/biz/ - Business & Finance

>drill down
>core competencies
>take this offline
>run the numbers

>>51374111
>me and Sam will touch base on this

>>51374111
>we'll take that offline
>noted
>if you need anything just reach out
>we need to engage X
>can just imagine the synergies
>this space

>>51374111
>what we need to do is find the right balance

>>51374111
>how do they relate to thecore-values

>>51374111
>ping me

>just need a sanity check on this

>spit balling

>fit for purpose

>We missed all the KPIs this week.
>I need 100% productivity
>X's team has not reported any issues with the new software. Are you sure there is an issue?

>>51374111
>let's double click on this for a moment

>we need come up with a final solution

>lets touch base

>>51374111
>no turnkey solutions

>cost cutting
>streamline
and that's why you get 3 less days of PTO and mandatory overtime.

> My Dearest Jonathan,
> I write to you today with hopes that you might assist me with this ticket that I submitted yesterday morning. Within, you shall find a full summary of the issue at hand, most notably the specific error that I receive on my computing device when I attempt to log in. Woe, what terrible spectres haunt me within this machine, for I have tried time and again to resolve this as my own person (for he who relies too heavy on others is foolhardy and quarrelsome). Alas, I have failed in these attempts, and am thus at a loss. Please write back to me at your earliest convenience so that this matter may finally be put to rest.
> Your humble friend and acquaintance in the Lord Our God,
> Paul

>>51377878
Paul seems like a pretty based colleague

>>51377878
kek

>>51374111
next monday
>calm down bob we are not trying to boil the ocean here
>lets go after the low hanging fruit first
so we can all get great kpi's this quarter and leave this mess for next
>dont forget our north star hasnt changed

>>51377878
checked and kekd

>>51374111
>do you have time to sync up this afternoon?

>Hit me up when you're back online

>we need to burn the midnight oil on this one
>pls check this
>let's get the whole team on this tonight, need it before 6 am
>i thought you went to an ivy?
>im going to move this up the chain

>>51378552
>dont forget to let the contractors do a deep dive on the data before kicking it up a level

why do they all talk like that, are all managers secretly robots?

>>51377878
based paul

>retards schedule a call for 8AM to have a meeting with me
>it could have been resolved with an email
Thank God I'm exempt from going back into the office.

>>51374111
> daily stand-up
> not a good fit
> SERVE THE ANTICHRIST
> career trajectory
> quiet quitting
> rockstar
> SACRIFICE A BABY TO MOLOCH
> inclusivity
> on brand
> team-centered
> go-getter
> bandwidth

what the fuck happened to boomers to make them this way? Where did it all go so horribly wrong?

>>51374111
>hmm we need to send out a simple email in order to move forward with the project
>Jim, schedule that email to be sent out by the end of next month

>>51377878
>RE: "Your humble friend and acquaintance in the Lord Our God"
>Ummm this is a bit awkward Paul, but here at [CORPORATION] we actually serve the antichrist.... I don;t know if maybe they forgot to inform you during orientation and training, but this may cause issues further down the line for you. don;t freak out but i have to let you know that i've already reported this to HR. as long as you touch base with them ASAP and submit to the antichrist i'm sure you can get this sorted out without too much issue.

>>51374111
http://conferencecall.biz/

>product-market fit
>get our ducks in a row

>>51377878
Fucking kek

>how exactly is this a devops issue?

>>51380314
>http://conferencecall.biz/
amazing

>>51374167
>this space
ffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

>ship it

>keep me honest on this

>>51374111
>embrace agile
>get everybody together again

>>51380314
kek, beautiful

>>51380314
also, le I can hear typing meme kek

I'll run it up the flagpole

I really don't like these threads

>>51377878
>too heavy
*too heavily

>>51374111
>Cultivating a people oriented culture

>>51375021
jfc that's a new one

>>51380314

>>51380314
winrar

>>51380314
Classic

>>51377878
>>51380309
*golf claps*

>>51375044
> let’s tag up next week

>we'll need to do our BAU deep-dive to provide more color to the deck and present a more holistic deliverable to senior management. i'll block out something on your calendar so we can discuss the action items in 30 minutes so we can drill down on the low hanging fruit given our current bandwidth

Death to anyone who speaks like this

>>51374111
>collaborate to achieve
>internal vs external workflow
>after-hours engagements
I thank christ I don't work in an office anymore.

>>51374111
I don't get it

>>51377878
>>51380309
High quality

>>51375021
>>let's double click on this for a moment
You definitely made this up just now

>>51375030
I'm suing

>let’s put a pin in it
>what I THINK you’re saying is
>let’s pull up together on this item tomorrow at 9AM

>boomer boss looks at my work
>"It needs to pop more, make it pop"

>>51386604
No I’ve heard it on earnings calls. It’s real

>please advise
>do you have the bandwidth
>ballpark estimate
>going forward

>>51386650
I don’t have bandwidth but I do have capacity

>Brown Bag Lunch renamed to Lunch n’ Learn due to racism

>I've got a hard stop at 6 O'clock
>Metaverse avatar subtracts 50 pounds of fat

>>51374111
>We are a FAMILY

I HATE THIS THREAD FUCK OFF NIGGERS I COME HERE TO RELAX AND MAKE MONEY NOT BE REMINDED OF FUCKING FAGGOTS AT WORK FUCK YOU

>>51386604
Kek

>>51386604
I wish anon, I wish.

>work with boomers
>none of them talk like this
tfw poorfag

>>51374111
>work hard play HARDER