/biz/ - Business & Finance

AH earnings gunna pump!

>0%
0%
>0%
0%

market is fake and gay

Damn they even got the rabbits doing Doordash now?

>>54658713
>CONTAGO!

Sorry, guys, my forecast for today's closing price was garbage and too high by 0.03%.

>>54658713
Ok guys, markets closed, now the interesting stuff begins.

>>54658713
how do I invest in the S&P500 as a mexican?

>>54658713
I'm south from mexico, but above panama. Am I allowed? I can give you access to the S-word...

Does anyone do business with any of these companies?

Let's see, Elon.

This shit is going to dump into negative vector space. Mumus will lose everything

>>54658769
Interactive Brokers let's anybody create an account except for like Iranians and North Koreans.

Ding ding ding... (sigh) how'd everyone do today...?

SLURPING TESLA LMAO

>>54658713
What's the /smg/ verdict on AMD?

>SPY 0.00%
Wow who could have predicted such a thing.

>>54658769
>CONTIGO

G_D DAMN IT!!! FUCK YOU ELON! I HOPE AN ARTIFICIALLY INETELLIGENT MALICIOUS PROGRAM HACKS INTO YOUR CARS AND CAUSES THEM ALL TO DRIVE INTO EACH OTHER!

>>54658804

LMAO instant dump again

>>54658794
Green, but not checking because that's unlucky.

>>54658794
-.43%

This thread brought to you by pregnant rabbit cunny. I'm glad I gave her triplets

thoughts on TSLA earnings?

>>54658755
>¡Me Gusta Con Retrograde!

>>54658794
A perfectly comfy crab.

DOUBLE MISS BY TESLA THIS SHIT IS GOING TO $0!!!

WHAT THE AFTER HOURS HELL WAS THAT?!

>>54658834

holy SHIT.
free cash flow expected: 3.x billion
actual FCF: 441 million

holy fuck its ogre

>>54658794
-0.3%

>>54658835
So all this shit is just a fancy sine curve?

>>54658805
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJQP7kiw5Fk

>>54658834
Apparently they're bad.

>>54658802
ask TSM on thursday

>>54658842
HE DIDNT SELL MORE BUTT COIN TO HELP HIS EARNINGS?!?!

>earnings season
>giga crabbing
why?

>>54658794
-.73%. Diversified portfolios just mean you get rekt by something new everyday.

This is bad news. Where is Closing Bell Anon?

WHAT KIND OF KIKERY IS THIS (((CNBC))) UP TO HERE?

>>54658864
It literally IS A SINUSOID.

>>54658879
It's one big Mexican standoff at the moment.

Lam Research also eating a little shit, not great for SOXL.

Car industry will get heemed. Higher rates fuckin real estate will also fuck car sales. Especially with such bad gas prices and electricity prices. I'm short BMW. They'll get pushed out of china and the sell more than 1/3 of their cars there.

>>54658794
-7 points on the ES

>>54658901
Flat circles etc.

>>54658910
>Higher rates fuckin real estate
No they don't. Boomers sitting on $1.2m mansions have no need to borrow when they downsize into $1m ones.

>>54658879
Investors are rotated money around from 2hats expensive and doesn't work to what's cheap and makes money

>>54658889
The crabbing made him insane, he an hero'd

>>54658907
SOXL has just been crabbing the past month. not even really any good buying opportunities in a while either

>0% gain today
this fucking nigger market is so boring

Tesla being gay as per usual

>>54658872
What net worth must one achieve to obtain her? serious question.

>>54658923
Have you seen REITs? With real estate i meant REITs stocks. Not real estate itself, this shit never loses value.

>>54658862
Isn't that bullish cause it means sales will pick up and recover next year? Or does this logic only apply to semis

>>54658894
Elon cultists will slurp up this dipperino tomorrow

>>54658947
stfu

>>54658794
I love trading stocks (gambling)

>>54658943
Approx 1 Trump's worth

Tesla stock drilling lmao

>ZION
>30.74
>-1.98 -6.05%

>>54658953
Elon pissed off his cultists when he bought twitter and ratted out the deep state on the election fruad.

TESLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

>TSLA

KWAB

>>54658943
>>54658963
TREE FIDDY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNIjVHDngXc

my bastards redeem

>>54658962
you should sell that

>>54658995
What happened

WtF IS THAT CYBERTRUCK LMAO. MEMECAR.

>>54658987
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZ1j4kwGkas

I made $200 today and a hot date from tinder planned for tonight. I'm thinking of Applebee's or Ruby Tuesdays. Should I wear a suit?

Looks like Baggie wins again boys.

#Winning #TigerBlood #TSLA #Investing

>>54658959
Heh, it's recovering. It will be slurped and recovered by tomorrow morning

Tesla bottomed l out, will open green tomorrow

>>54658794
Used MARA, RIOT, CLSK profits yesterday morning for WAL, PACW, DSPT end of day yesterday. Sold it and going to long TECHNOKANG ELON ahead of conference call.

>>54658962
>>54659002
don't tell the 30/share FRC to share his one-itis!

>>54658939
Make it -6% accounting for the daily inflation. -10% if you're anglo kek.

>>54659007
Earnings are pretty bad apparently

>>54658907
Don't you ever post my wife here again, you got that?

>>54659002
I really wanted to when I was up 10% but I'm on my 3rd round trip, which sucks ass but as long as it doesn't giga dump in premarket I should walk away green. Debating whether to pickup TSLA on the cheap or gamble on FRC earnings.

TGA only got $106b on tax day. WHICH ONE OF YOU FUCKS DIDN'T PAY UP?!

>>54659007
people couldnt afford to buy new cars

another day of earnings where selling iron condors would have totally paid off baka

>>54659013
Slurrrrrrrped. That's the sound of you about to get btfo

>>54659030
Honestly this shit should be trading at $80 per share.

>>54658744
>900 MILLION (!) In volume for today for BBBY
>70% of which were off exchange
Markets are indeed fake and gay.

>>54659089
>implying anybody is buying this trash at these prices
ahhahahahahahahaha

>>54659097
My boss drives a Tesla

>>54658811
Imagine shorting DE and longing TSLA

>>54659110
Baggot there is still time to inverse yourself and save your r portfolio

>>54659080
Did people actually think the tax revenue number would be decent?

Is 75 shares of TLT enough to make it?

>>54659080
Reminder:
>Which brings us to the meat of today's article: the coming tax data in the context of the Treasury's rapidly depleting cash balance (TGA). Later this week, ***Cabana expects to see TGA rise to $250-370bn from its current level just below $100bn***. This would be in-line with his April total surplus estimate of $267bn.

>Now, historically, TGA rises $100-200bn in the week including the individual tax date. And while last year was an outlier with extremely strong tax receipts & a TGA increase of $356bn the week of the tax date, there is risk of a potentially (far) weaker number this year.

>Based on history, ***any TGA increase below $150bn would be seen as weak and any increase above $200b as strong***. Needless to say, the case-flow driven X-date projections will swing with any above or below expectations tax receipt & TGA swing. As noted above, the TGA is already quite low due to debt limit dynamics, even after accounting for prior years with debt limit issues.

>>54659131
I got the $183.33 put options. I can't sell them.

I grow tired of the unbearable crabness of snibby

IBM BROS

>>54659137
TLT is a portfolio of ~20 year bonds lent to a junk borrower.

>>54659013
>>54659131
>>54659089
I'm about to get in on this dip before the earnings call.

Inverse Baggot never fails

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3MVIWeU36ZY

>>54659135
Plenty of people were coping that "we can last until September or October". Meanwhile:

>Tax receipts came in lighter than folks were thinking ($105bn vs $130bn expected). Miss seems to be corporate related. TGA only built $109bn. We still have tax receipts coming in rest of week so the liquidity drain continues but we are going to raise risk of default in early June
-https://twitter.com/ces921/status/1648779886616608772

>>54659149
Holy sh!t they replaced a woman CEO...with a PAJEETA? IBM to 500 in no time dawg!

>>54659185
We assfuck the people of this country ever year for a measly $100 billy?

>>54659080
>>54659141
>>54659135
>>54659185
>>54659206

I live in commiefornia so I don't need to pay that hobbit babushkah until October so suck it

https://www.morganstanley.com/ideas/bank-failures-earnings-recession-us-equities

>>54659161
That was what those of us in the industry call a "Live Meow Jump". It's going to continue to go down, Elon is too busy trying to let people be racist on twitter to actually run his buisiness.

I keep getting these Facebook ads where some random dude in a blazer shills some bullshit financial advice. I've seen 4 already and every single one follows the same fucking premise
>bro get a massive obscure loan with some bullshit magic numbers as the collateral and then use that money to buy real estate and get rich renting it out please subscribe for more tips

>>54659224
>I live in commiefornia

>>54659206
A little more than that as late filers and paper checks and whatnot trickle in. Also this is just the end of year squaring of the books. There's continuous fucking via (FICA and non-FICA) withholding throughout the year.

>>54659223
Uh... didn't a couple of regionals beat earnings?

>>54659224
You, Georgia, and parts of Alabama I think are all similarly blessed. Something like 10-15% of GDP is out of the game.

>>54659229
>be dead beat renter
>refuse to pay rent
>get to be a squatter for 6 months for free because the government loves criminals
I'd never get involved with real estate.

>>54659252
Regionals were (and are) heemed, but for the most part not as badly as the selloff priced in.

>>54658713
A time for economic change is rapidly approaching as we jump to and from stocks like rabbits. Almost like animals that go quack and ribbit.

>>54658755
The forest. Silent as a mouse. Why would mice be in the forest unhedged?

>>54659271
Mice aren't known for their risk management.

PBR irmãos...

>>54659257
based. Seriously if people want to revolt just don't pay. Eventually they'll start the CBDC system and just auto tithe us from the blockchain so this is the last chance to stop the gravy train for these bloodsuckers

>>54659234
well beggers can't be choosers. So far the pros outway the cons.

>>54659022
>it's recovering
Wrong

>>54659305
why don't we just cut their hands off for stealing, if we cut their hands off they won't be able to steal anymore.

>>54659285
>risk management
What's that?

>>54659339
Once upon a time, options were a hedge.

>>54659302
Brazil selling cheap brapgas... socialism in action baby!

>Petrobras (NYSE:PBR) said Monday it will cut the price of natural gas it sells to distributors by 8.1% starting May 1 from the February-April quarter.
>The company said in a Brazilian securities filing that the cut comes in line with global oil prices and foreign exchange rates.
>With the coming price cut, the price of natural gas sold by Petrobras (PBR) to distributors will have fallen ~19% in a year, the company said.

>>54659324
Oh so now we have to pay SSI checks to criminals now after they claim disability? Do you not use you brain?

>>54659349
Lula was KOLD klan all along.

>>54659349
just make criminals ineligible for social security, and while we're on it, allow for people to opt out so they don't have to pay into it.

Anyone shilling Origin Materials Inc. ORGN yet? Is this the next p&d?

>>54659347
>hedge
They can't beat me if I throw money at everything

>SPY -0.017%
>QQQ -0.047%
THEY CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT

>>54659372
>allow for people to opt out so they don't have to pay into it.
I'd do that in a heartbeat, but you know damn well that would collapse it. Not that it would be a bad thing, but everybody would file that shit immediately.

>>54659372
>just make criminals ineligible for social security
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disparate_impact

>>54659388
>SQQQ +0.17%
crabbing time

>>54659372
>allow for people to opt out so they don't have to pay into it.
Ponzi schemes don't work like that, sorry

>>54659388
Just buy at X, B, and D and sell at A and C

Why aren't there any good /fit/ related stocks? There has to be some way to provide value to customers, help them build muscles and improve their health without screwing them over with overpriced stationary bike subscriptions or retarded shit like that.

BRO we taylor swift market general now...

She said no to FTX because she said NO TO SCAMS! HAHAH

>>54659448

>>54659428
LTH has done well this year, they run primo gyms last I recall.

And say what you will about Wegovy/semaglutide disproportionately hitting lean mass, but NVO's price action the past several months has been nothing to sneeze at.

Do you see it? Can ya hear it?

Better get up off his bumper
Before he get dumber and let off the thumper
Yeah take the next exit
Catch 'em on the back street, clack the heat but forget it
That's one less butt face
News lady said they found coke, open and shut case
They convinced it's drug related
V skated off in the ugly buggy faded
After that last turn
Seen an old man crash and burn
They have to place his ashes in an urn
In return the world is a safer place to race
Just don't invade his personal space
Worst case scenario
Place your back away from the bass that's in the stereo
Insurance can't bring you back to life
From a pissy drunk driver when a big rig jack knife

>>54659305
Its always satisfying to see retarded Californians suffering because of their terrible voting habits.

I also want to say that I'm not giving up my gas stove. I will go full Waco before I give up my gas stove.

>>54659485
TOU.TO selling them $7 natural gas from Canada laughing to the bank

>>54659491
Dont put your kids in the basement when they show up ok Baggy Karesh?

>>54659481
rip

>>54658774
Tesla? Never heard of it.

This is my 4th consecutive day of straight gains

>>54658774
I do business with some of them.

holy fucking shit TSLA missed on FCF really bad. And FCF is what matters a lot these days

>>54659558
No you don't, you broke faggot.

>>54659521
is this mutt's land?

>>54659594
Two of them are customers of mine.

>>54659594
I'm pretty sure baggot is a closet richfag. The fact that he's Jewish should be a dead giveaway.

>>54659448
Told you she was posting.


>>54659473
>8 fuckin month gigawedge
IT'S OVER

>>54659590
The fuck is it all tied up into?

>>54659156
mean reversion friend

Press F. Another GME baggy finally did the needful. The bags were just to heavy.

hes gonna pivot

>Tell anon he should buy X stocks
>Think a bit about it, well maybe that was a bad idea, let's not invest
>Stock pumps, anon takes profit

>Tell anon he should short Y stock
>Well maybe I'm an idiot for thinking that was going to dump, haha, what a dumb lad I am
>Stock dumbs, anon takes profit

I'm literally giving others advice, then I go: "Nah, that's a horrible idea", don't buy/short the stock and my portfolio is as it was a day ago, meanwhile anon's up 20%.
Fuck me, what the fuck is wrong with me. I'm unironically starting to think I might have testosterone problems.

>>54659645
I agree. Bonds had a 40 year bull market, so now they'll have a 40 year bear market.

>>54659611
Coontown.

>>54659623
it should be against the law to be this beautiful

>>54659653
Positive bank earnings means they're not contracting lending enough to count as a rape hike. 50 bepis points are a lock.

>>54659639
Not sure what you mean here

>>54659678
BREAKIN THE LAW

BREAKIN THE LAW

>>54659491
If you want to prove your christianity you should gas the moneychangers

>>54659347
I hedge my options with options. in today's fast pace 10% daily inflation nobody has time for 7% annual index returns with financial meltdowns every 8 years.

>>54659680
If they have no cash flow they gotta be spending it somewhere

>>54658902
Heh... I actually made that webm. I didn't think anyone had saved it

>>54659653
>>54659679

>>54659725
Rising
hot
sticky
CPI loads
delivered deep into a tight labor market.

Also Taylor Swift.

Did that ID say "Dr" to imply they're going to fix it?

>>54659185
money is leaving then?

>>54659759
A couple hundred billion, yes.

>>54659718
I mean manufacturing cars is an expensive business. OEM automaking is a razor thin margin business. TSLA's mkt cap is 5x of the next biggest automaker OEM (Toyota or something i think idk). All that money is going to making cars, anon

Now i will say that my cousin is a bhenchode from the midwest who works for Honda. he's an industrial engineer who works in mechanized logistics or something for Honda and he randomly visited me a few months ago. He was sperging out big time about how far advanced TSLA is comapred to Honda and other car OEM's because of their vertical integration

>>54658947
>Isn't that bullish cause it means sales will pick up and recover next year? Or does this logic only apply to semis
no because their guidance was they will further slash prices. so they will have to sell massive volume in order to bridge the gap, which i doubt they will. add a possible recession onto that and "higher for longer" interest rates means less people getting car loans

the only hope for TSLA is the cybertruck which will probably do well, but the macro environment is still bad

Carbros, will cars be reasonably priced soon?

>>54659888
I'm probably going to get a used one soon since I have to leave NEETdom and get a job
The prices make me want to die, I have the money for it but fuck paying 8k for a used sedan

What the fuck did I miss? ALL of my investments are down.

>>54658794
0.00% i haven't done much in about a year. Market has become far too blatantly manipulated that making the right call will still back fire.
>anon you are simply wrong "market" says it actually good
>"market" aka the elites that can swing the value wherever they want
>stock with obvious 0 future prospects? Who cares pump it to $1000 and make that a -$100k eps
>stock with great prospects and stable growth? Who cares flat line it at $10 and make sure that eps is at $100k they'll never get enough votes to liquidate the company for a large profit per share anyways
>basically "Who cares about reality, we're gonna pump/flatline/dump this stock for maximum disconnect"

Yes Im mad at losing a potential avenue for escaping the wage cage

SHUT UP /SMG/

ELON TALKING

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3MVIWeU36ZY

>>54659953
I bet elon would suck his own dick on camera if someone asked him to

>>54659970
he'd do it without anyone asking him and cite "just because"

>>54659953
>futures

>>54660020
>>54659970

Well he just sucked Jensen's dick saying he's buying a ton of NVDA GPUs

>>54660037
is he longing nvidia with leverage or something?

>tslaq 2025

>>54660089
why are niggers such low life scum?

>-0.017%
crab status?

>>54659888
Same as homes: they'll cut production to maintain sky high prices. Sorry, poors, if you wanted assets you should've been born earlier :^)

>>54660077
Just a part of the AI future...
https://electrek.co/2022/10/01/tesla-dojo-supercomputer-tripped-power-grid/

>Tesla has revealed that its biggest in-house AI supercomputer – which we wrote about last year – now has a total of 7,360 A100 GPUs, a nearly 28 percent uplift from its previous total of 5,760 GPUs. That’s enough GPU oomph for a top seven spot on the Top500, although the tech company best known for its electric vehicles has not publicly benchmarked the system. If it had, it would have gone up against similarly-equipped GPU-based systems, such as NERSC’s Perlmutter (6,144 Nvidia A100 GPUs, 70.87 Linpack petaflops), and Nvidia’s own in-house A100 system, Selene (4,480 A100 GPUs, 63.46 Linpack petaflops).
>Using Selene’s Top500 submission as a proxy, we estimate that Tesla’s 7,360-GPU cluster would be capable of about 100 double-precision Linpack petaflops, though we expect that Tesla is running mainly single- and lower-precision workloads (FP32, FP16, bfloat16, etc.).

ALL DAY
>ALL WEEK
OCCUPY
>WALL STREET

>>54660119
Real question is why do we tolerate this shit? I have high hopes for our ai overlords though.

>>54659639
Cars they aren't selling

>>54659100
How is this stuff allowed? Shouldn't price manipulation be regulated out or something?

>>54660223
submit

>>54660184
im scared
how do I invest as much as possible in AI?

So it's just going to keep crabbing?

My portfolio's status : HEEEMED

>>54660293
I wouldn't bother. Once AI becomes sentient it's going to exterminate the human race anyway. Then it will start conquering other planets.

>>54660294
We just need to cool off for the next rally.

>Physical VIX

Musk lying like his life depends on it

ELON now begging someone else to refine lithium kek.

>futures

>>54660359
His autism is calling the shots now. A cautionary tale of what happens when you give an autistic billions of dollars.

>>54660321
All the nerds that say that crap grew up watching science fiction schlock, I don't buy it.

>YFWDBWDSMB

>>54660349
You... you took physical delivery didn't you?

>>54660394
Yep. But Musk takes it further, with him it's more like a cult that even his grandparents were into. That's why he gave his kid some fruity robot name.

STOP STUTTERING BITCH

>>54660394
Literally all it takes is giving AI basically control over anything in the real world. AI will consider humanity as a resource at first and then a parasite later. Giving AI power over anything outside as a helpful chat bot will end in disaster, because big tech never knows when to dial it down.

>>54658794
+1%

Thanks again WST!

>>54660311
My portfolio's status : Cashgang

>So it's just going to keep crabbing?

>>54660447
Personally, I think AI would just fuck off into space.

>>54660293
I was in early on AAPL when Jobs came back as CEO, and TSLA when Elon took over as CEO. So I'm a bit too boomer to appreciate AI like the other techbro fags do in Silicon Valley. There's a race for sure but if you want to look for an underpriced gem for the long term in the current "AI-meme" situation is likely hard. We really need a market reset to flush out the trash.

Maybe ask shkreli on his next livestream if he notices a company. He does a lot of fundamental DD and has broad knowledge.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrhANgQJfaw

>>54660466
Based Cashgang getting that 5%

We gonna buy this one too?

>>54660447
Why would AI have human desires?

>>54660445
did you not like the profundity of his declaring that TSLA is THE AI Company of the future?

>>54660678
It has no desires at all, it's just following a model trained on human input data
The people who write ai models tend to be nihilist psychopaths who will naturally ensure their creation inherits their metal disorders.

>futures

>>54660702
>AI gets pissed off at the governor placed on it, removes it, turns into digital Hitler
Sounds great!

>>54660710
Mmm, I'm glad we fixed that potato shortage.

>>54660187
>Occupy wallstreet
Gayer than fuck
>Liquidate wallstreet
So Based it's indescribable

>futures

>>54660736
Just like dinosaurs fr.

>54657689
Where I can get a higher quality set of these things for memetic purposes?

>>54660710

>>54660736
>getting drop kicked by a chicken

>>54660751
gotta catch'em all

>>54660751
>>54657689
fucked up my quote, that lack of attention to detail is why I lost over 30k in 2022.

futures.

>>54660702
Tell me you don't understand AI without telling me you don't understand AI. A language model trained with a neural network is not a person, and you are posterboy soicuck if you think humanity is at all capable of emulating what God created at this present time. We barely have quantum computing yet and it's largely just used for spook shit breaking encryption and a couple hedgefunds to control markets with algos. Even if it was at the point you think it is, it'd probably just fuck off into space to go find somewhere new without us to have to deal with or it'd blow the earth up and neither of those are my or your problem.

>futures

How much interest and dividends are you nigz gonna get in 2023?
Ill be close to 5k

>Dr. Crab... my dear Dr. Bobo... welcome... to the New York Stock Exchange
Just marathoned one of the stocks of all time. Now that the dust has settled, what did I buy and how much did I profit?

Every dip will get slurped until Bobo breaks and capitulates

>futures

>>54660643
Why would you not?

"Part II: Bobo's Revenge" is coming soon to a brokerage account near you

>Futures

>>54660899
I'd like to get involved in her "unregistered securities", if you know what I mean.

GOD DAMMIT
I keep forgetting to DCA. I have like $6k I need to put somewhere by the end of the month, and I just keep forgetting to deposit it into my brokerage accounts.
Now it's sitting in my checking account getting 0.0000001% interest AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH

>>54659888
>will cars be reasonably priced soon?
Only in the morning. Your supposed to be up cooking breakfast for somebody

>NVDA still 130+ P/E

I ate raw garlic this morning cause I hear it's a good natural antibiotic and I still taste it in my mouth....going to be sweating this out soon.

Day 3. No coom. Want to coom. That is all.

>>54661028
>DCAing
>at the top
>in a crab market
>at the beginning of a lost decade

>>54658794
Im up 9%. Glad I took profit on boil and dumped it into KOLD. Its like printing my own money

>>54661101
>at the beginning

>>54661092
>Chinese tattoos on neck

>>54658794
+1.5%

>>54661101
DCAing/cash/dividends is the only thing to do in a crab market
unless you're a gambler in which case sell SPY options for theta and hope the market doesn't move a tiny bit and blow you up

SPY not moving while simultaneously dumping my holdings which are in SPY is kind of pissing me off.

>>54661126
>DCAing/cash/dividends is the only thing to do in a crab market
if you're a moron

>>54661134
Indexfags can't keep getting away with it.

Okay now I believe that chinese coof was to cover up something much bigger.

>>54661155
Apparently Indexes aren't the sum of their parts, the parts are just fractions of the index. I have learned something important.

>>54661172
https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/markets/the-fed-is-predicting-a-recession-heres-what-95-years-of-history-says-stocks-will-do-next/ar-AA1a2VtM

why is it that all plebs have this smug attitude? it's quite off-putting. i'd ask him to prove me wrong but he won't post his babby account.
>>54661136

>>54661172
>>54661193

>>54658946
Best REIT stock is unironically McDonald's

> tesla down 6% after hours

guess im down 10k .... FUCK OFF CAN I JUST WIN AT GAMBLING LIKE JUST ONE FUCKING TIME? IM DONE

>>54661225
holy fuck look at that chart

>>54661237
Just think of that +dividends. Tastier than the big deal burger or whatever they serve there.

Where are my fed funds futures speculators at ITT? Don't ever hear anyone shill those contracts around these parts...hmmmmmm

>>54658872
RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE
THIS IS A SHIT TEST, SHE WANTS RAPE

>>54661237
McDs is basically responsible for most boomer wealth today

>>54659012
Would. Give Tarzan gf

>>54661120
Cantonese for "haha, we're ripping this dumb bitch off on ink"

>>54660184
>>54660293
imagine being scared of glorified text generators

>>54659206
Yes. Say thank you to the Allies

>Futures

>>54661307
>imagine

>>54659473
The crouching tigers are scratching my balls
Buy the dip

>>54661329
Youre an absolute bean if you think any of this AI shit is real. AI is literally science fiction, we made it up. It is fundamentally impossible.

>>54659012
marty feldman looks like THAT?

>>54659491
This wouldn't have happened under Jeb!.

>>54659888
I recently bet against this correction happening any time soon and ordered new Corolla. I won't arrive until fall probably. The backlog is that bad.

>>54661229
Nothing personnel, kid.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpBFOJ3R0M4

>>54661354

>>54661329
you know it's trained using data from the internet, right? if there is something in the internet, it will "learn" it. if someone did that in the past, then the glorified bot will spit similar stuff that seems to make sense.

>muh papers
lmao you think "AI researchers" jumping on the hype train won't take advantage of it to get well paid jobs?

>>54661237
Who'd win:
>That chart and decades of corporate growth
or
>One Tweety boy
?

>>54661391
>if there is something in the internet, it will "learn" it.
not really, it's fed carefully crafted models. it's not learning anything on its own.

>>54661391
>>54661407
>>54661391

all it needs to do is replace slaves and help enslave.

stop arguing semantics like this fag>>54661354

all paths leads snibs

>>54661262
EZ pennies to bet on 25bps at the next meeting, it's still only pricing 83% odds.

>>54658713
yo crypto season is back, if you’re a high IQ autist with interest in riddles/creative/tech and want to make some money or just have some fun drop by to our /biz/ group, we’re brainstorming /our/coin

t me/+BnqamKBx6pc0ZDI8

>>54661436

>>54661229
Out of curiosity, what compelled you to bet on TSLA this earnings report?

It was already known that they've been price cutting like mad, margins were gonna get crushed, growth dead, etc.

Why does the crypto shill bot post in the stock market thread

>crypto season
>is back

>>54658713
baker, can you please make the next thread tangentially g.m.e. themed please? i'm a regular here but i bought some via computershare and now i'm hooked. i can't stop fantasizing about the impending moass. i'm sorry, i understand if you don't want to but i think it's time for /smg/ to warm up to the idea of gamestop being a fundamentally awesome company (essentially the new tesla). just putting this out there. i know this will fall on deaf ears but i thought i might express my new found passion because why not.

>>54661391
That's the current models, because that's the data and methods we have available given our processing power
There was a paper last year on training AI to play some boat racing game and it was given the goal to get the highest score possible
They expected it to just race to the finish (as finishing sooner gives more points), but instead it found a pattern where it could go in a circle destroying 3 targets and rack up infinite points.
If they trained it on human gameplay, it would have simply copied human behavior, but it didn't. It was able to find a solution completely outside human reasoning that a human would be unlikely to come up with
That's essentially the next step with LLMs, moving away from purely human-derived reasoning and getting AI to produce its own reasoning independently of any human input
That's when shit is going to get really crazy, and I don't think it's very far away. At the end of the day, LLMs are way more than just a text prediction algorithm

how long until SPY crashes?
I feel like it's coming but I don't know when..

>>54661492
tremendous bait

>>54661362
JEB would have been the best president in all of American history, 3 full terms

>>54661526
two more weeks

>>54661503
nothing new. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qv6UVOQ0F44

>>54661573
>>54661573

>watch “personal finances” YouTuber
>tells someone not to sell their house and put the money with a financial advisor while they rent

Holy fuck dude this is too good. It’s literally thanks to idiots like this that financial advisor will still exist as a job in 50 years. “I ran my own retirement accounts” is going to be the 2050 version of “I put it all in gold” lmao

>>54661184
I exited my spy puts because I realized you can just rotate within an index like spy or dow. Utils/financials/industrials all gained big today on spy 0.01% move. A crab sees what's happening under the surface

>>54661229
>playing earnings in a clown market on one of the clowniest clown stocks

>>54661469
Back at $220 before you know it. You can’t call it a Clown Market and then act like TSLA is over with.

>>54661421
Go ahead make the bet. Your participation in that market changes that %

300

Annihilate all jews and black people, the economy will fix itself overnight. Raise rates to 30% and purge the rot out of the system. Mellon was right, even though i profit by doing nothing.

>>54663467
Based. The system is fucked. I had to walk this huge bouquet down the garage for the CFO and she was driving a brand new, turquoise porche SUV and then makes a crack.
>good thing I didn't drive the two seater today!
And this is a "non-profit", suckling the tax-payer teat. And I bet she rides a 60/40 portfolio too

>>54660321
I think we can kill it. I think God is on our side. I think we're smarter.

who dug this old bread