/biz/ - Business & Finance

WOW another blog post

piss off faggot, figure it out like everyone else did

Walk up to the front desk. Ask to speak directly with upper management. Firm handshake. Maintain eye contact.

>>54126356
fag

>>54126345
Just lie dumbass,if they suspect, you lie even more,its how i did it

>>54126345
How are you defining "Entry level job"?

Are you walking in asking for the owners job; or are you talking about real entry-level; where you're low man on the totem poll for a year?

>>54126345
Just b urself bro

>>54126435
unironically this. I just got a pretty cool trucking job with just a CDL by just lying about my work history. Company wanted solid employment for x years. I literally just made up dates and slapped them on and got some buddies to cover as references.

Trucking's pretty sweet if you can stand being alone.

I’m in the same boat. Been filling out job applications for a year,I got lucky with a flyer job for a tax office but they barely gave me any hours. Like 3 hours one day a week type stuff. It’s over now too. These jobs want superstars for minimum wage.

>>54126547
Make a resume. Lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie and lie some more. Become so fucking good at lying that even you believe your own lies.

The world no longer functions from substance. It functions on looks and confidence.

>>54126345
At this point just buy bitcoin/eth and hope they moon and you can escape.

It’s all so tiresome. Careers are meme. Anyone who tells you otherwise is coping hard. Funny isn’t it, that the second the powerball was in the billions for the jackpot ever career wage cattle was off day dreaming about their new life, so much for a career eh?

>>54126345
>He doesn't meet all the listed requirements for an entry-level job
Sorry anon, you're just destined to fail.

>>54126345
You forgot
>application makes you type out everything thats on your resume
But seriously, just start lying on your resume. Thats what I've started doing and I'm getting offers/interviews all over

You literally just lie. Have a group of people that will lie for you. Go into the interview and lie more. You'll lie so much that you'll end up telling the truth.

None of these people care. It's all bullshit. Just find a place you can lay low while dumping every spare cent into investments. That's life now.

>>54126435
>Just lie on the HR Roastie-Briggs test
You morons are part of the problem. Stop supporting globohomo.

>>54126345
You do realize most “requirements” are just moonshot suggestions in most cases? And employers are subjected to the same urgency of supply/demand like you?
They expect a candidate to exaggerate in most aspects, so exaggerate about the most you can in a way that isn’t unbelievable. And if an employer is desperate enough, they’ll offer on-job training for a candidate just to have the role filled. Just depends on the field you’re interested in.

>>54126392
I did this before before i knew better.
I was told to fuck off 2 times by mangers and I was trespassed and escorted out by security waiting for a manager. The women manager basically got creeped out by me and thought i was gonna rape her or something even though i showed up looking presentable in a tie.

The "handshake" method only works for 8/10 looking or higher males that are brads or chads who don't need high effort


I hate being ugly

>>54126507
>>54126435
>>54126641
But what about background checks? I can see lying about your past roles but what about flat out saying you worked at places you didn't?

>>54126663
I’ve applied to tons of positions where I clearly meet the ‘moonshot’ suggestions on the qualifications description and don’t even get a screening phone call from a retarded hr roastie. The fact that I, with a professional degree and a genius level IQ, have to even interact with hr roasties who do literally 0 work is unacceptable

>>54126719
>*Ring ring ring* "Hello this is Goldberg Sheklestine calling about Good Goyim Steve Smith. Did he work at your company from 1999 to 2023 and was employee of the month every single month for his entire tenure?

>*Good Goyim's secret buddy:* "Why yes he did. Good Goyim is such a good Goyim! We were so sad to see him go. But he expressed his excitement to go and work for Goldberg Shekelstine incorporated.

>"Wow! Thank you! What a great guy!"

>Next day: "You're hired, Goyim!"

It's quite simple, really.

>>54126345
Well if it's open to the public, they don't know if you're a retard or a psychopath, so of course they set the bar high. If you meet some people at networking events and they like you, they can get you hired at their company and will get you pushed through the HR department's filter without any requirements, as long as it isn't something that legally requires qualifications.

>>54126719
With how impractical standards are these days, there's no reason not to lie. That's the name of the game and it's sad that we even got to this point, but what are we supposed to do when the roasties that do the hiring process have their heads so far up their ass they think a phd is paramount in order to fulfill a helpdesk position?

>>54126663
>employers are subjected to the same urgency of supply/demand like you
No they aren't, they'll happily leave a position open for 6+ months waiting for their dream candidate. They'd rather be shortstaffed for years on end instead of hiring somebody who isn't perfect. Jobs that are marked "urgently hiring" still go through the same bullshit of multiple rounds of interviews spread out over several weeks and gay little psychological tests as any other job posting.

>>54126345
be basic bitch for a year, edit your resume after hired for cashier/main burger flipper, then when evaluations come around they'll see your credentials and put you where you belong

>>54126356
kys

>>54126345
>Requires you to fill out an online application
>Requires you to submit a resume and CV even though it's literally the same things that appeared in the application
kek this one always get me. proof that recruiters don't give a fuck

Can't help all of these, but here's some:
>Requires you to fill out an online application
>Requires you to submit a resume and CV even though it's literally the same things that appeared in the application
Copy paste that shit. Your resume is in an easy format to copy-paste, right?
>Requires a cover letter
Find a cover letter template, and copy/edit for your specific job/skills. Keep the template, and modify the letter as needed for different jobs. It's rare a letter makes the difference, they juts want to check you can write and communicate without typing like a tard

>>54126392
I just realized “just talk to woman in public places and ask for their number” is the modern dating equivalent of “just give the boss a firm handshake bro”

>>54126345
Nepotism. It's why sociable people are generally more successful. I don't say this as if it's a bad thing, you should have a network of friends and family who can refer you to people and places. If you don't have that, things will obviously be more difficult.
>t. guy who got two friends hired at a DoD facility and is about to do the same again at Lockheed

>>54126922
holy cope. degrees are rarely required unless you're a socially awkward schizo retard

>>54126356
Why do you think these employers never find someone who's qualified for the job much less willing to put up with such a bullshit job like this? use your head for once. Also learn to filter through this and realize they're probably not a job worth working for

>>54126725
>The fact that I, with a professional degree and a genius level IQ, have to even interact with hr roasties who do literally 0 work is unacceptable
And this is precisely why you are ngmi. The fact that you understand this thoroughly separates you from the normies. Again, it SEPARATES you from them, which is not always a good thing especially when you're being screened by HR roasties. The true chad understands that said HR roasties are bored with their lives and desperate for any attention they can get. Turning on the charm and doing some light flirting during the initial phone screen can get you far as long as you can gauge where the line between charming and creepy is. I'm a fairly autistic software dev with a masters degree and also have a genius IQ, but I learned early on that brains are absolutely not everything when it comes to the job market. Sure, when you get into the office and begin your job you'll quickly get recognized as a rockstar by your bosses. But in order to get there, you have to get past Krystal the overweight HR roastie who realistically does fuckall but answer phones, bullshit with coworkers, and shred resumes every god damn day of her life. While you are not smooth brained enough to respect someone like her, you still have to be tactful enough to know that it is essential to get her attention and hold it for at least a few weeks. It sucks and it's incredibly stupid and obviously screens out some of the best potential candidates almost immediately, but it's how the world works and has always worked. Hate the game, not the player.

>>54126356
ITS CALLED BOARD CULTURE

THIS BOARD IS ALSO A BOARD ABOUT LIFE

BECAUSE MONEY IS ABOUT LIFE

MONEY IS EVERYTHING

MAYBE YOU'D KNOW THAT IF YOU HAD ANY

NIGGER

>>54126725
McDonalds is always hirin' nigga

>>54127856
People will doubt the wisdom in this, but my dad is a 5'5" manlet and has slayed pussy and talked himself into all kinds of opportunities through sheer charisma. Smiling and pretending to be interested is 90% of good conversational skills.

>>54127595
>It's rare a letter makes the difference
Kek I have literally never submitted a cover letter for a job before ChatGPT could write the thing for me. Still got jobs anyway but this AI shit makes life a lot easier to bullshit why I'm so excited to work for Shekelberg Corporation over Goldstein and Associates.

>>54126507
This is a lie every DOT job is required to pull your I9s to verify all jobs and dates of employment. No exceptions.

>>54126345
Best thing I ever did was work at a small business Anon. None of this bullshit, no HR, way better pay, no pyramid promotional structure.

>>54126345
here's the real hack
>start going to local church or (((synagogue)))
>pretend to be christian/jewish
>join volunteer/work parties whatever they have
>it'll just be a bunch of boomers
>they'll be interested in you because you're young and a good christian/jew
>after a couple weeks of volunteering/whatever mention you're looking for a job
>acquire job through nepotism
>if they like you and you're a lonely virgin (i'm assuming) they'll probably also try to set up a date with you and their daughter/granddaughter/niece
life isn't hard, you just haven't been taught how to play correctly.

>>54126392
Then cum in his wife's pussy.
They'll make you president overnight.

>>54126345
What are the financial implications of knowing that the jannies here are berserk enjoyers?

>>54126345
>Teach English in Vietnam
>Requirements
>Be white
>19 dollars an hour
You guys dont know what you are missing.

>>54128211
I hired losers like you in Hanoi. You fucking Tây balo losers are all the same. 1% actually capitalize their time in VN to finish degrees or build something meaningful. Most are unreliable, failures back home, hippies, or straight degenerate scumbags working a job with no future of advancement. Most don’t ever leave their little expat bubbles. You can’t even buy property in Vietnam. It’s a time sink. You’re gonna lose 5 years, and go home and be exactly where you were before you left.

Apply anyways. You really think these jobs can get the kind of person they're asking for?

A. Look at it as "I want to learn these things" (they'll turn you down if they really need the spanish part)
B. Its a way to turn people down easily. Like I hate to say it, but I guess its 4chan anyways, it's a way to prevent diversity hires they don't actually want. Or just anyone in particular if they don't want them. Loophole for fair hiring practices.

It's on a case by case basis. Some really need these things and some are in no way capable of getting ALL these things. Its about looking better than all the other mfs who apply.

Just... don't lie on the resume. Or at least be able to back it up even if you aren't 100% skilled in the thing you say you know. Every job requires you to learn how to do it, no one can train you on it perfectly, for every condition, before going into the job market.

What are they going to do blacklist you from the application process? If they did then fuck em. You need to eat.

I felt this as well, graduated last year, was on the job hunt since then. Applied over and over at this place I really wanted as they kept fucking advertising. Didn't hear anything back ever. Go to work at my minimum wage cage, meet an older dude there whos just started and make friends with him over 2-3 weeks. Turns out he's best friends with the manager of said place I wanted to work at. He says he'll have a chat to him. The VERY next day I got a call to call come in for an interview immediately. It was basically a 5 minute chat mostly about how I met his boomer friend, then he asked me when I could start.

Now I'm making legitimately 3x more than what I was 4 months ago. No personal growth, no bootstraps, I just knew someone who knew someone. It's a fucking clown world and while I am disgusted I had to sink that low to make it. I have indeed made it.

>>54126345
The job market is broken.

>>54128436
You sound awfully mad for someone that's supposed to be "living the good life" in Southeast Asia