/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>51287919
>talking abt crypto irl
you deserve to get mugged moron

>>51287919
The prospect of an incredibly painful afternoon courtesy of me pulling off your arms and using them to smash your car and your face in.

>>51287919
>>what stops me punching you in the face and stealing your usb after I hear about you brag about crypto
the fact that your little wimpy weak arms and small hands can barely hold the USB.

>>51287919

>>what stops me punching you in the face and stealing your usb

I'm bigger and stronger than you and if you try it i'll rip your fucking head off and shit down your throat. Pussy.

>>51287946
Wouldn't be possible. OP and me are stronger and smarter than you.

>he talks about his crypto IRL

ngmi

>>51287968
Crazy beats strong every time

>>51287962
Big talk comes from small men.

>>51287982
Wouldn’t want to be those watermelons sitting in a bleach white truck.

>>51287919

my passphrase, even if you stole my seed you can't access my funds or even know my addresses. You'd have to torture me for it, and I'd only give you a throwaway wallet with little funds because if you kept torturing me after that I'd know you'd just do it anyway even if I told you my real wallet's passphrase.

>>51287919
I don’t brag anon. Matter of fact, I am impoverished. I look poor, I smell poor.

>>51287919
I'm a /fit/ nigger and am better armed and trained than the faggots at /k/ope.
It's not just the precious metals boomers who are deranged brass hoarders, nigger

>>51288089
>I'm a /fit/ nigger

>>51287919
Fun fact: if you do a p2p trade on binance via bank transfer you can see the general location of the atm used to deposit funds on the transaction, these guys have millions. Obviously there'd be a few atms in the area but with the timing and scoping it out you could find one of them. Then a quick stalk, beat down, torture or just use their fingerprint when they're unconscious.

>>51287919
>>51288105
If you're willing to kidnap and torture people you WILL be able to steal their money, crypto or not. What stops a criminal from kidnapping a rich child and demanding a ransom? Police, generally, but nothing other than that really

>>51288186
The difference is its unregulated and easy to get away with, also the average crypto holder is a beta faggot

>>51287919
My hardware wallet is inside my home. You'd need to kidnap and torture me first, then infiltrate my apartment which may have other people inside.

>>51288226

How is it easier? You essentially need to kidnap and torture someone to get their crypto, at least if they have any meaningful amount of crypto so followed basic security measures.

>>51288028
>HI GUYS WHAT IF YOU JUST DIE!? AT MY HAND!?!? OwO!? LAMO WHAT DOES MATERIALIST WEALTH THEN MEAN!?!?!?!?

quality thread OP :(

>>51288226
It's harder to kidnap and torture a beta faggot than a literal child. Demanding ransom is easy with crypto. In both cases, it's the police you should be worried about, not the person you're kidnapping/torturing
>unregulated
Not to a point where you can steal it and that's not a crime

>>51288239
The irony is that all the wallets have to connect to the internet to transact (if crypto works as it is intended) so if OP isn't just logging onto your computer to snoof and edit your transactions he is doing more work than he needs to.

>>51287919
the whole point is crypto is so i dont have to interact with others

>>51287919
my gun

>>51287919
this is called a $5 wrench attack. People with money are aware and prepared for such cases. Fuck around and find out nerd.

>>51289058
https://cryptosec.info/wrench-attack/
wanted to see what biz would say but you got it right

>>51287919
In order:
* the law (requires committing armed robbery without being caught on a door-cam or a phone)
* the passphrase (requires torture/keylogging/camera)
* laundering the crypto

The last one is what got Ilya Lichtenstein/Heather Morgan v&ed for the Bitfinex heist.
They literally couldn't launder any sizable amount of crypto with six years, dozens of fake IDs and loads of resources. They still couldn't get any decent amount of clean cash into their own accounts.

I think about this about twice a day, if I knew where a hard-core gangster lived, assuming I could get their crypto wallet and passphrase, how would I even get the money in a way I could use without being traceable and one day ending up getting tortured to death?
If I stole enough to be worthwhile then they and their associates and whoever they could corrupt would never stop looking and I'd never be safe. They can easily corrupt some Russian or Belarusian cops or something and those guys are still in Interpol and could investigate a trans-national theft for years and leak anything they find. How could I get the money anonymously? I don't think it's possible in today's world. Lichtenstein and Morgan didn't do it and they knew more than me about this shit.

It's not so much that crime doesn't pay but that making crime pay gets you caught.

>>51287919
My thick BBC that I'll whip out and shove down your white throat, cracka

I'm a BIT holder anon, I will literally destroy you and tear your ACL apart. You'll never walk again anon don't fuck with me.

>>51287919
I live in a white neighborhood.

good man

>>51287919
>what stops me punching you in the face and stealing your usb
The same thing that stops you from punching anyone else in the face and taking whatever cash and valuables that they have on them, the fact that you're a massive pussy and wouldn't do in real life any of the shit you larp about online.

>>51287919
You can't try that, you ass licking faggot

>>51287919
Over a decade of boxing training

>>51289158

The bitfinex hackers were retarded. I don't think it would actually be that hard to launder the proceeds in crypto, especially with smart contract platforms where you don't even have to deal with CEXs anymore just wrap your BTC to ETH, swap it to eth and use a defi mixer, then buy some NFTs or start your own shitscoins LPs and pump them. If you are talking less than 8 figures over a few years no one is going to look closely at that and if even if they did they couldn't prove anything it would just look sketchy.

The problem with physically stealing crypto is that its extremely high effort, high risk, and low rewards. 1/10 people you rob aren't going to even have a lot a crypto. So you'll go through effort and risk to get a few grant. The 1/10 person who has 6 figures or more most likely has a passphrase or harware wallet with a pin. At the end of the day its 100x easier to phish someone or hack a website or something with close to zero risk.

>>51287919
thread is bait but who cares
>what stops me
HW is useless without the pin. And I could lie about the pin even if you threatened me for that

>>51289647
>if even if they did they couldn't prove anything it would just look sketchy

So you'd do a pump&dump on your own NFT chain (or your own NFTs from another chain) and essentially scam your stolen BTC wallet?

Might maybe work if you're trying to escape the IRS, wouldn't work for gangsters, they could still use a corrupt Interpol agent from a sketchy country to investigate the NFT that was bought and then get your name when you transferred the proceeds back to cash/bullion etc. Then you end up being tortured.

It would work in OP's sense I guess, just not for the big whales that it would be worth doing it to.

>>51290163

That's the what the mixer is for. Whoever you stole from can't track you through the mixer. You don't launder the money yet before you mix it. Once its mixed you have untraceable funds that whoever you stole from has no clue about. Then that's where you have to launder it if you want to cash out, but you only have to worry about the IRS at that point.

>>51287919
Because I'll take my penis out and shove it up your poop hole before you can steal it. Then you'll be my little bitch.

My linkies will be tied up in staking anyway and i'll be carrying a credit card that never runs out because it gets paid in full each month from my bank balance which will contain several hundred grand at all times and is topped up with a portion of my staking rewards that have been automatically converted to fiat and sent to my bank account.

>>51290803
The Bitfinex couple used privacy wallets which replaced mixers, it wasn't enough.

>>51287919
The fact that I don’t brag about crypto?

>>51287946
cringe

>>51287919
I don't talk about crypto irl because I'm not a retard.

Why would I ever carry a Ledger with a lot of crypto on it?
Even if crypto was widely used for payments, I'd keep my "daily" hardware wallet separate from my "savings" hardware wallet.

And the first thing I'd do if I lost either wallet is go home and transfer all the funds into a new wallet.

>>51287919
multisig.
gameover.

>>51289058
>this is called a $5 wrench attack
In cryptography, we called it rubber-hose cryptanalysis but the principle is the same.

Assange's first real project was container-in-container encryption meant to defeat this (as much as it can be defeated).
An encrypted container would have two decryption keys. If you're a journalist or human rights activist leaving a nasty place and get pulled out at the airport and they search your laptop and find an encrypted container, you play hard at first until they bring out the rubber hose and start beating you with it then you give them the innocent password, they use it and find the encyrpted container is full of furry porn or something equally embarrassing that could plausibly be encrypted and they laugh at you and (hopefully) let you go.

When you get home to a safe country, you copy the encrypted container to a safe machine and trash the compromised laptop, then decrypt the container with the real password and get your list of whistle-blowers or your highly critical story about the regime and torture or whatever.

>>51291977
too much text.................
multisig prevents retard OP.
Done.

>>51292233
hey anon
I know you are a shy loner but we are super chill
come over tonight and have some beers with us
we can talk about that super cool thing you like
what's it called again.. beet coin or something haha
anyways see you at 10pm

>spends the entire night getting beat up
>i-i-iiiwont give you shit..
>proceeds to beat you even harder
>eventually you agree to comply
>over the next week you are restrained and beaten in some basement while they forge all the info they need to launder the money
>they give you hope that you can have some of it and they will let you live
>they then take you to a farm field
>the end

>>51292233
It's not too much text, learn to read

>>51292411
>come over tonight and have some beers
>high networth guys do this.......................
>high networth guys are high networth because they aren't smarter than the average guy walking about...................
And you still don't understand multisig...
Hint: different geographic locations

>>51292537
cool story anon
now you are gonna get me those coins
or you are going in the field
and so is your family members
>those are your options when you are captured
>they will get what they want one way or another

>>51287919
My loyal and spry pitbull.

>>51292626
>those are your options IF you are captured
Silly anon w/ a very low networth.
That's just too bad.
That's the absolute beauty of crypto: anonymity

>>51291236

They used monero, but that's not why they got caught. They made a bunch of CEX accounts from the same emails and IPs, they were frozen with large amount of crypto and abandoned. then those accounts were linked to platforms that sell gift cards and shit, and even other CEX there iDed on. So then their apartment was searched and the feds literally found the keys for the wallet with the billions of dollars of stolen bitcoin. Once the feds found all their cex accounts, they could match up the monero transactions by amount.

A defi mixer is enough to obscure funds, if you use it right and don't fuck up by withdrawing the exact same amount to linked wallets, don't use tor, and access rpcs or explorers from the same IP which can then make it possible to link the wallets.

>>51287919
>what stops me punching you in the face and stealing your usb
I don't carry my entire life savings inside my backpack anon.

>>51292678
muh low networth
>i know multi millionaire's who don't even use vpns / 2fa because its too hard for them
>you think every potential target has 007 opsec
>fucking cope
>anything can be exploited
>why go after the billionaires with armed security when you can go for the millionaire boomer with one guard

>>51292678
>That's the absolute beauty of crypto: anonymity
I think we went over this, there's only anonymity if nobody wants to know, otherwise it's just a question of how much it costs them to find out.

Peeling chains are dead, tumblers, mixers and even privacy wallets all suffer from traffic analysis vulnerabilities. You might not technically prove that the wallet owner that put money into a mix is the person that received it but if you put 2mil into a mix and get back 2mil - 3%, then they know it's you. You have to use the exact same transaction size as lots of other people to be certain not to be caught, not just once but in total. Even spreading your mixes over time, if a given mixer receives a total of X and you received a total of X - n% over some timeframe, they know its you and it would probably stand up in court.

Definitely good enough to send some boys around to pick you up if that's what they're about.

>>51287919
Go ahead? You can't do shit with that USB anyway

>>51292789
>>why go after the billionaires with armed security when you can go for the millionaire boomer with one guard
Just the multi-millionaire zoomer crytobro with a flash apartment and no security.
Easy prey for a honey pot. Worked like a charm on Assange and he was explicitly warned they'd do it.

>>51291704

The thing is if you are being tortured for crypto, you are probably dead whether you give it up or not, or even if you can't or have nothing to give up. They are just going to torture and then most likely kill you in the end anyway so you can't help ID them. Even if you give in and give them everything you have, they may as well just keep torturing you in case you have more.

>>51292896
>They are just going to torture and then most likely kill you in the end anyway
It very much depends on who is torturing you.

If you're in the hands of organised crime, sure, probably.

If it's an amateur, probably not. They're more likely just greedy and not actually a sociopath who can kill without hesitation or remorse.
This is really just a version of rip&run except that the victims are arguably more innocent than anyone on the wrong end of Omar's shotgun.

Killing people causes lots of trouble, body disposal isn't trivial, people will come looking and the heat is way higher.
Beating someone up for crypto might get a pair of detectives assigned for a day, a murder might get a squad. If it became known that it was involved in crypto and national/international transfers, it could become a federal investigation, treasury or FBI might get involved.

If some Eastern Europeans with scary tattoos took you off your doorstep in Wichita then you're in trouble because they might just dump your body in a dumpsters and immediately leave the country and never come back or set foot in a country that extradites to USA, knowing that they're set for life off what they got from you.
If it's some thugs from down the block, they'll just beat the shit out of you and throw you on the street and count on nobody bein' able to prove nuttin and (they hope) you being too scared to talk.