/biz/ - Business & Finance

i fuck bitches, male or female

I try to build relationships with senior management and high performers that will likely one day be senior management. Then i use those relationships to get ahead in the company

i take every opportunity to be subversive and insolent to my superiors because i think they often do stupid shit

i talk about how their decisions are bad to impressionable young employees and i try to have sex with as many of the women as i can

then i leave before any of this becomes apparent to my employers

>>54468514
based corporate monger

>>54466946
not great but I wonder I bet its not a lot different at any workplace

>>54468479
Sociopath? I had a coworker like this. The CEO, COO, and all the top sales guys and executives loved him. Meanwhile he was hell to work with, just a complete cunt.

I couldn't take it anymore and quit. I was going to complain about him (long list of shit from this guy), but I knew he was a sociopath and would just fuck my shit up even more.

Don't think he's doing too hot since I quit, since he can't take credit for my work anymore. But I remember on my last day he told me "I told <new guy>, if he has any ideas for how to implement/resolve X <big project/problem> than to pass it on to me and I'll get it approved since he's new and I have some sway around here"

The guy was absolutely fucking shameless.

>>54468450
she could 'mod' my little boy, if you know what i mean

>>54466946
Literally everyone in my shift hates me

>>54468514
Best way to have sex with the women? The only one that clearly wants my cock is the resident bi land whale and I'm not so sure about going for it

>>54468759
feel the same anon kun I tell myself it is because they are stressed lol

I'm one of the only straight dudes in a mostly female department. I walk a very fine line between avoiding being sexually harassed and avoiding a sexual harassment complaint because I said the wrong thing on the wrong day. Also nobody gives a shit about the quality of my work as long as I'm nice and friendly.

>>54466946
I’m cool with everyone in my department. everyone gets along but don’t really talk at all. It’s all men and we all just mind our own business and work. We all have our music loud, and the noise of the tools. So we wouldn’t really be able to hear each other anyway. And the noise keeps management out of our area. Pretty nice.

>>54468708
Not a sociopath, just an opportunist. I can’t stand people like the guy you described and generally go out of my way to avoid those types. I like to think that type of behaviour eventually catches up with you.

>>54466946
We struggle through awkward small talk while we wait for everyone to join the zoom meeting

I’m so glad I don’t have to bend to modern society. In the trades you can talk about… Anything you’d like. You can make racist jokes to a black persons face and they’ll laugh along with you. If you take everything everyone says about you personally you won’t make it very far. We had some tranny tinbashers come to site once and they referred to themselves as girls, my foreman corrected them, “tin guys.” I would off myself if I had to work in an office and go through diversity training and the likes…

>>54469320
We have a tranny at my workplace, despite it being a "diverse" large corporation people go out of their way to avoid interacting with it aside from the ultra liberal types

>>54466946
I hate everyone, especially the dumb bitch in HR.
I wfh by the way.

>>54466946

>>54468450
Faggot. You have a same sex attraction (homo-sexual attraction). Not an admirable characteristic to have. Not an admirable propensity to want to come into contact with the fecal matter of another man. You should be prepared to die before having to be in the proximity of another man's naked anus, buttocks, wiener, ect. Yet, you do it willingly. VERY dis-honorable.Just pointing this out because I noticed that there were many posts itt so far and not even one anon had called you a faggot queer, which is what you are. You should be stoned with stones.

>>54466946
>your social life
my what?

>>54468721
>she
lmao lol

>>54469654

I want to ask out this qt Venezuelan refugee at my workplace. She's an engineer who's been here seven months and has no friends, no boyfriend and no life outside work (basically me). I'm nervous about shitting where I eat though.

Everyone is my friend you don't get a choice in the matter

>>54469654
Fucking based. Gonna screenshot this to use on /lgbt/ board next time a tranny shoots up a school

>>54471601
>>54469654

>>54471006
Do it off the clock and keep a record of all communication

>>54468759
70% of people hate me, 25% are indifferent and 5% are obsessed with me, I have no clue why the 5% are. I've had other guys I work with go out of their way to try and hang out with me. It's borderline weird. I think it's because I'm above average in looks and have a dark/retarded sense of humor. I also smash below average pussy like a savant, kinda like OPs pic

>>54466946
to them I'm the weird guy who says crypto is the future, but in reality I'm the opposite, sometimes people like to hear what they want to hear, I only said once that I was investing in dextools and now they won't stop fucking with me about it

>>54468479
>>54468514
>>54468708
I feel like I'm a border line psychopath. Everyone loves me and I'm great at building relationships and demonstrating charisma. Thing is I don't give a shit about anyone other than my wife and kids and I just want to become richer and richer. Everyone is an exploit to me

Damn. What's with all the faggots?

>Never talk to anyone about my personal life
>Still find out I'm dating a client

You can't win

One of my coworkers ended up becoming one of my best friends and I got to smash my married supervisor

it's ight

>>54472077
Based family man

I just stared a new job (3rd day) and it’s so fucking hard to socialise. I have nothing to say to anyone and they have nothing to say to me cause all we do is work and go home. I’m used to just talking shit with my brothers but I can’t do that with strangers.

>>54472077
>one divorce away from meaninglessness
Good luck with that.

>>54466946
i'm the autist but chatting and playing games with girls feels nice so i just do that.

>>54469654
Astoundingly based.

>>54466946
I work as a dev, my entire team is indian, all are men. I barely talk to them because the culture gap is just too big and they sometimes switch to Hindi mid sentence and I can't follow. I only attend office once a week because of company mandates but no one else is usually there when I am and I get the feeling no one wants to turn up not even management. It's just bland, nothing to complain about but nothing exciting either.

>>54468450
Having a clocky face but wearing makeup and having girl hair is not boymoding

>>54472536
Divorce? Never. My wife is very submissive to me and hardly has a life outside of my family. Plus we are very in love
>>54472591
Playing games with girls is painful
>>54473098
If I was in this scenario I'd leave. I can only tolerate 2 hours max a week of jeets

>>54473650
>Playing games with girls is painful
dunno i find it to be a lot of fun but then again i'm probably an autist

>>54473098
>Watch YouTube lecture for crystallography (pretty niche)
>indian lecturerer with broken english
>welp i will try it because there are only a few recorded lectures on it
>After 5min barely understand any word
>realize he is switching between english and hindi all the time

What is their Problem?

>>54469654
/thread

>>54469654
Based beyond belief

>>54469654
My only critique with your beautiful post is the tautology at the end. However your message still rings true and you are unfathomably based.

>social life
>work place
what?

>>54468790
Because you unironically used "kun" I am now immediately assuming that your co-workers have every reason to hate you

Also, never trust anyone in your workplace, no matter how friendly they seem.
They aren't your friends and will run you through the dirt at the first opportunity if it benefits them. Many such cases.
Be courteous and nothing more.

>>54466946
I only strike up conversations with my co-workers if it's a topic related to one of my interests e.g., world/military history or ice hockey. I also only attend company events if there's free booze which I can use as pre-party before bailing and meeting up with my friends

>>54474198
I learned this the hard way.
Everybody talks, so I lie about details to neutral parties or people I dont like

>>54468708
You've got to physically scare these faggots in a one on one situation. I mean, really scare them by physically over powering them and whispering in their ear that you'll kill them

These corporate fags fall in line super quick when you can catch them one on one.

Also, make a complaint about them to HR and make it sexually inappropriate as if they touched you. If fired or terminated you can clean their house with a lawsuit claiming retaliation and inappropriate behavior.

>>54474966
Great point, I constantly tell lies and never give anyone any amount of factual detail, about anything.

>>54472077
>Everyone loves me
Dont worry, everyone at your workplace is faking it too

>>54469654
>came here to say based
>read (You)s first, half expecting faggots to ree
>everyone says based
>faith in humanity restored
holy based

>>54469654
Anon-sama...

>>54466946
If I am sociable or seem approachable people will bother me with every fucking little thing. If they are scared of me, think im weird, fat smelly and gay. They leave me alone. "omg I dont know password." I ignore them 20min goes by, "oh nvm anon I figured it out." Many such cases. The new employees are the worst offenders. I setup their pc and one of the first people they talk to . They then assume I am here to help with with everything they need at their new job. They quickly learn this is not the case. I'm not super autistic and I'd like to be nice to these people but it bites me in the ass every time if I am.

>picrel is closer to reality than you think

>>54474198
This is something you can only TRULY learn when going through it yourself.

I never completely trusted mgmt but gave them the benefit of the doubt.

I was the top performer, everyone loved me. Meet objectives, exceeded expectations, won awards. I was the go to goy in my dept.

But the moment a project goes wayside it's every man for themselves. Corpo fucks have no loyalty but to themselves and will throw anyone under the bus to save face.

To any anons there having a gut feeling about a situation or person. Go with your gut, it'll save you a ton of pain and misery.

>should of quit during the summer instead got fired so now I'm scrambling to find a new wage cage while bills stack up

>>54476531
Ain't that the truth. People would get complacent and dump their workload on you because "you already know how to do it fast"

Eventually you end up becoming the dept bitch but god forbid you say you're too busy then you get labeled as a non-team player.

God, I hate corpos but they pay is usually better than a smaller shop. I just want to be comfy dammit.

>>54469320
I worked construction for a decade. The stuff we talked and joked about on a daily basis would get me instantly fired from my current office job. I miss it. Letting women vote and work was a huge mistake

>>54476661
I change jobs every 2-3yrs lately, on average its every 1 year for my entire life. I've had over 30+jobs I am in my 30s. I make 6figs. Last year alone I had 3 jobs until I got the best paying one.

>>54476613
>should of quit
Should have*
Keep better records. In a just world you wouldn't need to do so, but in reality send out meeting minutes summarising decisions and pull together a timeline when it becomes clear the project is going sideways.
t. Have done this twice this year so far.
I've gone into exec level meetings armed with exactly who decided what and records of all original estimates. The second meeting was rougher because I was extremely busy in the lead up, had to use Teams chat logs.
That said, socially and politically I'm open with my thoughts, retarded hobbies, life milestones. People open up to me as a result of that and me being a very very straight shooter.
>Tl;dr keep paper trails if you're doing the right thing

>>54476758
Based and well played.
My first gig I stuck around too long at 3+ years making sub 30k.
2nd gig I doubled it at 60k, maybe 70k with corpo bonuses.

My plan is same to yours. Hop out every 2-3 years to get a bigger payout. I originally wanted to stick around my last gig till year 2 at a minimum but getting axed certainly derailed all my carefully laid out plans.

One thing my last manager told me is "people only do it for the money..."

I was speechless. Of course people do it for the fucking money. How the fuck am I supposed to pay bills and enjoy life? Higher up corpos honestly think wagies enjoy getting fucked over daily because it "gives us purpose"

>>54466946
I hate everyone I work with
>tfw I work alone

>>54476661
Just make it a priority call.
Articulate what you're doing and who you're under. Tell them you're happy to help if your manager believes it takes priority over your existing work, with the understanding that the original task's timelines are pushed as a result.
I'm getting the sense you're not cut out for this.

>>54466946
How would this work in Japan?

>>54476876
It was a painful lesson for sure and you're right.
This is mostly being naïve and too trusting of mgmt despite knowing better.

2 weeks before getting axed I had asked my manager if this is the end of line for me and he had reassured me my job is secured, we're back on track and I'll learn from this experience.

What a load of bullshit. Unceremoniously axed. No PIP, no official warning, nothing.

>>54466946
Honestly not that bad
There are a couple of dickheads i cant stand but i tend to just not interact with them if i dont have to but most of my coworkers are within a 5 year age range of me so we get along and actually grab one or two beers like twice a month cant complain

>>54466946
>What's your social life like in the work place?
I have no social life, my boss is literally a computer, I'm judged based on the numbers I produce, and I have no immediate coworkers. It kinda sucks but it's also kinda comfy

>>54476957
If you're early on, yeah it's all experience. You'll get there. I was lucky to find a pesimistic project manager that showed me the ropes when I got there. Where the dysfunctions were, the 'political' ones that liked to angle for more power. I've just worked my way up in the one corporation, now far away from the toxic hell hole departments. The biggest threat now is just wish jobs and incompetence, and for both, I protect myself with transparency, records and early escalation (at least to an official risks and issues register)

A lot of people throwing around the terms psychopath and sociopath in this thread. These types of people are a lot rarer than you think, you probably have never met one and you most certainly aren't one.

>>54477079
Thanks for the advice anon. My first boss was a chill laid back dude but didn't teach as much and the second was an intimidating workaholic.

I got an unfortunate taste of office politics and realized I'm just not cut out for the cutthroat games at that level.

>>54466946
Smalltalk, I work from home. I spent my lunches going on walks with my wife and little girl or watching old British comedies. I honestly don't know how I get away with never networking, but I'm a fixer and likeable.
The idea of spending my free time, unpaid time, with workmates disgusts me, but that's a me issue. I need to be able to be a silly nutbag off the clock. Also the city is gay and I don't go there recreationally.

>>54466946
>What's your social life like in the work place?

against policy. one's only allegiance should be to the corporate shareholder. banal small talk the only discourse. you'd only make trouble talking about your collective interests (which invariably means talking about politics), and you had better avoid any romantic interest, that would be sexual harassment. just shut up and work. we'll also have some of your money in exchange for stock, so you feel like you have some pitiful stake in this charade.

>>54477234
cont.

better not pay you enough for the whole family, we need your wife working too (but not here, that would be conflict of interest against the shareholder). i guess that leaves your kids without supervision, so we'll have to educate them on your behalf.

concerned? why would you be concerned at all about this? are you communist? a racist? out-right insane? one of the three, surely. pick your camp. but here, just take this injection first. we'd hate to see you catch a cold.

I operate my business as the sole employee and owner. I don't have a social work life besides occasionally having a drink with suppliers or clients.

I just need a young woman to suck my cock 1-2 times a day. Wish I could hire a personal assistant that could do that and bathe me in the mornings.

>>54466946
Based latina

>>54469654
thank you for saying what we're all thinking

fuck faggots

>>54477853
You can. Men did and do. You just need to talk to a legal team before you do. Be...graphic. You don't want to. You have class. But they need to hear it. You need an airtight contract with alot of *implying*. You shouldn't *imply* with her. If you want to know more let me know within 30 min. I will monitor. After that all I can say is, talk. Talk to your legal team. Never talk to anybody else about personal things.

>>54477853
consider spending some of your revenue to get your ribs removed so you can suck your own dick

im a neet with no skills or prospects, so i luckily avoid these problems

>>54472077
>Everyone loves me
chekd and kekd

>>54468450
I'd date him

>>54477087
You can have aspects of it, it's more common.
You're referring to the 100% psychotic which is really rare.

>>54466946
It's pretty alright. I pretend to be liberal to get along with my boss but my company is majority all the same type of guy: 20s or 30s techie who likes to drink and smoke weed. I think I'm the only bizfag type, though, no one else has worked in crypto before and they all seem like atheist nihilistic liberals.

We all work remote so mostly I just share neutral memes on Slack and go out drinking with coworkers when we see each other for off sites.

I actually got lucky and the team is mostly nice to me. Most are women too.
I try to interact with the ones I like at every opportunity. Chill, like minded people. But the pay isn't very good. I hope my next workplace will have good people as well.

None. Never trust anyone at work.

>>54466946
I'm there to make money, not friends. simple as. Don't talk to me unless it's work related. I don't care what you're doing on the weekend, I don't want you to know what I am doing on the weekend. I don't want to eat your disgusting food you bring in for the "potluck." If I'm not at work or being paid I do not want to spend any time with you people.

>>54466946
cute girl though

>>54468721
mode

>>54466946
Dan Pena said it best when he said he doesn't care if people like him so everyone loves him. That's how it is at work for me. I bring in extra produce I grow and give it away and give people my time and don't sugar coat anything and give my opinion on things. I don't want to be actual friends with anyone, though some would like to be friends with me. I'm not a social person but when forced to be around people the social mode gets engaged. Also I outwork everyone so there is respect/fear there.
t. Tradesman working in big warehouse

>>54466946
Quite fantastic. I'm officially making more than the average person in my area, I work from home all except 2 days a month, when I am in the office I spend most of the day gossiping and flirting, and after work those days I drink and hang out with everyone. Only way it could be better is if I made more.

>>54469654
Is this a fresh pasta?

>>54466946

I work with Boomers, ~45 min commute (love my work so justifies the long commute for now)

Pros: They are mature enough to not be total faggots about everything, if i need to take some time off work I get it, they're just happy I show up and pay me a decent wage w/ benefits

Cons: No women to look at, no friends to be made. There's one guy around my age and maybe we'd hang out if he lived near me but isn't really even worth it as he is squeakyclean normcore kind of guy and i'm edgy bizman w/ too much money to be working here.

>>54477853
>I just need a young woman to suck my cock 1-2 times a day. Wish I could hire a personal assistant that could do that and bathe me in the mornings.
Start an Onlyfans and hire a girl to make no-face content with while being your personal assistant

>>54473778
You spend 8-10 hours there, might as fucking well

>>54466946
If you work with any woman in a gynocentric work environment you are ngmi

>>54469320
>>54476693
Land surveyor here, same shit. I could never work with women

>>54478541
>I'm there to make money, not friends. simple as. Don't talk to me unless it's work related. I don't care what you're doing on the weekend, I don't want you to know what I am doing on the weekend. I don't want to eat your disgusting food you bring in for the "potluck." If I'm not at work or being paid I do not want to spend any time with you people.
foreveralone

Here's the best advice I can give.

ONLY befriend people in the company who DON'T work in your specific team. I'm talking people from other departments, groups etc. who you don't collaborate with at all. That way you know the friendship is genuine because it's not forced or work-related, and when you hang out, you don't just talk about work. Plus they can't impact or jeopardize your career.

The people in your team should be acquaintances and nothing more. Do not try to be friends with these people. Politely back away from anyone trying to be your friend. These people will throw you under the bus in an instant. When you quit, you'll never speak to them again and that's a beautiful thing.

>>54480246
Somewhat, I'm pretty sure I saw it on /fit/ a few days ago

>>54485184

>>54466946
i can literally talk about anything interest or not, it's a terrible gift.