/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>53669544
Having a bowel movement isn't a violation of anything. People will forget because they can relate. If you need to go then go. My God this board can be so autistic, you're not in kindergarten where your need permission.

one time at work I was holding in a massive liquid shit for over 4 hours.
by the end of it I thought I was about to die but the release was orgasmic.

>>53669544
Put 10 layers of tp on the toilet seat

>>53669602
Retard. The issue is their toilet is foul. They also don't even have hand soap in the toilet so I'd have remnants of shit on my hand afterwards. I'm not cool with just hand sanitizer

>>53669544
Hover you fag. Use those quads.

>>53669631
*in the restroom
also my shit would 100% splash and I don't want that public water with remnants of other people's diseases going into my anus

>>53669634
I legit would probably shit outside if I did that. It's not a normal shit. It's basically near diarrhea level. It would spread like a shotgun.

>>53669544
How unsanitary exactly? I mean it's a fucking workplace
You won't catch any diseases either way, unless your start shoveling floorpoop into your eyeballs or something. Just take a shit and stop being a pussy

>>53669610
kek

>>53669640
>cries about not having soap
>says he is about to go shit outside

>>53669644
basically there is toilet paper around the floor of the toilet itself filled with piss and shit. Nasty. Seat itself probably has invisible shit and piss particles from the nastiest of people. I legit think they cycle through janitors because there are long periods where nothing gets cleaned. I'm just going to hold it in. Just need ti last 1 hr and 30 min longer

>>53669637
put some toilet paper on the water so it catches the poo and stops it from splashing. changed my life when i found out about this.

>>53669662
Post pictures of the poopthrone. I wanna judge it's character for myself

>>53669662
Just go outside the building to some cafe or smth close, say you need to talk to a relative or smth

>>53669662
Shit in the sink or trashcan. if its as bad as you say in there, nobody will notice the difference.

>>53669662
>says toilet is unsanitary and won't got
>want to wait so that he can go to said unsanitary toilet
Use that time to drive to a mall or somewhere with a good toilet retard. You are not thinking clearly.

I have worked the same job for a decade and i have never shit at work

>>53669662

Just fucking tell them you need to go the toilet and go.

>>53669662
How do so many ilof you people have such colossally explosive diahrreal shits? Tf do you people eat? Eat some fucking fiber ffs.

shit in the sink bro

maybe quit eat like fucking too asshole... you know let your stomach be 'empty' for a bit nigger

had a buddy use the bushes once on break, straigh bend n squirt kinda madness... the stream. .. bring some paper towel anon, you'll be fine.

>>53669544
Taje your pants off, stand on the seat with your shoes on and squat.

>>53669662
Don't be a pussy. Either shit your pants in front of everyone and say you wouldn't have had to do that if they had a clean toilet or say you're going to take a shit in a CLEAN toilet then leave the building

>>53669631
Toilet at my job is a literal parasite hole so I pulled my pants down and sprayed diarrhea all over it and moved on

>>53669662
It's been 3 hours. Give us an update. Did you end up shitting your pants?

>>53669544
>holding in your body trying to urgently purge toxins
>ngmi

>>53669544
>taking a shit at work
uh disgusting, i never took a shit at my workplace, i simply clamp my ass cheeks and wait for the evening once i can go home.
And even at home i act like you do but at work, i often wait 3/4am to take a silent shit. I'm a lucky guy tho, with the time i learned to retain my shit longer and longer. Also i decided to skip breakfast and take very light meal (no desert, no entree) to generate less shit. Now i take a shit in average once a week. My personal best is 9 days without shitting. Tho i must be careful because they are enormous and super compressed so it's often a 3 step poop action. First i shit but try to not shit it all (1), then i flush. After i finish to take my shit(2), flush again, and finally wipe my ass (3) and do the final flush. If i do 1 & 2 or 2 & 3 at the same time, its the toilet clog guaranteed 100%.
I don't think poop-normies can even encompass the size of 1 weeks' deuce. Usually it's the lenght of my arm.
Also no homo but retaining compressed shit like this transform them in giant pooldo (dildo in poop) and it end up pressing the prostate after the 5th day, and it's legit better than hetero-sex. I never had anything up my ass but i can understand why the faggots would like it. Also i never admitted it to my gfs, i wonder if they would become jealous of my shits so i don't take the risk.

You will maybe think i'm a weirdo but i'm not. Just try to hold back your shit, you not only save water, get pleasure but you also save a shitload of TIME. Let say taking a shit is 5mn loss everytime, and that you shit everyday : 5x7 : 35mn weekly vs 5mn for me.
30mn per week, 2 hours per month, 1 day per year, you save a full month of your life after 30 years! It's enormous!
Please tell me i'm not the only one doing dis frens.

>>53669702
I have shit at work every day of the job

>>53671166
i hope this is pasta bait but it's really bad for your health to hold poop

>>53671174
You don't shit where you eat, buddy

>>53669544
>show up to office before everyone else
>down a 12oz coffee as soon as im in
>make another cup and go to my desk
>sip on coffee for the next hour
>important meeting at 8am
>have to shit a cannon ball during meeting
>run downstairs the (1) toilet we have in the men's room.
>occupied
>the battle raging cannot be contained
>have to run back to meeting call
>shit leaking out of my ass
>finish meeting
>im not feeling well, boss I need to go home
>go home and release a torrent of shit into the toilet