/biz/ - Business & Finance

bump for hp lovecraft

respond to this post or Toby will be able to withdraw his funds today

this feels like a fake thread. where are all the people?
anyway who's ready for a reversion to the mean?
you do remember where the mean was, right anon?

>>54082229
>>54082169

Do you smell that?

that's fear.

Who is responsible for this bank run?

>>54082157
>Illusion is the only reality, and that substance is an impostor
sus sus sus

>

Open a 100x leverage short if you are so sure of market collapse in a hour.

>>54082157
How much worse is this going to make everything?

https://www.youtube.com/live/dLVbVqqsXF8?feature=share

This is Jewish.

SIVB, SNBY, and FRC were all components of the S& P 500. The index can now officially be called the Shit & Piss 497.

Today we go -5%
Check'em

Something is actually happening

>>54083951

Sorry, I haven't washed my scrot in weeks >_<

>>54083972
At least tree fiddy

Where is the bottom for Credit Sussy?

we are so beyond fucked if the fed pivots now

>>54084005
I didn't wash my penis since I had sex >12 hrs ago.

I need more pain

I thought I said last night not to dump oil this morning!

>>54084008
At the bottom of Da Nile

>>54084019
As long as you washed that boy hole its fine.

>>54083620
there has been almost no real tech innovation since the mid-late 2000s. 2010 was all bubbles and some AI reseach

>WTI in absolute free fall
wtf is going on, what is being priced in here?

so this might actually be happening huh

>>54083992
Who's the bitch?

>>54084008
$0

Which bank would you want to own right now?

>good morning sirs
>do the dutiful
>no redeem sir
>DO NOT REDEEM
>bastard benched mother of fuck stop redeem
-the last American president

Oilbros?

>>54084008
2008 was a real crisis, this is faggot west coasties getting put in their place.

the real banks (Swiss, London, NYC) are unimpacted. these are techjews overextending them selves and the bankjews will now perform the intra-jew smackdown on them for being retards. like a father beating his child.

>>54084056
BAC, invest in America.

>>54084010

Should have bought gold stocks

>>54084026
Banks collapse imminent. Oil is no longer needed by civilization.

>Hey, Jim, Anon from /biz here, Boooya! Jim I was just wondering what you think about SOXL? SOXL makes up about 50% of my portfolio.
Thanks for the call Anon! Now SOXL is a wonderful company and I am good friends woth David Soxl. I see SOXL as a sure thing Anon! Not only should you hold you should!
>BUY BUY BUY
Alright next caller.

>Booooya Jim! Hey Jim what do you think of Aqua Bounty-

Will there be a bubble due to manipulation or will it just crash within the next month?

>>54084023
Powell kicked the can just a little bit longer for Silicon Valley to make payroll this week. New banks won’t take any of them as customers though if they believe they’ll be destroyed by them in a bank run. The big four definitely won’t touch them

>yields
>DXY
>stocks
>all dropping at once
This actually is it, isn't it?

>train LLM on jim kramer
>ask it for opionions on stock
>do reverse
>infinite free money

>>54084056
Ally, no branches, no redeeming

>>54084073

>>54084063
At least oil bros arent going bankrupt, unlike the financial jews

I shorted oil with a x15 leverage at $80. Oil princesses on suicide watch

>>54084056
Howdy

Wells Fargo anyone?

>>54082157
Not worried at all. This isn't another 2008. 2023 will be a year of profoundly overhyped fears and ultimately an underdwhelming recession that ends q2 2024.

Sorry, bobros. You can still short the year but you're not getting rich off it

>>54084070
I guess you are right. We have to set that money aside for more important things like shiny new GPUs.

Oil is going back to $50 fr no cap

>>54084084
Is the Fed gobbling 10Y on the downlow, or are people actually rushing to buy? That's what I'd like to know.

>>54084056
Howdy
Probably a blood bank at this point

Remember when I shilled nibbling some TMF Friday? Remember the flight to safety?

TMF is up 9% premarket and now the analysts are saying no rate rise. My calls finna 10x

Im worried my dad is going to get laid off he works for one of the banks being posted about a lot

Futures were up almost 2% last night, what gives?

You better hope this crash is “the one” because the 2 year yield has loosened monetary policy to the extent of erasing the last 8 weeks of interest rate rises. Market is basically pricing in CUTS from here. God help it if CPI comes in hot tomorrow. -5% to -10% to +5%. Absolutely unprecedented bond market volatility. Not even during COVID we’re bonds trading like literal shitcoins. This is so fucked

>>54084151

Oi vey

>>54084048
topzozzle oil baggies

>>54084131
If rates are getting cut then I can see people rushing into long-term t-notes to lock in stable profit over those years.

>>54084010
Inflation would cum to the moon, i hope they're not that retarded.

>>54084152
>

>>54084155
They aren't pricing in cuts they are abandoning stocks for bonds retard

Is it the happening?

What the fuck is going on with bonds?

>>54084152
The market is being a bit more complicated than "things are fine let's go up" or "things are bad let's go down" right now.

Comparing this to 2008 is so fucking disingenuous I kind of can't believe that's the mainstream narrative, but of course they would be saying the most retarded thing possible.

Reminder that Fed has an emergency meeting today.
https://www.federalreserve.gov/aboutthefed/boardmeetings/20230313closed.htm

>>54084145
I have been shilling TMF since the day it hit 7.40 when interest rates double topped and the regional banks started giving trouble

>>54084201
People finally realized 5% yield in bonds is better than -20% in the stock market

Hang my head
Drown my fear
Till you all just disappear

*gasp*

BLACK HOLE SWAN
WON'T YOU COME
AND WASH AWAY THE RAIN?
BLACK HOLE SWAN
WON'T YOU COME
WON'T YOU COME
WON'T YOU COME

>>54084204
2008 wasnt a single instant dump, might as well develop into it

>>54084201
Flight to safety, do you really not understand flight to safety trades? Retards want something safer than keeping their cash in the bank or equities, so they buy gold, silver, buttcoin (lmao...) and bonds.

>>54084204
You sound vaccinated.

>>54084204
wait a minute anon, you're telling me liquidity issues =/= subprime loans?

is this real

>VIX up 30%

>>54084225
buying bonds is what killed SVB

Boomer rocks are laughing at us.

>>54084192

Are you retarded or is this post ironic? The two year yield is down 10%. The 30 year is down 4%

>>54084117
>ticker WFC
>World Financial Crisis
It was written on the walls.

GIVE ME YOUR MONEY GOYIM

>>54084204
They aren't comparing it to 2008, in fact they are specifically saying "this is not 2008", which is why it is.

>>54084246
Because they bought them too early and didn't want to hold them to maturity so they could somehow deliver higher yields.

>>54084233
I know, it's hard to understand but I'm sure all these doomer faggots will figure it out eventually

why would equity of all things drop

>>54084264
It's not 2008 because this time there is no money for a bailout.. rofl

>>54084268
They did want to hold them, but had to sell them so they had cash to pay tech trannies withdrawing their money.

>>bank fails
>>inflation
>>rising ((interest))
so what sectors do you buy in a situation like this?

>>54084264
Closer to 1922 than 2008, but nobody ever gives a fuck about history or studying it which is why it always rhymes if not repeats. So to package the message for the cattle you just pick the most recent catastrophe in living history and go with that one.

>>54084284
Also, we're starting from a position of low rates + inflated central bank balance sheets.

Check Catalog. Looks like mods bought puts too.

>>54084292
the winner is china but (((westernerns))) cannot invest

>>54084259
The yields go down when people buy them retard

>>54084264
Bro go look at articles trying to explain why oil is taking a fat shit. "The collapse of SVB, THE BIGGEST SINCE 2008...." It's all just sensationalist trash. Yeah, a shit tier venture capital regional bank from California dying is why oil is down. Lmao.

>>54084292
Boomer stocks like Heinz, Coca-Cola, McDonalds, etc.

>>54084292
not oil

>>54084219
Based Soundgardenfag

>>54084284
>>54084264
>muh 2008

Yeah I remember when the market completely heckin collapsed in 2008, it was truly the end of the world.

>>54084287
Either way that's not your problem if you put your cash in 2Y bonds right now, the only problem is that you'd be securing a worse yield that a few days ago or a few days/weeks from now.

>>54084090
Fuck, that's actually a brilliant idea.

>>54084306

>nothing is happening at all except that shorts are getting rekt by a retard-tier pump
>/biz/ changed to LE SPOOKY END OF THE WORLD background that makes it hard to browse
Yeah cool thanks.

WTHWT?

>futes

>>54084056
Howdy

I picked a good day to wake up at 2AM

>>54084292
TLT or SQQQ. Maybe a gold or silver etf

I'm still heavy BOIL even if America collapses we need natural gas

KOF and GDXU


Simple as

>>54084346
>browse
>he doesn't just go straight to >>>/biz/smg and never looks at the catalogue
ngmi

>>54084341
Yknow they have an ETF that shorts Jim now? Ticker: SJIM.

>>54084220
i thought i'd be higher up desu...

I said I'll ride with ZIM if it can get me to the border, the sheriff's after me for what I did to his daughter

>>54084325
I'm actually looking at buying oil soon since you guys are bear posting it

Can somebody redpill me on this stock widget? Is it automated or does some poo pick and choose what info to broadcast to 2 billion people

>>54084219
BOILing neets
SOXS stench
Neethe the rates the bull looks dead
Heaven send
Hell away
No one sings like you anymore

>>54084359
Everyone did. It's a solar plasma field that split polarity. Check NOAA if you disbelieve.
Good day to be in a basement.

>>54084337
2008 literally killed modern western civilization and the QE has been keeping up the Weekend At Bernie's since then. Everything has gotten unbelievably degenerate, corrupt and broken by now and there's no fix in sight.

>>54084367
I like the pepes. But I guess there aren't really any super secret crypto or stock threads anymore. /biz/ 2020 was more fun 2bdesu.

This is the bottom, Biden/FED pump incoming

Reminder to buy your rope at HD early before all the good ones are sold out

https://youtu.be/xHa6a3FtPJg

>>54084259
You will learn that the Fed follows the 2 year, not the other way around.

>>54084399
Checked, and post link.

>>54084310

Why is the front end dumping relative to the back end of it was entirely a flight to safety? Why wouldn’t duration lead? It’s almost as if the front end was pumped by the fed and is now deflating as hike expectations fade.

2 year: -11%
10 year: -7%
30 year: -4%

Don’t worry, it’s a rhetorical question. You’re 19 years old and your knowledge of bonds comes from Wikipedia or movies. Just don’t respond to me again. “Buying bonds makes yields go down” LMAO no shit Einstein, holy shit lol

>>54084284

>>54084219
Pure coincidence the ch1nk movie won all le oscars last night? Title?
>everything
>everywhere
>all
>at
>once
WW3 gun salvo?

>>54084385
Should be a personalized algo result, depending on how much you allow them to. Otherwise it just shows you the major Indices.

Im going to bank of america and demanding they lower my mortgage premium since I havent signed yet on a refinance

>>54082157
Why isn't the stock market up yet?

REEEE

I'm dying again
I'm going under (going under)
Drowning in you (drowning in you)
I'm falling forever (falling forever)
I've got to break through
So go on and scream, scream at me
I'm so far away (so far away)
I won't be broken again (again)
I've got to breathe
I can't keep going under

>>54084279
bank failures/runs are a sign we're very close and or entering a recession. recessions are typically not a good thing for equities.

>wheres the money going!!!
bonds

>>54084443
that was actually a really good movie. Best one I've seen in a while. Saw it months ago and showed some friends and they all liked it too.

>>54084418

That’s my point, the market is pricing in cuts from terminal FF. Or telling Jerome that he must cut. So if inflation isn’t 100% quelled, this’ll be a problem

Yesterday you faggots told me SQQQ wasn't going to pump

These finance media articles are ridiculous. "AS THE GLOBE STRUGGLES TO CONTAIN THE FALLOUT FROM THE COLLAPSE OF SVB...."

Seriously what the fuck is the global fallout of a shit tier regional bank in California failing?? Genuinely absurd to imply that this is somehow THE BIG ONE holy shit

>VIX tapping on 30

>>54084435
Who the fuck wants to buy 30 year bonds? Will be fucking dead before they mature

i respect rick the bond guy on cnbc alot more after ripping into these svb guys

>>54084385
It's a bit like this:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQSY98g1sA4

markets are looking pretty healthy. deposits are getting paid, rate hikes are stopping. fed is officially pivoting and probably cutting by end of year. jobs and consumer spending is still healthy. I don't see the bad news here folks. A couple speed bumps and the doom preppers go wild. Today will be hockey stick up after biden speaks. The only downside is prices will be a bit high but so what. Economy is strong and if you want to make money just get in the game and stop crying.

>>54084459
how many bonds are available to buy
and if us bonds are so high why aren't people pulling from foreign markets into the US
the EU markets are fine

>>54084429
https://www.swpc.noaa.gov/content/space-weather-enthusiasts-dashboard
3-DAY SATELLITE ENVIRONMENT chart. I misnamed, it's the Solar Proton.
This sort of thing normally predates a large quake, or heavy weather change, imo.
Also, if you're a usual over there, check out the current D Region Xray. Off the charts energy changes at that range.

>Non-deposit investment products NOT FDIC INSURED/NO BANK GUARANTEE/MAY LOSE VALUE.
If TD Ameritrade collapses, will daddy Powell replace the cash in my account with freshly printed money?

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

>>54084465
>Ahhh my daughter is a dyke
>WHOA wacky shit is happening
>hahahaha kung fu
I bet you clapped, didn't you?

>>54084499
>fed is officially pivoting

>a template for human consciousness

Goin long TSLA here
It will be a green day

>>54084486
>fastest pace of rate hikes ever
>bonds bought before 2022 ate shit
>thinking this is uniquely a SVB problem

>>54084505
Very nice. Let's see Jane Allen's make-up routine.

>>54084506
permabulls in a bear market are funny. Trained their brain to buy every dip and are still smug about being wrong.

I will only be happy as soon as I see the literal blood flow through the streets.
Dont stop until every single bank has collapsed

>>54084478
The market is pricing a stock market collapse. Powell isn't turning this train around with the magic word 'pivot'. No one will believe the Fed anymore. Inflation is no longer the problem, its deflation. Just my opinion.

>futes flipping

>>54084486
You are actually retarded

>>54084522
Yes - it's the same thing that happened to UK Pension funds a few months ago, before the BoE stepped in.

What do I quietly slurp that nobody's paying attention to while everyone's panicking?

>>54084522
not all banks have diversity hire planning a pride parade as their risk manager

Oh boy, Monday again. Can't wait to check the state of the market after sleeping through the whole weekend!

>>54084520
lol. lmao.

>>54084522
This

Ah well, pivot euphoria slurpers are entertaining.

>>54084505
Why are these stupid fucking videos always just thots eating? There was absolutely no substance to that video whatsoever

>>54084499
>inflation is hot and increasing/out of control
>fed forced to pivot because the machine broke before they could fix inflation
>president is shilling holding bags

Stop taking your ssris and benzos. They make your brain retarded

> SJIM

>>54084549
Oil

VIX 30
VIX 3>0
VIX >30
VI>X 30
V>IX 30
>VIX 30
it's been a long time

Whomever recommended ASO you are a God. I wish I held this. I had so many chances to buy in the 20s and 30s and I ended up selling it way too quickly.

>>54084499
Lel after the fed pivoted in 2002 and 2007 it took two years to reach stock market lows

>Bears by end of day when we end green.

https://youtu.be/CP6GbPBUVnk

>>54084549
Whoever manufactures toilet paper. No cap.

>>54084550
>not all banks have diversity hire planning a pride parade as their risk manager
This needs to be on blast. Some of these other banks may be struggling, but this shit was 100% predictable.

Ayn Rand wins again.

>>54084390
>>54084219
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6uqTWHzHvo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AwdjreJKggg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRJ2V2lUb5Q
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgaRVvAKoqQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPGiOyXV_x4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4neXNZyChkY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmpRLQZkTb8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcHKOC64KnE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbiX0_ZTews&list=RDVbiX0_ZTews&start_radio=1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4IJI6soiQhI

>the 90s playlist for AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

My shorts are printing

>>54084578
I bought it and got like double. But I have no idea what the company even is so I only made like $60

>>54084565
> Slurping oil before the recession

WHICH ONE OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS TOLD ME THE VIX DOESNT MATTER ANYMORE

>>54084499
I'm pivoooooting

>>54084590
>no https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIUAC03YMlA

>>54084520
You know what
I will go long on tesla
in about 3.5 months when the market has had a good opportunity to violently shit the bed and reach a new low. Because TSLA will double from 90 dollars to 190 dollars from june to august

surely my WFC puts will print and i wont get homeless

Uhmmmm, who is redeeming the qqq?

can anyone explain why Bitcoin is still up?

>he bought the dip while the 3 month was on the fall
Mumu, listen to mommy real closely. There are reasons why we call you mumutards. Can you understand?
https://youtu.be/h-z9A1-O4oI

>>54084602
it was as long as Amerislurps were Amerislurping and not panicking. Now they don't even trust cash in the bank anymore.

What in the fuck happened since last night? I only have $30,000 of SPY puts and I wanted to make it $50,000 before the dump.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

sucker's dump. just wait until biden speaks this morning. This is gonna be one hell of fake out. ending day +3.5% on QQQ

>>54084594
It's gonna be a good day

Generates Strong Full Year Results: Revenue of $12.56 Billion, Net Income of $4.63 Billion, Adjusted EBITDA1 of $7.54 Billion, and Adjusted EBIT1 of $6.15 Billion

Full Year 2023 Guidance: Expect to Generate Adjusted EBITDA of $1.8-$2.2 Billion and Adjusted EBIT of $100-$500 Million2

Declared Q4 2022 Dividend of Approximately $769 Million, or $6.40 per Share, Representing, Together with Previous Distributions Made on Account of 2022, Approximately 44% of the Full Year 2022 Net Income

HAIFA, Israel, March 13, 2023

IT'S LITERALLY NOT STOPPING WHAT THE FUCK

>>54084629
Flight to hedge USD, hence gold / silver / bonds.

What is bobos endgame? does he know that if he crashes the markets there will be no more markets?

Who is going to be todays casulty?

>50 CENT
50 CENT
>50 CENT
50 CENT
>50 CENT
50 CENT
>50 CENT
50 CENT
>50 CENT
50 CENT
>50 CENT
50 CENT
>50 CENT
50 CENT
>50 CENT
50 CENT
>50 CENT
50 CENT
>50 CENT
50 CENT
>50 CENT
50 CENT
>50 CENT
50 CENT
>50 CENT
50 CENT
>50 CENT
50 CENT

>>54084602
Stink and pee to 5000, trust the plan :)

>>54084643
BUDDY LOOK AT FTSE100 COMPUTER

>>54084629
Flight to """safety""" (never underestimate cryptotard retardation)

>>54084650
>tfw my ARKK shorts will finally make me some money

>>54084618
I bought those too. Looks like they tried a bail in on Friday. Wouldnt be surprised if they got bankrunned.

wtf is happening, it was supposed to be OUT TURN

>>54084639
More banks closed.

YOU BLOODY BITCH STOP REDEEMING

>>54084505
>want to make sik gainz from panic
>brokerage account is TD

It's time.

>>54084145
Somebody fudded me on that too lol

Its called a bear trap

>>54084151
You and your dad are faggots.

Go back up.

>>54084629
final pump to draw in exit liquidity

it was up 8% last night on nearly zero volume lmao

>>54084689

too much euphoria. I've seen it before

>>54084643
>rambles about transgender kids needing hormones
>shits his pants
>stutters a bunch
>zones out with blank zombie stare
>Jewish tard wranglers show him how to exit stage

>>54084689
It's a bear world now.

>>54084689
Oh god im trapped in profits, what am i gonna dooooo

Mumus got too cocky yesterday. They were already celebrating after a pitiful +1% .... if they only knew how bad things really are

https://youtu.be/ARR51SFcm5Y

>>54084689

No STOP please it literally can't be a red day. I bought a ton of calls on the fake Friday dip holy shit please reverse

>>54084718
Close now or suffer

How does it go from 1.5% green futures up to 1% down?

Nothing was announced...only the good news in the morning

>>54084728
:)

>>54084728
>Options gambloooooor
The sooner you all lose everything, the better really.

wow its a crash day. also what the fuck is that thing on the thread listing that made everything unreadable?

>>54084734
Small craps were up almost 4% in futas

It’s fucking over

>WAL -66%
lmao

>>54084679
Which banks?

Last night we were up 2% after learning about

SVB
SIGNATURE
SILVERGATE

who else is closing?

>>54084734
Banks are literally -50% in premarket wtf good news

>Fed pause
I predicted it in January.
25 50 75 75 75 75 50 25 ZERO
It had to be messy but with the surgical strike on SVB, the "lagging effects" hit exactly where they are most beneficial, at the center of silliness.
An hour ago the probability was 29%, now it is already the most likely.

>>54084734
Either dumbass or troll

>FRC -61%
>PACW -44%
>WAL -66%

Another 3 banks going down?

ACK!

>>54084764
Banks arent even open yet. Frc and wal racing to see which one collapses first.

vix is gonna top at 30 and we're gonna get a nice face ripper to gape all the euphoric bobo's in here

lol

where can i go to watch the 5 second candles of the dow like i used to for crypto

>>54084734
Futures have done 180's plenty of times, it's not that rare.

>>54084773
JUST those ones.
but I went to bed early lol

I have a small conservative portfolio of 50% TQQQ 50% TSLA

>HSBC Computer
It's spreading isn't it.

Can't fucking see shit on this fucking website

>>54084781
Post your TMF position Mr "I predicted it". I already screenshotted my 60 TMF calls

>>54084775
There is only 1 bank that matters: JPM. Everything else is just startups waiting to be merged into JPM

>>54084734
>How does it go from 1.5% green futures up to 1% down?
Panic and uncertainty. It will do the opposite just as easily too though.

>jews forgot to make the C suite immune from ESG scores
lol

CPI tomorrow.

>>54084775
Mumu will learn today.

>>54084710
you gotta let em go. let em get it out of their system. keep the edges, keep the rudder. other than that, they'll get tired of it in a few weeks.

>>54084796

Biggest two day bond move since the 1987 crash. Don’t see how this isn’t the 45 VIX event

>>54082157
>1pbtid
fuck this shill thread bullshit

>>54084797
fucking chaos, I bet Powell genuinely has no idea wtf to do beyond hiking 25 bps

>It's an emergency stop episode.

Let’s go.

>ZION
>down 23%

kek

aww man, time to sell.
https://twitter.com/CNBC/status/1635252513946615808

>banks collapsed
How many days has it been stuck at two now? Nothing is going to happen im going back to sleep.
T. G

Yep a bear trap is truly the best time to buy

>>54084833
good luck withdrawing the gains from your shorts retard

>>54084734
Hi Boris, you're watching FUTURES, that don't mean shit.

Let Joe know what?

>>54084809.
HSBC is acquiring SVB's UK assets.
>for a price of 1 GBP kek

I have a feeling that if VIX stays flat then futures will slowly rise to price in the VIX spike not disappearing right away

Mpw is sub $9 and I didnt short the gaynigger pump to 13.

>>54084875
And liabilities.

>>54084861
>g-g-good luck withdrawing your gains
Jesus mumu is just getting embarrassing

If Joe says "bankrun" it's officially homer.

>>54084815
>Post your TMF position Mr "I predicted it". I already screenshotted my 60 TMF calls
Sorry not a slave of the forums so not screenshotting anything.
Do you by chance have a screenshot of your better, alternative prediction?

>CATHIE WOOD: FED CONTINUES TO FOCUS ON LAGGING INDICATORS
Can Cathie Wood just stfu?

Mumu sisters: We won. :^)

>>54084794
probably nothing

>>54084911
I literally shilled TMF 1 day before the pivot. I am a God. Best trader on /smg/. Easy 10x

>Cramer shills yet another failing bank that dumps over 50%
Lmfao who the hell is listening to this guy anymore? He's a complete moron.

>>54084918
This bear market ends when she gets sent to the nunnery. Stock market gonna crash during women's history month

Dark Brandon needs to deliver a 10/10 speech right now.

>>54084918
>catherine woods

LOL
LMAO, EVEN

>>54084127
If I held my (short)positions one hour longer I wouldn't have made 500 Euros but 2500 EUros,FFS. I GOT FUCKIN TRICKED.

Check the DAX index
The sp500 will get raped on opening

IT BEGINS

>>54084973
There is literally not one reason to be bullish right now. Not one. Why the fuck would you sell your shorts

>VIX 35%
VIX 35%
>VIX 35%
VIX 35%
>VIX 35%
VIX 35%
>VIX 35%
VIX 35%
>VIX 35%
VIX 35%
>VIX 35%
VIX 35%
>VIX 35%
VIX 35%
>VIX 35%
VIX 35%
>VIX 35%
VIX 35%

>Futures

Joe is speaking!

why the fuck is everything going down except GOLD?

>The president goes live 30 minutes before markets open
lol we are going to fucking PUMP

>>54084728
same

So, uh, what the fuck is happening? We were blood green last night.

And please, speak as you might to a small child or golden retriever. It wasn't brains that brought me to /smg/, I can assure you of that.

>>54085006

This is the end

>>54084999
Because I thought this bullshit banks crisis was "solved" or at least calmed down, but no EU crashed harder today than US. EU stock market is full retard. You can't predict it at all. Because the US is pumping and dumping it

>investors not protected
OH FUCK!

>fired
oh no no

>>54084505
If women don’t rub the 7 plus amount of chemicals on their head, do they turn into haggard witches? Where’s her man? What a life

>>54084969
>Take advantage?

>>54085004
Whats mumbles malarkey saying?

>>54084999
And I'm not bullish, I simply expected some trading in the early EU session, but no, they turned it into gigadump on US banks bullshit.

>>54085020
I'll say the same thing I said in the thread last night
>fakest and gayest exit pump in the history of the stock market

Buy the biden bump

I'm just gonna try paper trading for a while.

>Fired
>Hired by a competing bank

>>54084964
>disturbed jeet keeps creep porn on his system
you're a sicko, Rash

>>54085046
everything's ok and things that aren't ok are brumpf's fault

It looks like it's painful for him to exist. How are they keeping him alive?

Aight, Imma head out.

>>54085025
I bet you got triple vaxxed. Stop trusting the government you fucking idiot

Biden: Lol, bye

>no questions
up we go!

biden bros wtf was that speech we can't pump off that?!!!?

>happening cancelled

>>54085025
The EU wasn't open after Friday's US dump, they didn't have time to catch up till this morning. More of that Pajeet engineering mind. Can't into rotation.

>People are unsure of the markets strength!
>Quick repair their view on it
>Bring out Biden for speech
>????
>Profit

> wake up in Burgerlandia
> about to take cold shower then get my morning Big Mac
> “let’s check my favorite thread to see if any yuropoors posted some cute anime girls”
You have one job yuropoors and you failed at it
>>54084859
You are the exception, yurochad

>>54085077
EVERYTHING IS FINE

>>54085083

I like that wall street doesn't give a shit what Biden says.

Futures are pumping

>>54085089
The guy just left while they were asking questions. Fuck me, he looked like a dementia patient leaving a old folk's home the way he waffled out.

dude lasted a whole 60 seconds. Now thats a man with a plan.

What is VIX?
Sorry for the retarded question

>>54085124
this is categorically NOT the time for anime pussy

>>54085159
inverse $JEW

>>54085142
Wait. Its over? Thats full malarkey. We crash today.

>>54085088
>I bet you got triple vaxxed.
No, not even once. I simply didn't expect EU to DUMP this hard on US bullshit. What's your problem understanding that? One fuckin hour fucked me completely. I don't know now if to short from WAY worse positions or wait it out. US will probably pump it now, so I'll wait. Goal for DAX is 14500-14000, but a fuckin 15330-14850 in hour isn't something you expect on an EU session. I wouldn't even have thought EU has this much strength to dump it this hard

BOIL just went up 6%? Lmao

>You can breathe easier
>I CAN'T BREEF!
>You can breathe easier
>I CAN'T BREEF!
Stop being rassys Joe!

>President has emergency briefing on state of economic disaster
>Answers no questions and fucks off after reading prepared remarks

What the actual fuck...

PPT pumping that shit speech. Sad!

>>54085184
its over

>>54085105
DAX dumped too after closing, it moved like the US.

>>54085170
i swear she has, like, twice as many teeth as the average human.

>>54085080
The CIAs concoction probably puts him in a state of constant unyielding sexual arousal and wont let him cum until the press lid is called for the day and he sleeps for 14 hours.

>>54085124
Sorry, we had to panic sell bank shares

>>54085159
volatility index
essentially a measure of how wacky the next trading day will be

>>54085184
He put people’s minds at ease. It was a good speech. Futures are healing

>>54085165
You’re right, my cold water is still running, you yuropoors have 13 minutes to stop fretting about the happening and post cute anime girls

>>54085184
isn't that a normal biden speech

>this was all trumps fault

Fuck this bullshit why the fuck did people put that orange buffoon into office he has ruined this country.

>>54085222
>muh previous administration
orange man bad unironically fixes all economies

>>54085232
>>54085184
Gotta go fast, to california. Didn't you listen to him at the start?

Is America's rabbai speaking or what?

>>54085184
Buts that’s normal for him

Bake it, bull-cucks

>>54085262
No he read a teleprompter for 60 seconds, said "god bless our troops" then shuffled out.

WHERE'S THE NEW THREAD

>>54085241
Please kys no one is buying it.

New
>>54085311
>>54085311
>>54085311

BOIL
BOIL
B
O
I
L

>>54084764
Holy fuck

>>54085304
>"god bless our troops"
Right... that code for this about to start another 20 fucking year war?

>>54085159
Volatility IndeX. it tries to measure 30d market volatility by looking at the price changes in 23-37 day options. problem with it is that these days there's more activity in very short term (0-1d) options
>>54085227
i'm a west coast burgermutt tho, my day of fretting has only begun

>>54085327
who cares about natty gas rn

>>54084764
oh shit oh fuck

>>54085184
elections are too soon to say something incriminating. his handlers know better.

>>54085206
Kek