost and misguided you are. I give up on this post. YOU HAVE TO SAVE YOURSELF FAGGOT

>>55243788
Yes.

>>55236316
>>55237690
>500 commits
>"Updated copyright year"

>>55236316
>commit the update that management has been pushing, which you know will blow everything up
>"you could have prevented this"
>push
>everything blows up
>commit immediately after
>"IT'S HAPPENING!!!!!"
A job well done. Oh won't you just look at the time! My scheduled 30 minute aroma therapy session in the bathroom!

> go to internship
> all women obsessed over 1 man
> 6 months of this
> get blackpilled and become a NEET because the chad in question is a literal retard who does 0 work, as all roast from that company (and all companies in general) and non-chads get delegated all the work from others, meanwhile everyone has the same wage

Whoever takes part in this bullshit is mentally ill if he's not a chad/roastie

>>55236099
The mortgage company i worked at defrauded the gov and other gov programs. They lied and covered up bad loans and forcefully foreclosed on ppl or bullied them. Lots of violations but no one listened to me and they fired me when i tried to change the billing practices. Oh well

>>55241537
Same here. I'm in insurance underwriting making 160k.I don't really enjoy it at all, but would have to take like an 80k paycut minimum to start over in another industry.

>>55244028
>There is not an industry of weird creative guys making bank loving work

There literally are entire industries of musicians, artists, filmmakers, writers etc who do

I would bet money you had exactly this same idea of what you wanted to do but couldn't make it work, now you tell others its impossible

>>55236691
This.
There's not much to add. I just hate all the people I interact with and count down the hours until I can leave and enjoy being alone.
It's a horrible cycle and I hope crypto can help me out of it.

>>55236293
I'm an engineer and I feel the same way about the asian girls I work which are like 1/3 of my female coworkers.

>>55239340
when i was in big 4
i just pretended to work and pretended to be gay so they couldnt fire me
then gorge myself on the free food and drinks so i could save money that way
i did learn how to excel pretty good though
left after a bit and got a based job at a huge truck company basically doing nothing

my advice would be just try to do enough work to disapear so the workers forget about you for a while

>>55246955
Burn the rice, pay the price.

>>55236099
Oh, cool, the actual business thread, I want to shop an idea I've been tinkering with
Basically I think it would cost <100k to meaningfully shift employment demographics at a random CA tech company, and then go short. For example let's say google.
The plan would be to hire ~10k low-education black people on a survey site like mechanical turk to apply to random engineering jobs. "Disparate impact" doesn't care about actual qualifications, and "business necessity" is basically impossible to prove in California. So it's either hire them or get exposed to a massive lawsuit. And that's not even counting the political maneuvering of whatever internal DEI death squads.
What do you think, would it work?

>>55242882
I hate 'em too. Anon txs are my jam, and I ride with Railgun. Keep it low-key and secure, my peeps!

>>55236099
>be at function
>coworkers start talking about AI and ChatGPT
>"it's so disruptive!"
>"it's gonna change the way we work!"
Why do normies always just recycle the same tropes that we've been told? Surely it's not hard to recognise how all this stuff has been thrust upon us so suddenly and artificially? How can they not see how these will be used to further subjugate us? But no it's just muh jobs and disruption and efficiency

>>55236123
how do you spread false rumors?
teach me oh evil one

>>55247605
>Why do normies always just recycle the same tropes that we've been told?
Because NPCs are incapable of original thought.

>>55241238
Banking (Risk)

>>55243340
It's annoying how blind people are. They can't see houses are too expensive because we can't afford the same standards of construction anymore.

>>55248020
>Because NPCs are incapable of original thought
When you see it in person rather than in memes and videos it's a lot more confronting rather than funny. Mind you these people are meant to be amongst the most intelligent members of society yet they still go home to watch whatever goyslop on Netflix is trending and then talk about in the break room the following day. Doesn't help that my workplace is now like 60% women

>>55247989
talk to the office gossip
sit back
watch the chaos

>>55236293
This.
I work remotely but once in a month I do the 4h drive to the office.

Just to chat with all of those lovely young chicks in tight pencil skirts and boobs tucked in way to tight white shirts. There are like 15 girls out of total 60 workers in our company and ALL of them are fucking hot. With my buddies we laugh that our Boss hires only hot girls.

Last year on a christmas party I fucked
my coworker and it turned into little affair. Sadly her beta cuck knocked her up and she left for 2 year preggo vacation. Sometimes I wonder if the kid is mine, but she declined lol.

My good friend who is a hispanic GigaChad, tall and shredded fucked 5 girls from the office that I know. Including the one that I banged... Shortly after her wedding. Imagine the whore she is

>>55236293
>iktf
There was a gilf at my old job, must have been late 50s at the youngest
She was a top sales woman married to the ceo of one of the big banks
She wore prada heels and was really bitchy to everyone but I loved flirting with her
Something about her was just HOT
Powerful office women get my rocks off

>minimum wage factory job.
>€23,000
>70% women
>the manager is a walking napoleon complex that blasts jogger rap at full volume.
>ear protection barely does anything
The only saving grace is the hour's allocated allow for 4 day work weeks.

>new coworker when she started was normal sized
>Half a year later, she is now chubby
>Have to hide erection when I'm around her now
My god, I'm a brosnanfag

>>55247216
What's the sell here? Are these wagies paying you a cut for getting them a job or what?

>>55236316
>Initial commit

>>55240833
I just bullshit on my timesheet. Sometimes I don't even do work during the day.

>>55239841
based

I used to be the "independent entity" that fired people for companies.
I'd was the guy who would be hired to analyse the efficiency of businesses and then get rid of the office workers who were a problem.
They all thought they were hiring a fucking magician with some kind of exceptionally trained statistical and analytical knowledge but the reality is that 90% of the time all I did was get as many women fired as possible without even applying any of my skills.
Whenever I was asked how I came to my conclusions. All I told them was that the knowledge was "proprietary" and couldnt be revealed.
Better yet, every singe time, without fail, the more women I fired, the more efficient and effective the company became so after a while no one questioned my methods.

>>55249470
Big if true
It's probably made up though

>>55249470
true if big

>>55249470
I*
(Sorry phoneposting right now because Im on near-permanent holiday)

>>55249501
100% true. Trained as a systems engineer and project manager after completing my degree. Kinda fell in to the job after I talked to a business owner I was working for and convinced him 20% of his workforce (mostly women) were a waste of company funds. Eventually I was contracted out to do the same work for similar businesses before I buolt a reputation and began working independently.

>>55249624
Built* (god damn it, I wish I brought my laptop with me)

I work in sales for a company and I have a fairly large territory. Actual work on 'admin days' (not travelling) is less than one hour. The only thing I need to do is drive around and visit customers. Every fucking time I go into a customer's office it's just fake smiles and bullshit conversations. I visit about 120 different accounts and there's maybe like five people that I genuinely enjoy talking to. Mind you, there's about 20 people at each account.

Want to start my own company. If I'm going to sell something, I might as well actually make good money doing it.

>got a job in a "pharma" company
>Got interviewed by 2 white men and a white woman
>All locals and took the job because they seemed nice
>First day, realize I'm actually working with 3 indians who do drone work all day and 1 of them is my supervisor
>Helicopters, micromanages and emails me 10 times a day with demands while CC about 6 people even though I sit 3 metres away from him.
>Never respond to emails and just walk up to him, tower over him while he sits there
>"What did you mean by "have this done before you go home Pajeet"
>Shits his pants and plays innocent and has "oh, well, if you could have it done by the end of the week that would be great.
>Get really fucking pissed off with job, they gave the illusion in the job description they actually do something. All the job entails is ordering generics from India and releasing them to the American market, 2 samples sent to my country for "testing".
>Whole operation is basically an illusion to use my country as a tax haven.
>Get really pissed off with a passive aggressive brown pussy trying to tell me what to do.
>I purposely start taking on work I know I won't finish
>Book 2 weeks holidays off down the line
>Tell him I'm going to have it all done before I go.
>Take 2 weeks sick leave 2 weeks prior to my holiday with "the coof"
>Luckily summoned for jury duty.
>Basically end up taking 5 weeks paid in a row without working up holdiays, handing in a sick note and Turing up for jury and not being selected.
>Get paid in full
>Hand in resignation, no notice
>Basically ghost them afterwards
>They tell me I owe them money
>Give the illusion I'll go all the way to a tribunal and have contacted a solicitor
>They back off and ask me to drop back in my laptop and desk
>Tell them to come get it
>They send a currier
>I tell him about the indian's and he laughs his ass off
>Out for work for 6 weeks
>Receive unemployment and tax back for overpayment from revenue
>Get new job

>>55236343
damn, imagine the smell in that office as they go to town on her

>>55249682
Now that's what I call getting the needful done.
Do not redeem or revert my basterd.

>>55236293
>I want to fuck most of my female coworkers!!!
Same but my coworkers are young artsy girls in their mid 20s.

>>55236343
that doesn't explain why corporate artists are antisemitic

>>55239793
and if that person wasn't a jew would you still complain

>Work in logistics
>Type in orders from clients to the drivers like some sort of a monkey
>Drivers are retards that dont speak my language, need to use DeepL daily
>Clients constantly sperg out of complain
>Coworkers are foreigners that dont speak my language, scream constantly and are nervous workaholics
Fucking hell i hate officejobs, all i ever wanted is to either be a soldier or be left alone. I hate white collar jobs, they are soul draining, meaningless pits of despair

>>55236123
spiritual tranny

>>55250206
Most people in us truck dispatching are double brokers from india and armenia

>>55250949
Here dispatch is 100% ukrainian, fucking miserable job that even monkeys can do, stressful, monotone and very unsatisfying

>>55239793
>>55243469

imagine not working in a field where you need to stay abreast of developments.. I bet you don't read professional journals either

t. Lawyer

Working at a new place for almost 1 year now.

>mid size tech company of ~100 employees
>60% women 40% men

I fucking absolutely hate the work I do but I absolutely love the people I work with. I spend my break hanging out with as much people as possible.

Also holy shit no-one ever told me about the massive amount of affairs. Everyone has a relationship including me, but we're all just having affairs with each other. This shit has made me jaded. Most of us aren't even unhappy with our relationships. We just have "office-wives/husbands" and all the drama associated with that.

Makes me realize that I'm an asshole as well, legitimately care about my girl but I'm still betraying her with this shit.

>>55236099
Figured out a way to spoof [redacted] so I can just sit at home and do nothinn getting paid.
I was aiming to switch jobs but now I'm not sure considering I can get paid for doing nothing.

>>55249265
This made my sides go out of orbit
Thanks for the laugh anon

>>55239360
I'm splitting my sides laughing

>>55251557
Is that gif the guy from the Treasure Master game?

>WFH
>participate in daily 8:45 am meeting from bed
>sleep again from 10 am till 12:30 pm
>have to work from the office one day a week
>VNC into home computer to shitpost, trade and program my own projects
>take a shit before leaving and a nap on the shitter

>>55239360
Quick, someone call workplace happiness coach!

>>55241783
not going to respond because they are larping

the only people who get to fuck off like this are the guys who own the company

>>55251463
I think office "partner" is probs more common than not.
I may be auts, but I can tell which duos get along a bit too well. Maybe they have a history, maybe they stayed in the same hotel for a team meeting and got frisky after drinks in the bar, I don't know but it sounds comfy.

Imagine having sexual partners in your workplace, who give you winks and knowing looks across the workplace, and when you find yourselves alone for a couple of minutes you get to feel that rush of adrenaline, allure, passion while they do the same - maybe a peck, maybe they pass you a note: "I'll be in <barName> at 8 ;)"

Fuck.
I need to stop wfh for my corporate soulless employer, I'm too young for this

>>55236293
>I want to fuck most of my female coworkers
Believe it or not speaking from personal experience the feeling is probably mutual.

>>55236486
Yep going to the office is a very healthy thing that keeps you grounded, the actual work itself tends to kill your soul though.

>>55237072
Same, especially if it's while working with colleagues and we're pushing towards some deadline for a client and we all celebrate afterwards. The work itself is shit but the feeling of camaraderie and bonding is irreplaceable.

>>55241098
This is the most quintessential office post I've read in the thread. Something just happens when people of opposite sex are forced to spend time together. I never go in with the mindset of me fucking any of these women but it still inevitably happens.

>>55236293
My work is project based and my team is structured such that you can basically choose who you work for on each project. I actively choose to only work with women that are older than me and below average attractiveness. They always end up mothering me, doing all the work, and giving me really great feedback. My current line up is a 36 year old woman who is single, childless, never married and desperate to settle down, and a 57 year old woman whose ex husband beat the shit out of her. They have both confided in me and the 36 year old cries to me on a regular basis.

Just got a promotion and a raise, despite the fact I lay in bed until 1pm most days when 'working from home'

>>55252108
Yeah it's absolutely like that. Sometimes they don't even bother hiding it.

>Imagine having sexual partners in your workplace, who give you winks and knowing looks across the workplace, and when you find yourselves alone for a couple of minutes you get to feel that rush of adrenaline, allure, passion while they do the same
Man it's even fucking worse than that. She's being flirtatious towards me in the work chat with "subtle" emoji reactions or double-entendres "inside jokes". During my birthday last month she even held the (public) hug a bit too close and like 5 seconds too long. Almost teasing the office about the fact we have an affair. I'm pretty sure most people suspect something but to be fair most of the others do something similar. It's just all-round a mess. Especially as I've met most of their partners and they've met mine.

But you're right there absolutely is a sense of thrill/excitement going on as well. Like being in highschool and having a crush and sneaking into her parents house. It has the same feeling and atmosphere. But I still feel like absolute shit when I arrive home from "working late" and my significant other did her best cooking a grand meal for me for like 3 hours. Or when I "can't get it up" because I already fucked my colleague that day and she starts crying because "I'm not attracted to her anymore".

It's a fucked up situation and not as nice as you're selling it right now but at the end of the day I'm still not stopping it and letting it happen so what can I say?

>>55252353
If you're not married you should leave your gf. You'll get caught some day and it will destroy her ability to trust for years. You're being incredibly selfish.

>>55252353
I more meant work "partners" regardless of your relationship status.
I'm not advocating cheating, but I think if you're going to do so then you should at least pay your gf the love and affection she deserves, if not more to compensate.

What she doesn't know cant hurt her. It will blow up eventually if you don't button it, but please at least give her some compensation in the meantime. She sounds like she loves you, and that's not small thing these days.

Basically, if you can't keep your current girl back home satisfied, wtf are you doing with the work one? If she's "better", then probs best end it with your home girl

>>55252353
Do you ever feel guilt?

>>55236123
If I get a corporate job how do I endear myself to people like you to be safe? I just want to be that person in the office that people enjoy being around.

>>55252499
Of course I feel guilty I actually love her, however the honeymoon phase is over so the romantic tingly stomach feeling is gone, something that I still feel with the girl at the office.

>>55252402
It's very hard because I still love her and want to spend my life together with her. I've thought about coming clean multiple times though but in a way I also feel bad for hurting her when I reveal it to her. I know I'm being the bad guy here though. I just don't know if I have the strength and integrity to actually end this affair and patch things up at home, or break up with her to give her a fair chance with someone more loyal to her. Like I said it's a mess.

>>55252476
>Basically, if you can't keep your current girl back home satisfied, wtf are you doing with the work one? If she's "better", then probs best end it with your home girl
Things are complicated. I love my girl a lot but I'm not "in-love" anymore because those chemicals just disappear with the years. Meanwhile I get the tingles with the girl at the office. Also she's herself in a relationship as well and we're having an affair with each other.

We sometimes have pillowtalk about running away together and becoming a real couple but of course that's just some fantasy and would never actually work out. I'm not even sure we both truly want that.

To be fair with the amount of affairs I see going on in the office setting I'm starting to think it's just a structural problem with how the work environment is set up in our society in general and not personal issues of the people involved, but what do I know.

>>55252631
>Things are complicated. I love my girl a lot but I'm not "in-love" anymore because those chemicals just disappear with the years. Meanwhile I get the tingles with the girl at the office.

Sadly, I know this feel.
I'm not one to judge - hope things pan out well for you and all involved.

>>55236099
i jerked off to my vietnamese coworkers feet. she was cute and smelled good, but also a massive bitch.

>>55252631
No it’s a social contagion and you’ve romanticized the affair you brain dead nematode. You saw others doing it and convinced yourself you’re in the same situation. Instead of putting the effort in to experience new situations with your woman you’ve decided that you like your perverse dick tingling more than the strength of emotion that comes from loyalty and dedication. It is your personal problem and you’re trying to deny your responsibility. Stop being a degenerate, go home and hug your girl and hold her in your arms, be quiet and just enjoy the fact you have someone in this world before it’s too late and your problems come to an actual head.

>>55236123
I do this, too. Also time theft. You steal my time I take it right back

>>55251463
Based

>>55252717
Upvoted

>>55252717
Yea cheating anon is a degenerate and massive asshole.

>>55249761
What job should I pick to be surrounded by young artsy girls ?

I have a master in engineering, studied 5 years with almost no girls in classes to end up working with 50-60yo boring boomer dudes and doing crushing hours. I wish I had known earlier the work environnement would be more important than the actual work (that I hate) for me. At least it gived me an excuse to go back to college to have some kind of meme business degree or whater

>>55252717
Cringe dude

>>55251463
Cheating is natural and everyone has been doing it throughout history, you shouldn't feel ashamed. If anything just take it easy. You will only live for about 90 years top, get most out of it. Fuck the haters shitting on you.

I can't tell yet if I fucked up or not. You guys decide
>get a job in 2019 as a project accountant at mid/large size architecture company
>a few months later the pandemic hits and we all get sent home "for two weeks"
>end up fully remote for two years
>job is easy as shit
>I can get away with working maybe 20 hours per week if I want
>pay is decent but not amazing
Here's where I might have fucked up
>staff accountant at our company retires
>boss asks if I'd be interested in the position
>comes with a big raise
>but I need to be in the office 5 days per week
I took the job because I wanted the money, but fuck bros I miss having a zero-stress fully remote job. I just hope that in the long term it'll look good on my resume to show that I was promoted internally and successful in multiple roles. Apart from being in the office each day though the job still isn't terrible. I usually work 40 hours per week and I should crack 100k this year depending on my bonus. I'm thinking I'll stick around until I hit 1 year in the role, then shop around for another fully WFH job that pays better than the last time I was fully WFH.

Hardest part was training my replacement. The whole time we were training it felt like walking a tightrope where I was trying to explain to this guy that the job he just got hired for was easy as piss and doesn't take 40 hours per week to be good at, while also not letting my manager catch on to that fact.

>work in an electronics lab
>basically just a monkey for the engineers
>work slow as fuck but I have to be onsite to respond to shit in a timely manner
>I just fuck around on my phone all day going insane