/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>521660
*punches him in the head so he falls and breaks the pen*
You break you buy faggot!

>>521662
nice.

>end

>>521662

back the fuck off?!?!

>>521662
>implying the pen would break because of the fall

This pen will bring you luck. Buy it for $1.

>>521660
Can u write down something?
Do u have need 4 pen?!?!

Then buy this 1. U will liek it :DDD

le jordan belfort face

This pen has been inside ariana Grande's vagina.

$5

Don't sell pens. Lease pens. Have you learned nothing?

>>521749
do have I, nigga

"You can sell it to yourself, Asshole"

>>521729
sell him the fallproof pen

>>521660
Write your name down, oh you can't? Looks like you need this pen.

>>521660

how you gonna write ur name without a pen LOL

>>521764
>do have I, nigga

>>521660
>Not only that this custom made pen came right out of Hitler's rectum when they found his corpse in the bunker, he used it to sign off many papers during the war.. ALL OF THEM COME IN THE SPECIAL, ONE TIME, MEGA PREMIUM OFFER! BUY THIS FUCKING PEN NOW FOR ONLY 1,999.99$ AND YOU'LL ALSO GET UNCLE TOD'S SPECIAL MEDUSA INK REFILLS! WHAT NOW FAGGOT!

>>521850

ebin

this pen is a piece of shit get. The pen i have lasts longer and the ink wont run out within a few months.

> use pen to write a book of poetry
> sell it online
> make $10
> throw pen away, fuck the consumer

>>521785
>>521773

hried

>>521891

2/10

Selling? Selling is for mugs. Now pen insurance, that's where's its at. Anyway, this pen isn't for sale, you've gifted it to me now.

You have something on the side of your mouth - o-oh don't worry its gone now. Now where were we?

>>521978
this nigga gets it

>>521660
The government is watching you, sir, and they have cloak and dagger style created a vast enterprise at your expense. No one will tell you because it's a trade secret and therefore legally protected - they won't assassinate or shoot you because you're an asset, but if you make the wrong move it may very well cost you your life. They have monitored your every movement for the past two years. Within the next business week, you will be presented with a contract, and your life may or may not depend on you signing it. The details of the contract entail that you forfeit certain God given rights, it's a trick and they want to only witness you sign it and they'll send you on your way afterwards, however with this very pen that I hold in my hand, may save you IF you sign the contract with this pen.
And I'll go as low as $2.50.

I don't sell pen...


Only dubs.

>>521660
That'll be $1.50

>>521984
Thanks small guy. Sorry I never caught your name, Jamaal was it?

>>522433
>>522055
nice dubs

>>521978
is this a quote from somewhere or something

>>522443
I'm just getting started...

>>522464
Tears friend, the only quote is out of my mouth.

>>522443
Thank you, check these.

>>521660
This pen was used by the president Barrack Obama as anal stimulation while he jerked off in the oval office.

>>522477
Noice

you see a Pen is something simple,anyone could use It, but,you know what? I'm not selling it to anyone,Im selling it to someone i trust Its going to make a Lot of money using it,so Tell me are you a loser or a winner?

>>521749

And so have nigger dicks apparently. Do you want nigger dicks, Anon?

>>522821
i'm gonna use this wish my luck

>>522049

And you do a shit job at it.

>lite pen on fire
>"i'll sell you this glass of water for $5"


wow so easy

>>522490
I'm only getting started...

>>521660
This is the very pen used in the "sell me this pen scene" In Wolf of the Streets and it's yours for a five cents.

>>521660
Take pen, put it in your pocket, change the subject. Deny you ever saw the pen.

That motherfucker will want the pen so bad he will come across the table for it.

Write down your signature
Oh you can't?
Oh wait you can
Have a nice day sir.

>>523638
What? Of course I can boy, I have a spare pen on me at all time. I thought you were meant to be selling this to me? Your wasting my time kiddo, fuck off outta here.

>>521660
Put a flashy sticker on it. i.e. name brand logo.

5 million shills. Will that be cash or cash?

>>523600
if only you could sell that pen, rather than selling these double digits, eh? Champ

>>521660
Selling a pen helps the bourgeouis scum to opress the workers, faggot.

>>524933
>implying I haven't done both itt

>>521660
Congratulation Sir, you just won on our internal lottery.
You can buy this pen from me for 50% of his original value.

"you know Eddie Murphie and Oprah get this pen flown in all the way from local store in Budapest? don't tell anyone it's a bit of a secret though"

>>521773
>sharpie in pooper

>>521794
>>521820
>>523638
oh thanks I almost forgot my name!

Do you need a pen? No? I'll go sell it to someone who needs it then.

>>521660
>Hi, im a movie producer in search for actors
>Want my phone number?
>handoverpicrelated.jpg
>Need a pen?
>that will be 1$ please

>You see that girl over there staring at you?
>You should get her number.
>You don't have a pen?
>Here I'll sell you this one for a dollar.

if u don buy dis pen riht now mate I will fukkin kill ur mum. respect?

dis iz gud pen i promis

theres an oz of blow taped inside the pen

wolfy wolfy wolfy

Just say it's a nice pen and that you rather keep it. Put it in your pocket untill they ask to give it back. Then simply say you sell it for whatever he has as pocket change.

>get on my level nigas

This is the pen you want.
There is no other pen like this pen.
And it just so happens you are the first person I introduce this pen to.
Why you ask?
Because I see the potential in your eyes.
I see what you and this pen can achieve.

So tell me sir,
Do you want to buy this pen and unlock your full potential,
Or do you want to pass this chance on to the guy next to you.
The choice is yours sir, choose wisely.

>>526798
>can i suck your penis pls

>>521660

> Sell me this pen

BANE?

>>526819
was going to jail for securities fraud part of your plan?

>>526824

> insert /tv/ meme

sorry friend the road ends here for us

>>526831
does it even matter to you that i just had this thread sodded with bermuda memes jordan?

Its a magic pen, dubs will confirm

>build rapport
Hello, how's your day going?
Great, glad to hear your doing well.
Etc.
>Top down sell. (Features and Benefits)
What I recommend based on what you told me is the ass blaster 9000.
It's made of solid gold so people know you're not fucking around and the ink was creamed from the rare and exclusive Humboldt squid. This creates the blackest ink so dark your brain is tricked and it looks like God.
Usually it's $1 mil but for you today it's only $990,000, so you save 10 grand!
>go down all the pens till the bottom.
What I at least reccommend and what a lot of people do is just go with the bic it's just $8.99 and has many of the same features as the ass blaster 9000.

>Assume the sale and close positively.
Do you have a preferred payment method and do you collect any rewards programs?
Again my name is Anon and if there is anything I can do for you please ask for me.
Have a great day

>>521660
Only faggots use the pens. So, OP is now obligated to buy it.

>>527129
haha i love this.

people around the city try and use this shitty method for signing up people to charities.

I surely hope the ones who do work in charity sign ups are not inspiring to be salespeople because they all follow this sort of structure and they all fucking suck.

I prefer the AIDA method.

>Attention
last pen, get it before someone else does
>Interest
You know what makes this pen so special? executives use this pen because of its flow and form. fact is, people in the high life dont just get things that look good but perform good too, thats what this is.
>Decision
I'm bringing it to you and it could be yours take it or leave it
>Action.
sign on the line which is dotted.

>>525971

There's heroin in this pen.

>give him pen for free
>sell ink

its better to be the guy on top.

>>527960
Why not just keep getting more free samples then?

>>522477
Fooking noice

>>527960
People don't buy ink for pen anynmore, grandpa

>>521660
>if you see this pen while scrolling the first page you have been visited by the pen of fortune
>good luck & prosperity will come to you,but only if you buy this pen
Guaranteed profit