/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>52678730
Incel here, for me, it’s women talking. They should stay in the kitchen and make me a sandwich

>>52678730
>please stay away from me or I'll report you to HR.

>>52678730
>here's your €11 per hour before taxes

For me, my wife and I work from home. I frequently ask to drop a load in her pussy, and that I will suck on her clothes to get her pussy nice and juicy. Fact is, once her pussy cums from me sucking on her clit, it only take a couple pimps until I fill her hole to the brim with seed.

>>52678838
Ew, imagine the stench

>>52678759
Quit

>we'll throw that idea up the flagpole and see who salutes

>>52678730
>i know the lead time for those units is 6 months, but we promised the client we can have them moved in within 4 months. can't you just use (dog shit brand with the same lead time) instead?

>YOU FAILURE, YOU ARE A FAILURE, YOU FAIL ALL THE TIME
I don't have a work.

>>52678730
>"pls advise???..."
>Email signatures with pictures of the wagies shitbulls, kids, or some generic flower clip art
>Manager: "going forward please implement these changes to a process that I don't understand"
>Manager one month later: "why is this process now taking longer/not working?"

>I'm going to piggyback off what you said and make sure I touch base with you later

>>52678753
rent free lmao

>>52678730
>let's talk about that offline
>let's table that discussion for later (which never happens)

>>52678730
The company i work for is run by the great granddaughter of the guy who founded it. The family is worth at least $40 million, definitely more. She's this spoiled 45 year old cunt thats never had a day of hardship in her life and she expects the male employees to take her seriously when if youve ever talked to her for more than 5 minutes you know that she lives in a totally different world. Her brother is a total cuck that just lets her run everything while he plays tennis and collects a check every month. Can't wait to leave this shithole.

>>52678967
>company hits insane sales numbers during covid.
>literally a level of growth that won't be seen again organically until probably 2026.
>"hey so how come none of our employees matched or beat the covid numbers this year? You guys aren't working hard enough!"
Kek

>>52679212
>can we have a quick catch up, in the office
>can I call you
>I'll give you a ring

>>52678730
Everything. I hate being there.

>>52679454
>Her brother is a total cuck that just lets her run everything while he plays tennis and collects a check every month.
Sounds based

>>52678838
another wfh faggot.
Can't wait until these jobs are as micromanaged as regular office drone work.

>we ran badge swipes and found that many on this team are not attending the office more than 2 times a week, if this continues we're going to have to enforce 5 days a week! thanks!

>>52678753
Absolutely based

I unironically just can't handle all the passive aggressiveness from office jobs

>Let's catch up after work

This is just a sad way of saying my marriage is falling apart and I don't wanna go back home to deal with that blowback

>>52678730
> our OKRs are top-of-mind for this quarter

>>52678967
OP here kek'd at this one, pretty sure i've heard this in the past day or two

>the perception is that you're not meeting targets
>but I am meeting targets, here are the numbers
>right, and I see that, but the perception is that you're not
Real, actual exchange I had with my manager

>>52683304
lol how did the rest of that conversation go?

>>52678730
>call coworker
>dog barking in background whole time

>>52679612
There was a gate in one of our warehouses that was always left open because people were always walking in and out of it. After 30 years of just being like that, she decided to slap a sign on the gate that says "keep gate closed at all times". She's so desperate to feel important kek

>"did you include that data I asked you to?"
>yeah it's broken down on the second tab
>"could you move it to the first tab?"
>yes, but the first tab is meant to be a summary, not a breakdown
>"but when I open the workbook I can't find it"
>on the second tab? I highlighted it in blue
>"right but I shouldn't have fish for what I asked for. it should just be there"

>>52683699
>Repeat for everyone who receives the data

As per our conversation...

>>52678730
>Excellent work on this proof of concept anon, you really went above and beyond and it does solve the problem that our initially outsourced app suffers from and it really does improve performance! However just in case something does break we’ll keep the app as it is, and when we finally rebuild the app from the ground up we can consider your proof of concept again!
I don’t know why I bother bros.

>>52678730
>I'll ping you after the daily.
>Do you have a moment for a call?
>We have to talk about your PR, there are some things I don't understand.
>Do you still have a ticket to work on?
>Please make sure you update the status of the ticket
>Yay everyone it's Friday :^)

All that in unbearable German, Polish, Indian and Arab accents

>>52678730
test

>>52678730
When I was a wagie the night mange always used to come up and say
>Working hard or hardly working?
>Are you going to milk that all night?

>>52678730
Good morning team!
Can I call you at once?
Now it's our team who's going to do that

>>52684407
Sounds like a win. If it was in production there's a chance it could come back to bite you.

>>52683471
>OK, I understand and even though I don't agree with the characterization it's my job to fix your perception so tell me what I need to do differently
Because I am an INTP doormat cuck

>>52678730
>Let's just merge for now and I'll make a ticket so we can fix it next sprint
Just fucking kill me

I took this week off just to force myself to use PTO. Not dealing with the office is amazing. I wish I could quit but I make too much and need the money to get by. I was happier when I made 10 bucks an hour and no job was important to me because I was poor anyway. Really does feel like slavery the more you make since it becomes harder to quit.

>>52684899
sad

>something is wrong
>can you be more specific?
>it doesn't work

>>52685401
I understand completely. I feel chained up, I can't speak my mind, even an offhand comment. The work itself is easy but I hate the people so much.

>>52678753
lol at my company we call them "the girls" and there are only 5 of them and they are all secretaries and one does like payments receivable or something. All hot except one too

>On Monday
>Case of the Mondays

>On Tuesday
>At least it's not Monday

>On Wednesday
>Hump day lol

>On Thursday
>It's almost Friday!

>On Friday
>Happy Friday

>>52679155
Ok tranny.

>>52684518
kek this. I design buildings for a living and when the project we put our hearts and souls into doesn't get built, we call it a perfect project.

Folks,

I know I am seeing a lot of back-and-forth on this topic, but I really need to push back and raise some red flags here.

Having an on-site office presence is foundational to our ability to drive efficiencies in a corporate landscape. It is in our DNA. Sure, there is no 'one size fits all' or silver bullet and some are just boilerplate solutions, leveraged to the hilt and really only keeping us at a 30,000-foot-view of things. Being on-site, however, really allow us to get better granularity, find better directional-indicators, or loop back and dive deep into some critical issues on a go-forward basis.

I think if you all start spending more time in the office again, you'll find yourself trending toward the positive, but you'll have to keep an eye on the puck. Gut through it, reduce thrash, and let's stay in lock-step on this. Yes, we will synergize!

What's the root cause of the hatred of Corporate office spaces? I'll put my layman's hat on and guess that it comes from movies such as Office Space and Dilbert cartoons. But we all know that these are fictional spaces, and real office spaces allow us to touch base in a much more efficient manner.

I have to time-box this comment, as I have a hard-stop in a moment when I will have to jump onto a call. So, just one more point that I want to cover-off on: let's socialize the idea of having more office presence and loop back to see whether we're being more impactful. From a management standpoint, I think that we can get the traction to do it.

So, net/net, ignore the naysayers, sidebar the folks that are stuck in the weeds, and don't waste cycles or bandwidth on folks that don't align strongly with this mission. Try it out, and we'll have another touch point in a little while to see if we've moved the needle. Remember, our north star hasn't changed. We're still championing our core values remotely and we will only do it better in person.

If you need me, I will be online again in a bit.

>hey guys how's it going?
>not doing any work I bet?
>haha just joking. I don't mind
>Just make sure you get your work done and you can do whatever
>Alright good catch up, laters

>>52678730

>Let's circle back and touch base on that item later, it seems out of scope
>I added Brad's team to the weekly meeting, I'm hoping to leverage some synergy between groups if we focus on our core competencies
>We can touch base during tomorrow's stand-up, give you some time to get the lay of the land
>I want to highlight our value add and show that this is a win-win
>I'm feeling out of the loop here, when was the last time Frank ran the numbers?
>Brandon is going to do a deep dive into the data and perform a drill down into our key customer segments
>This initiative is really going to move the needle on our top KPI's
>We can already make this a game changer by taking care of some low hanging fruit
>Let's take that off-line, ping me when you know you'll be available
>We're not trying to boil the ocean here, our north star hasn't changed
>I think Candace drove home a few big pictures for you all to think about
>Sidebar the folks that are stuck in the weeds for a moment and continue to stay in lock-step as we move forward.

>>52686706
>Great job Anon, the client has praised you again - here's a spot bonus.
>Me: send some emails, make a presentation look nice then follow up on people fill in their updates, meet with directors and senior directors about updates
>$130k a year.
Meh it's a living. Next stop is upper middle management wage and I can truly start taking nappies during work hours.

>>52678730
My name in a frustrated tone.

>>52686301
>Hey, how're you doing?
>"Well, it's Monday."
50-some non-Holiday Mondays a year and you're going to say that every time? I'm never asking again.

>>52685401
golden handcuffs
i have this now, my net worth is close to $1m but I took out a loan of $150k to buy BTC and alts at $16.5k, and most of that net worth is real estate.

so i feel now like I just need to wageslave another year at least to pay that loan off.
basically am hoping by 2025 we get another bull run and I can at that point quit working and retire to be honest

at the moment the money is just too important and my salary is too high to let it go

>>52678753
I hate people talking in general I keep to myself and wear headphones to drown it all out.

I only have to come into the office one day a month, otherwise, I have a daily meeting that lasts 5 minutes just to say hi to everyone and confirm everyone's workload. My job is pretty autonomous besides the meeting and asking my boss a question if I need something, so I don't have to deal with too much bullshit.

>>52678730
>Hey anon I think you're cute. Want to grab some coffee during lunch?
Piss off bitch I'm an incel I don't do that sort of thing

>>52678730
I hate the shoot you an email saying
Makes me think of shoot cum and it makes me super uneasy
How bout I shoot this email all over your pussy, karen?

>good morning

>>52686902
Fuck that's the dream

Doing automation RPA stuff and I'm still getting requests on if I could do this, or IT related ask this. If I wasn't being monitored so much, I'd find a way to just automate my whole job and emails.

>>52678730
these type of motherfuckers deserve the worst

>>52678730
>Roasties gossiping about bullshit and their relationships
>Boomers talking about college sports
>The one faggot who makes the microwave smell like raw onions for an hour

>>52678730
>You got 5 minutes? I need to talk to you about something.

>>52678730
>Only with explicit Level 5 approval can a Level 3 add toil. Toil can only taken up with explicit approval of Level 5, and never during a Peak event. Toil can never be daisy chained to constitute a holiday.

>>52686944
convince the boomers that the term now is to jizz me the deets.

>Good morning, sir.

>>52678730
>How long until that machine is working again?
It'll work when I'm done fixing it. I have half the fucking thing taken apart and there's a good chance the replacement part I'm putting in is also broken. Fuck off.

>>52678753
I enjoy 1 on 1 coffee talks with the cute office milf, it's the only interaction with women I get. She's like 40 but so petite and young looking. Would sniff

>>52686599
This made me kill myself.

>>52678838
based if you're white.
kys if not.

>>52679155
did you get that thing I sent you?

>HAPPY FRIDAY :D!
>HAPPY MONDAY :(

>>52678838
holy based

>>52678838
>I will suck on her clothes
Huh?

*33-46 yr olds talking about how some guy is making so much money doing this or that
"KILLING IT!"

really made me realize most married men have no purpose besides making more money, usually to please their wives. All sense of wanting to be relevant, influential, explorative, artistic, adventurous, impact more people than just immediate family, everything that makes a man gone. Just a cuck for the monetary system.

>>52690909
it's funny because i find a lot of men around that age start to care about their work a lot more too
i think work becomes the one place they have some sense of power/influence (they don't but they want to believe it).

>>52678730
>core values

>>52685401
Thanks for the uplifting post (for me)
As a L1 wagie, the power I wield is unmatched
Easily replaceable, but know that I am a rare find, not retarded and likely the best here at my shitty low pay grade.
I don't give a fuck about their stupid work talk or work vamps
Last week our site lead (probably like $250k position) told one of my managers, to tell me, to turn my music off while I was working in a truck.
You're allowed to have music on, just not headphones, so I felt I was right. I went to HR, and even the roastie said it, I was right
So on break I went out to my car and blasted aggressive alt metal like system of a down and it echoed through the parking lot, was parked near site lead. He came out and eyed me, and then peeled off.
Does what I did actually inflict pain? No
But what it does inflict, is an ego hit.
I don't follow your rules. I won't follow them. I shit on your rules and what are you gonna do? Write me up? After last week when you just had a nigger try to fight with you?
Circle back on to this dick bitch.

>>52689706
I hate these. They always end up taking over 4 hours because the question reveals some shitty business logic that was written in the 90s that has assumptions that everything has been relying on until this latest feature that needed to be implemented revealed the initial assumptions to be wrong. Worse still, i'm usually the one who asks this question.

>>52686599
Lol

>Email from company owner/CEO making at least 10 times more than everyone else
>"Hello fellow employees!"

>>52684429
I hate indian accent. I cant stand them. I always thought I was not a racist but goddamn whenever I hear an Indian IT guy talk, I'm really in doubt...

They talk super fast, I dont understand anything of what they say. They have a lot of background noises also. They work in large call centers I think. Fuck them

>>52678838
I wanna WFH job so bad

>>52678956
who the fuck says that anon I think that is an experience exclusive to you

>>52678730
When I’m in the Walmart staff room and hear gunfire

reading this thread made me realize I will NEVER mesh into a corporate environment. Im lucky to be making 20-30$ an hour serving (double state avg for entry lvl wage). This thread was truly a god send because I now realize in my mid 20's I am at a critical point of needing to buckle down and take advantage of this above avg money I'm taking home and start making plans to become self sufficient.

I have only known a world street crime, blue collar work and dirty, foul mouthed, back stabbing kitchen and jobsite culture. If someone rubbed me the wrong way, there is a back door or a dumpster to scrap outside of. I imagine the boss >>52679454 describes being the ruler of my day to day life and I don't think I'd make it a week before I called her a spoiled, entitled and thoroughly useless cunt with an equally useless faggot of a brother. Also I say retard and faggot 43 times a day at work.

>>Nice to e-meet you
This faggot globohomo shit came around the corner about the time of "stay safe".

>>52684899
you can literally just not be a doormat you cuck
"well unfortunately this company runs on numbers not on perception, do you have anything else because I'm quite busy"

>>52684899
god reading this genuinely fills me with rage, I know im samefagging to reply again but I just had to get that out there. Fuck me not even beta fucking line-toters succeed in the corporate world, what kind of fucking human being do you have to be to be both successful and well liked in this fucked up corporate world

>>52691684
Not everyone works at taco bell

>>52689947
Kek

>>52689978
>Good morning, Mr. Anon.

Where anon is my first name.

>>52691153
How do you think he should start an email to everyone in the company?

>Hello you filthy peasants

>>52686835
Yes. Please stop asking. Thanks

>>52692107
go finish your paperwork chud I got waitresses to fuck

When was the last time you ran the numbers? We're not trying to boil the ocean here. Last time I asked Mark to drill down and do a deep dive and then bubble up why the new hires weren't syngergising with our value add. He came back by the close of play with a key takeaway at our thought shower: the need to upskill our new bods going forward. We ran this up the flagpole and our customer journies improved massively. Ping me offline and circle back to touch base once you have refocused on our north star. Sometimes you have to punch a puppy to get a job done.

Love me 9999 Dragons. Simple as.

>>52693293
Last post best post.

This Chad has been around the block

>>52679212
>we'll circle back

>>52678730
>>52678753
>>52678759
>>52678778
>sanna marin has the right to enjoy herself and party how much she wants
Makes me want to minecraft someone

>>52691563
It is the best. I live in the forest 40 km away from the city, office and niggers. I actually do anything probably about 4h per day
Civil structural engineer for globohomo company

>>52683017
half my job has become explaining that the chip and microprocessor shortage is affecting all air conditioning manufacturers and going with a different brand won't save them any time because they all get delayed to right at 6 months from when you order.

I figured out the secret sauce for success and I've been coasting on this for years now.

>in a meeting
>some highly technical nerd says some boring nerd shit
>I chime in
>"Let me make sure I understand this..."
>repeat everything he just said, but slower and with a slightly different inflection
>He says "Yes that's correct."
>Now I'm the smartest person in the room

Four promotions later no one has caught on

>>52678730
Don't do it anymore but
>Get me your manager.

>>52678730
>explicitly exclude something from my scope of work in the proposal
>project starts, we don't do the thing i excluded
>anon, when are you guys going to do (the thing i excluded)
>we're not, i excluded it in my proposal
>can you just do it? we thought you had it included and we can't eat that cost
>neither can I, tell your estimators to read my proposal and qualify their bids
the general contractors i work with are retarded, but it's fun telling them to piss off when they want shit for free. construction is blowing up in my area too, so they can't afford to stop giving us work.

>>52698788
Genious. Checked

>>52678730
>You have plans for weekend?
>How are you?
>Do you have a GF?
>Why don't you have a GF?
>Do you have kids?

>>52678730
>HR asking me about some dumb shit while I try to get out enough billing to make payroll
>I'm confused
>I don't feel comfortable doing this
>I don't want to have guns pointed at me
>I don't want to climb fences
>I don't feel well and need to work from home today
>My betus is on the fritz and I need to go home
>I'll make up these hours
>My boss everytime he says "we need to do x"

Mandatory overtime for the hourly next 2 weeks and it feels good when they cry now.

I fucking HATE corporate/meeting room lingo

>>52686670
>is 10 years younger than you, but higher position
>takes a full year maternity leave for every kid she shits out
actually maybe I just hate women

>>52686645
My old boss used to be exactly like this holy shit one of my ex co-workers almost beat his ass before quitting kek.

>Crushing it!
>This is how we close 5mil in sales, people!
>What kind of results are YOU seeing?
>It's absolutely not meant to brag, but
>Here's what it feels like to no longer worry about MONEY

>>52686599
Holy corporarate pile of buzzwords, Batman!

>company has record profits
"Sorry anon we can't give you a raise this year, budget is too tight"
>I immediately give notice
"THIS IS ABSOLUTELY UNPROFESSIONAL AND THIS IS TOTALLY UNEXPECTED FROM YOU. THE JOB IS MORE THAN JUST MONEY"

makes me laugh every time