/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>52857850
No

>>52857850

What if I encase the snail in concrete?

>>52857850
No, there is even a horror movie made with the same concept. No thanks

no

>>52857850
Yes

>>52857888
checked

>>52857850
Of course and anyone that says no is a moron.

This is a basic math problem. A snail can at most travel 0.048 km/h.

Distance between NY and Sydney is 15,979 km. It would take a snail 38 years to travel this distance. Buy a house in NY and live there for 37 years. Fly to Sydney and live there for 37 years. Rinse and repeat. The snail will not factor into your life at all.

>>52857850
No

>>52857850
that snail is called the us government

100% yes.

You face greater threats to your life every fucking day.

Snails travel at 0.03 mph, thats .72 miles per day.

It would take 20.7 years for it to go from LA to London.

>>52857908
>He's going to uproot his life over a fucking snail.
>He hasn't already made enough wealth by 2022 to not need $10 mil
ngmi

>>52857908
>snail swimming through the ocean
Too bad you aren't good at basic logic questions. But ya well done on the math?

>>52857887
> there is even a horror movie made with the same concept.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VDvgL58h_Y

>>52857850
I would take it. You simply need to calculate how fast the snail is moving and every few months, relocate. If you were to moth overseas you would probably have over a year of time at your disposal before you had to move again.

Simple as.

>inb4 this snail can also into logistics and just gets on planes and boats and use transportation to accelerate its ability to catch you

>>52857918
Sorry now i think that im taking 10mil from worldwiderob

>>52857925
>be me
>be snail
>gets in the cab of a long-haul truck
nothin personal, kid

>>52857929
The snail cannot be killed it would travel along the ocean floor you moron.

>>52857881
Fpbp no rule against it

Just seal it inside a jar or something lol

>>52857931
Kek xD
https://m.imdb.com/title/tt3235888/

just set a trap for the snail that covers it in concrete, then keep it as a trophy in your house

No. Snail might be able to catch a ride somehow. It's already fucking magic. How smart is this thing?

I spend my fortune to find the snail and I go to it for the sweet release

>>52857927
You can travel back and forth, for safety sake just tag the snail with a tracker and se where it is every so often on your phone. Like to see it handle the currents of the ocean.

>>52857908
>running from the snail instead of encasing it in concrete
>someone even pointed that out first
i feel like i'm taking crazy pills here

>if it touches me I die a terrible death
>if someone else touches it then it’s fine
>one ticket to outer space please, one way trip
>launch snail into space
>heh nothin personnel kid

Yes, though I'm aware of the risks and know I would probably be tormented by the thought of the snail ever catching me, as unlikely as it would be living a mobile life.

As soon as you found the location of the snail though you would be fine since you can calculate how far you need to be. But presumably it's initial location is unknown, this you might accidentally move closer to it and die.

>>52857908
>Distance between NY and Sydney is 15,979 km. It would take a snail 38 years to travel this distance. Buy a house in NY and live there for 37 years. Fly to Sydney and live there for 37 years. Rinse and repeat. The snail will not factor into your life at all.
The snail is intelligent and can hitch rides on cars, busses, trucks, trains, and airplanes. It knows all transport timetables and routes.
It's over for you.

>>52858009
If this is the case it's a hard no for me.

Given that it WILL eventually find and kill you.

Also to those saying trap the snail. Trapping the snail involves finding the snail which is going to be next to impossible and any attempt is incredibly risky and time consuming.

>>52857850
>salt circle around me every night while I sleep
>I live til old age
>snail never gets close enough

>>52858046
The snail is immortal. He cares not for salt.

>>52858046
update
>dump a whole can of salt on the snail
I win

>>52858038
>Trapping the snail involves finding the snail which is going to be next to impossible and any attempt is incredibly risky and time consuming.
Just invest in a snail detector

>>52858055
it still causes him pain and agony and he will spend many days under that salt pile trying to get out. time has been bought

or scoop him up in a cup and dump him out of a plane into the ocean

>>52857881
The snail must be chasing you. If you trap it, it cannot chase you hence you would be breaking a rule of the game.

None of you know where rhe snail is starting.

>>52857919
Right up until you take THEIR money maybe

>>52857850
literally the premise of pic related

Yes people we've all seen it follows.

Where does it say having sex with someone will make the snail go to someone else ?

>>52857850
Yes and I'd literally just stay behind the snail the entire time. It would be slow at turning, no level of unknown intelligence could make it turn better, ez.

>>52857850
it wouldn't be safe to unless you knew the location of the snail when you took the money

>>52858005
>But presumably it's initial location is unknown
hes right behind me isnt he?

>>52857850

Do I know where the snail is at all times?

>>52857850
I'm paranoid, I wouldn't be able to live afraid of being tortured to death by the snail

>>52857981
Posts like these tell me you all need to go read more /x/. The meta of this situation is obviously outside the realm of pure probabilistic and logical outputs. The fact you're even dealing with a quasi-infinite lifetime snail with a crush on killing you should give you more than enough pause if for no other reason than the monkeypaw effect with bullshit like this.

>>52858224
Honestly, this is the deciding factor for me
If the snail's location is known to the person then they'd be a fool to turn down the money
If the snail's location is unknown to the person....well that's just scary. It would have me constantly paranoid

>>52857850
can snails move upside down on a surface?
Does anyone else know about the snail?

>>52858310
i was thinking about sleeping in a hammock but it would be necessary to know if this hypothetical snail is sentient or just a slow guided missile

Easy. Just train a dog that can alert you of snails. When your dog goes apeshit just run

>>52858292

Exactly. I get the shivers just thinking about it. Like imagine you get the $10M, but you look at your door and the snail is just starring at you in the doorway...

>>52858330
he's snail sentient so he might have skills and tactics we're not used to seeing in a life or death hunt and we're the hunted

>>52858224
That would trivialize the hypothetical situation entirely

>>52858350
> Easy. Just train a dog that can alert you of snails.
Do you go John Wick on the snail when it inevitably kills your dog in order to get to you?

>>52857850
10 million dollars is jack fucking shit.
10 billion dollars or its guaranteed equivalence in power today and I'll do it.

>>52857931
LMFAO thanks for sharing this brilliant

>Only have 3 years of a snail living, decade max
How does this factor into this equation?

No that sounds fucking horrible, I would rather be a wageslave.

>snail knows your location at all times
>is intelligent enough to hitch rides on vehicles
>is immortal
This snail sounds a lot like some SCP shit

Am I on Reddit?

>>52858468
It used to be a choose your own adventure kind of thing, culminating in this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9-faa56l-s

>>52857881
Ok, but which one? There's so many snails, how do you know which one is chasing you? Or are you going to trap every snail you see for a few years and then let your guard down because you "think" you've caught it?
>>52857908
Imagine flying and thinking you've bought yourself decades of time, but the snail actually hitched a ride and gets you by surprise.

>>52857850
>Move to moon colony
>Wait until snail is in space on whichever spaceship carries supplies.
>shoot down transport, leaving the snail to drift aimlessly in the void of space.
EZ, no re.

>>52857850
Yea, this is stupid. I would just put a tracking on the snail and migrate between 2+ properties on a semi-seasonal basis. The biggest expense being the house in the US lol.

Imma build a tree fort.... and have a ladder I pull up AND imma grease the lower trunk of the tree so the snail cant do some tree drop 360 no scope on me

>>52857931
>>52858468
It used to be a choose your own adventure kind of thing:
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9-faa56l-s
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VenEVnc3vqg

>>52857850
do i know where the snail starts?

>>52858292
> It would have me constantly paranoid
this.The worst case scenario is that my health deteriorates from stress over the next 5 years until I start taking meds to convince myself that the snail isn't real. Then when everything seems fine and happy, I relax, and the snail is on the ceiling about to drop on me before I fall asleep.

The suspense isn't worth the money. And I didn't even think about the decoy snails.

>>52857850
>doesn't say the snail is immortal
yup, I'd kill simply the snail.

>>52857931

Forgot about this one bro gold

>>52857850
>have supernatural entity chase me
>any amount
No.

>>52857908
It's a potentially intelligent snail, and presumably is immortal. It would probably hitchhike on vehicles and other modes of transportation.

>>52858361
That would be optimal. You could encase the snail in concrete and sigh a breath of relief.

But what if the snail is, say, 10 years away from you at the start? You'd live in constant paranoia and fear every snail you see, and you'd never know if you're increasing or shortening your distance from it when travelling.

>>52858588
>Ok, but which one? There's so many snails, how do you know which one is chasing you?
The snail is immortal anon, would be easy to test. And since it's a shitty animal like a snail, you wouldn't even feel too bad about killing every one you come across. It would be much worse if the animal was a dog for example.

>>52858621
the snail has the ability to hypnotize people to aid it in its quest to kill you. it will just find a passerby and get them to toss it into your tree. then your fucked

imagine banging high-end hookers in your hotel room in australia and then the snail drops out of the ceiling vent right onto your dick and it instantly turns gangrenous and melts while the hooker is screaming

>>52857850
>Have a friend put the snail in a jar
>Bury the Jar
That's the end of that.

Hard Edition: Increase reward to $100 Million

- The snail is able to teleport 100 miles once per year.

>>52858799
Additionally, the snail can save up the miles and use them all the once.

The snail is intelligent and will use these teleports as tactically as possible to kill you.

>>52858799
I'd actually have to pass on that: once it gets within 100 miles of you it would just teleport directly on top of you.

>>52858710
It's a snail, anon. Let it go.

Why don't you just fly to a different continent every month or something?

The snail would be stuck in the middle of the pacific, always having to change direction before it made any real progress

>get a mortgage on a yacht
>invest the rest
>travel along the coasts for the first half decade or longer, living and eating good as you explore
>have a sonar on if schizo
>buy multiple condos in other desired countries and travel every couple of weeks
ill be fine unless the snail can read my movements to predict where im going like its michael myers

>>52858748
STOP EVOLVING SNAIL

>>52857931
I wonder how much $$ had they spend on traveling for this movie

>>52857850
>Get money
>Pay someone to attach a 45lb barbell on snail
>Move out to a mansion 5km away
>Die 90 years later, knowing snail wasn't even able to travel 500 meters.

>>52858880

I don't think 10m is enough for that anon

>>52858002
this guy gets it
otherwise you can just get someone to trap the snail inside one of those hamster wheels. therefore, technically it is moving towards you just not getting anywhere.

>>52858005
>it's initial location is unknown
this makes things interesting

>>52858866
That's exactly what the snail would want you to think.

>Pay someone to throw snail down the Mariana's trench
>Attach anchor to snail just to be sure
>Snail spends millennium trying to find me
problems?

>>52859005
itll temporarily change into a sea butterfly snail to get out of the ocean, remember, its not restricted to being just one species of snail, so long as its a snail

>>52857850
>put a ring of salt around my house
gg

>>52857850
i will say yes even if the snail can move up in the air at mach speed

>>52859113
>wind blows salt away
>snail immediately swoops in to kill you

>>52857850
>$10 Million to deal with Notorious B.I.G for the rest of your life
No

>>52857850
Just pay someone else to put the snail in a box.

>>52857850

Ask frend to pick up the snail and put the snail in strong metal box full of salt.
Sails can't make slime to walk on on salt.
Put metal box into a safety deposit box in a bank in Sri Lanka.
Enjoy the money.

Or even better

Ask frend to pick up snail.
Put snail into an hard small vase.
Pay 13.000$ to have the snail launched into space towards infinity by that company that does space ashes burials.
Snail is going to be tens of thousands of miles away.

>>52858106
But with short term sexual gratification instead of imense wealth

I’d build 2 houses on high hills and out some kind of alarm system strips on the ground on multiple layers, with hired guards visually checking them a few times a day for the snail. Then I’d move between 2 locations regularly with set equal intervals, so the snail would eventually just go back and forth between them. But still, I probably woudln’t take the deal. Couldn’t feel relaxed anymore. I would see nightmares.

>>52858055

The salt makes it impossible for snails to walk as the slide on mucus. The salt dries up the mucus and the snail is stuck even if it is immortal it would take it a long time to make enough mucus to get over the salt.

>>52857960
>Third post
>Fpbp
Lurk moar

>>52857881
What if I encase myself in concrete. Check and m8, athiests.

What if you’d get 100 million but the thing that would kill you on touch is a shapechanging hot girl that only moves walking speed.

>>52857850
I pull a jojo and freeze it and get elon musk to send it space

>literally the dumbest fucking thrwad i have ever seen in my entire life
>over 100 replies

Never change /biz/, never change.

>>52859344
Thread*

>>52859344
one of the better threads its had recently and it was fun. just enjoy it man we'll be back to our regular shitposts soon enough

>>52857850
Yes. 6 months in Norway, 6 months in US.

Back and forth. Forever.

Plus I have the added bonus of being autokilled once I get dementia for long enough that im trapped in a home.

>>52857879

>>52857881
this is the right answer, ez

>>52859294
holy...

>>52858745

This. It would mentally drive you insane, that’s not worth $10 million which is only enough to live an upper middle class lifestyle without a job. I wouldn’t be able to have a normal job or life, I would be constantly on the move. I could never settle down and buy a house because of the paranoia of knowing that if I stayed in one place too long the snail would find me and I would die a horrible death. I already make enough at my current job to have 10 million eventually when I’m 50+ years old, if it was 10 billion I’d consider it but even then it would be hellish. The snail is smart enough to hitch rides on vehicles so it could literally be hours away from me even if I’m thousands of miles away. There would be no safety

>>52858944
you can buy a boat for a fraction of that price and stay comfortably on the water for weeks at a time as long as you avoid storms. The problem is what if the snail gets on the boat too?

>>52857929
Obviously the snail is able to crawl onto a plane or boat.

>>52857881

Yes
>be in New York
>see snail
>it’ll take snail approx 11 years to reach Los Angeles
>fly to LA
>11 years later fly back to New York
Repeat every 11 years

>>52857919
eleventh post best post

To be honest itd be a relief to know I wouldnt be trapped in an old folks home for like 30 years of shitting myself until death

>>52858001
Which snail?
I'm disappointed at the confidence of 80% of posters here. We know only a few of the rules and we're saying "yes"? You guys would be doomed if you found a magical lantern.
-Is the snail smart?
-Is the snail able to recruit help?
-Is the snail actually slow?
-Is the snail able to teleport to my location 1 millisecond after I accept the game?
-Is the snail affected by heat or cold?
...and many others.

>>52857919
lmao based

>find snail
>encase it
>travel to kola superdeep borehole while recruiting people to keep all eyes on the snail for the duration of the journey
>pay someone to allow you to throw it inside
There is absolutely no way it could ever find any vehicle or help getting out of that hole, it’s completely empty the only way up is through the walls and it’s 7.2 miles deep

>>52859921
>>find snail
good luck faget

>>52859945
It would be easy, do what this anon says >>52859259 to locate the snail. Hire guards and trained dogs to locate the snail. I was thinking about the Mariana’s trench bit too but then if le heckin genius snail manages to get out, befriend a sea dweller and make it back to the top then latch on to a random vehicle it’s back on your track
The kola superdeep borehole is completely empty. Just have someone put it into a military grade steel box to add weight to the fall then throw it down the hole that’s only like 12 inches in diameter. It’ll eventually get out of the steel box then crawl up for 7.2 miles with no chance of anything ever helping it up

>>52857850
>calculate speed of snail
>find out roughly how long time it takes for it to go halfway across the globe
>take flight to Asia to be a coomlord
>stay there until an alarm rings telling me it's almost here
>return back to Eastern Europe to be a coomlord
>???
>profit

>>52857850
Does the snail move at its own pace?
Can it travel through water?
Can it move through any material?
If the answer is no then of course its worth doing.
Build a house that does not allow for anything to physically fit in.

>>52858009
that wasn't part of the original rules

>>52857850
OF COURSE I'LL JUST KEEP THE SNAIL IN A JAR THAT IS WELDED SHUT

>>52857850
Yes, this is easy. A snail moves at about 0.03 mph, so if the snail starts near you in NYC you could fly to LA and it would take the snail about 9.3 years to reach you. Once it's close just move back to NYC and now you've got an extra 9.3 years. Repeat for life. Or better yet, move somewhere that isn't filled with jews and sodomites.

>>52860077
The snail is like Sauron’s Ring. A cat will bump into the jar and push the jar onto the floor.

No I can't assume a 10 million dollar snail will be slow or unresourceful. I don't want to spend the rest of my life locked in a deadly game of wits against a fucking mollusk.

>>52858082
Technically it is chasing you by constantly moving in your direction, but it’s also getting constantly sent in an infinite circle.

>>52857955
It'll just drown by itself, it's not like i'm actually killing it

>>52857850
Yes
I donate the money right away to some political party like a dumbest then I hug the snail to sleep
I love snails

That or I take a ticket to Mars
And I take the snail with me
That's gonna be fun

>go on a cruise
>snail follows your direction into the ocean
>immediately gets lost in random currents, eaten by predators, etc.

Even if it lives forever the probability of it getting to you after this setback in the span of your lifetime is extremely low. Snails can’t navigate the ocean so it would just be in fates hand at this point.

what if it's a snail girl and she's tryign to have sex with you that'd be crazy hahaha

I eat the snail WITHOUT touching it, gaining its power: I can now kill myself with but a touch.

>>52857908
Sorry fren the snail paid me 1million to bring it to you.

>>52857908
The snail will take the plane

You would just hire a team with the money you've been given to track the snail. Stay mobile, stay in touch, stay alive.

>>52857850
take all you want, I already spent a lot on memecoins anyway, now if vinu doesn't save my ass I'll go back to my dad and tell him I was wrong

>>52857850
just pay someone to catch the snail and use it to harness energy since it cannot be killed

>>52857850
>millionaires trying to make being a millionaire seem difficult.
>snail can't be killed
Literally pay a friend to put it in a jar and seal it up in a concrete block.

>a low reddit-tier /b/ post that would have been stale 10 years ago
>138 replies on /biz/
We're getting another leg down arent we?

Why wouldn't you guys just cum on it till it loses the will to chase you? Thats the thing all you poors don't realize, you have the upper hand at all times. He is always coming at you at a certain speed, his weakness. I would cum on this little faggot, jog a half mile away until i'm ready to blow my load. Each time I would run up to his stupid little face call him a faggot bitch and cum on him. Eventually this snail will break, i'll break that little fuck.

>>52860607
Crypto isn't hot right now so biz isnt 200 threads of pajeet scamcoins.

>>52860622
>>52860607
Comfy

>>52857850
Why can't a snail be killed?

Assuming the deal is open to all, No. The immediate result would be mass inflation and devaluation of the USD.

I would work on a new cryptocurrency where coins are only generated when a snail is united with its human. The more people you kill with snails, the more coins you get.

>>52859682
What if it waits for your return at the airport

>>52858082
That's not what's the rules say.

>>52857850
>Build metal box.
>Place over snail.

>>52858082
>you would be breaking a rule of the game.
Never said you couldn't trap it, so trapping is fair game.

>>52857908
you can't put a price on peace of mind.

>>52860941
trapped was covered as was encasing in concrete and a few other things that impede the super evolved snail o death

>Buy 10 different houses hundreds (or thousands) of miles apart from each other
>Constantly move between them
>Snail is stuck going in circles trying to keep up with my ever changing location
Checkmate, snail.

>>52858009
My God, the snail is too powerful.

>>52857919
SO true

Snails are slow af, nigger. Even if you assume their max speed 24/7, just buy 3 homes a few dozen miles apart and move between them every week.

>>52857850
Best solution would probably be to live primarily (or at least sleep) in a wide, totally empty room with a ventilated but otherwise enclosed bed elevated by at least several feet, and motion detectors/cameras on every corner to catch intruders. Within a few years it would almost certainly reach your room. Then you entrap it and live the rest of your life with peace of mind.

>>52858082
what a fag of an explanation

I think a major issue that people don’t seem to realise is that you don’t know where the snail starts out

how to make a bunch or retards act like retards for half a day
/thread

The small will just
>attack at night while you’re sleeping
>or hide in your food or drink and instawin next time you get dinner
>or hide under your keyboard and crawl out when you’re using the computer
>or arrange an accident, send you to the emergency room, and touch you when you’re unconscious
You can’t beat the snail

>>52858009
>>52857850
just go on a permanent roadtrip, actually pretty fun

>>52857850
Buy two houses. One on east coast one on west. Calculate how long it takes snail to get from one house to the other. Just move back and forth as needed.

>>52858242
/x/ would divine its location with tarot cards, and then angrily try to convert it to Christianity.

>>52861051
The OP seems to imply that it is constantly moving. If the snail can "chase" by lying in wait and predicting your moves, then obviously you're fucked to take the offer.

>>52857850
No because the stress of it would be worse than the actual risk.

>>52859485
>Plus I have the added bonus of being autokilled once I get dementia for long enough that im trapped in a home.
Underrated

>>52858082
gayfaggotniggerfag wrongwrongwrong kys niggergay

>move to an airship
heh, nothing personnel, snail

>>52861013
>accept the deal
>the snail was on your back
>immediately die

>>52857850
You have to go back

>>52857850
Pay some-one to capture the snail and put a gps tracker on it and put it in a terrarium.

Snails cover 100m in about 50 hours. Lets call it 48 hours or two days. You need to have somewhere to move to a hundred meters or so away every two days.
Or, you could move 1000km. Thats 1,000,000 meters, or 50,000 snail hours, as we've calculated the snail moves on average 0.002kmph.
Thats 20,833.3 days. Thats 57 years before I even have to worry about the snail again. At which time I'm 93 years old and I'll probably let it touch me if Im still alive.
Yeah. Im taking the money.

>>52858292
>>52857850

I would buy two identical houses with the money a few miles apart. Vacate the current premises and pay people to pack everything up. Stay in
alternating hotels until the houses are built/found. Live life in between the two houses.

>>52857887
It’s fucking snail, anon. Not a slow walking naked dude

>>52857850
>put snail in jar
>go to remote pacific island or antartica
>burry it 20 ft deep
>take the money
>PROFIT

>>52861246
thinking about it. this only works if i know where to catch snail. Else i would turn it down.

Really just demonstrate it can't be killed and some glowies will keep it locked up for you.

>>52861246
If i am guranteed starting location of snail is random I would take it anyway though and not worry. a snails speed is only 0.05 km/h the earth has 510.1 million km2. This means even if it spawns in the closest 0.001 % of area to me it would take the snail ~11,645 years to reach me.

>>52861296
I guess even if it starts close to me solution is to simply skip town and start a new life a safe distance away.

>>52861296
>>52861324
There's nothing that says the snail can't hitch a ride. Even if it does so unconsciously, it's highly likely to happen frequently on the scale of normal snail locomotion, considering it's a small sticky creature that also happens to be invulnerable.

>>52861331
okay, i would not touch the money.

>>52857850
low iq "test" desu baka

>>52857850
can I put some gps on the snail? could I trap it in some kind of weighted glass and throw it in the middle of the ocean?

>Get a friend to slap an apple airtag on that bitch
>Use money to buy a house on west and east coasts of the US
>Fly to your other house when the MF gets close

Can the snail be placed in some rube goldberg machine that keeps it away from me?

Kek. That sounds like a good nen contract for some overpowered ability.

>makes ya seethe

>>52857850
Just pay someone to pick up the snail and take it to the exact opposite side of the world. Have fun you slimy little fucker.

>>52858009
>>52857908
I love this board
Made me chuckle in dark times
Thanks anonymous posters <3

>>52857850
>The snail teams up with Liam Neeson or John Wick
>it's all over cause BABY YAGA hounds your ass to the desert
Yeah, no. I'm good

i once spent a long while thinking on this, and i decided that the snail would certainly kill me within a few years. it's not worth it. you would need to wear a hazmat suit at all times to stand any kind of a chance

>>52857850
>Buy 2 houses at the very opposite of the globe.
>Travel every 6 months to the other side.
>Profit.

Not breaking the rule (trapping the snail would probably brake the rule as it is unable to chase you).

>>52858537
Actual pretty good concept for a skip.

Tape this shit around the soles of every pair of shoes I own for rest of my life.
Checkmate you slimy little cunt.

>>52861611
every time i've heard this hypothetical, it's always made clear that the snail has a billion IQ or something. i think the guy who tweeted OP's pic forgot about that part.
the snail would pinpoint the locations of both your properties, choose one, and wait for you to arrive

>>52859024
Now this is podracing

>>52861626
he doesnt die he cant chill at your pad all day...date some of the local snail ladies in town and even hit the tourist spots all while waiting to you return. He's basically on a sweet vacation hosted at your place.

>>52861650
listen i haven't slept in like 30 hours so i don't know what you're saying here. are you proposing an alliance with the snail?

>>52861626
If it's the case then the problem is unsolvable as it will always find a solution to reach you.

My interpretation of "chase you" is : it just walks straigth lines towards you indefinetly until it reaches you.

Surprised nobody posted it yet.
>It's a female snail.
>Offspring has the same abilities.
>The.contract specifically says that you are not entitled to this information unless you ask for it.

>>52861664
yeah that'sthe conclusion i came to as well

>>52857850
No because in 5 years I couldn't even get a cart full of groceries with that money.

>>52857850
I hire a friend to scoop up the snail and put it on one of Elon Musks rockets (whatever they're called theses days) which blasts it into space. Maybe the moon or something. Snail is released harmlessly to resume its chase from there

>>52861681
the snail has the advantage of anonymity. you will spend your 10 million instantly by launching every snail you see into orbit

>>52861096
The problem is you have no when your first encounter will be

>>52861626
no amount of iq can see the future. waiting at a place hoping you show up is actually a pretty shit idea

>take deal
>burn all money in front of poor people
>willingly touch snail afterwards

>>52861686
i can count the number of moving snails i have seen in the past year on my fingers

>>52861709
that's a fair point. he'd need to observe you rotating between the two homes for long enough time to reliably predict when you'll show up. unless he has alien technology i guess it's checkmate

Heh, nothing personnel Snail.

>>52858361
>Like imagine you get the $10M, but you look at your door and the snail is just starring at you in the doorway...

op really got these autists going

>>52857850
why do normies accept doing all this weird shit for a few million dollars but you mention they could start a business for hundreds of millions and they run for the hills?

>>52857881
Decoy snail

>>52857887
It's a Doctor Who episode

>>52859769
>what if the snail is really a jet propelled hunter-killer drone that can smell your dna
c'mon bro

>>52857879

>>52857850
>take snail to Bangladesh
>release the snail
>never going there again lmao

can AI make a movie about the snail game

>>52857932
this
a snail moves at around 0.03mph/h
= 0.72 a day
= 262 miles a year
i literally move 600 miles every few months. wouldn't have to even change my lifestyle to dodge the snail
if you want to be extra safe, flying between europe and america every year guarantees your safety. the immortal snail would be stuck somewhere in the atlantic ocean, endlessly pacing back and forth to catch up with you
you could even live on a boat. it's not like the snail can swim. anytime it's in the ocean, it's going to be at the bottom of it

snail top speed is one meter an hour

12742 kilometers from snails location to the other side of the earth. that's 12,742,000 meters.

it would take the snail 12,742,000 hours to reach you. 530,916 days. 1454 years

Yes I would take the money then I would lure the snail into a small coffin and seal the lid. Then bury it. It's a fuckin snail. It only can slither at like 0.0001 mph. So much time and room for error. Ez mone

>>52857850
>go live on an island
Snails can't swim in the ocean

>>52858046
Ceiling snail says geronimo.

>>52862437
The snail could already be on the island

>>52862437
Ever heard of a boat?

>>52857850
Just move to the centre of France, let's see how immortal this snail really is

>>52857850
Have it put in a glass tank, have the tank covered in concrete, and bury it 5 meters deep. The murderous immortal little cunt can live forever in there. Nite where my money OP?

>>52857850
Snails travel at 1 meter per hour. They'd never reach you if you move every few months. So give me the fucking money

>>52857881
>>52857850
Concrete and a salt ring. There problem solved.

>>52857850
I'd just travel around the world, it'd never catch up to me

>>52859205
I mean, not even. You have to fuck to pass it onto someone else, it doesn't give you anything special to have sex, you're on your own. If you are an incel you are boned.
And even if you do fuck it might come back if everyone else died. The safest way is to go to a whore like the dude does at the end of the movie but even then I doubt I'd have peace of mind.

>>52861831
To "start a business" is very very removed from being guaranteed a few million for yourself.

>>52858680
I mean, how common is it even to see a snail? They mostly go out only during rainy weather. Therefore if you see one when it's dry, you can be certain that it's him.

>>52858745
you could install advanced security around your home with heat sensors etc and hire guards to kill each snail that enters, if it is the one you get the concrete

people who don't take the Money are cowards

>>52862840
>bury it 5 meters deep
I'd dump it in the mariana trench personally

>>52862324
>live on a boat that just does criss crosses over the mariana trench
the snail is living in my horror movie now

>>52857850
I'll fucking take that money and invest 80% into stablecoin while diversifying the rest into some freaking hot crypto such as atom, juno, evmos, loop, bnb, eth, dot, avax, ada. You know, just diversify the hell out of it. I know my end will come since it can not be killed but I'll make sure it doesn't touch me. C'mon, a snail is too slowish so take that money and enjoy.

>>52857850
You mean it's so difficult to catch an immortal snail inside any jar I have here in my house. To make sure it doesn't somehow mutate into hulk snail, I'll just poor concrete around the jar and dump the block into the sea. Now what's he gonna do?

Live exactly on the other side of the world as it and constantly move so it has to turn around and take the new "shortest path"

>>52857850
Quick Google search says a fast snail can move 1m/hr.
The distance between the US and Europe is apparently 7895 km.
If you move to Europe you have 7,895,000 hours of safety minimum assuming the ocean doesn't slow down the snail. That's 328958 days, 901 years.
The US is 4662km across, 4,662,000 hrs, 532 years of safety.
Yeah I take that risk.

>>52858009
>The snail is intelligent and can hitch rides on cars, busses, trucks, trains, and airplanes. It knows all transport timetables and routes.
>It's over for you.

Hell nah, the snail doesn't have the ability to travel far. Unless it is not a natural snail. I'm taking the money and investing in the cosmos. The snail can't hit the cosmos.

>>52863039
Ok but what if the snail start a foot away from you the moment you take the deal?

>>52863059
I walk down the street, have lunch and a smoke, start planning a vacation.

>>52858082
You're the type of nogger to claim he has an invincible shield that can't be destroyed when u were a kid huh

>>52863059
Actually, if I just go to work like regular the snail will be contained in an 8-10m loop as I drive past daily. I don't think you even have to move.

so many retards here who don't understand that you don't know the location of the snail from the start

stop making retarded assumptions, it is stated nowhere that you have this info

>>52857850
Where does the snail start to chase and at what speed does it move? Would be fairly easy to get on a plane and move half way across the world. Snail would never be able to catch up if it moves at the speed of a normal snail on earth.

>>52863104
Doesn't matter since it will eventually find you, it's just a matter of waiting long enough and being prepared

>>52863135
not great for the mental health though, how do you prepare?

>>52857850
$10m and an immortal snail I can sell probably for another $10m sounds good brah

>>52863181
>how do you prepare?
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/290287173_Wireless_sensor_mote_for_snail_pest_detection

>>52857895
>travel 6000 miles from the snail
>it takes 82 years to reach you
The only question is, do you know which snail is THE snail? I suppose you could verify this by trying to salt it and if it didn’t die it must be the snail. So yes, I think I’d take the money.

>>52862768
Then you can live anywhere else because the snail would be stuck there

>>52862781
Snails aren't intelligent enough to commute

>>52857850
lmao how is it gonna touch me, im just gonna wear a bee suit 24/7.

>>52864619
better yet just move to iceland, there's no snails there it's too cold for them.

>>52857850
Yeah, I would just wait for it to catch up to me then walk away from it and fly to another location every few years

>>52864637
also cannot be killed does not mean immortal, if it goes into the ocean and drows it's not being killed.

My peace of mind is worth more than money. So hell no

>>52857850
> there’s a snail
> put it in a jar
Goys I solved the problem.

>>52857908
>>52857925
>>52857932
>anon's assuming they know the location of the snail at all times...

>>52857850
>Buy small white house
>Helicopter on standby
>cement every inch of grass
>Paint empty room all white
>Install motion camera with security detail
>Wait for snail
>Try to escape before it touches me
>Fly helicopter to airport
>Go as far as I can

Snail moves .03mph. 1 year = 8760 hours.

Move atleast 300 miles every year to sustain distance from snail.

No because I like snails and the thought of not being able to hold another snail again makes me sad

>>52857850
I would OD or die from AIDS even before fucker gets to me.

>>52857963
>>52858788
>>52860077
>>52860216
>>52860592
>>52861246
>>52862994
>>52864771
> there’s a snail
> put it in a jar
> The snail is like Sauron’s Ring. A cat will bump into the jar and push the jar onto the floor.
Or the snail will be playing this game IRL until it finally escapes: https://www.iamfishgame.com/

>>52857850
Just introduce a female snail to him, she will ruin his life and he will forget about chasing you.

>>52857932
You have 10M dollars just buy 2 houses, one in each country and fly like once every few years when he comes close.

>go to France for the first time
>decide to try something I’ve never had
>order snail
>”oh shit it’s the death snail”
>pay waiter 10k to eat it
Snail is now trapped inside some Frenchman’s belly

>>52861686
Wait in the desert - somewhere no snail would normally be seen. Get a laser perimeter set up. Wait. Wait till the snail arrives. You KNOW its the only snail that can be there so you know its your doom. You just spent 10 years in the desert but at least you know where he is now. THEN you go to the other end of the earth, relax, live out your dreams for the rest of your many years.

>>52857850
The snail will spend most of its immortal life in the entrails of a cat or dog.

>>52862324
Buy 2 houses that are 4 hours away by plane. Move back and forth every 6 years or whenever

Yes, I would take the money and immediately give it to my wife's black bull. The snail can kill me after, it's okay.

>>52866479
i'm thinking about it and it seems feasible. only problem i can think of is that the snail could try an all-or-nothing gamble and try to sneak in there to get you before you see him. he'd have a lot of time to plan for it too.

>>52861891
laughed

Just move across the sea. Problem solved.

(I will still salt my appartement)

>>52860951
>Snail catches on
>Snail goes to amazon warehouse
>Snail waits until it detects you have moved again.
>Snail gets itself delivered to your neighbor three days later.
The only way to win is to actively hunt and trap it.

>>52865597
Snail hands typed this.

>>52858082
Then I'll encase it in a steel hamster ball. It can roll after me all it likes, but it will never touch me.

>>52857850
So the snail is the IRS?

>>52857850
can’t I just put the snail in a box?

>>52857850
>take the cash
>the snail takes a jet and crashes into you in your sleep

Just pay somebody to keep it at his house and retrieve it whenever it moves away.

>>52857850
Can i just touch the snail and forfeit the money?

>>52857850
I would take the money then immediately let the snail kill me.

>>52857879
K3kkkk

>>52857850
I will take the money and then paralyze the snail. It might know where I am, but it will be haunted knowing that it will never be able to move to catch me.

>>52857850
yes I take the money unless its a superpower snail. I wait for it to come to me, then as its outside my sealed tent, I fight it, in an epic battle of chopstick vs snail I capture it and put it in my safe. lock it away for ever more. and thus the tale ends.

I accept the money. Please give it to me sir. You have made a promise.

>>52857850
Too much stress

>>52873736
You would risk living in a tent for 30 years waiting for the snail to eventually reach you? What if it spawns in China?

>>52858009
It's just a snail with eternal life and a grudge, not Albert Einstein if he snail. Add it into the premise, or it doesn't count.

>>52857850
It can only move .72 miles (1.16 km) per day.

>>52857850

No, because I don't know the snail starting position. I can't move to another continent and live there for a couple of decades, because the snail might be there already.

>>52857850

is the snail intelligent at all? if not, and it simply always travels in a straight line towards you, then

1) living in a blimp or cruise ship that is always moving eliminates the threat
2) you can pay to have staff watch you while you sleep and it can eventually be caught, and then placed in a rocketship and flown into deep space a la voyager. Nasa would probably consider this for a reasonable donation, say 1-2 million

solvt
holy shit my captcha is nmnasa. that is clearly the play.

>selling your peace of mind for 10,000,000

lol

oh come on, that's easy

>buy and wear a GPS tracking watch
>buy a treadmill
>put the treadmill on a platform that can spin 360°
>make the 360° platform with the treadmill on it face your GPS direction at all times and make the treadmill match the speed of the snail (you have $10m dollars, you can fund this easily)
>have someone else put the snail on the treadmill (the snail is only dangerous if it touches you, not someone else)

now the snail is chasing you forever but going nowhere

easy gg etc

>>52857850
yes, all those who answer no are legit retards

>>52857850
>The snail fears the full body latex suit
Crawl over me all you want you stupid snail fuck.

>>52857850
Sure
I can't kill it or touch it, but I can hire someone else to lock it up in a little snail jail and torture it for the rest of its days

>>52874365
>The snail fears the full body latex suit
You'll be the most uncomfortable man ever, but nonetheless alive.

>>52873426
This is the right answer

>>52863073
Nigger maybe you are walking towards the snail, wtf

>>52857934
>>52857934
This. I would ask someone to install a tracker.

Nowhere in the rules does it specify that the snail is in any way normal; in fact, quite the opposite: it "cannot be killed."

It seems likely that this special little doomsnail likely has a host of undisclosed special abilities, such as excreting acid powerful enough to bore through steel-reinforced concrete, or even travel at supersonic speeds along the ground... or through the air itself, flying quickly with complete disregard for aerodynamics, physics, and what contemporary science considers possible for a snail.

I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if, upon completion of this contract to the affirmative, the snail simply teleports onto your forehead, says "nothin' personal, kid," and straight yeets the contract-signer before the ink's even dry.

Before even considering this contract, I would need provable guarantees that this "snail" is, indeed, incapable of exceeding the capabilities of a normal, garden variety, terrestrial snail in any way other than being "unkillable."

How come actually business-related threads such as [REDACTED] get deleted & pruned by jannies, but this absolutely useless thread continues all day until it reaches maximum post count? Oh, right: because FUCK JANNIES, FUCK KIKES, FUCK NIGGERS, FUCK TRANNIES, FUCK SNAILS, BUT MOSTLY, FUCK (YOU), OP!

i would accept the deal and instantly grab the snail

>>52857850
Not unless I can stop the snail somehow eg the concrete encasement idea >>52857881

>>52858588
>Imagine flying and thinking you've bought yourself decades of time, but the snail actually hitched a ride and gets you by surprise.
Kek or it being smart enough to do this rather than the slow way around. If its objectove is to chase you then Im sure its smart enough to take advantage of people. Oh you went to the bahamas? No worries snail just hitched a ride on some luggage heading there and then jumped aboard a taxi to reach you fast

>>52857908
You forget it has an objective to catch you, Im inclined to believe it is smart enough to take advantage of stuff

>>52860948
I'd take the money because there are already people fucking stalking me and trying to kill me. what's one more?

>>52866192
>snail knows your house locations
>patiently awaits inside your house above the doorway to drop on you
Heh

Ten million AND a quick death (most likely in my sleep)? Hell fucking yeah.

If the snail has intelligence I probably wouldn't. Fucker could be hiding under the couch or my car seat waiting for me to sit down, he could hid himself in a bowl of chips or something, or he can hide behind something in a store so when I pick the item up I don't see the snail.

>>52857850
The snail cannot be killed but it can still be sealed away, trapped, locked away, etc

>>52875512
can you read? it says a terrible death, not quick and painless..

>>52857919
Ok. Now this is epic.

The real question is what tf is considered a terrible death? I say something along the lines of rabies

>>52857850
Just have someone capture the snail and freeze it. Transport it to antarctica. Problem solved. Rob Perez must be some kinda idiot to pose such a simple to solve problem.

>>52875570
Terrible does not imply painful. A plane crash is a terrible death, but you will most likely die instantly.

>>52862926
10 mil ain’t enough for all that shit

>>52857850
1. how does the snail know where you're at at all times?
2. how do you literally train a snail to do this? with a neuralink chip lol? this tech isn't even close to being realized yet
3. how can you NOT kill a snail????
4. there is no such thing as a venomous snail that kills humans upon contact
this thread is fucking retarded

>>52866240
Till he shits it out and repeat

>>52862917
The thing is, it's aware that you're looking for him. It doesn't want to be seen, which is terrifying. Most victims would probably die without knowing what killed them with a snail hiding in their work shoes.

>>52860216
>The snail is like Sauron’s Ring.
This. Bad luck when the car won't start, the flight has been delayed, and the door is welded shut like Death from Final Destination is best friends with the snail. Becoming hospitalized and paralyzed while the snail catches up to you to put you out of your misery.

>>52862324
>snail hijacks a plane
>drops off from plane
>lands on you standing on the boat
>all calculated in a year's time when you'd least expect it.

>>52866479
>Get a laser perimeter set up
>snail drops onto your head after being eaten and shat out by a bird mid-flight

The snail can't be killed but doesn't say it can't be hurt or permanently crippled. I'd have someone cut the snail into pieces and then drop it in the middle of the sea that's 1000+miles away from me.

>>52873941
I will just fly to another continent and live there. I have peace of mind that a snail would take decades to reach me.

>pay a personal body guard or guards to be on watch for the snail 24/7
>If it ever gets in my vicinity, they can take the snail and have it moved to the other side of the planet.
>Before the snail is released (assuming it can't be contained), place a tracking chip on the snail so I know the location of the snail at all times
That was easy

>>52861711
HOLY BASED